Title: Better With You
Rating: T with potential for M (Will warn if it gets to that)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to Pretty Little Liars
Summary: After spending a large portion of their Summer apart, the girls are back together for their senior year at Rosewood High. Mona is in Radley, Garrett's been arrested, Maya is dead, and emotions still run high. Emily returns from Haiti in hopes to move past what she's been put through, and finds happiness in an unexpected place. A Spemily focused story with mentions of Ezria and Haleb. Storyline with "A" but not the main focus. The story follows the regular season one and two storyline, and begins after the opening scene of season three, however the night ends differently.
Chapter One – I Will Try To Fix You
Being alone at night should have been easy for Emily by now. She had gone the past 5 months alone, and tonight was no different. 5 months. Since her life had changed. 5 months. Since she had gotten a full nights rest. 5 months. Since Mona Vanderwaal was sent to Radley. 5 months. Since the love of her life was cruelly taken from her. Maya St. Germain, her first real everything. Although Ali had been her first kiss, Emily didn't count it. The feelings weren't reciprocated; rather Ali used her for her own game of manipulation. But Maya; she was the real deal. First real kiss, first girlfriend, first love, first time... Maya was the reason Emily was able to finally accept her sexuality. Although Toby had been the one to give her the courage to come out, Maya gave her the reason. And now, she was just gone. These were the thoughts that kept Emily up at night. 5 months later, a summer in Haiti, and Emily still had sleepless nights filled with thoughts of her.
Emily sat up in her spot on Spencer's couch, glancing over at the other girls who appeared to be asleep. She could feel the residual effects of the alcohol they had drank earlier that night, which caused a wave of nausea to pass the girl. Emily successfully fought off the feeling of sickness before quietly standing up to get a glass of water from the kitchen. The house was silent aside from the low hum of Hanna's light snoring. She glanced over at the girls once more while pouring the beverage she'd retrieved from the fridge. Emily admired and appreciated what her friends were trying to do. Having them all together before the start of senior year was what Emily needed to help push through the pain. Although none of them knew the extent to which Emily was still coping, they'd tried to be there for the girl as much as they could. And that was more than Emily could ever ask.
She let out a sigh as she placed her glass on the counter and sat down on the chair beside it. 12 AM. It would be at the very, very least, 7 hours until her friends woke up again. At least, until Spencer would probably be up. There were only so many things one could do with seven hours. Emily couldn't leave the house by herself to go for a walk; she didn't want the girls to worry. She couldn't watch TV either. The last thing she wanted to do was wake them up. Especially Hanna, who could barely function on less than 10 hours of sleep. With her go-to options nullified, Emily opted to just sit at the kitchen table, flipping through her favourite photos on her phone. Photos of Maya. Emily's eyes went to her favourite photo of all time; a picture that Hanna had candidly taken about 6 months ago when they'd all been hanging out together. Maya was laughing at something Emily had said. Something she couldn't even remember, but wished she did. And Emily was looking at Maya as if she were the greatest thing to have ever graced her life. As if Maya could move mountains. It was love; Emily looked at Maya with the most immense amount of love and affection. Stray tears fell down Emily's face as she tried to maintain her composure. She sniffled and tried to stop the tears. Emily let out a slight gasp as she felt two arms wrap around her from behind. She quickly turned around and was met with soft brown eyes shooting back at her. Emily immediately wrapped her arms around the figure in front of her and cried into the other girls shoulder.
"Sorry Em, I didn't mean to startle you. I just heard you, and I figured you could use a hug. Are you…? I mean do you want to talk about it?" Spencer whispered to the girl in her arms as she held Emily as close to her as possible. It had always killed Spencer to see Emily so down. The swimmer had been through so much already, and Maya's death was the pinnacle of it all. Usually Emily kept up a strong front of smiles, happiness and positivity. Seeing her look so... Broken; it broke her heart. Emily's breathing became erratic and Spencer was instantly concerned with her state of being.
"Can we..." Emily began before taking a deep breath. "Can we just... Go outside... I can't... I can't breathe..." Spencer nodded, and pulled the girl up into her arms. She held Emily to her side while leading her around the kitchen counter and to the side door of her house, grabbing the keys that hung beside the door right before they went outside. After locking the door behind them, the two girls began to walk down the sidewalk in silence. Spencer had her arm on Emily's back, softly rubbing it to try and gently soothe the girl while Emily focused on calming her breathing. Spencer didn't want to push the girl into talking; she knew that what Emily was dealing with wasn't something to pry into. After walking in silence for what seemed like hours but was actually only 10 minutes, Spencer heard Emily mumble incoherently.
