A/N: So. I found this sitting on my computer, forgotten. I wrote this back in September, but never got around to publishing at the time, for some reason. Though it would have made more sense if it were published then. But oh well. Anyway, enjoy this little Kenny/Butters moment~
Falling
Kenny could remember the late-evening sky of three years ago as clearly as if it had been yesterday. After all—it had been three years ago today that Kenny had found Butters perched precariously on the railing of a bridge.
He could remember the way the waning sunlight illuminated Butters thin frame, conjuring the image of a fallen angel in his minds eye. Butters had smiled softly at him, just like he had done dozens of times before. As if he hadn't refused to come down even when Kenny had begged and pleaded with him.
"Tell me, Ken. What's it like?" The words were spoken so calmly; if Kenny hadn't been able to make out the crazed look in his eyes it would have seemed like any normal conversation. "Dyin', I mean. You have done it before, haven't you?"
Kenny frowned at the sarcasm lacing the question. Butters had never shown any trace of doubt in Kenny's deaths until now. He was the only one Kenny could rely on to take his side in the everlasting debate between himself and the rest of the boys.
But it wasn't as if he could argue with Butters over it now. He chose to ignore the stinging sarcasm.
"Would you come visit me in hell?" Butters eyes shown brightly, his lilting laughter a a stark contrast to his current situation. Butters smile died, his lips forming a thin line as he gazed down at the fast-moving current far below.
"Guess not, huh?" Butters voice shook, and he closed his eyes against the tears threatening to spill. "None of you guys wanted me around, anyways." Kenny could only watch with a morbid fascination as Butters lifted his face to the sky—eyes still closed—and let the wind ruffle his hair.
"Butters," Kenny began, taking a tentative step towards the boy. "I've always wanted you around. You know that."
Butters' light blue eyes settled on him, taking him in. "I—I do know. But ya see, I left myself open for too long, Ken. I left myself open to all the pain and the hurt, and look what they did to me."
Kenny took another step, this one more deliberate. "You think I don't understand that? Fuck, I opened up to you—I let my guard down for one second—and look what you've done."
"Wha...what?" Butters sniffled.
"Sure, when you leave yourself open to someone you're setting yourself up for pain. But maybe... maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe that someone won't break your heart. Hell, maybe they'll show you something you never even knew existed." Kenny smiled sheepishly. "You taught me that, Butters."
Butters let out a choked sob as he tried to fight the tears that were spilling freely now. "H-how could ya say that? I wasn't nothin' but a bother to you!"
"You've never been a bother to me, Butters. Just... come down from there, and let me prove it to you, already!" A hiccup of a laugh escaped Butters as he reached for Kenny's already outstretched hands.
It all happened so quickly from there; one moment Butters was on the railing, and then he was slipping, eyes widened in terror as he grabbed helplessly for something solid. Kenny could remember the brief second when he entertained the thought that this was the end. Only a moment, until Kenny was hauling Butters by the arms back over the railing of the bridge. Back to safety.
Back to him.
"K-Kenny!" Butters choked out, clinging to as much of Kenny as he could. "I-I—"
"Shh, Butters, it's okay." Kenny couldn't tell who was shaking more, Butters or himself. "It's okay, it's okay." He repeated like a mantra. They sat on the sidewalk, wrapped up in each other for what seemed like hours. Eventually the shaking stopped, and Butters' grip on his jacket relaxed just slightly.
When Kenny was sure he had fallen asleep, Butters spoke. "I didn't know." He looked up, into Kenny's eyes, and Kenny was taken aback by the amount of emotion he found in their depths. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry, Buttercup. I should have known. Maybe—maybe I did know, christ, I should've done something sooner—" Butters was quick to silence him, wrapping his arms around Kenny's neck as he launched himself wholeheartedly into kissing the boy in front of him. Those soft lips, moving with unrestrained passion against Kenny's were what had brought him back to that night three years ago.
He cracked a sleepy eye, holding back a yawn as he reached up and ran a hand through Butters' silky hair. It took him a moment to realize that they were back at their small apartment, tucked safely into bed. It couldn't have been later than nine or ten, judging from the light seeping through the obnoxiously purple curtains that Butters had insisted on buying.
"Mornin', sleepy head." Butters told him as he pulled away, a grin on his face. "Do ya know what today is?" With the way Butters was practically bouncing with joy in his lap, it would have been all too easy to forget, to simply haul the boy to his chest and kiss him senseless. But his stomach rumbled and reminded him of the special breakfast he had planned for this morning.
"Of course I do," Kenny said with a grin, leaning back down to kiss Butters anyway. After all, who was he to resist such a cute face? Especially one who was staring up at him with so much affection and adoration that it felt like his heart would explode at any second.
"Happy birthday, Butters."
