Title: Klavier Drives, Phoenix calls shotgun
Author: ALW Sklarvv
Rating: PG-13, language and themes (if you're a sissy)
Genre: Humor? Is really-bad-boredom-writing a genre?
Status: To be released in chapters. Chapter 1 and 2 complete, 3 in the works
Pairing: None (no gaysex for you, hahaha)
Focus: Mainly Phoenix
Time Period: After AJ:AA, with spoilers for Apollo and Phoenix series.
When someone claims that they could "do this in their sleep", they mean to say "I am an expert at this and could do it very well at any time"
When someone claims that they could "do this in their sleep", they mean to say "I am an expert at this and could do it very well at any time".
Phoenix could literally hit the snooze in his sleep. This was quite a feat to do on a cell phone alarm, where you have to press tiny buttons a few times, but he could do it. And apparently he had, several times, because instead of rising to an obnoxious series of high pitched beeping, he woke up to the rhythmic pounding of his daughter's feet on his back.
"Dad! Dad! You're gonna be late!" she warned as she used his spine as a trampoline.
He just groaned, muttered something about selling Trucy to the gypsies, and put his pillow over his head to block out the yelling. This didn't work very well, since the cell alarm went off on the phone inside the pillow case, where it would sound the loudest and so he would have trouble getting at it to add five minutes of sweet, sweet sleep. He reached in and flipped it off again.
"Phoenicholas James Wright," The girl started pissed-offedly, not that she was actually certain of his middle name.((Totally not because those are my father's initials oh no no…)) "I can't believe this. You'll be late and lose your job and we'll have to live in a box and I'll starve to death. Is… Is that what you want?" She tried as hard as she could to sound pitiful and make her voice crack at the end, but it hadn't worked. At least the snoring pillow didn't think so.
Reaching into the pillow case as roughly as she could, Trucy yanked the old cell phone out and put one hand on her hip as she blipped through the menus. "Fine, sleep today. I'll just set the thing to vibrate tomorrow, if that'll make you wake up faster."
The lump under the pillow and blanket twitched violently like it had just been struck. Phoenix stretched out like a cat before sitting up cross-legged. He glared at Trucy with his dark eyes. A few months earlier Phoenix must have bumped the "Volume" tab in his pocket, setting it to vibrate. He hasn't noticed this until 6:40 the following morning, when it went off in his eardrum. It felt just enough like a taser to make him fling it across the room screaming like a little girl, where it hit the wall. The birth of the masking-taped battery tab.
He held out his hand and forced a sour smile to crack across his red face. "That isn't fair. Why can't you forget things like a normal person?"
Trucy beamed and tapped the phone to the top of her head, indicating the vast knowledge within. "An elephant never forgets," she pointed out. Obvious reason, really.
He reached out and pulled Trucy into a teddy bear hug and held it for a moment to kiss her forehead before yanking the phone out of her hand. He peered at it for a moment, and tapped her lightly over the head with it. "Remember now?"
Still tired from chasing his daughter around the apartment laughing and hitting her with a phone in his boxers, Mr. Wright caught his breath. He should probably check to see if the old thing could still work, even if he hadn't hit her that hard. Pulling the phone out of his pocket, it looked fine, but so much button-to-scalp action had brought the phone to the "Calendar" menu. A really old one.
Only one day was marked, so he clicked on it. He sat, totally still, for a full two minutes before tipping his head back on the headrest and putting his hand over his eyes.
How could I have let myself forget this…?