Disclaimer: I do not own the minions or Gru or any of the characters used in this non-profit piece of fiction
Warning: Spoilers for the movie. Unbeta'd.
He was despicable. So they followed him, wherever he went. Using the trail of dust left behind his aircraft, the remaining frost of the freeze ray, or the tiny fibre pulled loose from his scarf, the minion tribe followed the mysterious boy across the skies, land, and sea, never stopping. That's not to say it wasn't difficult – the number of banana stores they'd robbed just to stay alive was uncountable! But Kevin led them, so they all knew it would turn out all right in the end, and now they were finally here; a strange house on a strange street in a strange town in a strange country. It was all very strange.
They crept to the window and peeked in – a thousand pairs of eyes pressed up against the glass. Inside there he was, their wondrous young master, holding the results of his latest evil deed high into the air like a trophy. The minions were entranced. In particular, Kevin was proud of himself.
"Hey mom! I'm back from my trip."
A woman was lounging in a chair by the fireplace, reading a book. She glanced up over the top of her glasses and lifted her nose at the strange noise she heard which she thought was a bird stuck in the chimney - she was going to lean forwards and turn up the fire - but then she realised that, no, it wasn't a pesky bird she could roast for dinner, it was in fact her son who was indeed pesky but could not be roasted for dinner because she doubted that he didn't taste very nice - he wasn't useful for anything, how dare he.
"Ock, it's you, Gru." She looked back down at her book again. "Aren't you leaving for England?"
"I just got back mom, and look – I stole the crown jewels!"
"Ehh…"
"Oh and after that I robbed the Nixons and got you this necklace!"
"Eh."
"I also sank two submarines into the Mediterranean, rigged the Winter Olympics in France, froze the river during a rowin' competition, stole a baby's candy…"
"Eh."
"… shot darts at a balloon salesman, pushed a group of nuns into a whorehouse…"
"Eh."
"…and bought Italian for dinner!"
The mother paused, looking up from her book. Gru beamed at her. She adjusted her glasses, cleared her throat and said, "Ehhhhhhh..." before returning to her book.
Gru scowled and clenched his fists. He threw down the things he brought home and stormed off, thinking that his mother would never think to call him back or even watch him go, that no one was watching him leave, but of course he was fully unaware of the thousands of admiring eyes that were doing just that.
"Boss, boss!" Kevin cried.
The minions nodded and agreed eagerly. They wandered over to the front door, all them pushing and shoving to fit on the porch. Kevin scowled, waving his hands to tell them to calm down. The minions yapped and punched and shoved, and Kevin rolled his eyes.
"Stupa, stupa!" he demanded, "Tokas aw aka!"
The minions went quiet, although a couple of them were talking nervously. Bob was shaking from nervous excitement and Larry was muttering suspicious doubts to Carl - Kevin, who saw him as leader until they got their new master, would have to discuss this with him later - and Norbert was looking in the complete wrong direction, but he was an idiot so no surprises there.
Kevin pointed to the doorbell. "Bbbrriiing, bbbrrriiiiinnnnnggg!" he said and the minions nodded, hardly able to contain their excitement, but when Kevin tried to reach the doorbell, he was much too short. He demanded that Stuart helped him. Stuart, sighing, marched over and let Kevin stand on his head while he rang doorbell.
A moment later, the door opened. Losing his balance, Kevin fell and landed with a cry at the feet of whoever had answered the door. He looked up.
"Er…can I help you?"
It was their master. The minions all stared at him with dazzled eyes. No one said anything.
Gru raised an eye brow. "Oookkaaay." He looked at Kevin, whose mouth was wide open, struggling to say something. "Hey aren't you that…thing…" he looked him up and down and decided that, yes, 'thing' was a good word. Gru grimaced. "Uh-kay. …I saw you in England."
Kevin tried to speak but couldn't.
"Boss!" one of the minions yelled and a couple of them cheered.
"Gru!" called Gru's mother from inside the house, "Who is it? What do they want? Will they take you away?"
Gru hesitated. "Errrr…Some British people are here to see us…probably…"
Kevin snapped out of his trance. "Oh, oh!" he declared, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wallet that had the ID's of all the minions. He gave this to Gru.
"What is this?" Gru took it wordlessly and blinked when all the cards spilled out. "Uh..." he from the crowd, to the cards, to the crowd, to the cards again. "Well this is useless – you all look the same!"
Kevin blinked in surprise. "Er…Tatata Kevin."
"…Kevin?" Gru raised an eyebrow, and Kevin laughed nervously. Their new master didn't seem very impressed with their efforts. Kevin wasn't sure how to rectify the situation. Maybe if they blew something up? "Well, Kevin, I, er…don't really care about you or anything and I'm not interested in tea or whatever British people do so goodbye now! Don't come back!"
He slammed the door in their face.
Kevin was stunned! That had never happened to them before! All of their masters were very willing to have them along (even though most of these were large animals they happened to follow around and the animals didn't really do much when they realised that they couldn't eat the minions) Kevin thought about this and suddenly thought – was this master simply too bad? He'd never considered this fact before, but this boy did outwit the greatest villain of all time but – NO! This only increased Kevin's determination to have this boy as their tribe's master.
The other minions, however, were not as driven as Kevin. Bob started crying the instant the door was shut. Harry, looking sad but trying to hide it, patted him gently on the shoulder. One by one, the group gave wistful sighs, dipped their heads and turned away – all except Kevin, who punched Stuart when he tried to pry him off the porch.
Stuart fell face on his goggles and growled. "Hey! What tos pak for?!"
"Stupa!" Kevin called after the other minions. He raised his arms in the air and, somewhat reluctantly, the heartbroken minions glanced back at him. They'd come this far, he told them, and he wouldn't let them give up so easily – no matter what, they needed a master, and they were going to have that disciple little boy as their master!
Kevin pointed to the house. It was tall and loomed above them. Over the porch a roof hung, and there was a tall tree beside that. Above the porch, two windows could be seen on the second floor. They had a drainage pipe running between them to where the house met the garden. The windowsill on each were very large, big enough for a minion to stand on. On the other hand, the locks on the window looked complicated for minions.
The road leading up to the house was cobbled, but some of the bricks were loose and could be easily pulled up. The grass was dry and prickly and covered in dead weeds. There was a battered old tent by the fence, and long bamboo sticks laying in what may have been a flower bed if there were any flowers. Kevin looked at all these things and nodded to himself:
It was time to break in.
A.N: How they break in is up to you. Have fun.