I decided to do a Black Lagoon Halloween short, thank you Draco38 for the suggestion! I wanted this to be done before Friday so you all could read it during Halloween but that didn't happen because: SCHOOL. Buzzkill, I know. But I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. This was really fun to write and I'm so glad there are more holidays so I have an excuse to do more! Yay!
. . .
"Country…hey Country…" Now who'd be responsible fer awakin' me from mah nap on tha porch couch? Ah swear, if it's Revy pretendin' to shoot me again…
"Oh. Why, hello Frederica." Ah sat up an' saw one of tha most excited looks Ah'd ever seen on her face. "Fancy seein' you here. What's new pussycat?"
"Guess what…holiday is…coming up!" She said in as close to ah sing-song voice as she could git.
"Well, Ah already had tha 4th of July… too early yet fer Thanksgivin'….Ah'd have to put mah money on…All Hallow's Eve."
"Halloween! Halloween! It's Halloween this Friday!" She cheered an' sat with me on tha couch, bouncin' on tha cushions with enthusiasm. "My favorite…holiday of them all!"
"Yah don' say? So we gonna have ah party, git dressed up?"
"Tch! Duh, of course!" She looked at me sideways suspiciously, smirkin' with raised eyebrows. "Seriously, Halloween without…a party…and costumes? I wonder…about you…some days."
"Hee-hee, some days Ah wonder 'bout you too…" Ah pulled her over to me so her back was to mah chest an' her rear end was parked on mah lap. "Are we gonna go git us some tricks or treats too?" Ah asked, kissin' her neck jest below her ear an' she shivered. Oh, ticklish spots are so much fun.
"Well…if you play…your cards right…" She smiled, runnin' her tongue 'cross her lips. "You just…might get…both."
"Country, Country!" Tha Twins called from inside tha house, searchin' fer me. "Where are you?"
"Out here!" The way they came flyin' out Ah thought they were gonna pull tha screen door off its hinges gittin' it open. They were beside themselves with excitement, hoppin' up an' down like cats on ah hot tin roof. "Wha's tha occasion, where's tha fire?"
"We just looked at the calendar and saw it's Halloween on Friday!" Hansel explained.
"Right, so what's gotcha so up-beat 'bout it?"
"We've never gotten to go trick-or-treating before." Gretel said, on tha verge of hyperventilatin'. "Canwegocanwegocanwego…?!"
"Hold up there Seabiscuit! Of course we're gonna go trick-or-treatin'!" Ah got Gretel to stop 'fore she passed out from lack ah air. "Y'all got ideas fer costumes yet?"
"We want to be vampires!" They exclaimed; barin' their teeth an' Ah was surprised to see jest how sharp their teeth actually were. They wouldn' even need tha plastic fangs. Nature had set 'em up with neck-chompin' pearly whites of their own.
"I think…that would be…perfect." Frederica agreed, standin' up an' lookin' Tha Twins over. "Yes…I have some material…that could be sewn…into capes." She cupped Hansel's face in her hands, studyin' his visage. "Some white face paint…extra dark around the eyes…I think you two…were made to dress…as creatures…of the night."
"Now if yah can only figger out how to turn into bats." Ah rolled off tha couch an' got up. "Ah think that'd be really somethin'. Well, we'd better let tha rest of tha gang in on this an' see if they'll wanna go too."
"Why wouldn't they?" Frederica asked like tha idea of tha rest of Lagoon not playin' along was blasphemous. "Who could…pass up…the chance to dress up…on Halloween?"
. . .
"I like the idea, but I'm not dressing up." Dutch declared and folded his arms defiantly on his chest.
"Why not?" Gretel asked. "You're not embarrassed are you?"
"No. Country just said we should dress as things that scare us and that doesn't work for me."
"What do you mean by that?" Revy asked.
"It means that nothing scares me." He answered like that would settle the matter.
"Ah'm sure we can make an exception in yer case." Country offered as a compromise. "Wear whatever yah want, full artistic license."
"Please Dutch, everyone will be dressing up." The Twins were giving him their best puppy look. Two pairs of big, bright blue eyes stared at him from across the kitchen table, trying to break through the wall that was his sunglasses. A few moments of silence passed and a small crack appeared in the wall. "We don't want you to be left out."
"…Alright. If it will stop you nagging me about it."
. . .
Lagoon Company separated and went out to start work on their costumes. It was only Monday, so they had a few days to think about it. The challenge was to dress as something that scared them except for Hansel, Gretel and Dutch of course. In the meantime, Rock called ahead to Bao and told him to expect a very large crowd Friday night. The keeper of The Yellow Flag was already miles ahead of him.
"I kinda figured you kids would be up to something. You play enough tricks already as it is; just now you have an excuse. I've got a bunch of food coming in, pumpkin rum, a few cases of Bloody Mary mix, the whole nine yards. This ain't my first Halloween yah know."
"It certainly sounds like it. You really do know your stuff Bao. Oh, are you going to be dressing up? We're trying to wear things that scare us."
"Eh, I think I'm a little too mature to be seen in a costume. What're you wearing?"
"I'll be a character from a famous horror film. A friend of mine had one of the movies when I was about ten; we watched it with friends from school one night. I spent the rest of the night in curled in a ball under the covers, telling myself it was 'just a movie' and jumping at every creak of the house. I won't say which one though, you'll find out Friday."
"If you say so Rock. Well I've got some work to do around the place, gotta get Flora's girls up to speed and see what they have in mind."
"Okay, I'll let you get to it. Oh, and one last thing. Even Dutch is dressing up."
"He is, really? Stress of dealing with you hooligans must be getting to him... okay."
"Okay what?"
"I'll dress up too."
. . .
"Oh, a party? That sounds like fun." Balalaika said. "Costumes too?"
"W'all of course! Wouldn' be Halloween without costumes." Country boomed over the phone. "We're doin' stuff tha scares us, but yer welcome to whatever yah wanna do Ah 'spose."
"Well I'd love to come to the party, but I don't know about dressing up…"
"Dutch is…"
"I'll call Chang and see if he has any ideas."
. . .
"Let's see…what scares me…what scares me?" Revy was sitting at the kitchen table with a list of crossed out ideas in front of her. She wanted to do something that fit the theme but wasn't stupid either. Eda was sure to have a good costume, Shenhua too and she would be damned if those two bitches would upstage her! She looked down at her list; the ideas were all crossed out because they had initially seemed scary. But, then she thought about what she'd do if she were to meet any of them. The answer was always the same: Shoot it in the face. The idea worked on everything; werewolves, murderous clowns (which was dumb anyway), zombies…it even worked on her maid idea. As she pondered ideas, a police car passed by the airfield with its siren blaring.
"Hmmm…that could work…"
. . .
"Oh, good Christ Bumpkin." Revy said as she saw me in mah full get-up. "Were you dropped on your head as a child? No wait, thrown across the room?"
"Naw. But once Ah accidentally jumped too high on tha bed an' whacked mah noggin' on tha ceilin' fan."
"I don't see how this is scary though…" Rock wondered as he tilted back his mask to git ah better look.