"Sorry what was that, Em?" Spencer spoke softly, as to not spook her best friend. Emily finally looked up at her, eyes now bloodshot from all the tears. She gave Spencer a weak smile.
"I said thank you," Emily replied quietly. And she meant it. It was the first time since Maya's death that somebody didn't treat her like she was made of glass. Emily didn't need someone to wipe her tears away. She had hands to do that for herself. She didn't need someone to feed her. She could cook for herself. And she didn't need people walking on eggshells around her. She was 17, not 7. She wasn't going to break whenever people didn't treat her like a child. Right now Emily needed someone to treat her as an equal. And that's what Spencer was doing. She treated Emily like her best friend, not a baby.
"Anytime, Em. I mean it. I know we all haven't really been talking these past few months with you in Haiti, Aria doing her photography thing, my extra courses at Hollis and Hanna being, well... Hanna. But you're one of the most important people in my life. So if you need me, I'm here. Remember that," Spencer explained to her. Emily nodded in agreement. She was glad it had been Spencer that found her crying. If it were Hanna, she'd go all mother mode and start treating her like a 6 year old. And if it were Aria, she'd probably be crying more than Emily. But Spencer was the calm and rational one. She was exactly what Emily needed.
"I know, Spence. And if I ever need someone to talk to, believe me you'll be the first to know," Emily informed her. Spencer smiled and put her arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for a slight hug. The held this position as the continued to walk - now turning back towards Spencer's house. "So, how was your summer? Aside from classes, what'd you do?"
Spencer knew that this was Emily trying to steer the conversation in any direction but towards the topic of Maya. She knew it probably wasn't healthy for Emily to bottle everything up and avoid talking about it, but Spencer would play along anyways. The last thing she wanted was to upset Emily after just calming her down.
"Honestly, not much. I decided to take up some sort of musical art form to fill my spare time. Consequently I now know how to play the guitar, so... Yay for that," Spencer informed the girl. She looked up at Emily to see a slight smile on her face. "And aside from that, just tennis and field hockey training to pass the time. Melissa's been helping me."
"The great Spencer Hastings accepting help from Melissa? What does that even consist of, you two taking swings at each other?" Emily joked. It was no secret that the two Hastings siblings had an ongoing battle of out-perfecting one another. It didn't matter what the event was - tests, projects, boys, IQ, accomplishments, etc., the girls always had to one-up each other. Emily found it difficult to believe that that had all changed in just one summer.
"Yeah, actually we sometimes just get together and try to fight to the death using only our trophies and medals as weapons. So not only does she try to outshine me, she also needs to prove that her awards were built better too," Spencer sarcastically replied with an eye roll. Both girls let out a laugh, and Spencer smiled. It was the first laugh she'd truly heard Emily let out in what felt like forever. She missed it; she missed the girl's positive energy. She missed her best friend. "But honestly, ever since... Everything that happened," Spencer started, not wanting to bring direct memories back to the night of Maya's death. "She's been really great. Driving me wherever I need when I don't quite feel myself, staying at the house when my mom and dad are gone so that I'm not alone, she was even somewhat civil around Wren when I asked him if he could make a house call because I was feeling really sick a few times. I figure I should milk it for what it's worth before she starts hating me for some asinine reason."
Emily nodded in understanding. She had caught what Spencer had done; trying to shy away from anything pertaining to the night they discovered that Mona was A. She appreciated Spencer's semi-smooth transition away from the topic, as she too didn't want to discuss it any further. At this point, Emily was just happy that their stalker had been locked up and out of their lives.
"I'm glad to hear you and Melissa are finally getting along," Emily stated. The two girls looked at each other and shared a smile once again. Their eyes lingered on one another's, almost battling for who would drop their gaze first. Of course, it was Emily who felt the intensity between the two of them skyrocket, causing her to shyly look away from her best friend. Something changed in that moment. Emily felt it, and she was sure Spencer did too. Why were they suddenly nervous around each other? Emily shook the feeling and pushed it to the back of her mind. Her and Spencer kept walking in silence, coming close to the last stitch of sidewalk before Spencer's yard. "So you learned guitar, when are you gonna play for me?" Emily questioned as she shot Spencer a playful look.
