Ever wondered what was going through Carl's mind during The Walking Dead season 2 finale? Well, here's my take on it. You don't have to like it, but I do hope you enjoy it. I don't remember every single detail of the finale, so just bear with me, it's not perfect.
So, enjoy! :)
It's just as easy as point and shoot, thought Carl.
His heart was pounding through his chest like a hammer beating away. He felt the cold sweat slowly tricking down his neck. His palms were slippery with sweat so that he struggled to have a grip on the gun.
He saw his father, Rick, coming towards him. He was trying to tell Carl something, but Carl's ears couldn't pick up a sound. His father's words were muffled and gurgled; it was as if he was underwater. His eyesight was blurred, and he saw nothing but shapes and black masses. But Carl saw the all-too familiar shape rise up. It was Shane. Shane, the man who tried to replace Rick as a leader of their group and as a father to Carl and husband to Lori. Shane, the man who Carl had befriended and looked up to at the dawn of the apocalypse. Carl knew this for a long time.
Carl saw his father and Shane argue on the field not too far from the farm. He snuck out through a window and sneaked up on Rick and Shane, carrying a loaded gun. He knew that if he used it, there would be no turning back. It was the point of no return, but he was determined to fight for his father. He couldn't bear the thought of losing him again.
But now, as he saw his father walking towards, he knew his father was saying words of comfort, although Carl couldn't hear a thing. It's gonna be alright, Rick said as Carl imagined it in his mind. He saw Shane behind his father, approaching faster and quicker with every step. Shane's fast-paced walk was accompanied stumbles and dragging feet; Carl came to the conclusion that Shane was a walker, although he witnessed the whole event where Rick killed Shane and there were no walkers around, he didn't understand why Shane had all of sudden became a walker. It confused him. And as Shane came closer and closer, in his mind he saw the man who had saved him and his mom, the man who taught him how to catch frogs, and the man who made him laugh, and realized that that man had been long gone. He had to think of his father now, and he to put Shane out of his misery. With his gun pointed straight ahead, his heart pounding through his chest louder than ever, the sound of his breath and nothing else...he pulled the trigger...and Shane's body went down. After that moment, his heart was beating slower and slower with every second as he tried to grasp the situation he found himself in. His palms were less sweaty and he didn't feel that cold sweat trickling down his neck anymore. His eyesight cleared up and he could distinctly see his father, Shane's body, the woods, the stars and the moon. He hearing cleared up too, and heard the ringing of the blast for a brief moment, the sound of his breath and of his father's, the sound of crickets, and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees.
All was in peace.
Silence. That was between him and Carl as they walked back to Hershel's farm. Nothing could be heard but the sound of their own footsteps, rustling through the leaves.
Carl was a little shaky, but he refused to be seen like that. He shot his first walker, and not just any walker... it had to be Shane. A sense of sadness and guilt came over him. But I had no choice, though Carl, He was going to kill Dad. I need Dad now, more than ever. More than he knows. Although, Carl knew the answers, he still had to ask Rick, "What happened?" He saw Rick take a deep breath, "Were you guys attacked?" He kept looking back and forth between the ground and his dad. "I mean, I heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any walkers nearby," continued Carl, but still, no answer came from Rick. He was just quiet, didn't say a word, and kept on walking. "How did Shane die?" asked Carl, but he knew how. He knew about everything. There was no point in asking, but he still wanted to hear the truth, and most importantly he wanted hear the truth from Dad.
It was the only thing that would assure him that what was happening was real, that it wasn't just a bad dream that he can wake from.
Rick finally decided to stop. He stared deeply into his son's eyes. Carl could see in his eyes a struggle within. A struggle to find the right words to say. His father's chest moved in and out as he tried to catch his breath. Still, he didn't say anything. Carl, waiting, began to feel anger rising in him, along with hurt. Dad, please say something, thought Carl. He wanted to say those words out loud, too.
All of sudden, there were strange noises coming from Carl's left-hand side, coming from the woods, almost like a low grumbling, humming noise. He looked up at his father and realized that he wasn't the only one who heard those noises. Carl decided to look away from his father and out into the woods. Oh no! It was like a parade of walkers, parading onto Hershel's farm. Carl had never seen so many before. The walkers reminded him of those people he saw on television on New Year's Eve in those crowded cities. There were so many!
He felt a tight grip on his arm, and realized that his father was pulling him back towards the farm. "Oh my God!" said Rick.
Carl took off with Rick following close behind his heels. Carl's heart, again, was pounding. It felt as if there was something alien-like that was hammering away through his ribs and chest, and that in any minute now, it would burst and set itself free. His legs and thighs began to cramp up, and with the cold air, it felt like a thousand icy needles that penetrated deep; past his skin, past his tissues and muscles, and right down to the core of his bones. It was starting to hurt real badly, but he continued to run. It was a matter of life and death. There were no other options.
Carl was running at full speed when he felt a tug on his arm. He was ready to scream, thinking it was one of the walkers who managed to get a hold on him, but instead, he looked up and saw his father. "Come over here," he said. And he noticed that there were already a few walkers who had managed to make it to the farm's front lawn. Instead, Rick took him into the barn and quickly shut the doors and barricaded them. It was less than a minute before walkers started to surround the entrance. Oh God, thought Carl. What do we do? What do we do? He noticed his father, taking in deep breaths, looking around the barn frantically, as if he was trying to find another option to escape the walkers and survive. Carl, on the other hand, just stared at him, clueless on what to do next. This is it, isn't it, he thought, this is the end of us. He imagined how his mother would cope when she discovers that her husband and son didn't survive the ambush. It would break her heart, but she still had someone to love and care for, her unborn child. Even though Carl will never get a chance to be a big brother. They'll meet again, one day, maybe in Heaven. Heaven. The word seems to sink in. He had told Carol that the idea of a Heaven was stupid, and now Carl regrets those words. He couldn't bring to himself that he had said such a thing to Carol, especially after she lost her daughter. Carl missed Sophia, and come to think of it, if he died (and probably will), he'll get to hang out with Sophia again. That actually didn't seem too bad at all.