"Hey, anythin' that smokes that much reefer, drops that much LSD, eats that much tofu an' don' die ain't human. So, Hippie it is." An' Hippie it was. Ah'd let Frederica straighten out mah hair so it hung down on mah head instead of its usual curly up 'n' out. Ah'd gotten ah pair of Lennon style sunglasses with purple lenses, an' ah headband to keep mah hair outta mah face. Tha Twins an' Ah ruined three shirts 'fore we got tha tie-dye to come out jest right with tha peace sign on tha front an' back lookin' halfway decent. Over mah shirt went ah dark blue denim vest. Then Ah put on ah pair of corduroy pants an' ah pair of sandals from tha thrift store.
"So you're scared of Hippies…makes sense." Rock said as he swished his machete through tha air an' tucked it back into tha sheath on his belt.
"An' you must be Jason Voorhees?" Rock nodded. He had on ah black shirt, dark grey coat an' jeans; each was stained, grungy an' ripped with gashes. He'd bought ah pair of boots with ah two inch heel to give him some extra height an' look more intimidatin'. He also had ah pair of rough leather gloves an' tha machete from tha tool shed. But, tha clincher was tha hockey mask. He'd bored out tha extra holes, cut it in ah few places with tha machete, painted on tha red triangles an' buried it in tha yard for ah few days so it'd look dirty. In tha right light, he looked downright terrifyin'.
"What about you Revy?" Benny asked, readjusting his…skirt…for lack of ah better word, of fake leaves. Jane had come back from India an' missed tha whole 'costume that scares yah' memo or Benny jest didn' tell her. Either way, they were dressed as Adam an' Eve. She said it was ah cute idea fer them to go as ah couple. Ah pers'nally think it was jest ah chance to wear ah leaf pattern bikini an' flaunt her tits…but Ah digress.
"It's on the way." Revy said, looking at the clock on tha wall every ten seconds. "Well, part of it anyway. I had to order a few things." Ah delivery truck pulled through tha gate an' headed fer us. "Oh, this is it." She took tha package from tha driver, signed fer it an' disappeared upstairs to put it on, whatever it was. She was gone fer ah few minutes an' reappeared in somethin' that made all of us jump.
"Freeze fuckers!" She ordered, trainin' her Cutlasses on all present in tha kitchen. "You're all under arrest!"
"Damn it all Revy!" Ah said an' then realized mah hands were up outta pure habit. "You would be ah cop!"
"How are cops scary to you Revy?" Rock asked, admirin' her uniform.
"Well, if you shoot one they'll die. But then, ten more show up. Shoot them, thirty show up. The more of them you kill, the more show up, you can't win. That and have you ever broken into a cop's house?! They get really pissed off when you take on one of their own yah know." She must've ordered tha uniform from ah supplier fer police. It was ah dark blue, short-sleeve, button-up shirt with ah badge, name tag that read 'Two-Hands' an' arm patch of tha NYPD 27th Precinct. Where'd she'd gotten that from an' how was ah mystery that'll probably never git solved.
Tha rest of tha uniform was up to spec with peaked hat, dark blue shorts, black boots and ah workin' shoulder unit radio. She had aviator shades like mine, her hair up in ah regulation bun an' even had ah complete equipment belt: double holster rig fer her Cutlasses, four spare mag pouches, handcuff case on tha back of tha belt an' even…
"Got yerself an' attitude adjuster Ah see." Ah lifted tha T-Stick baton off her belt an' twirled it 'round tha kitchen, runnin' through tha basic moves Ah know with it.
"Yep. The internet is an interesting place, you can find just about anything on there." She took tha baton back an' secured it on her belt. "That and I can really scare some dimwits in town with this."
"I'd be careful; you're liable to get shot around here dressed as a cop." Dutch said as he opened up tha front door. He was wearin' ah pair of black slacks with ah double-row button suit jacket over his arm. He had ah black fedora with ah' dark green band in his hand. He also had ah dark green vest an' tie over ah black shirt. Instead of his usual belt, he had ah set of suspenders that also had an under tha shoulder holster fer his S&W 629.
"Don' tell me, don' tell me!" Ah wanted to see if Ah could guess. "Yer…1920's Chi-town gangster!"
"You got it Country." He spun his hat 'round his hand an' placed it on his head. "The Roaring Twenty's, when criminals still had class and acted like they gave a damn."
"It looks really good Dutch, very classy." Rock said, probably glad that he wasn' tha only one who owned ah tie. "You should wear it on a job once, see what happens."
"I'm wearing it tonight, let's not push it." He leaned 'gainst tha wall 'tween tha livin' room an' kitchen. "Where're The Twins and Sawyer?"
"Upstairs yet in tha bathroom, puttin' on tha kids make-up." Ah'd gone upstairs earlier to see if they was ready but got booted outta mah own bathroom. "Ah'm not sure what's keepin' 'em but they should be ready to go any minute now." Right on cue, there was tha sound of footsteps above an' Tha Twins came boundin' down tha stairs.
"Ve vant to drink your blood!" They hissed, barin' their fangs in chillin' smiles. Frederica had worked magic with them, their faces were ashen white, lips ruby an' skin seemed almost paper-like. Tha darkness she'd painted 'round their eyes made them seem sunken into their sockets an' made tha blue of 'em seem almost icy bright. They each had hooded capes that fell to tha floor an' black boots with buckles that ran up to their calves. Hansel had black slacks, ah silky red vest an' red Victorian style cravat 'round his neck. Gretel had ah black dress with red trim an' petticoats to her knees an' ah red bow in her hair.
"You two were made to dress as vampires." Dutch declared as he looked over their costumes. "Sawyer did a good job, be sure to thank her." He looked back up the stairs. "Where is she anyway?"
"Still in the bathroom, putting on her costume." Gretel said as she twirled so her dress flared out in ah red whirl. "We don't know what it is though, she wouldn't say."
"Country…" Dutch looked over at me.
"Ah'm on it." Ah trooped upstairs an' knocked on tha bathroom door. "It's me. Yah doin' okay in there?"
"I'm…I'm fine." She didn' sound too convincin', like she was tellin' herself more than me.
"Yah sure? Yah didn' fall in or anythin' didja?" There was silence on tha other side. "Frederica?...Fredi? Hey, Ah'm comin' in on tha count-ah three…"
"Just a moment!"
"One."
"It…it's not ready!"
"Two."
"You can't…see me…like this!"
"Two-an-ah-half."
"Screw it." Ah heard tha door unlock. "Come in…keep your voice down...and close the door." Ah opened tha door an' didn' even recognize mah own bathroom. Make-up bottles, powders an' eye liner was all over tha sink counter, napkins fer wipin' up excess material were overflowin' tha trashcan. Then, in tha corner on tha edge of tha tub was Frederica an' Ah almost fell over.
She had taken her hair down an' put it in ah ponytail, which was actually really cute. Her usually pale face had been colored, puttin' blush on her cheeks an' red lipstick instead of her default black. Tha rest Ah couldn' tell 'cause she was hidin' under one of tha big beach towels Ah had to use. (If yer tall like me an' find yerself in Thailand, jest know their idea of ah large towel an' yer idea of ah large towel is NOT on tha same wavelength!)