"Hah. Try never. It was something I did because I was bored, but I think I'm going to let Aria stick to musical excellence," Spencer responded. She was usually very shy when it came to performing arts. Unless she was being tested or competing for something, she hardly ever showcased her talent. In fact, it took almost all of middle school before her best friends found out that she had been an avid piano player since the age of 4; a trait which both her and Melissa shared. "I don't play for audiences."
"Oh come on, Spence! It's just little old me," Emily joked. "Can't I have the pleasure of hearing you play just once? I bet you let Toby hear your play all the time."
The mention of Toby's name threw Spencer off the slightest bit. She fell out of step with Emily as they were coming up the path to her door. It was for a split second, but Emily noticed it, and stopped, turning to the girl.
"What was that?" Emily questioned. Spencer tried to play it cool; pretending like she had no idea what Emily was talking about.
"What was what?" Spencer replied, trying to keep a strong voice.
"You... Flinched or something when I mentioned Toby," Emily elaborated.
"No, I didn't," Spencer tried to argue, but she already knew it was a lost cause. Emily wouldn't let this go until Spencer talked.
"Yes, you did Spence. Are you guys okay?" Emily gently questioned, not wanting to seem as though she was forcing her best friend into a corner. Spencer looked to the ground, unsure of what to tell the girl. Emily stepped forward and took Spencer's hand in hers. "What is it, Spence?"
"We just... We broke up," Spencer finally let out. "Over the summer we broke up. You're the first person I've told about it," she explained. Emily's eyes widened at the revelation. The two of them seemed so in love, and perfect for each other.
"Do you mind if I ask why?" Emily softly asked. Spencer smiled to herself at Emily's caution towards the topic. The tables had turned and now Spencer understood what it was like for people to walk around on eggshells with her.
"I... I can't," Spencer told Emily. "It's uhm... Personal," she explained quietly. Emily squeezed her hand and led them around to the back door of Spencer's house from where they'd left.
"Y'know it's always good to talk, right?" Emily suggested. Spencer tried not to roll her eyes at the comment, but she failed. And Emily knew exactly why. She was the poster child for hypocrisy at this point, by telling Spencer to talk when she herself had yet to do so. "Okay, compromise. I talk, then you talk?"
Spencer considered her options. She knew it'd be beneficial for the both of them to finally talk, but her break up with Toby hadn't been over something rudimentary. It was big, and she didn't know that she was ready to reveal it to her friends. At the same time though, she'd been yearning to have Emily open up to her, and this was her chance. Weighing all her options, she finally nodded her head in agreement.
"Okay, Fields. You've got yourself a deal. Follow me," Spencer replied as she quietly opened the door to let herself and Emily back into the house. They quietly maneuvered through the house once more, trying to keep quiet, as Aria and Hanna remained sound asleep. Still hand in hand, Spencer led them upstairs. She was sure she didn't want Aria or Hanna to hear any of this, just as Emily was sure of the same thing. They'd hear it eventually, she was sure. But right now this was between her and Emily only, and Spencer wanted to keep it that way.
The two of them entered Spencer's room, and Spencer hopped on her bed as Emily quietly shut the door. She glanced down at her bedside clock; it was 3:30 AM. Still plenty of time before they'd expect both Aria and Hanna to wake up. Emily moved around the room, finally joining Spencer's side on her bed. Emily sat, her back against the headboard and knees drawn into her, as if she was curling into the fetal position. Spencer sat up so that she also leaned against the headboard, her slender legs stretched out as she hugged a pillow. She glanced at the swimmer, trying to read her emotions.
"You know, we don't have to do this. We can both remain blissfully unaware," Spencer offered. She didn't want to make Emily do anything she wasn't comfortable doing. Emily shook her head no. She wanted to talk about it, and she knew it'd feel good to finally let it out. Emily just didn't know what to say. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Spencer thought about if she should just call it a night. Her thoughts however were interrupted by a voice.
"I just... People think I'm so broken right now because I miss her so much. And while I do, that's not why I'm so broken. It's more because, well... It's my fault she's gone," Emily stated, her voice weak. "If I had just been... Better. Treated her better. Then she would have been with me that night, and not on her own. She would still be here."
