"Kotoko, I'm gonna catch you" My mom was playfully around chasing me in our backyard.

"No, Mommy!" I laughed while running away.

I maneuvered her attempts to catch while we were running.

"Gotcha!" She picked me up giving me raspberry kisses.

She hugged me tight to her and pulled away slightly to look at me.

"Who's Mommy's little angel?" She asked smiling at me.

I raised both arms up. "Me!" I cheered.

"That's right!" She walked us both inside the house to the kitchen to make her famous chocolate chip cookies. The only thing my dad said she cook.

Next flashback…

"I love the rain" Mom stared out the window.

"Why, Mommy?" I asked curiously.

"It helps give life to the Earth" she looked at me smiling.

"Kotoko! Kotoko!" A hand was waving in front of my face.

I snapped out of it and looked behind me.

Naoki, my husband, was standing behind me with a worried look on his face.

"Huh?" I asked.

His facial expression turned serious when he crossed his arms.

"I was telling you the cookies are done."

Realization hit me. "Oh I'm sorry!"

I put on the oven mittens and got the fresh baked cookies out of the oven.

I wiped my hands on my apron.

I forgot I was baking cookies for everyone on Christmas today. Like my Mom, it was the only thing I could make. My dad found my mom's recipe somewhere in the restaurant, when we thought it was lost in the destruction of our house.

"I'll go get the milk out of the fridge and I'll meet you in the family room."

Before I could turn around to get milk from the fridge, Naoki reached his finger out and rubbed his finger under my eye. I didn't know was crying.

I quickly wiped my face. "Sorry I didn't know I was crying. I get emotional during the holidays." I sounded ashamed, ready for Naoki to make fun of my childishness.

I got milk out the fridge and was about to put the glasses. Naoki pulled me into his arms.

"You were thinking about her, weren't you?" I never had to guess who he was referring to.

I broke down in tears when I nodded. "I really she was here, I miss her so much" I hugged him back crying so hard. He rubbed my head soothingly.

When I felt my dad's hand on my shoulder I figured everyone else was in the kitchen, but I didn't care at that moment. I just let myself be comforted in my husband's arms.

No matter how long it's the hole in my heart after losing my mom still feels painful.

.