"What're you hidin' under there fer?" Ah asked, leanin' on tha sink counter. This could take ah minute. "Did yer costume not come out right?"
"No it did. I'm just…afraid to be seen…in it."
"Why would you be afraid? Ah saw Tha Twins jest ah moment ago, you've got ah real talent fer this sorta thing. Ah'm sure it's really good, let's take ah peek."
"Promise you won't laugh?"
"Ah promise, can' say tha same for anyone else downstairs though; 'specially Revy."
"Uhm…okay." She stood up with tha towel 'round her like it was ah raincoat. She fidgeted fer ah moment, blushin' through her make-up an' let tha towel fall.
"That is…well, not what Ah expected."
"You said we should…dress as things…that scare us…and I thought…I'd try…something different…than my usual this year…"
"Yah did ah really good job, did you make that yerself?"
"Of course, I love…making things. That and…I could never…convince myself…to buy one…in the store. The clerk would…die of laughter."
"Well Ah think you've outdone yerself tonight 'tween yer costume an' tha Twins." Ah held her hands an' could feel her nervously squeezin' mine. "Yer gonna be fine, jest worry 'bout havin' fun okay?"
"Do you really think…" She looked up at me, nervously chewin' on her lip which made her look cuter still. "I look cute…like this?"
"If Ah'm lyin', Ah'm dyin'." Ah said an' kissed her lips softly. "Now c'mon. Let's go have us some fun."
. . .
"Bwaaahahahahaahaaa!" Revy had almost passed out laughing when she saw Sawyer and she was still losing it whenever she looked over at her. "Oh, I can't…oh shit that's funny!"
"You've been sayin' it's funny fer tha past ten minutes Revy." Country said dryly as he drove his F-250 through town. Gretel was sitting on his lap, Hansel on Sawyer's and Officer Revy on Rock's. Benny, Jane and Dutch were following in the GTO; the group was on their way to pick up Shenhua and Lotton.
"I know, but I just never thought I'd see Spooky as a cheerleader!" Sawyer had indeed broken her mold. She had an orange, white and blue blouse with West Jefferson High across the chest, a long sleeved white undershirt that came down to her wrists, a blue pleated skirt, dark blue stockings and black and white Converse shoes. She even had white pom-poms.
"I think I know the answer." Rock was trying to ask Sawyer as politely as he could and not laugh himself. "But why did you choose a cheerleader?"
"We agreed…to dress as things…that scare us…" Sawyer explained, looking like she wanted to disappear into the truck's bench seat. "And I'm scared of being…in front of crowds. But I couldn't think…of how to dress for that. So I thought…of people who have…to be in front…of crowds a lot…and can't show…that they're scared. So…" She lifted up her pom-poms and shook them. "Cheerleader."
"That makes perfect sense to me." Rock agreed. "You really kept with the theme and did a good job with your costume."
"See Frederica? Ah toldja they'd like it." Country pulled over to the sidewalk in front of Shenhua's apartment. "Do yah know what Shenhua an' Lotton are goin' as?"
"I have no idea." Sawyer looked around Hansel at the front step of the apartment. "They were working on them…separately from me…so your guess…is as good…as mine." The front door burst open and a tall figure emerged from inside. It was in a long red, yellow and white dress that came to its ankles, where pointed cloth shoes stuck out from under the hem. The sleeves of the dress extended along outstretched arms all the way to the wrists. On the person's head was a tall, round and pointed cap, black hair was in a tight bun behind it. The figure began to hop towards the truck with arms outstretched. The occupants could see the creature's pale face with dried blood in lines that had dripped from its mouth. It snarled and snapped, moaning and groaning as it drew closer. Long nails that looked sharp enough to pass as claws pawed at the air.
"What. In. Tha. Blazes. Hell. Is. That?" Country said with each bounce of the creature. It hopped around the truck and moved to press itself against Revy's window, snarling and displaying a pair of sharp fangs. Revy slowly rolled her window down and the monster stood back.
"Hello Twinky and Dumbass, Twins, Sawyer and Bumpkin!" Shenhua took out her fake fangs and smiled. "What you think of costume? It Jiangshi."
"Bless you Mizz Shenhua." Country said. "That was ah good one."
"No Bumpkin, I AM Jiangshi! It zombie from Qing Dynasty, survive by eating qi of living thing."
"If it's ah zombie then what's with tha hoppin'?
"Tch! Stupid Bumpkin, hop because of rigor mortis. Jiangshi dead and limbs go all stiff. Have to hop to move."
"So is it something that scares you Chinglish?" Revy asked, seeing a potential way to torment Shenhua in the future.
"Of course Twinky! There Jiangshi in my hometown, they eat fair maiden like me. You no worry though, you be safe." She needled at Revy.
"Anyhow, where's yer ward?" Country asked, looking back at the apartment where a light was still on.
"Ward?" Shenhua asked, puzzled by the word.
"Wizard Boy, where's Lotton?"
"Oh, him. He total drama, can't get hair way he want. I go get him." The Jiangshi turned towards its apartment and hopped back across the front lawn. She opened the front door, took a deep breath and yelled loud enough to make the F-250 and GTO rock. "LOTTON! GET BUTT OUTSIDE NOW! PEOPLE ARE WAITING!" She slammed the door and hopped back over to Lagoon. "He be out soon."
"Oh Jesus, Joseph an' Mary…who in tha hell is that?" Country rolled down his window and leaned out of the truck to get a better look. "That you Lotton?" It was indeed Lotton but in a form no one would have recognized. His hair was gelled and lay flat on his head, parted down the middle. He had discarded his usual silver sunglasses for a pair of neon yellow Ray Bans. He had an orange and green striped shirt, buttoned to the collar with a black and white polka-dot bowtie at his throat. He had the shirt tucked into purple and red plaid shorts; with no belt holding them up. The shorts came down to just above his knees and met a pair of bright, white socks. Those ran down his calves and to his feet, which wore a pair of Velcro secured sandals.
"Yes…it's me." Lotton walked across the lawn and stood next to Shenhua for all to gape at. "You said to masquerade as things that frighten us. So, I thought: what was the embodiment of not being cool?" He stood back and spread his arms. "Then the answer came to me…tacky."
"That outfit's scary enough on its own." Revy added, looking at Lotton like he had sprouted a second head out of his shoulder. "I'm no fashionista but damn…"
"Now that we's all here, how's 'bout we go do some trick or treatin'?" Country asked as he started up his truck. "Lotton, Mizz Shenhua, there's room in tha GTO fer you. Be sure yah make plenty fun of Benny fer me." He dropped the truck into gear and revved the engine. "Yah ready kiddos?"
"Vee are ready to plunder zee candy of zee peasants!" The Twins cheered in their best Transylvanian.
. . .
"Trick or treat!" The Twins beamed, flashing their fangs at the smiling couple at the door.
"Aren't you just adorable?" The woman said as she dropped candy into their pillowcases. "Aren't they adorable Stan?"
"We are not adorable!" Gretel pouted. "We're fearsome creatures of the night, feasting on the blood of the living!"
"Oh that is just too cute!" Stan said; laughing as Gretel tried to look fearsome.
