Chapter 1

One of the first things John was expecting coming onto this place to meet everyone certainly wasn't a 'team meeting' for the low-down on everything as well as a game plan. God, if he wanted to be bored like this, he would've never started the session and resigned himself to being bored in math class.

Scratch that. MATH CLASS was more interesting than this.

John yawned, not even paying attention at this point. All he wanted to do was go around, meet everyone, catch up with Rose and Dave, and maybe have some fun. By this point, Karkat's voice had become a drone that John couldn't even follow anymore. He decided to slip out and try to find the kitchen, praying they had a coffee machine here. Any more 'team meetings' and he'd need it for days to come.

The rest of the meter wasn't as colorful as the rec room, and in fact, it looked like some kind of weird abandoned factory. It was really creepy, to be perfectly honest. He found himself rubbing his arms, getting the chills.

Maybe he should've stuck it out and asked for directions.

As he walked past a corridor that lead off from the main hall, he was unaware that someone was watching him.

"…and that's really about it. Any fucking questions now, because I don't want to have to fucking repeat myself like a gogdamn squawkbeast." Karkat looked around, DARING anyone to go over anything again.

"Yeah, I got a question," Dave said, raising his hand.

"What is it, Strider?" Karkat grumbled.

"You suck. Let's eat!" Dave dodged the pillow thrown at his head and hurried out the door. Karkat rolled his eyes, giving the room a once-over pausing.

"…..Where the fuck is Egbert?" he demanded. He couldn't have left before Dave…the idiot Heir looked about ready to start hugging him as soon as he arrived, and he truly expected to be glomped as soon as he was done talking.

"Oh, he left like, a half-hour ago," Terezi said. She had tasted the 'fresh blue air' scoot past her, but didn't think it was important enough to speak up. Karkat glowered.

"UGH, that fuckwad!" he snapped. "Did he listen to ANYTH—" He trailed off, feeling a sense of terror seize up his spine, grabbing Terezi's shoulders. "DID HE LEAVE BEFORE OR AFTER I EXPLAINED ABOUT GAMZEE?!"

"Uhm….I think it was before—"

"FUCK!"

Yep. He was lost. BALLS.

John sighed as he hit another dead-end. This was starting to get REALLY irritating, to be honest. And he couldn't even remember if he had turned right or left at that last big intersection. Maybe if he took one of those teleportation thingies…

*honk*

…..the heck was THAT?

John looked around for the sound he'd just heard, but saw nothing. He shrugged. Maybe it was just a piece of equipment malfunctioning. He turned and headed back down the hall to where he saw one of the transportalizers, thinking that even if he managed to find the bathroom level, it would be an improvement.

*HONK*

He jumped, looking around again. Okay, that was NOT malfunctioning equipment. That was a freaking honk. He scratched his head. What the hell could make a honk like THAT? Weird.

*hoooooooooooonk*

John glanced down a hallway he hadn't been down before, stepping into it, seeing it too led to a dead end. Seriously though, why all the dead ends? It made no freaking sense—

He turned around to get back to the main hall and bumped into something.

"HONK!"

John yelped, jumping back, a breeze stemming from his surprise kicking up slightly, staring at the chest of a troll. He wrinkled his nose a little. That shirt smelled like it hadn't been washed in weeks. His eyes trailed up, seeing a fanged grin; even higher, yellow eyes staring down at him, almost glowing in the dim lighting. And…oh man, that was a LOT of hair. And reeeeally sharp horns…

He stepped back again to take in the whole picture, jumping when the troll shot a hand out to hold onto his shoulder to keep him from moving back. "Uhhh…."

"…You smell motherfuckin' nice, motherfucker," the troll said, his voice a low, slow drawl with a bit of scratchiness behind it, like he hadn't used it in a while. He looked John over lazily, eyes honing in on the Aspect sign on John's chest. "…God Tier windy motherfucker," he commented. His hand flexed into John's shoulder.

John winced slightly. Those claws were SHARP. "I…don't think we've been introduced…" he said. "I'm John Egbert." He saw the troll's grin widen, showing off more teeth—oh GOD those were some sharp teeth…!

