It's hard.
Toni wouldn't be able to put a specific time if people would ask her when it started hurting so much. Loving the person you can never have, who you KNOW you can never ever have isn't easy. Loving a person who happens to be Leroy Jethro Gibbs is just asking for a whole new set of heartache.
Oh, and said person also happens to be her more often than not bastard boss.
Stupid is not one of the words that would describe her as a person. Falling for the four times married boss? Now THAT is stupid.
Toni Dinozzo doesn't fall in love. She knows what love does to people, seen it first hand with her parents. How could a person like Gibbs second B for bastard capture her heart when the guys who have so much more going for them can't?
Seeing him at work is barely bearable. Seeing him with his redheads is like knife in her heart. Especially when she knew he would never go for her. She wasn't a redhead, she was a co-worker, a subordinate at that, and most of all he still wasn't over his first wife.
She acts like an idiot at times but she sure as hell isn't stupid enough to think that he would ever love anybody as much as he loved Shannon. She was the dead wife, and in everybody's eyes she would always trump all the girls that came after her.
Working with him was fine, as long as he didn't get too close to her then ok, she can still function.
She doesn't know what she'll do when the time comes that just being in the same room with him would become too much.
She loves NCIS, it's the longest job she'd ever had. And along the way it became her home. She doesn't want to leave her home or Abby, or Ducky or even Tim and Ziva and she doesn't want to leave Gibbs.
The only way she could still keep her job is to put distance between her and Gibbs. Dating a lot also helps. Which brings her back to her present situation.
Toni was feeling pretty down, seeing Gibbs and knowing she can't have him does that to her, so she decided that tonight seemed a good time as any to meet new people. Her friend from New York set her up with the guy she was meeting today. That would probably mean he came from money, she might not be in good relations with her dad, but she still kept in touch with her socialite friends.
She was wearing her classic LBD and her favorite red pumps. Her hair was fixed in loose curls that framed her face and there was just a hint gloss in her lips. That was it, she looked decent enough for the date.
As she was leaving the house, she suddenly realized something, she never asked her friends what the guys name was. They just told her to be at the restaurant at 8 and her blind date would approach her. Damn!
"God, I just hope he isn't a freak." But she wasn't counting on it, it would be oh so typical that her date would either be bastard or a freak.
Sometimes Toni you could be so stupid, it's no wonder that Gibbs would never go for you.
Review Please! Only constructive criticism allowed, no flames.