"Okay, c'mon you two, next house!" Country called them back from the sidewalk. The Twins turned and slouched back down the brick pathway through the yard. "Wha's tha matter with you? Yah look bummed out."
"She said we were adorable." Hansel griped. "We're not adorable; we're undead, soulless creatures that prey on the helpless townspeople!"
"That's not much of a stretch in imagination…" Revy mumbled and Country heard her.
"Hey, Ah may be dressed as 'peace 'n' love' but one more word like that…"
"Oh hey, that house has its light on!" Rock interrupted before Country and Revy could reenact the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention. "Go and see if they're giving anything out." The Twins took off running with their capes billowing out behind them. "I'm surprised there are this many people celebrating Halloween in Roanapur, given its reputation."
"People are people no matter where they are." Dutch explained. "We are in the suburbs anyway, that helps a lot too. A lot of these people are just your average Joe's, trying to make a living the honest way."
"It's just strange to see is all, people living so normally just a mile away from…well." Rock nodded down the road where the nightlife lights were winking seductively. "Oh you're back, what did you get?"
"That house was nice." Hansel said, looking down into his pillowcase. "The woman at the door nearly fainted, didn't she Sora-mea?"
"Yes, she squeaked like a mouse! We really scared her! She gave us Charleston Chews!"
"Oh Ah love those!" Country looked into The Twins bags. "Oh, y'all's got some real nice stuff in here…Ah think we're gonna make out real well."
"Wait, we?" The Twins clutched the bags closer to their chests.
"W'all yeah! Yah don' think us walkin' 'round with you two is free?" Country looked over at the rest of Lagoon and winked, he was only playing with them. "Tha rest of us git ah cut too."
"You didn't mention that before!" The Twins were looking at the rest of Lagoon for guidance, finding some in Sawyer.
"He's pulling…your legs." She said, sticking her tongue out at Country who just grinned sheepishly. "Now there are…two houses left…on this block. Go and check…them out." The Twins approached the door and rang the bell. The door popped open and a slightly portly man wearing a bolo tie with grey hair, mustache and goatee answered.
"What the hell do you want?! Get the fu…" He looked down first at The Twins and then saw Lagoon and company behind them. Dutch opened his coat to show his S&W 629 in its holster, Revy put her hands on her gun belt and Country pulled back the left side of his vest to show his Patrolman in its shoulder holster.
"Good evening and Happy Halloween to you Lobos." Dutch said, adjusting his coat. "We're out for the evening trick or treating, saw your porch light was on."
"Oh, yes…so it is." Lobos said; flustered at seeing Lagoon on his front lawn. "So sorry…I, uh, I'll get you kids something." He turned, hustling off to his kitchen and came back with two bars of Valrhona chocolate. "I was saving them for uh, someone but uh…well here." He handed The Twins each a bar. They politely thanked Lobos, wished him Happy Halloween and walked back down to the sidewalk. Lobos looked like his reality was unraveling and pointed to The Twins as if to ask if they were indeed who he thought they were. Lagoon nodded. He raised an eyebrow as if to ask if they were sure. They nodded again. He furrowed his brow, rubbed his eyes and looked at The Twins as they headed for the next house. He then nodded once for himself and shrugged. He waved goodnight to everyone, closed his door and turned off his porch light.
"Okay, this's gonna be tha last one an' then we're headin' home." Country informed The Twins. "Tha folks 'round here is gonna be closin' up soon."
"Awwww….but we're having fun!" They complained as they made the turn to the front walk.
"Ah'm sorry but all good things gotta come to an end sooner or later. Go on now, make it count." The Twins rang the doorbell and a middle-aged woman with grey streaks in her hair and pince-nez glasses answered.
"Trick or treat!" The Twins opened their mouths and hissed, fangs gleaming in the light of the porch lamp.
"Oh, this infernal Devil's holiday." The woman tsked and reached for something beside the door. "Here, take these and go away." She dropped two small boxes into their pillowcases and slammed the door closed in their faces. They turned around and looked back at the house over their shoulders as they made their way back to Lagoon.
"She wasn't very nice Fratele-meu." Gretel peered suspiciously back at the house. "I don't think she's in the Halloween spirit."
"Yeah, well some people go 'round in life with four-by-four posts stuck their butts." Country explained. "So what'd she give yah?"
"These." The Twins reached into their pillowcases and each pulled out a small, purple box. The sight made everyone recoil with disgust and Sawyer looked murderous. "Just a small box of raisins…"
"What?!" Revy took the box from Hansel and examined it. "That…bitch!"
"I don't understand." Gretel turned her box over in her hands. "Is that bad?"
"You don't…give out…fruit…" Sawyer was so mad she was shaking, rustling her pom-poms. "You…just don't…do that…you don't…give out…raisins…ON HALLOWEEN!" She growled and a few took a tentative step back away from her.
"So what do we do then?" Hansel asked. "Is there some sort of, Halloween tradition for things like this?" Country gathered The Twins on his left and Sawyer on his right. He looked at Sawyer with one of his signature smiles and she looked back. Their vision locked and the gleam of impish mischief flared up in both their eyes. The rest of the group had seen that look before and knew something good, potentially illegal, but awesome, was about to happen.
"Should we tell 'em, show them how we deal with Halloween Scrooges?"
"Yessss…" Sawyer's face slowly broke out into a smile that was pure evil. "Hansel…Gretel…" She turned her sight to The Twins who looked on with anticipation and excitement. "You're going…to love this."
. . .
"Stop laughin' so much or she'll hear you." Country hissed as Revy snorted, trying to keep her laughter down. She, Lotton, Shenhua, Benny and Jane all had boxes of plastic forks they were sticking into the lawn every six inches with the tongs pointing up. Sawyer and The Twins each had industrial sized packages of toilet paper and were throwing them as high as they could into the trees all along the property and onto the roof of the house. The white streams hanging from the limbs blew softly in the wind; some were as much as thirty feet up. Country and Rock were working on the woman's car which she had foolishly left parked in her driveway. When they had gotten supplies from the nearest convenience store, Country had taken a wire coat hanger from the bin by the door and bent it into a Slim Jim. He'd gotten the door of the car open so Rock could start filling it with the $0.50, twenty-count packs of ping pong balls of which they had bought all of the store's stock. While Rock was inside the car, he turned on every button, bell, whistle, knob and control he could find. The stereo was cranked to 11, the AC all the way to arctic, fan to full blast, he put four-way flashers and high-beams on and adjusted all of the seats. Meanwhile, Country popped the hood and found the windshield fluid reservoir. He poured in half a quart of red food coloring and screwed the cap back on. He then disconnected the battery and switched the leads on the distributor cap. Next he took a small boat horn out of its box and secured it with zip ties to the frame under the car. Rock held a flashlight so Country could splice into the brake wires and hook the horn up so whenever the brakes were pressed, the horn would go off. While Rock resumed ping pong duty, Country went to the back of the car and poured a small bottle of vegetable oil into the exhaust. He finished by fitting a balloon over the end of the tailpipe. The vegetable oil would smoke like a coal chimney but the smoke and exhaust would be captured by the balloon. It would fill, getting larger and larger until burst with a thunderous bang, releasing a cloud of fumes. Dutch meanwhile, said he was having no part of this but wasn't going to stop anyone either. He simply watched from the sidewalk, trying his best not to laugh.
