Author's note: Hi everyone! It's been a long time since I had written any fanfiction and this is my first stab at Shameless. This is going to be a multi-chapter story it's mostly going to be a Lip introspective. I hope you all enjoy it. My chapter has some spoilers from the previews for tonight's episode 4.08, and some of my thoughts on what's going to happen. Please keep that in mind. I do not know until I see how tonight's episode goes if my story will continue to follow course with the rest of the season. I'm rating this story T for language, but please let me know if you think the rating should be changed higher? I'm also looking for a beta, so if anyone is interested, please DM me and let me know! Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything; Shameless is all the creation of John Wells and Paul Abbot. The story title was taken from Conor Oberst's song with the same title and the chapter from GroupLove's song off the Spreading Rumor's album. Again, I do not own anything.

You are your Mother's Child

Chapter 1: Sit Still

He had spent the last hour or so counting holes in the drop ceiling tiles above him. He had hoped it would eventually bore him enough to sleep. This had been the alternative to reading different chapters in his textbooks; he ended up getting ahead in his classes and no shuteye. It was the first night all the kids were back at the house with Fiona and Lip felt uneasy. He had tried getting comfortable numerous times in his bed, but he wound up tossing and turning. He was getting use to the lack of sleep, first from the all nighters he was pulling to stay on track in his classes, next waking up during the night to check on Liam, and now because he lost his ability to trust his older sister.

He ran his hands down his face in frustration. He reached for his phone lying next to him and saw he had six hours until his Monday morning class. He snapped his head back down on the pillow before letting out a heavy sigh. He didn't feel like he was nineteen, his sorry excuse for a family aged him, no he was definitely closer to thirty than twenty.

He said fuck it and got out of bed. Heading over to his hamper, he picked up the sack, laundry detergent, quarters, and keys before heading out the door. At least he wouldn't have to worry about someone taking his clothes out of the washer at this hour.

He made his way down the hallway to his floors laundry room. For being a freshman floor, and knowing that most of them were up all hours asserting their newfound independence it was surprisingly quieter than his house growing up ever had been. The door to the laundry room was opened a crack. He was surprised to see that he was not the only one doing laundry at this hour. The room was dark but the sound of two washing machines humming filled the room.

Normally he wouldn't have taken the time or cared to sort his clothes but he was in no rush and it was the first time he had his choice of machines. After starting the washers, he hopped up on a dryer. He probably should have brought a book to read or something to do but that had slipped his mind when he haphazardly scrambled out of his room at 3:16am. Lip would write this off due to lack of sleep. Even if he had the forethought to have brought something, he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on it.

All of his thoughts lead back to Liam and the care that Fiona was supposed to be supplying him, Carl, and Debbie. She was in a fragile state and he saw her disassociating from the family weeks after Steve had left the picture for a second time. He had pulled a Monica and left with no call or message. Lip shook his head. The last two years now Fiona was making questionable choices, gambling her paycheck away for a promotional bar night when the money should have gone to paying the property taxes, believing that Monica was sane enough to mother their siblings, leaving the squirrel fund unattended when she took up residence in the house, taking Steve back after he left just like their mother, letting Ian run away, cheating on her boyfriend with his drug addict brother and now leaving coke out for their four year old brother to get in.

He wasn't sure if the pressure of raising the five of them was causing her to unravel or if her failing relationship made her lose touch with reality, but she wasn't the same person he once looked up to.

Lip was a known hothead but these fights with Fiona had been the worst and most unbearable. It still haunts him when he thinks back to answering his phone and hearing he was receiving a call from Cook County Jail. It wasn't real for Lip until he got that call after seeing Liam tied down, with all those tubes hooked up to him. He never thought his sister would fall so far from grace. He was ready to make a clean break from her, as he did with Monica and tried to do with Frank. It was more difficult than with his parents because she had taken care of him since he could remember. The betrayal was worse than Monica leaving. The kids still trusted Fiona, not entirely but even still after this stint more than they had ever trusted their parents. He didn't have anyone to stand against her with him like how he stand with her against Frank and Monica.