"Em, you cannot blame yourself for that. That's a lot of weight you're baring on your shoulders right now that isn't true. Couples fight, but what happened to her... That could have happened at any time. And the fact that it was in your neighbourhood... Em that could have been you," Spencer told her, her voice slightly breaking as she let out that final thought. Because it could have been her. Some psycho murdered Maya right outside of Emily's house. Right outside of where Emily sleeps every single night. If it was Emily walking back to her house alone that night, she could have been gone with the blink of an eye. And that thought frightened the hell out of Spencer.
"It could have been me, but it wasn't. It was her who suffered for being involved with my life, Spence. It happened right outside of my house. Who do we know that just sits outside of people's houses? A. That's who. If her..." Emily trailed off, trying to keep her composure before continuing. "If Maya died, and was only found that night... Then what if Mona or one of her minions did this? What if Maya came to see me, and saw A instead? Think about it, Spence. If A is Ali's killer... If Mona or one of her workers was the one to kill Ali, and the one to kill Ian... They probably didn't even flinch at the thought of killing Maya. And now Maya is gone, forever. Because she was in the wrong place, trying to reach out to me," she finished. Tears welled up in her eyes, as Emily tried to force them not to fall. But the moment Spencer put her arms around her and pulled her in, Emily couldn't take it anymore. She let go, and she cried while Spencer held her close.
"Em, it was not your fault," she whispered. "If Mona did this, she's to blame. You weren't the one to kill her. She was. Not you, her. You loved Maya and you'd never do anything to hurt her. We all know that. It's not your fault." And by hearing Spencer say it, Emily finally started to believe it. She spent 5 months blaming herself for it. 5 months bottling up all of these emotions. 5 months hearing 'it's your fault' repeatedly in her mind. 5 months of nights where she unsuccessfully tried to drink those thoughts away. But finally hearing those four words out of someone else's mouth... It put her at ease. And so she cried. She cried for Maya. She cried for Maya's parents. She cried for herself. She cried because she finally began to feel free of all the pent up guilt. And between all the tears, heartache and acceptance, she did something she hadn't been able to do in 5 months. She slept through the night.
Spencer woke up the next morning to the feeling of vibrations next to her hands. She opened her eyes and found herself and Emily tangled up in each other. Her arms wrapped around Emily, spooning her. Spencer's left arm was underneath Emily's body and the same hand came out and was intertwined with Emily's right. Spencer's right arm was resting on Emily's side. She used her right arm to reach out for the phone that was next to their tangled bodies. Spencer made sure her movements were slow and gentle, as she didn't want to wake Emily who had finally fallen asleep after what seemed like hours of crying. Finally retrieving the phone, Spencer checked to see who was calling. It was Hanna. Instead of answering it, Spencer declined the call and sent Hanna a quick text.
'Em & I are upstairs. Will be down in 10'
After sending the text, Spencer put her phone down and moved her arm back to wear it was. She admired the girl who lay in her arms, taking note of small details she hadn't noticed before. Emily was beautiful in every right. From her voluminous, black locks of hair that always smelled like vanilla, to her legs that seemed to go on forever. She had the body of a swimmer, this Spencer knew for sure. And her beautifully tan skin was so perfectly soft. Spencer traced circles around the skin of her torso, an area that was exposed because Emily's shirt had ridden up slightly throughout the night.
"Mmm, that tickles," Emily softly let out. Spencer froze in her spot. She was caught admiring her best friend in a slightly more than friendly way. Spencer quickly stopped and pulled her hand away, unsure of what to do now. She felt Emily start to turn in her arms, so she eased her grip and allowed her to. In seconds, the two friends were face to face. Emily smiled shyly as Spencer looked away, embarrassed that she was caught admiring. "I didn't say stop," the swimmer let out. Spencer chuckled at her friend, thankful that she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.
"Sleep looks good on you, Em," Spencer complimented. Emily's facial demeanour looked so much better than yesterday. The bags under her eyes had dissipated, her face looked brighter and more alert, and she looked happier. Not forced, but genuinely happier.
"I guess that's what happens when you finally sleep an entire night," Emily explained. "Thank you, Spence."
"For what?" Spencer asked, genuinely confused. She didn't think she'd done anything special at all.