"Okay, that outta do fer that." Country pulled himself out from under the car and closed the hood. "All done on yer end Rock?"
"Almost. Just a few more seconds…" Rock was down on one knee, letting the air out of the last tire. "Annnnd…done. So, none of these pranks are going to break the car or anything right?"
"Eh…sure, why not?"
"What?"
"Nothin'. Ready fer tha final touch?"
"Now we wrap it up?"
"Now we wrap it up." Rock and Country each took a roll of saran wrap and started putting layers of the material around the car. They coated the entire vehicle in an inch thick layer, even pushing the rolls under the car to get a complete three hundred and sixty coverage.
"We're finished with the lawn." Benny reported as he placed the last fork in a sea of plastic utensils.
"Toilet paper expended." The Twins announced as they tip-toed through the front lawn and army of forks. They had gone around to get some of the trees along the side of the house.
"Alright then, let's get out of here before the real cops show up." Revy suggested and the group met up with Dutch on the sidewalk.
"Finished?" He asked, not moving from his spot.
"I think so." Rock looked back at the house. "We've got about everything covered."
"Are you sure?" Dutch looked at Country. He reached into his coat and pulled out a small box. He opened it and inside was an inch-and-a-half mortar firework. "I know this isn't the first house you've done this to, you did all of that a little too well to pretend to be an amateur. So are you sure there's nothing you've missed?"
"Damn! How'd Ah miss that?!" Country clapped himself on the forehead. "Of course! When didja git that Dutch?"
"While the rest of you were running around the store I found their surplus section, had some left over from the last big party. Thought I'd bring it along."
"Well what're we waiting for?" Revy demanded. "Light it up Country!" He borrowed Revy's offered Zippo and took the firework from Dutch. He opened up the mailbox at the end of the driveway, checking to see if anything was in it. He opened the Zippo, lit the fuse on the firework, threw it into the mailbox, and slammed the door shut.
"RUN!" He commanded and everyone sprinted down the street. BOOOOOOMMMMmmmmmm! The mailbox disintegrated in a brilliant flash, sending pieces of metal and wood across the lawn and driveway. The front door flew open and the woman screamed as she saw the mess inflicted on her property. A red GTO and dark blue F-250 roared past her house, the occupants hollering at her as they vanished out of sight:
"Enjoy your tricks! Happy Halloween!"
. . .
"That was really, really fun!" Hansel said before a yawn escaped him.
"I agree with him, Halloween is the best holiday!" Gretel was already starting into her candy. "Hey Country, Sawyer?"
"Hmmm?"
"Do we get to do this every year?"
"Of course. Why wouldn' we do this every year?"
"Awesome."
. . .
"Okay, tha kids are in bed…" Country closed and locked the front door of his house and walked back to his truck. "So…guess what time it is?!"
"Time to get fuckin' wasted!" Revy cheered as Country started his truck and raced to keep ahead of Benny as they headed for The Yellow Flag. They were only a few minutes late and the party was in full swing. Lights flashed from the windows, the thumping of bass could be felt in the crowded parking lot. A black sedan with a Chang1 plate was parked next to a grey Mercedes which was next to a Harley motorcycle.
"Damn it, Eda beat me here!" Revy groaned as they walked to the door. "She's probably tried to drink all the good shit already. Better not have!" Lagoon pushed their way through the front door, almost unable to get in because it was so packed. For a moment they looked around to get their bearings. The Yellow Flag had been decorated by Flora and her girls from upstairs with some help from Bao. Giant cobwebs were strung from ceiling beam to beam, filled with fake spiders whose eyes glowed red. Candles burned on almost every horizontal surface, many of the lights had been removed and the flames cast flickering shadows across the walls. Bao had hired a DJ for the night, the old jukebox wouldn't be able to handle the demand nor crank out the required volume. The DJ had just finished playing a new techno beat and asked if there were any requests.
"Werewolves of London!" Someone in the crowd shouted out. As the song began, Country offered Sawyer his arm and they headed off for the dance floor to the vocals of Warren Zevon.
I saw a Werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand…Walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain.
He was lookin' for the place called Lee Ho Fook's…gonna get ah big dish of beef chow mein…
Ah-WOOO! Werewolves of London! Ah-WOOO!...Ah-WOOO! Werewolves of London!
The rest of the company dispersed into the crowd while Rock and Revy worked their way to the bar. Bao had hired some temporary help to cover the demand and wasn't behind the bar when the two sat down.
"I wonder where Chang and Balalaika are?" Rock scanned the sea of painted faces and masks. "They're here somewhere, their cars are out front."
"Oh I'm sure they'll turn up. You just keep an eye out for Eda." Revy ordered as she sipped her spiced rum. "Huh, this is actually really good…"
"I'll get you yet my pretty! AH-hahaha!" A witch cackled and rushed across the dance floor straight for Rock. He stood, planted his boots on the floor, slipped his hockey mask down onto his face and drew his machete, raising it above his head. The Wicked Witch of The West screeched to a stop when faced with the mild Rock transforming into the menacing Jason Voorhees.
"Damn Rock!" Eda panted, bent with her hands on her knees as she recovered from shock and nearly choking on her gum. "What's the idea of scaring a girl like that?!"
"Thought I'd give it a try." Rock laughed, putting his machete away and lifting the hockey mask off his face. "And your make-up is very convincing; I might have thought you really were the Wicked Witch."
"Well thank you!" Eda stood, showing herself off. She had her blonde hair dyed black, flowing from under a pointed black hat. She had a black dress that stopped at her knees but was cut along the side almost up to her hips so one could see she'd painted her legs green too, visible through her fishnet stockings. She'd also painted her face, neck, arms, hands, ears and even the bust she was showing off with help from the low cut of her dress. "I was hoping it was to your liking."
"Just one question, how much of your body did you paint?" Rock wondered. "You're really green all over!"
"Why don't you ditch the Keystone Cop over there…" Eda had a broom with her and ran the tip of the handle up Rock's neck until it rested just under his chin, pushing his head up and he backed into the bar. "Come with me and I'll show you just how far the paint goes…" She purred, throwing out her chest at him as she teased, cornering him on the bar.
"Hey, want your attitude adjusted?" Revy growled, tapping Eda on the temple with her baton. "Because I can make that happen if you keep this up."
"Whoa! Stand down officer!" Eda stepped back and sprang into a mock salute. "No crimes to stop here! Well I'm off…the offer's still good Rock when you change your mind…" She waggled her fingers at him and disappeared, the tip of her hat bobbing through the crowd.
"She just never gives up, that skank." Revy grumbled but quickly forgot about Eda as Chang and Balalaika sat down next to her.
"Happy Halloween Two-Hands!" Balalaika greeted as she waved for a drink. "It's so ironic to see you in a police uniform. Rock…I'm not sure who or what your costume is supposed to be…but it's very well done.
"Thanks, I see you and Chang dressed up." Rock observed. The pair were both in brightly colored serapes, sombreros, sandals and loose brown pants. Balalaika had a pair of maracas hanging from a string across her shoulders and Chang had a very used and beat-up guitar slung across his back.