"Gamzee motherfuckin' Makara," Gamzee replied, eyeing John over again. The windy motherfucker smelled like fresh air…he hadn't smelled that in so long. It reminded him of his hive by the sea...

John yelped when Gamzee shoved him against the wall and growled, feeling the troll bury his face in his hair and inhale deeply. He awkwardly wondered if this was a troll thing. "Um…" he began, only to be silenced by a louder, sharper growl.

It was DEFINITELY salty sea air Gamzee smelled. It was bringing back SO many memories. Memories of him as a newly-pupated kid playing in the surf. Memories of sitting in the sand until the sun rose, waiting for his lusus to come home…memories of being so FUCKING hungry and eating the only thing that smelled even remotely good—sopor slime…memories…memories….dull pain….smile through the dull pain…pain…PAIN…..PAIN….!

John yelped, jerking in Gamzee's hold as the troll's claws dug painfully into his shoulders. "OW, LET GO, YOU'RE HURTING ME!" he yelled.

Gamzee snarled, pulling John from the wall and slamming him back against it. "Shut the motherfuck up!" he snarled. "Motherfuckin' windy boy makin' my motherfuckin' think pan hurt! You think you're motherfuckin' FUNNY!?"

"NO!" John yelped, clenching his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"I SAID SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER!" Gamzee's low drawl was hitting a higher, more insane pitch. He clenched his hands into John's arms tighter, eyes narrowing. Little blue motherfucker said he was sorry. NONE of the motherfuckers in this place ever told him that. He growled. First the newcomer fills his think pan with motherfucking MEMORIES, and then he apologizes for it…..ow…..it only made his head hurt even MORE—!

John was shaking, keeping his eyes clenched shut. What had he done wrong?! He started to panic, a wind kicking up in the hallway, and he suddenly felt the troll's grip on his arms relax. …what? He peeked an eye open, seeing Gamzee looking down at him, a confused expression on his face.

Gamzee smelled something else now. It smelled like countryside air and leather…almost like… All he saw was red, slamming John against the wall again. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" he shrieked. "YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! WHY DO YOU MOTHERFUCKING SMELL LIKE HIM!?" He slammed John against the wall again. "STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT THE MOTHERFUCK NOW!"

John yelped, shaking. "PLEASE!" he shouted. "I'M NOT DOING IT ON PURPOSE, JUST STOP!" He pushed at Gamzee's chest, looking up pleadingly. "PLEASE…!" He paused, seeing that Gamzee was glowering at him hatefully, but crying copious purple tears. He looked so angry, but so SAD…

"….I'm sorry," John said. "I don't know what I'm doing, but I swear, I'm sorry…" He winced when Gamzee's hands clenched around his arms tighter.

Gamzee glowered down at the small human, the apologies ringing around in his head, those wide, pleading eyes again reminding him of Tavros. He scowled, feeling wetness on his fingertips, looking down and seeing red seeping out of the wounds his claws were making. 'RUSTY GUTTERBLOOD!' his brain screamed as he let go of one of John's shoulders, raising his hand to examine it.

Not as dark as Aradia's, but not as bright as Karkat's. Still Lowblooded. He lifted two of his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them. It almost tasted like unbaked sopor slime.

His think pan twitched, the instinctive addiction tugging at his senses, making him shove the other blood-smeared fingers into his mouth, letting out a guttural moan as the placebo effect took place. Definitely like unbaked sopor slime…

John paled when he saw Gamzee sucking the blood off his own fingers, praying something Karkat neglected to mention wasn't that trolls were fond of human flesh. Because that would SO not be cool. He made a move to split now that he had a shoulder free, but Gamzee snarled, pinning him back against the wall again.

"Your dirt blood is motherfuckin' gooooood," he growled, pressing closer to him. "Give me motherfuckin' MORE."

Vampire trolls in space. GOD, that would make a shitty movie.

