Chapter 1

Abby hugged Marcus very tight and put her hands into his hair. She knew exactly how he was feeling. She's been blaming herself ever since Clarke removed the key from her head. That's why she knew that words aren't needed now. Time for them will come. At this moment they need to silence themselves and just grieve about what they have done. They lasted that for a while until Marcus stopped sobbing and looked deeply in Abby's brown eyes.

-You should probably go...

-I know that what I did to you is unforgivable and I will never forgive myself. I truly understand why you don't want me near your side and you can tell me to keep away... But not today. Tomorrow will be a time for it. Now you need to rest and I have to clean your wounds before they get infected.

-I try to rebuild this world all the time but instead I'm just ruining everything. I am dangerous to everyone who tries to get closer. Even you...

The way he glanced at her was so overwhelming that a single tear began to run down her face, which she quickly wiped away.

-Don't even say that…

Abby raised her hands to gently touch his cheeks but stopped them millimeters away from Marcus's face. She hesitated for a moment and then lowered them with resignation.

-We will talk about it later. I promise. Now please show me your hands.

Abby pulled out her hands toward his to examine them but before she reached his hands Marcus had taken them away from her.

-I'm sorry… but I'm not sure I want you to look at them.

-You don't have to be sorry. I did this to you and you don't want me to touch you. That's it.

She felt like something just hit her in heart and tears started coming to her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him so she stood up immediately and looked for someone else to help. Jackson was standing close to her so she caught his arm and pulled him closer.

-Jackson please clean Marcus's hands.

-Why can't you do it?

-Will you do it or I have to ask someone else?

Abby felt anger coming into her body so she ran out of the room without getting Jackson's answer. She entered the first empty room she could find and after closing the doors she burst out with tears. She picked up the first thing that came to her hands and threw it across the room making a lot of noise. Abby leaned against the wall and closed her eyes trying to calm down. But that only made her feel worse cause in front of her appeared a view with Marcus on a cross. She slid off on the floor and covered her face with hands sobbing uncontrollably. After some time she heard someone knocking on the doors. Abby took three deep breaths and wiped her eyes.

-Come in.

Clarke repealed the door quietly.

-Mom? Are you alright?

There was no respond.

-Mom? Are you there?

-I'm here.

Abby stood up and showed up to her daughter.

-You feel okay? Any dizziness or something?

-No, I'm fine. I came to check on you. Did something happen? You talked to Kane and then you left so fast.

-I wanted to pull myself together so badly, you know? But I just…I just can't. I don't recognize myself anymore. Tell my Clarke, am I a good guy or am I a monster?

Abby started to starring at her hands. Clarke went closer to her mother and grabbed her hands.

-You're not a monster mom. This wasn't you, it was A.L.I.E.

-But it was me who put him on that cross, Clarke. How is he supposed to look at me now? He'll never do that the way he did. Not after what I've done to him.

-You care about him.

-I do...

Abby looked in her daughter's eyes to see how she'll react. But Clarke didn't do anything.

-I'm sorry, I should've told you earlier but I couldn't find a good moment. Besides I didn't know if you would like to hear about it. I know what you have felt since father's death.

-Mom it's okay. I want you to be happy. Is it something serious?

-Well... Before A.L.I.E I thought it was something real. But now... Clarke he didn't want me to touch him. And the worst thing is that I can't blame him for that because he's right.

-Mom maybe there still chance for you to be happy together.

-Maybe.

-You need to rest. I'll bring you some fresh clothes from my room. I hope they are still there. I'll be right back.

Clarke smiled and walked out of the room. Abby stood for a moment watching the doors and then made her way to the bathroom. Her daughter was right. She definitely needs to rest. Abby took off her clothes and turned the warm water to fall. She was standing in a shower for a long time. Her level of adrenaline was going down and she started to feel pain in her muscles and bruises on her neck, which she rubbed nervously.

When she walked out of the bathroom clothes which brought Clarke was waiting for her. She got dressed fast and decided to have some sleep. Abby laid on the bed covered with animal fur and closed her eyes when someone got inside her room without knocking. She was too tired to open her eyes again so decided to pretend she's asleep. It was probably Clarke, who wanted to check again if she's alright. Abby heard steps coming near to her and Clarke kneeled down next to the bed. Her hand gently touched Abby's cheek and a finger wiped off last tears which were coming down her face. But she realized that it wasn't Clarke's hand. It was too big to be hers. Abby slowly opened her eyes and saw Marcus.