If Jasper had a diary… he'd name it Kevin!

Dear Diary,

I should think of a name for you… Kevin? -teehee- I like that name! Okay, well today Alice and I went to -insertnameofrandomsupercenterhere- to get some food for Bella, and I saw Jacob Black and co.; it sort of went down like this…

Alice and I walked into -insertnameofrandomconvenientstorehere- with a shopping list and a Visa Card. First, we walked down the fruit/vegetable isle.

"The list says 'generic fruits and veggies'." Alice said, scratching her head.

I looked at the items available and then at her. "Huh?"

"It means the most common ones, but Jasper, I've heard of all of them. Should we get one of everything?"

I couldn't answer he question, I was fixed on a target. Beef jerky.

She traced my line of vision and looked at me. "Ugh! Little red flag going up partner. I can't see anything." she warned.

"But, Alice! It's beef jerky! Do you know how much I loved beef jerky?" I shouted, jumping up and down.

"Stop it Jasper! You look like an upset five year old!" she hissed, looking around.

"We have to get some for Bella!" I growled, heading in that direction.

"Jasper no!"

When I got to the rack, another hand was grabbing for the same package. I traced the hand to its owner. It took me aback. "Jacob?" I asked, looking at him oddly.

"Oh! You're one of Bella's friends right?" he asked. "I thought you don't eat."

"It's for Bella." I murmured.

"I'll buy it!" he smiled.

"No! I wanna buy it!"

"No! I want to!"

And before you knew it, we were fighting over a bag a beef jerky.

"Jasper, LET GO!" Alice shouted, pulling on my arm.

"No! It's for Bella!" I growled.

"Jasper, it's not on the list!" she warned.

Suddenly, I had an idea. "Look! A sale on dog shampoo!" I shouted, pointing.

Jacob suddenly let go and looked behind him enthusiastically, "Where?" he shouted.

I laughed hysterically and ran for the checkout. The teen at the counter looked at me and blew a bubble with her gum. "Would you like to apply for an -insertnameofrandomsupercenterhere- credit card?" she asked, blowing another bubble.

"No! Just hurry! Some guy wants my beef!" I shouted, drumming on the counter.

She paused a minute before responding. "Will that be all for you?" she smacked her gum.

"Yes, yes!"

"Credit or Debit?" she asked, looking at me.

"Erm, Debit?" I asked randomly.

"Sign here."

I scribbled the name on the card and ran out the door with my beef jerky. Laughing hysterically. When I got into the Porsche, I drove off toward the house.

"Ooh! Wait 'till I get home and tell Alice-" I slammed on the break. "Damn it!"

Something tapped on my window and I looked out it.

She waved her finger and she mouthed, 'Get out of the car.'

I opened the door and she flicked my ear. "What did I do?"

"You leave me in -insertnameofrandomsupercenterhere- with a pack of werewolves, and you have the nerve to ask me, what you did?" she hissed, getting in the car.

"No, no Alice!"

But I was too late; her car disappeared in to a cloud of smoke. I kicked the dirt and looked down. My head snapped up when I realized, "She took the jerky!" I shouted, running toward her car.

So yeah. In the end, Alice had actually driven to Charlie's house and given it to him. I guess my advice for the day is:

"If your wife throws you out of the car, make sure you get your beef jerky first."

Well that's it for now.

- Jasper

-Note to self- Bunnies make me all tingly inside!

If Emmett had a diary… now that would be frightening. -Le Gasp!-