*Cough* Hi. So, this is a little idea that has been in my head for weeks. I've been trying to weasel it on my friend, to no avail, just to come full circle and to finally type it up. I have it all in my head, so it shouldn't take too long to type this, but I am sick, it's going up and down, Saturday I was feeling better, and Sunday I threw up twice. It's hard to breathe while I'm lying down because I have a stuffed nose and I have stuff in my throat too. My stomach is bothering me now, too. I'm miserable. Welp, anyways, this is a story where Nick and Jeff are… well, they're fuck buddies, nothing more. And basically, Nick develops feeling for Jeff, and Jeff gets a boyfriend, but still wants to do the things with Nick he did before. Let's just say, it seems like it can't end well. So this was a long and drawn out Author's note, but I felt as if I should tell you guys the whole background, because some of you may think this relates to the other story, but it has no relation, what so ever.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, or the characters, or the lyrics to Set Fire to the Rain.
Third Person
My Hands, they're strong, but my knees
Were far too weak
To stand in your arms without
Falling to your feet
Nick paced the room, thinking back to the time he and Jeff had been friends, until Nick got drunk one time, and Jeff got him in bed. When Jeff had told him the next morning, he knew there was no way they could be friends still. But he remembered a part of the previous night. He remembered the pleasure that had gone through his body. He knew he wanted to feel it again, but he didn't want it from his former friend who had taken advantage of him. They came with a compromise; every other night, they'd meet in one of their dorms, but the other nights they could go back like they still hated each other. This wasn't true, of course. Jeff had had a slight hope they'd still be able to be friends, but after almost a year, he gave up.
It'd been hard on them. They shared most classes that year, and they were lab partners so they had to tolerate each other for at least an hour when they weren't having sex. Their faces were stony, hating every second of biology, and wishing they were brave enough to ask their teacher to switch. They'd sit on the edges of their chairs, away from each other, avoiding the opposite as much as humanly possible. They'd cringe if they accidently touched while using the microscope, mostly because it reminded them of the night that had changed their relationship, the accidental touching that lead too far. Nick didn't want that to happen again, their hands accidently to touch, and maybe they'd meet each other's eyes and he'd just remember the pain from when Jeff had told him what had happened. The only time Jeff was allowed near Nick when not in Biology was when they were in bed. Nick would wake up and Jeff would be gone, or vice-versa.
This lasted for almost sixteen months, before Nick talked to Blaine about the whole situation between them. This was around the time Nick would see another boy walking with Jeff to lunch, or to his dorm. It wasn't like he was watching him, but the convenience that they had dorms next to each other and the same schedules, it was pretty easy to figure out there was someone new that had caught his ex-friend attention enough for them to go to his dorm. No one went to Jeff's dorm, no one except Nick that is at least. Not because he didn't want them to, but mainly because after they heard what happened with Nick and himself, they thought if they went it there, they might not come out the same condition they were in beforehand. Nick didn't know the kid; all he knew was that Jeff had replaced him in that spot that was once reserved for him, and only him.
This rubbed Nick the wrong way, and he didn't know why. He didn't mind being replaced, it more the fact what they could have done in that room he had once taken cover in from the terrors of his life. Someone else could be doing the same thing he had done, but Nick didn't want there to be another person for Jeff to turn to on nights when there was nothing to do at the school. He felt like he'd be left. He didn't understand, for he should have wanted to be left behind the person who'd done something to him when he was drunk. He wanted to let go, to finally forget what happened that night. He knew it was impossible, but he wanted it so badly. He also felt something else. A feeling as if even if Jeff and he had stopped talking all together, he knew he'd feel empty, as if a part of him was now gone, a part that he had once needed. A part that he had once relied on during all of the times when things had gotten so hard he'd broke down crying because the words hurt so much.
He had told Blaine this, and the former Warbler had proposed something that was completely preposterous. His word were clear, but Nick still had him repeat it, just to make sure that he wasn't going insane and that Blaine had turned into an alien or something, he asked to make sure that the words he spoke were actual English. The fact that Blaine, the person who he thought he could always trust, was saying that Nick was in love with Jeff. He explained that the reason he felt so jealous was that he had always wanted something more than just sex, and when he saw that someone else might be getting that and it wasn't him drove him to the point where he felt as if he had false hope in being forgotten. Nick didn't want to be forgotten, at least not by Jeff. Not at that point. He felt as if, even though they were friends for three years before, they were closer than he thought imaginable.
That's why, at midnight on Friday, Nick stood awake, unable to get the sounds from the next room to leave his head, the screams, the groans, the whines, everything that he had once done under the same person, but not from himself. It wasn't Nick who Jeff was making scream and writhe in pleasure, but somebody else. And that hurt the most of all. A tear slipped down his cheek as he could no longer hold it back. He was jealous, he wanted to be the only person Jeff could do that to, and most of all, he knew that Blaine was right. He had fallen in love a person that was supposed to be the villain, the vampire, the murderer that hid in the shower while you get ready for bed. He was not supposed to be the person that Nick loved. He wasn't supposed to be the hero, the knight in shining armor, or the cop that saved you at the last second from being killed. He wasn't supposed to be this boy that Nick would fall head over heels for, nor would he be the villain that plotted your destruction silently. He was Jeff. And Nick couldn't understand why he couldn't see that before. Why he couldn't tell that this person he is just now seeing, just now realizing there was no reason to hide from, wasn't evil but wasn't a hero either. HE was just himself. The boy he'd been that night Nick had gotten drunk, the boy he'd met in eight grade after he'd moved from California.
But Nick knew he was too late; there was no way that Jeff saw him as just Nick, he saw him as his toy, the person he could go to if having a dry spell. Nick was nothing special to Jeff, just a pawn in his game and he was the part and he played it so well. He could care less what Nick did, much less felt about him. But that's where he was wrong.
The knock on his door was faint, but there. He shuffled to the door and opened it slowly to reveal a depressed looking Jeff. His eyes were red, his hands tightly clenched into fists, his nose red and stuffed. Nick knew he shouldn't let him in, but he did anyways. It seemed as if for once, Jeff needed him.
"Thank you. I know I don't deserve any sympathy from you, at all, but this is the only place I could go. I needed someone to talk to." Jeff looked at the floor momentarily before continuing. "It seems weird, you know? It's weird trying to talk normally when in actuality I'm the one who screwed everything up between us. I shouldn't have done that, and I know it. And some people say they would change it, but I wouldn't. That would mean I wouldn't be here. The only thing that's kept me hanging on this world since that night has been looking forward to seeing you at least a few nights a week without you being completely disgusted by me. I ruined everything. I just wanted things to be normal again. But it can't be, because of me." A tear slipped down Jeff's cheek and he shook his head, heading out the door that was already open. The door Nick wished he had closed.
I wanted it to be 2,000 words, but 1,500 is close enough, so, there may be an epilogue, but as of late, it's so-and-so with my writing. I'm getting my description back, finally, I lost in the hiatus between the two stories I wrote before. So, if you like, review, favorite or whatever, all it does is show your support. :)