If he could he would drop everything and take the kids away from her and become their guardians. But he knew better, he would do a good deal more for them if he stuck it out in college and got a degree than if he returned to Southside. Fiona didn't have complete guardianship of the kids anyway, it was joint with Frank and with his fathers ailing health it might be harder for him to get custody from her without Frank's support.

The only good thing to come from this was that Ian was back at home. With Ian there, there would be an extra set of eyes. That is, if he could kick the coke habit he seemed to have picked up after spending time with their mother and working at strip clubs in boys town. What was it with Gallagher's and coke?

Most people would not believe it if he had told them this, but besides pot, Lip had never touched drugs. He wasn't sure if it had to do with the fact he was born addicted to opiates since his mother had been using painkillers the entire time she was pregnant with him or from seeing his parents behavior growing up. He had easy access to the shit if he wanted it but he never messed around with it. And now after seeing Liam, he would never touch anything besides pot, ever.

The angry buzzer from the washer shook him from his thoughts. For the first time since he walked in the room, he took in his surroundings. The two washers that had been running when he entered had a calculus book and water bottle sitting on the one closest to the door. It amazed him that anyone that lived in Chicago would feel comfortable with just leaving their belongs in common areas. Didn't they know that's the quickest and most surefire way to get your shit jacked? He could sell that book back to the university for profit.

Lip dropped to his feet and made his way over to the book. He still hadn't decided if he would steal it, but he could at least read to pass the time. He had already burned bridges with Ron and he waking him up before five am would probably result in an ass kicking he deserved.

"Step away from the washer, I have mace and I will use it," a voice came from behind him.

Lip turned on a dime; book still in hand, to face the offended coed. Her arms were out stretched with what would appear to the untrained eye as a handgun, but he knew better.

"Easy there Cagney," He smirked.

"Listen up asshole, I'm going to contact campus security," She threatened or warned, Lip wasn't all together sure.

Normally when he was accused, falsely or otherwise for anything he would flee, but the girl seemed harmless sans for the mace gun she had in her hand and the fact she was blocking the doorway. He could overpower her if he needed to but he didn't think it was necessary.

"I didn't realize there were stand your ground laws on campus for someone looking at a textbook left in common area," He retorted before dropping the book back onto the top of the washer.

"What?" confusion was etched on her face, and he saw her thumb shift the button on the back of the handle up.

"I'm not sure if you realize this but you are living in Chicago now, you can't just leave your stuff unattended," Lip retreated back to his original spot, sitting on the dryer.

"So you weren't trying to jack my underwear?" She asked dropping the gun to her side and entering the room.

Lip laughed, probably for the first time in months. He couldn't hold it back. "I hate underwear, just an extra layer of clothing I have to get through"

"Pretty cocky for the kid that got shot down by Shelley," She said more to herself, as she went through the washer. "It's still all here, either you are my underwear snatcher and didn't get enough time with the clothes, or you are telling the truth,"

"First you come in here guns blazing, treating me like some kind of pervert klepto, and then you make a comment about me and Shelley? Your boarding on stalker status, are you going to have a psychotic break? Do I need to get out of here before you charge me with sexual assult?" He dropped again from the dryer, confrontationally walking into her space.

She turned to face him "First of all it's Shelley and I, and secondly I am her sorority sister. I was there at the party, and like all the other girls, saw you get rejected by her and Robyn," she picked out the clothes from the washer and moved them to the nearest dryer, and then went back to the second washer.

"Are all you sorority girls cunts?"

"Excuse me?" She turned and gave him her full attention now.

"All of you act holier than thou, in all my interactions with any of you. It's like collectively you have sticks from the same tree shoved up your bleached assholes,"

She laughed, which really threw Lip off his footing. He was sick of dealing with these spoiled rich girl types, that only he had the misfortunate of associating with. Were there no other girls on campus that didn't belong to pi beta omega?

"Your quick kid, I'll give you that. But the 'swagger' you learned from the shithole you crawled out of, will not work on girls that go here. And not because of the sticks in our bleached assholes, but because we have more self respect and determination than those ratchet chicks you are used to using as your slam pieces," She smiled at him and than turned to start both of her dryers and sat on top of one of her once occupied washers.