John whimpered, shaking. "Please don't kill me," he squeaked, his eyes going wider. Gamzee snarled. MESSIAHS DAMN THOSE EYES LIKE TAVROS'S! He slammed John against the wall again, for no other reason than to let out his anger.

"THEN MOTHERFUCKIN' GIVE IT TO ME!" he roared, shaking the human by the shoulders. John was starting to get sore and lightheaded.

"OKAY!" he shouted. "STOP SHAKING ME, PLEASE! JUST CALM DOWN!" He needed to take his own advice; he was SO close to freaking clean the fuck out, wondering how the hell to give the troll blood without DYING. The thought made his legs turn to Jell-O, sinking down to the floor.

Gamzee knelt in front of him, growling louder, getting impatient. "Give me your motherfuckin' rank-shit blood before I crack your motherfuckin' skull open and GET ALL I MOTHERFUCKIN' WANT MYSELF!"

John yelped, reflexively holding his arm out, clenching his eyes shut and waiting for the worst.

Gamzee eyed the offered arm in front of him, noticing pale blue veins coming from the wrist and the crook. He frowned. Wasn't the human's blood red? He prodded at the veins with his claw, growling. Backwards-ass motherfucker. He dug his claw into the vein on the wrist, glowering when red blood welled up from the blue vein. "THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?" he shouted, making John jump.

"What? I didn't do anything—"

"Shut the motherfuck up." Gamzee didn't feel like making his think pan hurt any more than it already was, squeezing John's arm and licking at the blood that welled up, growling softly in the back of his throat.

John just sat there with his eyes clenched shut, chewing his lip, wondering just what god he had pissed off to warrant this kind of fuckery happening to him. His fingers twitched as Gamzee's tongue sloshed around on his sensitive wrist skin, shuddering when those sharp teeth scraped over his skin.

Gamzee growled when the blood stopped flowing. He wasn't NEARLY done enough! He pulled John's arm closer at a better angle, and bit down hard, his mouth flooding with blood.

John shrieked, his arm jerking hard but only making the pain worse when Gamzee's teeth stayed latched in. He bit down hard into his hood, shaking and trying not to scream when Gamzee started to suck on the bite wounds.

After a couple of minutes, the pain started to subside as he started to heal, letting out a shaky sigh and daring to peek his eyes open.

Gamzee was still licking at his arm, content purrs rumbling from his chest, feeling like the sharp edges that had been slicing at his brain were finally dulling out. He didn't even care that the blood had stopped flowing by this point. Dragging his tongue over the sharp-tasting small bite marks was soothing enough.

A few minutes later, Gamzee stopped licking, and that was two minutes after the wounds had healed. All John could do was just sit there and stare uncomfortably, wondering if it would be worth it to move to keep his arm from locking up the way it was bent. He was spared having to make that decision when Gamzee dropped his arm, staring at him lazily, and John could see his pupils were dilated, like was high.

"…motherfuckin' good, brother," Gamzee said, reaching over and papping John on the head. "Got the wicked stings outta my motherfuckin' think pan REAL good." He stood up and began swaggering down the hall, his purring still audible.

John remained sitting on the floor, staring at his arm which had translucent purple saliva stains on it. What the actual fuck had just happened?

"JOHN FUCKING EGBERT!"

John jumped, using his hood tail to wipe the saliva stains off his arm, finishing up with two seconds to spare before Karkat came skidding around the corner, looking livid.

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!?" Karkat shouted. "AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST SITTING ON THE FLOOR LIKE A RETARDED GRUB!?" He glowered as John gave him a shaky smile and stood up.

"…I got lost," John replied, reflexively shifting his affected arm slightly behind his back. "…So I figured I'd just stay put until someone found me. Kinda worked, didn't it?"

Karkat's eye twitched. "….I fucking hate you," he said. "Not in a million sweeps, eons after my screams have faded, could anyone comprehend the depths of which I absolutely loathe the air you breathe." He grabbed John's arm and stalked off, dragging John with him. "And NOW I have a half-hour's worth of shit to catch you up with, you dumbfuck! I hope you're FUCKING happy!"

John didn't even protest.