"I haven't slept a full night since that night. And I certainly haven't been able to even entertain the idea of Maya's death not being my fault. But then you came along with your Hastings touch and you fixed me. So thank you, for everything last night," Emily explained. She pulled herself up a little, her elbows now holding her up. The two girls locked eyes, and before she realized it, Emily leaned in and placed a light kiss on Spencer's cheek. "You're the best, Spence," she said shyly. Trying not to make the situation a big deal, Spencer smiled at her, and Emily rolled off of the bed, her back turned to Spencer as she stretched. Spencer reached to her face and held her hand where Emily just kissed. She could feel herself goofily smiling, and caught herself before Emily turned around to see it. Finally, Spencer also got off her bed and stole a quick glance at the clock. 11:30am; a solid 7 hours of sleep was fine by her.
"Hanna and Aria are waiting downstairs for us. Breakfast?" Spencer suggested. Emily's eyes lit up at the mention of food, and began nodding her head rapidly. Spencer let out a laugh at Emily's eagerness and opened her bedroom door, gesturing for the girl to lead the way.
Emily descended down the staircase with Spencer en suite. As they came to the bottom, they saw both Aria and Hanna sitting at the kitchen counter, their heads both resting on it. Spencer chuckled at the sight, which caused them both to shoot their heads up. Bad idea for someone with a hangover. They grabbed their heads and began moaning in pain.
"I'm never drinking again," Hanna stated groggily. Everyone looked at Hanna, knowing that wasn't actually true. "Okay, at least not for a little while," she corrected. Spencer walked over to a kitchen cabinet and took out some ibuprofen. Emily caught on to what she was doing and found two clean glasses, pouring water into each glass and then setting them down in front of Hanna and Aria.
"Here, this should do the trick," Spencer told them as she handed them two pills each. They took the pills and washed them down with the water Emily had poured.
"Thanks, you two. What were you guys doing upstairs anyways? I woke up and Emily was nowhere to be found," Aria spoke. The two girls briefly glanced at each other, and it was enough of a look to know that last night should be kept just between the two of them, for now. Emily thought on her feet of what to give as an explanation.
"I couldn't sleep, Hanna's snoring sounded like a monster truck rally," Emily explained as Hanna rolled her eyes.
"Okay I do not snore that loud! Maybe you just have like ferocious hearing," Hanna argued. The three girls looked at Hanna, confused as to what she meant.
"You mean, precocious hearing?" Spencer corrected as she raised her eyebrow at the blonde. Hanna rolled her eyes for the second time that morning. "Em's right though, you were pretty loud last night. I heard sounds from my bedroom so I went downstairs to see what it was from, and poor Emily was sitting in the kitchen trying to not to suffocate you with a pillow. So I offered to let her stay in my room," Spencer lied. Emily glanced over at Spencer once more, silently thanking her for not going into detail the other events of last night.
"Wow look at that. How awfully nice of you, Spencer. You sure Toby won't be jealous?" Aria joked. Spencer flinched again just barely, but enough for Emily to notice, like she had yesterday. Though it was inconspicuous enough for Aria and Hanna to not catch on. Spencer put on a fake smile and laughed at Aria's joke.
"No, I kept my hands to myself," Emily let out in a joking tone. She knew that Spencer owed her an explanation but for now, she was protecting the girl - just as Spencer had done for her.
"Well as much as I love to talk about where Emily puts her hands, I've got to go. Caleb and I have a lunch date," Hanna informed the group. She stood from the table, as did Aria.
"I've also got to head out. Ezra's back from New York in like an hour and I want to surprise him with one more date before school starts up tomorrow," Aria explained.
"Well, Em... I guess it's just the two of us. Wanna hang out?" Spencer told her. Emily nodded at the suggestion, happy at the thought of some more one on one time with the youngest Hastings.
"We'll see each other tomorrow though. Now that all this 'A' crap is done with, I can finally look forward to going to school again," Aria told the girls who nodded in agreement. Just as Hanna and Aria were about to leave, the sounds of vibrations and buzzers went off. All four girls froze in their spots; a feeling of déjà vu took over.
"It couldn't..." Hanna started.
"No, it won't be..." Spencer retorted.
"But what if..." Aria began.
"I'm sure it's nothing," Emily reiterated.
The four girls pulled out their phones. One new text. From Unknown. They opened the new message at once.
"A happy welcome back party for our fourth little liar," Emily read.
"I hope you girls didn't miss me too much," Hanna followed.
"Because I'm back, and I still know all your secrets," Spencer continued.
"Let the games begin, bitches," Aria finished, as they all saw from whom the text was signed.
"-A."
Now here's where I'm torn. I could do a purely Spemily storyline with no new A involved, OR I could do an A side plot but still with Spemily as the focus. Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments? Reviews?