What Would Have Been
Hoof beats echoed through out the main courtyard, as a horse laden in golden tack came to a sudden halt. The emperor's herald jumped off the horse and ran up the stairs to the colossal oak doors and knocked franticly. Commodus stared down at the scene below with a morose look upon his face. While he watched the herald hand two letters to the servant, a cold-dreaded feeling came over him, knowing he would be reading his father's letter momentarily. A few moments later a light tapping noise came to his chamber door. He knew it would be Lucilla with his father's scorning words.
"Enter," he uttered.
Lucilla walked in with grace and beauty about her that seemed to always to brighten a room up.
" Father has sent us-"
"I know," he cut her off short. "I saw father's herald."
He snatched the parchment from her hand after she had promptly held it out for him, then trudged to the balcony. She followed him not willing to be dismissed so easily.
"What troubles you my brother?"
"Do you trust father will make me emperor one day?"
"I do recall you being heir to the throne, Commodus. It is not so much as truth as it is tradition. You will be emperor someday, there is no doubt in that. The true question my brother is will you be just."
"Things are compelled to change when I rule. For I can not take politics, philosophy, and war like father can. He makes things so complicated. One day I will make things less complicated. If…" he paused as if searching for the right words."…no, not if but when, when I do, will you be by my side as you are right now?"
"We are siblings, you know the answer as well as I," she said as she hurried off trying to escape another inquisition.
A little smirk came across Commodus's face as he thought of his sister's reply. He then sat down on a marble bench that was on the balcony, and just stared at the letter not daring to open it. He looked around making sure no one was near as if he were opening some dark secret that could not be seen by any one but him. Commodus slowly broke the seal on the envelope and began to pour over the words.
"The days grow long and weary, and my time is beginning to fade. Your time to do your duty for Rome is growing closer. All great emperors of the past possessed the Fourteen Virtues: Wisdom, Justice, Fortitude, Temperance…"
The sound of his father's voice echoing through his mind was too much to bear as he crumpled up the paper. Dropping the letter a single tear ran down his cheek, and anger boiled up inside of him like he had never felt before. His tear filled eyes lifted to the slowly darkening city under the drowning sunset. Something deep within him died in the mist of that sunset, something that would not wake the next passing day. His soul.
Lucilla tore her eyes away from the sinking sun and returned her attention back to the letter. She smiled down at the warmly accepted letter in anticipation of reading her father's kind words, and any news he might have of Maximus. As she opened the letter she felt little butterflies tickle her stomach. 'What do I have to be nervous for?' she thought. But deep down she knew that the thought of Maximus always did this to her.
" My lovely daughter Lucilla,
The cold, and harshness of the battlefields have made me think of you. Made me think that your hope and beauty cannot be ruined by a war. I pray that all is well with you and your brother. I have written to announce that a banquet held in Maximus's name will given by the next full moon. He speaks of you often and hopes you will share in his triumph…"
When she finished the letter she giggled, and felt her cheeks turn crimson.
"Maximus," she said as she sighed. At this moment Commodus, who was coming to talk about how he had been so badly hurt, heard her speak Maximus's name. A twinge of jealousy hit his already pained heart. He walked in to her bedchamber and cleared his throat to announce his presence. She jumped and tried to conceal the letter, and her thoughts from her brother.
"What did father write to you about?" he inquired seeing if he could find out why she was so enthralled with Maximus.
"They are having a banquet and he would like us to attend, I think we should go," she said still a little flustered.
"Did he mention if there has been any progress with the war?"
"Yes, they won the first battle and expect another soon and…" she trailed off not sure if she should finish, "Maximus is being honored, and is receiving the rank of Primus Pilus."
"Well I just came to wish you a goodnight," he said acting like he hadn't heard the last part of her sentence. He walked towards her to give her a kiss, but she took a step back from him. He leaned in to kiss her lips, but she turned her head and he was forced to kiss her cheek. She closed her eyes and shuttered, as he turned and left for the night.
"He has been acting so strange lately," Lucilla said to her self as she sat on her bed and thought about Commodus. Her servant came in and started to prepare things for Lucilla to go to bed.
"My Lady, are you ready to retire for the night?" the servant asked.
"Nearly," she said and walked to a window, where moonlight was seeping through sheer drapes. She stared up at the waxing moon and all her thoughts of Commodus vanished. Seeing the moon made her think yet again of Maximus and how badly she wished to see him.
Maximus stepped out of his tent and the moon caught his gaze. Lucilla's face danced through his mind and teased him. He couldn't wait to see her either, but did not let it show so easily. It had been some time since he had seen her last, but the mention of her name made his heart race with indescribable excitement. A smile grew across his face, as he stole one last glance at the glistening moon. He walked over to a fire where some of his fellow soldiers were sitting. He sat down, stared deeply into the fire, and pretended to be involved with the conversation.