FIRST AND FOREMOST: I AM NOT ABANDONING CHILD PRODIGY V2. I am at a point that I am a little blocked, so this plot bunny decided to hop up and demand attention.

To sum it up: This is a series of one shots story about many alternate universes. Unless stated in the AN beginning each chapter, the AU should be Harry Potter by default. It would also indicate a crossover in the Chapter Title. On to the story.

Standard Disclaimer applies to all chapters. I don't own Harry Potter nor any canon or other ideas legally belonging to their respective owners. Specific Disclaimer will appear in each chapter. This disclaimer is for all Harry Potter related AU that do not have other fictions within, such as Doctor Who.

I do not own the idea for multiple universes, that is the idea being the quantum theory that there resides and exists multiple realities. I did get the idea to write this particular series of one shots from that theory. I also own the idea, unless otherwise stated, behind each chapter.

Dedicated to Jostanos, for being an AWESOME beta, to RiverHolly13086 for being an awesome writer, to VivyPotter for her Many Potters of Little Hangleton story and allowing me to beta. Dedicated to each and every one of my readers and reviewers and those who have me as their favorites, as well as each of MY favorite authors. Dedicated to creativity and to all future creative writers. Dedicated to all the Greats of Literature who gave us things like Moby Dick and The Time Machine and War of the Worlds, as well as modern greats like J.K. Rowling. Dedicated to imagination.

And of course, last but not least, dedicated above all to my God and creator.

Characters will be different for each chapter, but will always include one of the Golden Trio and more than likely Albus Dumbledore as well.

AU 00147 – The Universe is on Fire Whiskey

Beta-ed by both Jostanos and RiverHolly13086

Characters: Minerva, Dumbles, Harry, Hermione, and Winky. Fred and George mentioned only.

"How did this happen Mr. Potter?" said Minerva McGonagall. They were in her official Deputy Head's Office. This matter was too serious to leave up to Dumbledore. Albus may have been brilliant, but he was SO very lax when it came to rules and punishments. So there they were, Albus, Ms. Granger, and Mr. Potter, trying to solve this issue. Of course Severus wasn't here as it didn't concern him, even though Albus tried to insist, Minerva was sure that he was not needed, especially after his rude comments. If her son had used such language, he'd been hit with a spanking hex that would have left him standing for a week, which was exactly what happened when her son was 13! As it was, Minerva just had to use a triggered mouth-soap charm that would soap up Severus's mouth every time he spoke certain words, which were usually about Potter. He'd been soaped a good 18 times at the staff meeting before Albus made her cancel the charm.

"Well, Mr. Potter, this is your chance to explain, so explain," said Minerva.

"Well Professor, you see, it was right after our Quidditch victory when the twins brought in something to celebrate. I didn't know what it was so…" said Harry. Hermione snorted.

"Harry, this was the fourth time you've had fire whiskey so don't lie," said Hermione.

"Of course, but those other times, it was barely a sip and you know that was given to me by Madam Promphrey," said Harry.

"Wait, why did Poppy give you fire whiskey?" asked Albus.

"Medical reasons; a spoonful of fire whiskey given right before a dreamless sleep or a nutrition potion causes the potion to settle better the first time either are taken. As I threw up the skelegrow she gave me in my second year, she had to give me some then. Few people know that fire whiskey is actually made with the same ingredients as the anti-allergy potion but in different quantities and in a different order. In fact, it was the only anti-allergy potion for a while, until they developed the non-alcoholic version. Anyway, she gave me a spoon of fire whiskey so I could take the skelegrow as I am allergic to it otherwise," said Harry.

"Why not give you the anti-allergy potion," asked Minerva.

"Snape refuses to brew it; he says it's beneath him, but he won't even have his classes brew it," said Harry, "And her budget is not enough to buy all the potions she needs that Snape won't brew, so she makes do with Fire Whiskey and a few other subsitutes."

Minerva glared at Albus. He promised to have a talk with Severus. In reality, Severus couldn't brew the anti-allergy potion, or most other healing potions; they were beyond his skills. He may have been Britain's youngest Potions master, but he was also one who barely passed with one point to spare, making him Britain's least competent potions master as well. It was probably why his potions tasted like centaur droppings. Throughout Great Britain, every single potions master wondered what possible reason could Albus have for hiring such an incompetent dunderhead.

"Anyway, I had never actually had fire whiskey by itself before as somehow Madam Pomphrey is able to make it non-alcoholic before she gives it to a patient. I think she said it was the powdered bezoar that neutralized the alcohol. So when Fred and George told me that it was a stronger version of butter beer, I foolishly accepted a bottle and drank it. They had put the stuff in butterbeer bottles so I didn't know. After one bottle I felt quite different. I went down to the kitchens to visit Dobby and get some food to settle my stomach. As I went to the kitchens the Fire whiskey took effect, and I became quite drunk. When I got to the kitchens I noticed that Winky's dress was quite fetching, when it was cleaned, and that she was actually quite pretty. I told her this. One thing led to another, and the next morning I woke up, in the house elf quarters, naked, with a naked Winky in my arms. Even today, I don't remember every detail but I can tell you at least this much, Winky was quite willing, and I may have bonded her to me as my house elf," said Harry, "I had to Hermione, she was dying. House Elves need their master to bond with them because if they don't, their magic begins to consume them, which is a very painful death. I bonded with Dobby too, but I didn't do anything else with him."

Harry then turned to Professor McGonagall, "I apologize for taking away one of Hogwart's House Elves. I will order her to stay here and work until I graduate if you wish," said Harry.

"That's not the issue, Mr. Potter. You see, and this is what Poppy told me this morning…and this is something that is supposed to be impossible but Poppy said that knowing your luck, she's not that surprised," said Minerva, trailing off.

"What is it?" asked Hermione.

"Winky is pregnant," said Minerva.

THWUMP.

Harry fell out of his chair in a dead faint!

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