"Yeah, we were going to try and form an entire mariachi band, inviting the rest of the organization heads." Chang explained, tilting back his sombrero so the shadow from it didn't hide his face. "But Abrego is such a stick in the mud and Ronnie the Jaws said he was 'busy', whatever that really means." Chang explained and took a shot of his whiskey and coke.
"Does your band have a name?" Revy asked, looking at the instruments.
"Of course! What band worth its salt doesn't have a name?!" Balalaika scoffed as if the mere idea of her not picking out a name was ridiculous. "We're Duo Los Ponchos."
"I like it, simple, easy to remember." Rock agreed. "Whoa, look out!"
"Sorry buddy, gittin' ah bit crowded in here." Country apologized as he took a stool at the bar and Sawyer hopped onto his lap. He ordered rum and she took a Bloody Mary. "Mizz Balalaika, Mister Chang, Ah'm diggin' tha outfits. You two goin' on tha road?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't associate with Hippies." Balalaika sneered then laughed. "You did very well with your costume Country. It's like you stepped out of a photo from Woodstock. And you Miss Sawyer look just darling." Sawyer took a gulp from her drink before replying to the mafia head.
"Thank you...Miss Balalaika. It's an exercise…in expanding…my comfort zone. I like yours…and Mr. Chang's." She leaned to the side and saw Boris and Biu talking by the buffet table in their usual suits without so much as a hint of a costume. "Are they…not dressing up?"
"Oh, Boris is being a, what's the word?" Balalaika pondered for a moment. "Fuddy-duddy? He said he doesn't 'get' Halloween."
"Biu's just worried about looking like a goof. I suppose we could order them to dress up…" Chang looked over at the two bodyguards, stiff as statues. "But that's not very fun."
"So much…for Halloween spirit. I have an idea." Sawyer hopped off Country's lap and walked over to a pair of Flora's girls. They were all dressed as different animals, mostly dogs, cats and rabbits. They talked for a moment and Sawyer pointed at Boris and Biu. The two girls giggled and handed Sawyer something. She then walked straight up to the two men, pointed at them and then pointed at the ground. Boris slowly knelt down onto one knee, wondering what the Cleaner turned Cheerleader was doing. She pointed at Biu and down at the floor again and he slowly knelt too. Before they could ask what she was getting at, Sawyer put a set of fluffy white dog ears on Boris's head and a pair of pointy yellow cat ears on Biu's. They stood, looking mortified anyone might see them. Then they turned to look at each other and started roaring with laughter, nearly doubled over with the sight. Her work completed, Sawyer made her way back to the bar, thoroughly pleased.
"That's better." She returned to her seat on Country's lap. "Now everyone…is dressed up."
"Hey, anyone seen Bao anywhere?" Revy changed the subject as she scanned up and down the bar.
"What 'bout him?" Country asked. "He's probably busy in tha back."
"Yeah, but usually he's yelled at me at least once by now and I haven't even seen him yet." Revy gave up scanning the crowd and hopped off her stool. "C'mon Rock, let's go check the back, something's not right."
"Officer Revy on the case!" Chang raised his glass as Revy headed for the backroom.
. . .
"Well I don't see how that's my problem! I made an order and I expected it to be delivered!" Ah could hear Bao talkin' with someone over tha phone an' he didn' sound tha least bit happy. "Look here, I have a huge party at my bar and it's packed to the rafters with people who are all very thirsty. The problem is, when they don't get drinks, they tend to get a little pissed off! Does that get through your thick skull you shit for brains?! Hello?...hello?! Damn it!" Bao slammed tha phone down an' nearly ran into us as he stomped outta his office. "Watch where you're going you!…oh."
"Are you dressed…as who…I think you are?" Frederica asked as she started shakin' from laughter. Bao had ah black A-shirt on, ah pair of denim shorts, web belt holdin' 'em up an' his old combat boots from his days in tha ARVN. He'd drawn ah tribal lookin' tattoo on his right bicep with ah maker an' had ah double holster rig on his shoulders with two Ruger P95 pistols in it. He'd even dyed his salt 'n' pepper hair ah plum-red.
"Well Rock said on the phone we were supposed to be dressing as things that scare us." Bao explained, starin' straight at Revy an' givin' her Tha Evil Eye. "And almost every time she's in here, bad shit happens. Someone gets blown away, there's a fight, or the place is shot up or burned down. So yeah, I'm dressed like Revy!" He said an' sat down on ah chair in his office.
"You know what Bao?" Revy said, soundin' like she was unused to tha comments. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"Eh? How's that?"
"You're scared of me. That's…awesome! I'm…I'm flattered Bao, I really am."
"Don't let it go to your head Two-Hands." Bao rubbed his face an' suddenly looked very tired. "But I've got a huge problem."
"Oh here we go." Ah had an inklin' of what it could be an' it wasn' good.
"I just got off the phone with the liquor distributor. I had stocked up for tonight but there are twice as many people here than I'd planned on and are drinking like it's going out of style."
"No…" Revy's eyes went wide. "No, no, no! This can't be happening!"
"Yeah…it is. At the rate we're going, I'm going to run out of booze in an hour."
"Okay, 'fore anyone panics..." Ah saw tha look of fear creepin' into everyone's faces. "Ah've dealt with this situation 'fore, there's ah solution. Bao, if yah give us money, we'll go on ah liquor run for yah."
"Me? Give you money?" Bao looked jest ah tad skeptical. "Are you high you Hippie? Better yet, you probably think I'm high!"
"Okay fine, yer choice…" Ah turned to leave. "But Ah'm not gonna stick 'round when tha bar runs out…"
"Wait…wait." Bao pulled out a clipboard and started writing on the paper. "Let me get a list written up."
. . .
"Rock, will you stop staring at them?" Revy sighed as they waited at a traffic light. Rock was looking out the window at the small group of street kids on the corner. Little gangs of children were all over the city, homeless, orphaned or just kicked out to fend for themselves. They made their living begging, pick-pocketing and eventually working their way up to worse crimes. "You do this every time we see these brats."
"I know; I just feel bad for them is all."
"Don' be fixatin' on it too much Rock." Country advised as the light changed. "Ah know you'd help every single one of 'em if yah could but yah can't. If yah try to save everyone, you'll go nuts."
"Yeah, yeah…" Rock looked back at the corner in the side mirror. "Even just making this night a little better for them would be something…oh well."
. . .
"Okay guys, masks on." The gang of men put on their ski masks and exited their van. They ran across the parking lot and burst into the store. The Leader fired his pistol at the ceiling, screaming for everyone to put their hands up. The rest of the men covered the customers and the cashiers.
"Empty the registers, all of them!" The Leader ordered the cashiers. "You, you." He pointed at two of his henchmen. "Go and get the cash office open." The pair took off and The Leader sat down on the conveyor belt next to the register and watched the cashier empty the registers into the bags they were given. "Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?!" He yelled as one customer tried to slip out the front door unnoticed. BANG! He fired a round through the glass door next to the customer's head and they leaped back. "You're staying right here!"
. . .
