Disclaimer: If I owned Mortal Kombat, Reptile wouldn't have gotten the crap beaten out of him by almost every playable character in Mortal Kombat (2011)'s story mode and moments like these would actually happen on occasion.

Outworld was preparing for war.

With the invasion of Earthrealm just on the horizon, each and every one of Shao Khan's warriors were training, meditating, or resting in preparation for the coming slaughter and utter anarchy each would bring upon the hapless realm and its residents.

"Alright boys, you know the rules. Starting bets are two hundred koins per player. Now, who has the ace of spades?"

Well, most of them.

Within the scorching, heated belly of Shao Khan's armory, where masked blacksmiths fashioned and sharpened the weapons of the Outworld's soldiers and assassins from the boiling lava that flowed from underneath the emperor's palace, a poker table and several chairs had been set up, allowing the warriors present to sit as they began their game.

Baraka carefully examined his deck as he leaned back into his chair in an attempt to find a comfortable position. His white and black tunic stood out plainly against the light of the blacksmith's forges as his beady yellow eyes flickered across his hand. He ran his tongue over his fangs before he sighed and lowered his cards to the table with a shake of his head.

"Not me." He glanced across the table to Ermac, who held up his own hand with a bit of his telekinetic energy, "Ermac?"

The soul-infused warrior examined his cards with precision, his glowing green eyes scanning the hand thoroughly as each card caught his eye. With the almost pitch black bandages that enshrouded him from head to toe, as well as his almost stone like posture, it was almost impossible to tell what the man was thinking or planning, something that made him the perfect player for their game.

Ermac shook his head slightly, "We do not have it in our possession."

Glancing around at his fellow players, Reptile flickered in and out of view as he subconsciously activated his camouflage in agitation. With his mask removed and placed carefully under his chair, the Saurian assassin's small but deadly fangs were in plain view to everyone present. As he tapped the table with his talons, he blinked before he began cleaning his eyelids with his prehensile tongue as they were once again fogged up.

"Why are we playing here again Kano?" He hissed as he lowered his cards, "My eyessss are constantly fogging up thankssss to thisss Elder Godssss forsaken steam!"

The leader of the Black Dragons threw the Saurian a glare with both his human eye and his cybernetic implant as he glanced through his cards. Grunting as he pulled out the ace, he placed the card face up in the center of the table before he turned back to face Reptile, who had finished cleaning his eyes and was now scratching at the scales on his chest.

"We've been over this before mate. Shao Khan likes to keep his palace real cool, and this is the only place that isn't as cold as that bloke Sub-Zero's hands. Unless you want to end up as a Popsicle in the big man's freezer, this is the best place to play."

Reptile muttered a few curses in his native tongue before he placed two twos onto the ace, "Fine, but next time we should find a better spot."

He glanced at Baraka, who examined his own cards for a few seconds before he shrugged and placed a few threes onto the pile. The Saurian smirked to himself as he glanced back at his own hand, missing the look he garnered from Ermac as he entertained thoughts of winning the mass of koins.

Ermac glanced away from the Saurian and to his cards before he placed a four of clubs carefully onto the deck, "Kano."

The arms dealer glanced up from his hand to face him, "Hm?"

"Why did you not invite more players?" he questioned. "Surely there is someone else who would be willing to join us?"

Kano shook his head as he placed a card on the pile, "Nah mate. I'll be the first to tell you that there ain't anyone I'd rather play with than you three."

"We do believe that was a Queen you just put down." Ermac said off-handedly before he continued, "What about the Lin Kuei cyborgs, Cyrax and Sektor?"

Kano cursed under his breath and collected the card pile as Reptile and Baraka snickered at his misfortune, "What? Those two 'bots could just use an implanted calculator or something to guess what cards we have. Besides, those two just freak me out." Kano turned to look at the pile of cards and suddenly scowled, "King of clubs? A ten of diamonds! Hey, you've all been lyin'!"

Ermac ignored Kano's outburst and the others laughter as he pondered a bit more, "Noob?"