He wanted to retort but he knew he was out of his league. He was used to the Southside girls calling him on bullshit, but these girls were speaking a different language than what he was used to. Everything here, school, the girls, his day to day were such a shock to his system. So he stood in place uncomfortably in his skin. He had this uneasy feeling since he got to campus but he hadn't gotten used to it.

"So why are you doing laundry at this hour?"

His eyes did a quick scan of the room; she was still the only person there. He turned and leaned against the machine behind him.

"If you are afraid of someone snatching your panties, why did you leave the machine unattended?" He countered.

"I needed to use the bathroom, and I figured that since it was three in the morning, I wouldn't have to worry about it," She shrugged.

"So does this happen on a regular basis?"

"About every time I was doing my laundry. So I started trying to do it at random times, or times when I thought the least amount of people would be doing laundry. Wednesday afternoons, Sunday nights, Friday mornings,"

"Who did you piss off?"

"Besides you? No one," She pulled out her phone from her pocket and frowned. "Shit, I forgot"

"Forgot?"

"Well from all adrenaline fueled anger of our encounter, I forgot…when I was in the bathroom, I dropped my phone in the sink. It's dead, that's why I was gone for so long,"

"Let me see it,"

She looked at him curiously but handed it over anyway. Lip took the iphone from her and tried pressing the power button. As he expected it didn't turn on.

"I read that if you put in rice overnight, you might be able to save it," He handed it back to her.

"Thanks, I'll have to try that," she responded sheepishly

"So how were you going to call campus police with a dead phone?" He smirked and she rolled her eyes.

"You still haven't answered my question," She retorted.

"Family stuff,"

She nodded her head, not pressing for any other information.

"I'm sorry, that I accused you of…"She started to apologize but he waved it off.

He was used to it, where he grew up, you were guilty until proven innocent.

"Don't worry about it, " he was going to continue but his washer buzzed. Changing his clothes over he was about to start the dryer when she stopped him.

"Don't you use dryer sheets?"

"In my family, that's considered a luxury item,"

"Here, use mine," She tossed the box to him.

"Thanks," He responded taking two out.

"You can keep it,"

"I don't need your charity," He frowned.

"It's not charity it's a partially used box of drier sheet, I'm a college student. I don't have much myself. I'm just trying to do something nice okay? Not all sorority girls are cunts," she winked.

"You're right, just uptight and high maintenance,"

"Not high maintenance, high quality," she quipped back.

"Highly delusional,"

"Aw, don't talk about yourself like that,"

"Case and point,"

"Beth! There you are, I've been looking for you," an unfamiliar voice filled the room. Both turned their heads to see the intruder.

"Oh hey, what's going on?" The girl that had been sharing the room with him for the last half an hour responded.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" The guy asked her.

Beth looked over at Lip, but her expression was unreadable to him.

"Sure," She hopped off her washer with her book and water bottle. But before she left she turned to him.

"It was nice to meet you," Her voice filled with earnest.

"Thanks for the dryer sheets," He responded.

"I'll see you around,"

"Lip," He told her.

She quirked her eyebrow at him but nodded, just as she had when he told her his purpose for doing laundry at the ungodly hour.

"I'll defend your underwear from wrongful doers," He called after her.

She turned around at the doorway and smiled at him "Thanks, see you around Lip,"

He watched her leave and felt a slight remorse. He was alone again, just like he had been pretty much his entire time since he got to school. She made him not feel so alone. Maybe he needed to let his guard down with people more often?

Lip shook his head. Who was this person? What was this feeling, the feeling that was pooling in the pit of his stomach? Hope? This was one thing that he hadn't felt in a long time. It was something he had cautioned Carl and Debbie about every time Frank or Monica planted that idea in their heads. Getting hope from another person was never a good idea. People always will let you down. That's the first thing he learned as a child, and that's the only constant he believed. Frank, Monica, Karen, Fiona, all let him down. Once you let your guard down you are setting yourself up for failure. No, fuck that, he was better off alone. It's the only way he would survive.