The Inescapable Truth
Lily Evans had always prided herself on her sensibility and willingness to submit to reason; it was one of the things over which she had bonded with her best friend, Alice. Unfortunately for Lily, however, Alice (being a whole school year ahead of her, despite their six month age gap) and her grounding presence were no longer at Hogwarts to keep Lily on the straight and narrow.
It would be almost optimistic to assume that Lily would manage without her – who else did she have to turn to for reasonable, sensible help? Her roommates were a definite 'no', unless she was in need of ridiculous gossip or fashion advice. Her ex-best friend was an even more definite (if such a sentiment existed) no-go, especially on this particular subject.
And so it was that Lily resorted to her fellow Gryffindor prefect, Remus Lupin.
Wednesday patrol seemed as good an opportunity as any to broach the subject with him.
"Remus," she asked nonchalantly, "can I ask you something?"
As he peered around the doorway of an empty classroom, he murmured, "Well, technically you already have, but go ahead."
Lily sighed. "I, um, well, it's about James," she started.
Remus tensed momentarily, but continued walking down the corridor as if he were not fazed by this opening in the slightest. In reality, he was immensely apprehensive – James had decided just over a month ago that he had had enough of his constant rejections and was going to stop 'wooing' (Sirius' term, not his) Lily; he had been almost depressed since then, and Remus was now getting very worried about him.
"It's just," Lily paused; she didn't quite know how to express herself, "he's not... I mean, he hasn't... He's just..." By the time she had tried three times to begin, Remus had turned to her, a look of slight concern adorning his face. Lily took a deep breath. "Well, he hasn't asked me out in over a month..." She trailed off, seeing the confusion on her companion's face.
Remus blinked at her a few times, then, in a manner with a distinct and unusual lack of eloquence replied, "What?"
"I'm worried about him."
Coughing nervously, Remus asked, "He's finally done what you've been begging him to do for years, and now that he has, you're worried about him?" Lily confirmed this with a nod. Remus simply slid down the wall to sit on the floor, gesturing with a hand for Lily to join him.
"Why exactly is this cause for distress?" he questioned.
Looking down at her knees, Lily mumbled, "I never expected him to actually stop." Remus did not respond, so she continued, in a voice so quiet it would have been inaudible, had he not had such delicate hearing (a small benefit granted by the wolf). "I quite miss it, to be honest".
At that, Remus could not help but gasp and sigh simultaneously. It was Sod's Law, he supposed, that as soon as James vowed to treat Lily professionally and as a friend only, she decided that she wanted him to continue as he'd always done.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Remus turned to look at Lily. "But why does that worry you?"
She looked up from her knees, a frown on her face. "I don't understand."
"Why does it worry you that James has stopped asking you out," he explained.
"Oh," she replied, blushing lightly, "I just thought that maybe he'd... moved on to someone else." From his expression, Lily could tell that this wasn't a good answer.
"So you're allowed to kiss whoever you want to, you're allowed to date whoever you like, you're allowed to fall in bloody love with whoever you choose, but Prongs can't even ask anyone else out to Hogsmeade?" he exclaimed. "Lily, don't you see how much of a freaking hypocrite you're being?" His chest was rising and falling visibly, such was the emotion with which he spoke.
"I never thought of it like that" she whispered, more to herself than out loud.
Remus laughed sarcastically. "No, of course you didn't, Evans." His use of her surname did not evade her. Rising with a slight struggle (the full moon had only been the day before), he added "Maybe you should go and think about it a bit more." Lily, for her part, looked sufficiently ashamed of herself to partially placate him.
She began to speak, but Remus cut her off. "Regardless," he added vindictively, "it's too late now; he's 'given you up'."
Watching her friend stride down the corridor without even a glance back at her, Lily Evans realised exactly how blind she had been. The sensible part of her told her to forget about Potter (she'd never even liked him). The reasonable part of her told her that she was being unfair to him (why shouldn't he move on?).
The emotional part of her told her that it wasn't fair, that she deserved his attention, and most importantly, that she needed his love. Because, as she had just realised, she was almost ready to return it.
Author's Note: I wrote this in a rush, so I'm sorry about any mistakes (feel free to point them out) and my poor writing. I'm think of continuing this, but please tell me if you think I should. I hope you enjoyed :)
