He was not okay.
He missed her. Oh, sure. He knew that everyone else did, too. Abby was almost perpetually worried as she clutched Bert, and McGee looked like he hadn't slept in days. And Gibbs…sometimes he would just stare at the computer screen in front of him, and they all knew he was thinking about her.
He knew his role in all this. Someone had to keep the team functioning, convince Vance that everything was okay. So he made fun of McGee and playfully flirted with Abs. He pushed Gibbs until the older man had no choice but to head slap him. He gave them all a sense of normalcy.
But he wasn't okay.
And he couldn't help but think how familiar this all seemed. Sitting in his dark apartment, a continually refilled glass in hand. He didn't go out. He didn't take any calls that weren't work related. He just sat there. Remembering, grieving, blaming.
He was not okay.