"Honestly, who robs ah supermarket, an' on Halloween of all nights?" Country asked as he, Sawyer, Rock, Revy, Lotton and Shenhua took cover behind his truck. The round fired out the front door had zipped past the group as they walked through the parking lot.
"A bunch of fuckwits, that's who." Revy peeked over the truck bed. "I think there's…one…three…four…yeah, four." She dropped back behind the truck. "Four that I can see. Bunch of regular civvies in there too."
"So what're we going to do?" Rock asked, taking his own look at the store. "Are we just going to leave or…do something?"
"Let me look for a moment." Lotton peered over the truck at the store. "Oh, wait a minute. I think I recognize one of those men." Lotton pointed at The Leader who was walking to the next register with a pronounced limp, throwing his left leg in an arc to the side. "I recognize that gait; he was on the news and has a bounty him and the others, $25,000 a piece."
"What about dead?" Revy asked as she checked her Cutlasses.
"Zero I'm afraid. They want them alive."
"Well…who wants to make some extra money?" Country asked. Five hands went up. "Okay…Rock, got any of them bright ideas of yers?"
. . .
"Have you gotten the cash office open yet?!" The Leader yelled across the store.
"We got the door open, but the safe is proving difficult!" Was the answer sent back.
"Well hurry it up!" The Leader ordered and looked back at the cashier. The registers were empty so he was now just waiting for the cash office and keeping an eye on the hostages.
"Wait…wait a minute." The cashier slowly pointed at The Leader. "Is that you Carl?"
"Oh, you caught me huh?!" Carl yelled causing the cashier to cower next to the register. "Well congratulations. Oh, and thanks for getting me fired, really appreciate that."
"If you hadn't been stealing alcohol…"
"Oh shut up you narc and don't bother." Carl pointed his gun at the cashier as she slowly tried to press the panic button under the counter. "The alarm's been cut; I did help install it you know." Ding-Dong… The chime at the front door rang as a man walked inside the store. He wore a denim vest, tie-dye shirt, purple sunglasses, corduroy pants and sandals. He was stumbling slightly and didn't seem to be fully cognizant of his surroundings. The man started browsing the magazine rack by the front of the store, ignoring the robbers.
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" Carl swung his handgun over to the Hippie. "Are you deaf?!" The Hippie continued to ignore him. "I asked you a question! Grrr…damn Hippie." He swung himself off the conveyor and started walking over to the man. "Put your damn hands up!"
"Whoa, whoa man!" The Hippie looked unfazed to see Carl standing in front of him with a pistol. "What's with tha negative waves?"
"The what? You do realize this is a robbery right? Wait…are you stoned?"
"Tha negative waves dude. You're puttin' out all these negative waves, why don't you try thinkin' of somethin' righteous an' hopeful fer ah change?"
"And how am I supposed to do that?" The Hippie laughed softly and pulled a self-rolled cigarette and lighter from his vest pocket.
"With a little help from mah little friend…wanna hit?" Carl thought about it for about half a second and decided 'what the hell?' He nodded and the Hippie lit up, pulling heavily on the cigarette. He blew the cloud of smoke out right into Carl's face. Carl caught a full nose and lungful of it, and started coughing while his eyes watered. "It's got ah bit of ah kick to it don' it buddy?" The Hippie's voice changed from a drugged daze to clear country slang. Carl cleared his vision by blinking away the tears just in time to see a pair of brass knuckles headed for his face.
"Shit man! Carl's down!" One of the robbers shouted, firing his pistol at Country who dove behind the magazine racks. Volumes exploded, pages shredded from bullets floated down like snowflakes. Lotton, Shenhua and Sawyer burst through the back doors and subdued one robber by gang tackling him. Crash! Revy's feet appeared through a vent in the ceiling and she dropped down onto an unsuspecting robber with a loud crunch. Rock followed Revy through the vent and went to check on the hostages and see if they were alright.
"Hey you damn hippie, c'mere!" The robber who shot at Country tried to lean over the magazine rack; arm extended to try and blind fire his gun. Country was crouched down and grabbed the robber by his wrist and elbow. He stood and pulled hard on the robber's arm, tossing him into a steel support column. Another robber fired at Revy, hitting a row of pop cans and spraying soda all over the floor. Revy kicked a shopping basket to her left and moved right, launching herself off the conveyor and slamming into the robber shoulder first. He raised his gun to fire but she clubbed him with her baton. The fighting ceased and everyone began to corral the robbers in front of the registers.
"Looks like we got 'em all." Country counted five robbers groaning on the floor. "Who's got ah phone so we can call tha cops?" As Lotton started dialing the store's phone for the police, there was the sound of a toilet flushing and the sixth robber exited the bathroom, whistling as he fiddled with his belt. He stopped upon seeing his buddies lying in a row on the floor.
"Who the hell…"
"Hold it right there." Revy had both her guns on him. "Hands up." The man put his hands up and his pants slid down to the floor.
"Oh god, oh god, please don't shoot me!" He quivered with fear, knees knocking together as Revy slowly walked towards him, guns trained on his nose. She walked right up to him, pressing a barrel to his forehead and leaned in close to make sure he heard her clearly.
"Boo." The robber mumbled something as his eyes rolled back and he fainted.
. . .
"So Lotton…havin' ah little trouble with yer numbers lately?" Country asked as he counted out the bills the police officer had given him. "Ah'm only seein' $25.00 an' not $25,000…"
"I may have confused a decimal point with a comma." Lotton admitted. "I wasn't fully paying attention. But in all fairness, who posts a $25.00 bounty?"
"At least…we have…all the stuff…for Bao." Sawyer loaded a case into the truck. "And the store…was nice enough…to give us…a discount." She passed Rock on her way back inside. He was carrying a case of rum but looked slightly downcast despite having helped save the store.
"Somethin' buggin' yah Rock?" Country asked as he positioned cases in the truck bed. "Wait, are yah still thinkin' 'bout them kids on tha corner?"
"I guess I am." Rock admitted as he put the case on the tailgate. "It's just eating at me is all, I'll be fine." He said, sounding like he wouldn't be the least bit fine. Country stopped moving cases and looked curiously at Rock. He hopped down from the truck and stopped Rock on his way back to the store.
"Hey, Rock. Ah think there might be somethin' we can do. Yo Revy!"
"What's up Bumpkin?"
"Didja git those bozo's wallets?"
"What kind of amateur do you think I am?" She scoffed and pulled six wallets from her various uniform pockets. "Wanna spend some free money?"
"Hey, pardon me Miss." Everyone walked back inside the store. "How much candy do yah got in tha store?"
"Oh, I'm really not sure. More than I could ever eat!" The cashier paused and thought about it so she could give a serious estimate. "I would say about a truck worth. Why do you ask?"
"Would these cover all of it?" Country motioned for Revy and she slapped the six wallets on the table.
"I…I think that ought to cover it, sure." The cashier picked up the wallets and emptied them of all the cash and cards. "Do you have a truck for it?"
"Frederica?"
"Get me to U.G….and we'll have…one in five."
"Alright. Ah think this jest might work."
. . .