Baraka growled from across the table as he quickly scanned through his cards, "Last time we played with him, he used Saibot to take a few peeks at our cards." After checking through his deck, he muttered under his breath, "I hate cheaters."

Ermac tapped a finger against his chin in thought, "Scorpion?"

At the mention of the fiery specter, Reptile frowned and rubbed his free hand against his temple, "He wasss a very poor lossser. A couple of nightsss ago, he got very angry after losssing to Kano and flipped the table, crussshing me underneath, before he disssappeared with all our koinsss."

All present winced in sympathy before Ermac continued, "Well, what about Mileena or Sheeva?"

Ermac blinked as all of his fellow players looked at him slack jawed, their respective hands placed on the table as all interest in the game was traded in favor of gawking at the now uncomfortable Ermac. After a few moments of complete and utter silence, save the blacksmith's forging, all three men managed to lift their jaws from the table and close their mouths as they picked up their cards.

Ermac looked around uncomfortably, "What? Was it something we said?"

Kano pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed and put his cards down, "Mate, I know this is your first 'gamble night' thing, but I thought even you could figure this one out."

Ermac blinked again, causing Kano to groan before he turned to Baraka and Reptile, "A little help?"

Baraka glanced at Reptile, who shrugged and placed three sevens face down. Baraka turned to Kano and shook his head, leaving the arms dealer to face Ermac and sigh again.

"Look, you know how there're some things that women, regardless of their race, do by themselves without men? Just like them, men have things we do by ourselves. For instance, we enjoy drinking and gambling a bit more than women. This is exactly why there aren't any women here right now. This is one of those times. Understand?"

Ermac slowly nodded, "Yes, we believe we do. We did not realize there was such distinction between men and women. We will speak to Skarlet in the Soul Chamber about this new information after our game concludes."

Kano grunted, "Good on you mate. Now how about we-wait a minute. Who's Skarlet?"

Once again, all eyes were on the soul-infused warrior, who began to fidget uncomfortably in his seat as he realized his mistake. "S-She is no one. Just another soul Shao Khan recently added to our being." Was it just Kano, or was Ermac actually sweating under his bandages?

Baraka's nose twitched before his small eyes widened, "You're lying. Who is she? A new enforcer for Shao Khan? A lover?" A grin, or rather the Tarkatan equivalent, appeared on his face as he got out of his chair and stepped towards Ermac.

"W-What?" Ermac stammered, "Yes! No! We mean no!"

Ermac backed out of his chair and straight into Kano's chest. The arms dealer laughed, "Oh boy. Whoever this woman is, she must be truly something if ol' Ermac gets reduced to a pile of stammering cotton just thinkin' about her."

Ermac glared at him from through bandages on his face, "B-Be silent. You are just misinformed-"

Both Baraka and Kano snorted as they crossed their arms and stared at him, causing him to fidget even more.

Reptile peered up from behind his cards and gave both the Tarkatan and the arms dealer a strange look, "Why doesss thisss matter to you two? It really isssn't that big of a deal."

Kano turned to face Reptile, "Not a big deal? Mate, our friend here, the most serious and lethal of Khan's enforcers-

"Hey!" Baraka protested.

-is going around and actually loving on a real, breathing woman. That doesn't sound like something major to you?"

Reptile rubbed his chin for a moment before he shrugged, "Not really. Itsss not like they got caught having sex with Mileena when her father wasss in the room next door, or having Kintaro almossst tear them in half because they were 'curiousss' about Shokan women and wanted to experiment with Sheeva."

Silence filtered throughout the entire armory as Baraka scratched his back awkwardly with his arm blade while Kano avoided eye contact and whistled innocently, leaving Ermac to just stare at the both of them and blink and Reptile to snicker under his breath.

He turned to Baraka, "Right next door?"

"Hey! How was I supposed to know the emperor would be raiding the pantry at four in the morning? Besides, it's not like I forced myself on her. She grabbed me from the hallway before I could even react!"

Reptile hissed out a chuckle, "Oh, I'm sure you reacted when her top fell off…" He laughed even harder at Baraka's glare as the Tarkatan angrily threw down an eight of spades and grumbled under his breath.

