-I wrote this for two of my best friends who each gave me 5 words to put in it. And they forced me to put it on here. *shrugs* Oh well. (I don't own anything)-
"AHHHHH!"
Ron went running out of his dormitory and into the common room.
"HELP!"
He ran and hid behind the couch that Seamus was sitting on. Seamus stared at him with concern.
"You alright, Ron?" He asked, turning around on the couch and looking down at Ron over the back of it.
"NO! THERE'S A ROBOT IN OUR DORM!" Ron uncovered his face and took in his surroundings. Him and Seamus were the only ones in the common room. "Where is everyone?"
"Hermione chased them all away with her rights for elves thing, or something. I just remember her ranting about elves feet..."
"Oh." Ron stood back up and stared hard at Seamus. "Will you come help me get rid of the robot?"
"What kind of robot?" Seamus asked, standing up and heading to the stairs that led to their dorm. Ron was following closely behind him.
"Well, it's...not...big," Ron started, nervously. "But, it chases me around and shoots out-"
"Lube?" Seamus interuppted upon opening the door and looking around the room. He noticed all the oily liquid that covered the random things in the room here and there.
"Eh, yeah." Ron ducked back behind Seamus as the robot came rolling out of the bathroom. "THERE IT IS! KILL IT KILL IT!"
Seamus rolled his eyes, muttered a spell and sent the robot flying out the window. He turned around to give Ron a big smile, only to see Ron's horror stricken face.
"Y-you okay?" Seamus asked.
"Sp-spider...," Ron mumbled, pointing at Seamus' shoulder before fainting upon the feet of his knight in shining armor.
Seamus picked Ron up and dragged him to his own bed for it was the closest one near them. He laid him on it and then sat next to him. Then he remembered the spider and started wiping off his shoulder like a spazz. When he was sure that he was rid of it, he calmed down and started to gently nudge Ron awake.
"Ron, ron!"
Ron just rolled over and mumbled some gibberish. So Seamus nudged him a little bit harder. This didn't help the situation, it only caused Ron to grab Seamus by the wrist and pull him down.
"Oh great," Seamus mumbled. He went to get back up, but Ron's hold began to tighten.
"Spiders...," Ron said, waking up.
"No more spider, Ron," Seamus said.
"Ornament..."
"The hell you talking about!"
"W-wha happened?" Ron asked, releasing his hold on Seamus and sitting up.
"Um, a spider," Seamus said, standing up and gripping his arm nervously.
"Oh." Ron sat there for a moment, then, "THE ROBOT!"
"I got rid of it."
"Yes! Thank you," Ron said. "That thing has been chasing me ever since I got up this morning."
"Why was it squirting lube?" Seamus said, sitting back down on the bed, looking thoughtful. "Someone probably set it loose on you." Seamus laughed to himself.
"You're probably correct on that one," Ron said, staring at Seamus. "Wouldn't surprise me if it had been George and Fred that did it, ever since I told them I was gay they just pile the jokes and pranks on me!"
"You're gay?" Seamus asked, staring up at Ron. He had to stare up because Ron was another head taller than him.
"Yeah," Ron said, embarrassed. He grabbed the blanket and covered himself up with it to hide from Seamus.
"I never knew," said Seamus. He pulled the blanket back where Ron had just pulled it up over his head. "I'm gay, too, you know."
"Yeah, everybody knows that." Ron started to blush and tried to pull the blanket back up to cover his face.
Then Harry ran in the dorm and ran right over to them.
"There's a fucking cloud shaped like a cock! Fuckin' A!" Harry said and fist pumped.
An awkward silence followed.
"Well, I figured I'd tell you guys, I thought you'd get excited, but never mind." Then Harry left, and about 5 minutes after he left they heard, 'Malfoy! Zabini! There's a fucking cloud shaped like a cock!' Followed by, 'Language, Potter. Now show me this cloud' which had came from Snape.
"That was...strange," Seamus said, laughing.
"Yeah, and...FALCON GROPE!" At this, Ron reached down and grabbed Seamus' butt.
"Whoa!" Seam started with a smile. "If you wanted some, why didn't you just ask?"
The two started snogging. Seamus was holding Ron's face and Ron had his arms wrapped tightly around Seamus. "We really could have used that robot about now." Seamus thought to himself.
"You know, you're the reason I figured out I'm gay," Ron said, pressing his forehead on Seamus'. "I saw you strutting about, and I couldn't help but stare at your ass."
"Haha. Thanks, I guess." Seamus started to kiss him softly down his neck. "So, what does this make us?"
"Hopefully more than friends. And maybe even...lovers?" Ron asked shyly.
"This is some fucking delicious chocolate, Professor Sanpe! Can I have some more!" Harry's voice interrupted them. 'The hell?' they both thought.
"Again with the language, Potter."
"Oh shut up! Your cock looks like grandma cookies!" Then they heard Snape screaming obscene words and it was getting fainter so they figured that he was chasing after Harry, or running away from him.
Then Ron fell off the bed. "Fuck, I cut my finger!"
"What did you cut your finger on?" Seamus said, sliding off the bed next to Ron.
"I dunno'. Something hard though."
"Well, I'll go get you some band-"
"Potter! I'm gonna' fuckin' cut you!"
"Was that Snape?" Seamus asked.
"Heh. Harry's an asshole." Ron said. "But Snape deserves-"
"Just try and catch me you greasey git!" Harry interrupted.
"Oh fuck, just forget it."