This is just a story that lampoons the many cliches I have seen in this "fandom". UPDATE- If you can't handle the cliche/crack bashing, go read something else, this is clearly not for you.

I own nothing.

Graylu

Lucy woke up on that fated day with a smile adorning her face, one that would disappear soon enough. Following her customary morning ritual, which included bathing, changing, and prepping. She walked to her kitchen to make herself some breakfast, not wanting to eat at the guild that day. When she passed by her dining table, she saw a yellowed not, lying face up. The writing on it was scrawled rather quickly and she made out Natsu's chicken-scratch handwriting. It said, "Hey Lucy, me and Happy are going fishing this morning, so don't worry when we don't show up in the morning, see ya later!". Lucy sighed, realizing that for the note to have appeared on her table, her partner must have broken in yet again. Still, she smiled a little at the thoughtfulness of his gesture, knowing nobody else would have done something like that. Natsu had made it a point to tell her everything he did after coming back from his year of training, witnessing her hidden distress. Perhaps it was compunction on his part, either way, Lucy loved it.

Finishing her meal, she made her way to the guild, having no possible way to predicate the events that took place that day. When she walked through the doors, everything was normal enough. She greeted Mirajane with a wave of her hand, and went to sit in one of the booths, intent to just wait on Natsu, so that they might later go on a job. Lucy knew that the infiltration mission to save the master was going to befall them soon, but Erza had given them three days time to prepare and ready themselves for the mission. Lucy had asked Natsu whether he might want to go on a job during that span, so that they could get in some training before departing for the mission.

While she was lost in her thoughts, she did not see Gray stalk up to her, with a gleam in his eye, "Hey Lucy, good morning."

"Good morning Gray."

"Listen Lucy, there's something that I've been meaning to tell you," he started, with a hint of embarrassment in his tone as his cheeks heated up, "ever since you came to the guild, I've had my eye on you, and now I think it's time for me to let my feelings for you ou-"

"Hold up," Lucy said, with a wave of her hand, her eyes twitching in disbelief, "are you seriously confessing to me right now?"

"Glad we got that out of the way, now would you be so kind as to be my girlfriend?" he asked with a smirk, thinking he knew what her answer would be.

"Gray, is this a joke? I really don't see how this can possibly be real, you have never once actually given me any real hint that you were ever interested in me. And I certainly am not interested in you in that way, don't you listen to my constant explanations to Juvia when she accuses me of being a love rival? Also, now that I think about it, what about Juvia? The one you seem to care about more than the rest of us? You literally let her live with you for half a year, and you seemed to have secretly enjoyed it. Your relationship with her has really evolved over time. I can't honestly believe you're serious and are completely ignoring that. Furthermore, since when have you been interested in romance anyway, all you do is brood in the corner, ignoring or talking with Juvia, while you wait for Natsu to show up so you can fight him." Lucy finished her tirade, breathing heavily, still fuming at the absolute inanity of it all.

"If that's a no, then please reconsider Lucy, you and I are meant to be with each other! We are both really attractive, and as such, it makes obvious sense that we should be together forever!" he exclaimed rather loudly, something the introspective mage never did around anyone except Natsu.

"That is literally one of the shallowest things I have ever heard." Lucy said with an icy stare.

Gray sighed exasperatedly, "Oh come one, Lucy, what about all those times we stood next to each other and talked, that's gotta count for something. And what about all those times that we made a joke. All those seemingly inapplicable moments have a hidden truth, we are meant to be with each other." Lucy looked like she wanted to punch something after Gray said that.

"Really Gray, what's gotten into you? It's like we're in the middle of some deranged fanfiction or something. All the reasons you've given me are trivial and don't make any sense at all. I mean, that's sort of what friends do, because I thought we were friends." she joked halfheartedly, as Gray got up in anger and left, going back the way he had come, no more swagger in his step. Lucy thought that that was very weird, still thinking that it must have been some sort of dare or joke. Gray had never acted like that around her before; if anything he had really warmed up to Juvia in the last two years, still keeping her at distance, but everyone could tell that they were closer. It was strangely out of character for him, sure when Gemini had transformed into him, it had said that he thought she was cute. But that had been a long time ago, and it was probably just a passing remark that ran through Gray's mind when he first saw her. It was normal to have an opinion of someone the first time you laid eyes on them. Lucy also thought back to the time when Jellal was evil, and her team had just finished destroying the Tower of Heaven. Erza had told Lucy that in her dream of her afterlife, she had seen Lucy crying at her funeral while hugging Gray.

That was all fine and well, but it also never actually happened. Lucy was pretty certain she would have been hugging Natsu in reality, definitely not Gray; it was like when he had comforted her in his arms after Eclair had died. The only difference was, that had actually happened. Sighing Lucy sunk back in her seat; the day had not been a good experience so far, not making any sense whatsoever.

If anyone liked that, I am planning to continue until I have covered most of the major cliches. Also you should check out my other oneshot that I recently posted on my profile!