Ermac turned to the still whistling Kano, casually placed a nine of hearts onto the pile with his powers as he stared at the Black Dragon. "And Sheeva?"

Kano grimaced and continued to look at everything except Ermac as he threw down a ten of clubs, "Eh, I couldn't help but wonder one day just what she could do with an extra pair of hands…even if it did leave me a bit broken and bloody in more than a few ways…"

Ermac raised his hands in a surrendering way, "We would prefer if you did not continue your line of speech for the sake of our well being."

Kano scowled at Ermac and the rest of the players before he shook his head, "Back to the point; who's this Skarlet woman. And don't dodge the question!"

Before Ermac could make a ridiculous attempt to avoid both the question and everyone's stares, a voice stopped him cold and left him speechless.

"Ah, there you are Ermac."

All the warriors present blinked and looked around in confusion before Ermac yelped in surprise.

A pool of blood had flowed from under the table and crawled up the soul-infused warrior's leg and into his lap, where it began to shift and twist until it formed into a woman with unnatural red hair and a mask similar to the one the former princess Kitana wore. With her blood-red clothes and heels, as well as the very apparent blades that adorned her body, it was pretty obvious how the strange woman had gotten her name.

If Ermac wasn't wearing the bandages around his face, Kano was sure he would be blushing bright red as the woman made herself comfortable in his arms, "S-Skarlet! What are you doing here?!"

The Hemomancer rubbed her head against his chest and purred, prompting the other players to stare blankly at Ermac's expression as she curled up in his lap, "Looking for you of course. You did say we would be training tonight, so when you didn't show, I decided to find you."

Ermac looked past the beautiful woman in his arms and stared at the other players pleadingly, silently begging them to help him against the woman's advances.

Kano looked at Reptile, who then looked at Baraka, who then glanced back at the others, before all three fell out of their chairs, laughing till tears threatened to spill from their eyes. It only became worse when they caught sight of Ermac's death glare turn into one of fear as Skarlet began nipping at his neck.

"Well Ermac, I've gotta say, she looks like a keeper." Kano breathed as he got up from the tile and chuckled, "Miss Skarlet, what kind of training do you and Ermac have?"

The woman raised her head and faced Kano before smiling, "Oh, it's called something else, but Ermac always calls it 'endurance training', because we always get-"

Ermac clamped a hand over her mouth before she could finish, "That's enough Skarlet! We would not want you to tell them secrets, would we?" His tone was strained, and everyone could tell he was mortified at her words.

"Oh no, please tell us about this training of yours." Baraka's grin was wide enough to split his face in half, and Reptile's was no different as he snickered.

"Yesss, go on. Which one of you finishesss firssst?"

Skarlet didn't even hesitate, "Oh that's easy. It's always-"

Ermac clamped his hand over her mouth once again, "Well, it was fun playing with you all, but we think it is time for us and Skarlet to leave. Good bye." Without anything more, the soul-infused warrior disappeared in a flash of light with the Hemomancer, leaving Kano, Baraka, and Reptile to laugh the respective arses off.

Once they had caught their breath, Kano turned to Baraka and grinned, "Well, that's one mystery solved. I guess the game's over now, so collect whatever bets you had."

Barak nodded and reached into his pockets, only to frown as he found nothing but lint. "What the- hey! Someone stole all my koins."

"Mine too mate! Reptile what about- hey, where's Reptile?"

The two men looked around in vain before they turned back to each other.

"You don't think he…" Baraka began.

"He did." Kano finished.

On the roof of Shao Khan's palace

"REPTILE!"

The Saurian fell on his back and laughed as the screams of both his fellow players echoed throughout the palace and he began counting up the stolen koins before disappearing into the night.

A/N: I've been playing quite a bit of Mortal Kombat and couldn't help but feel the need to right some Fanfiction on it. I really have no idea how this turned out, so if you wouldn't mind reviewing, it would certainly help.

Sincerely,

kingofsecrets15