"You're lifesavers!" Bao said as an F-250 pulled up in The Yellow Flag's parking lot. "And just in time! I was almost out, on my last case of pumpkin rum. What took you guys though, I thought you'd be back a little earlier?"
"We had a bit of trouble at the store; some guys were trying to play a Halloween trick." Rock explained while Lagoon and company ran cases of liquor into the bar.
"At least you made it back when you did. So, rejoining the party?"
"We will, but have something else to do first." Rock nodded at the U.G. Pork truck rolling past the bar.
"Uh, okay kiddo…" Bao said, wondering what trick or treat Lagoon was planning. "See you when you get back then."
. . .
"You kids and your simple-minded ideas." Dutch said as they filled the B-24's bomb bay. "Where did this idea come from anyway?"
"Rock is being sentimental again." Revy said as she tossed Lotton a bag of Snickers. "He saw some street brats, they flashed him the big sad eyes and well…here we are."
"An' here we are indeed. Ah don' see yah not helpin' though." Country noted as he did his pre-flight checks around the plane.
"Sometimes it's just easier to go along with him than it is to change his mind." Revy shrugged. "Besides, I've spent Halloweens doing dumber things."
"Alright, we all set?" Country asked as he took his seat in the cockpit.
"We're full to the brim back here!" Benny yelled from the tail of the plane over their payload.
"Then up an' away we go!" Country punched the starter for Engine Number 3 and the Roanapur Raider rumbled to life. The B-24 lifted off and Country brought them level over Roanapur five hundred feet up. The lights from the city twinkled below, Halloween parties spilled out from bars and clubs into the streets. The boulevards were jammed with people in costume, trick-or-treaters and mischief makers. Country put on the landing lights and started to open the bomb bay. Candy began to slowly fall from the gap in the doors, sprinkling the avenues with sweets. The children of the city flocked to the sidewalks, picking up handfuls of candy and jamming them into their pockets. They looked up at the sky to see the silhouette of a large plane, its landing lights shining brightly like stars. They filled their pockets, used their shirts as baskets, stuffing bags and anything that doubled as a container full. Country slowly banked left, gradually letting the bomb bay doors open farther. Everyone on board began to throw out candy that had gotten stuck in the nooks and crannies of the bomb bay.
"You know…I just thought…of something." Sawyer was sitting in the copilot's seat, her feet swinging just short of the pedals.
"Wha's on yer mind?" Country asked as he made another turn.
"Do you think…this is how…legends…get started?" She asked.
"Maybe, Ah wonder what you an' Ah'd git called if we became legends?"
"How about…The Halloween Hillbilly…and The Spook-tacular Sawyer?" She suggested, shaking her pom-poms and smiling while she struck a dramatic pose.
"Ah'll take it!" Country laughed. "Tha Dynamic Duo: Tha Hillbilly of Halloween with tha gorgeous an' Ferocious Frederica, bringin' tha Teachin's of Terror to all tha residents of Roanapur!"
"Hey, we're all empty!" Dutch reported from the lower flight deck forward of the bomb bay. "I think mission is accomplished."
"Roger that Boss." Country closed the bomb bay doors and put down the landing gear. The B-24 touched down and taxied to the hangar. Lagoon and company disembarked and headed back to The Flag. Country turned to Rock as they walked through the parking lot.
"So, do yah think we did right, yah feelin' any better?"
"I think so. It's not much, but it's something." Rock did seem a little happier than before and Country clapped him on the shoulder.
"Well Ah'm glad yah do. Now don' let tha rest of us catch yah mopin'. Let's have some fun!"
. . .
The party at The Yellow Flag finally started to wind down at three thirty in the morning. Lotton and Shenhua had disappeared first into the back of a taxi. The only signs of their departure were a polka dot bow tie in the parking lot and a striped shirt alongside the road. Dutch and Eda were last seen working their way to the door. Revy said she'd looked away for a second, and then they were gone with the roar of a Harley Davidson engine. Benny and Jane hadn't even made it back to the second half of the party. They had retired early to Benny's quarters at the airfield and no one was going anywhere near that building. Balalaika and Chang had relieved Boris and Biu of their duties for the evening and said their goodnight. The last anyone saw of the mafia bosses that night was in a black sedan, headed for the coast. Finally, all that remained of Lagoon was Rock, Revy, Country and Sawyer.
"Well I think tonight was a success." Rock declared. "It wasn't quite what I had planned on, but a good night all the same."
"Whoa, hang on there a second Rocky." Revy put her hand on Rock's chest like she was stopping him. "You're talking like the party's over."
"It kind of is. The DJ's packing up and we're the only ones at the bar."
"Oh, that's too bad…" Revy stood up, reaching behind her back to her belt. "Because I thought we were just getting warmed up."
"OH." Rock's boozed-up brain finally made the connection. "I meant, the party here, at The Flag, I mean we can…"
"Are you trying to tempt me?" Revy snapped open one of the pouches on her belt.
"I guess you could put it that way…" Rock said in his best suave voice.
"Then you're under arrest." Revy grabbed Rock's hand, spun his arm behind his back, pushed his face down onto the bar and slapped a handcuff onto his wrist, grabbed his other arm, brought it around and slapped the other cuff on that wrist.
"Huh. Looks like she's done that ah time or two…" Country said to Sawyer.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Rock twisted around, looking back to see Revy's eyes filled with flames of desire, color breaking out across her cheeks. He realized she was just having her fun with him and he was along for the ride. "So uh, what're the charges then?" She leaned over him to whisper in his ear.
"Seducing an officer of the law." She stood back up, grabbing Rock by his collar and the handcuff chain. "Yeah, I gotta take this bozo downtown." She explained to Country and Sawyer. "Total maniac, gonna have to do some intensive interrogation on this one. If you hear any yelling…" She started marching him to the door. "That means I'm making good progress."
"Have fun Rock!" Country said as Revy pushed open the door with her foot. "An' watch out fer that baton…"
"Oh yeah!" Revy smiled devilishly and Rock's eyes went wide. "Thanks for the idea Country!" She cackled as she and Rock headed for down the road for the house.
"So you an' me's all tha's left." Country put down his glass and held Sawyer around her waist with both hands. "Ah think Rock was right, this night did go well."
"So far." Sawyer reminded him by grinding her butt on his lap.
"Right, right, tha's what Ah meant. So whatcha wanna do now?"
"Since you're dressed…as a Hippie…" She stepped down and pulled him towards the door by his vest. "Why don't you…tell me all about…that 'make love, not war'…idea they're always…talking about?"
. . .
'It's finally over…' Bao thought, lighting up a cigarette as he leaned on his bar, exhausted from the festivities. The bar had emptied and cups, masks, some spilled gin and a pink, feather boa were all that remained of the guests. 'That was a really wild party but my favorite kind. No one died, no shots fired and the Flag is still in one piece.' He crushed out his cigarette and headed for the door. He was going to lock up, go home and pass out. The mess wasn't going anywhere; it would be there in the morning.
"Real glad Lagoon decided to have a party." He said as he got into his car. "Even I had fun. Huh…man, I must be going crazy for thinking this." He started the engine and began to head for home. "But it would be really nice if they had another one next year. I wonder if they'd like to do something for Christmas…"
. . .