ByakuMama

ByakuMama, RenjiPapa

Chapter One: Feeling Unwell

The usually stern taichou of the sixth division was bent over the toilet bowl in his office's toilet, vomiting. He wiped his mouth and glared at his own reflection in the mirror.

Since when did he look so utterly horrible? He thought angrily. Although unknown to many, Byakuya thought a lot about his looks. To him, having a pretty face was a very important thing.

Hmm… should I go visit Unohana taichou? Maybe she will have a cure for this…

Gathering his thoughts, he was about to shunpo out of his office when his fukutaichou walked into the office, looking half-asleep. Renji slammed the door after him. Byakuya winced.

"Renji! Is there a need to look so sloppy in the morning?" Byakuya snapped.

"It is not my fault that I did not get enough sleep! You spent the whole night in the toilet vomiting! Go and see Unohana for a cure! There is no point getting up during the middle of the night to vomit for 2 weeks!" Renji shouted back.

What? I thought I made extra care not to wake him up! Since when was he awake?

"Byakuya? Is there any reason that you are feeling unwell?" Renji asked softly, regretting his outburst.

Byakuya snapped out of his stupor and looked at his lieutenant. What did he say? "Erm… Maybe I should visit Unohana taichou. However, on one condition, no word of me being unwell should travel out. Do you understand?" Byakuya glared at Renji.

Oh gods. Those lovely grey eyes, so unforgiving so unfeeling. I just want to…

"Do you understand?" Byakuya hissed, narrowing his eyes.

"If anyone hears of this, especially Ichigo, you are so dead."

Renji nodded dumbly.

I wonder what is up with Bya-Chan. He usually isn't so moody most of the time. Usually, he is so full of life, not that he shows it to other people. Now, it feels like he is trying to hide himself from me…

¬Later that day¬

Byakuya walked down the corridors of the sixth division. Heads bobbled up and down in greeting to him. He silently acknowledged them as he continued his way to the exit. He was going to the captains' meeting. What captains' meetings were for, Byakuya never understood. Usually, Captains will just quarrel over trivial matters until soutaichou had enough and dismissed. Captains' Meeting usually lasted for hours. Although he did not show it, Byakuya absolutely hated standing for four hours straight.

The Kuchiki etiquette had a rule: Never slouch. Slouching is for people from Rukongai! Kuchikis are much above that!

Inwardly, Byakuya hated etiquette lessons. No one could blame him for that. The high and mighty Kuchiki elders were always telling him off when he was young, and his father and mother did not help much either. They were both powerful shinigamis, and were always away from home. When they were at home, they made sure that every minute of his time was spent on learning the 5000 over rules that a Kuchiki from the head family must keep to.

Byakuya did not find knowing how to draw important. He never knew how to draw. His drawings were worst than Rukia. Whenever, he heard the orange- haired ryoka laughing at Rukia's drawings the same thing would always happen. If the Strawberry was laughing at Rukia's art, which was better than his own, it means that that idiot was laughing at his art!

¬Flashback¬

"Hahaha! Ohmygawd! Haaaaahaaa!" Ichigo gasped for air. He had choked on his ramen. His hand held a scrapbook of Rukia. One picture was a picture of two rabbits supposedly with Byakuya and Renji's faces. There was a badly drawn heart shape as the background.

"If you hadn't written their names at the bottom, I would have thought they were both extraordinarily ugly hollows and took out my zanpakuto and killed them!" Ichigo snickered as he held the book out of Rukia's reach, which was not hard at all.

It was then when Byakuya felt furious. How dare he say that Rukia's drawings were bad? That orange haired brat was insulting his art too! So that brat wanted to take out his zanpakuto? Very well.

"Scatter Senbonzakura" Byakuya hissed, his eyes filled with hatred for Ichigo. Ichigo turned around, and yelped, only to be nearly shredded into bits by one thousand petals that glowed with anger.

Rukia, on the other hand, gave her true blood onichan a smile and smirked evilly as Ichigo screamed.

¬End of Flashy¬

Other than those etiquette lessons that gave Byakuya nightmares, and still do, there was just another thing, the finding of a wife. Byakuya had been single all the time since he was born until he saw Renji. The elders were always croaking at him to get him to find a wife. "A wife!" They would shout. "A wife that is pretty and give you heirs. A wife to serve you! Go get a wife!" They organised balls and many different boring social gatherings where the four main noble families and the lower nobles will gather. They always made Byakuya attend the ceremonies. Byakuya always attended, he knew that was the best way to get the elders to shut up. No, cancel those words. Rule number 89: A Kuchiki clan head never uses rude words.

The elders will never stop bothering him until he attends the gatherings. They will go on and on and on, berating him about the importance of getting a match.

But, no matter what, the only person he will dance with is Rukia, his sister. The four main noble families were always supposed to dance the first dance, so, after the first dance, he and Rukia will shunpo out of the manor before the elders will start bearing down on both of them to get matches.

Byakuya entered the meeting room. The rest of the captains were already there, making a lot of noise. Kenpachi seemed to have drunk a lot of sake; he stunk up the whole room.

"Oh there's the pretty boy!" Kenpachi grinned before he fell forward and collapsed on Byakuya. Nearly. Byakuya neatly stepped to a side and let Kenpachi sprawl on the ground.

Unohana, who was engaged in conversation with Shunsui, Jyuushiro and Soifong, broke away to give Kenpachi medical attention.

"Idiot." Soifong muttered.

"Now, now." Shunsui said, "Don't talk about men who are drunk like that. You never know the troubles men face. You sound exactly like my Nanao Chan." He ended off, with tears running down his face.

"Shut up!" Soifong yelled, giving a punch at Shunsui's jaw. Oops. Another casualty.

Byakuya sighed, resisting the urge to rub his temples wearily. All he wanted to do now was to find Renji, and lie in his warm embrace.

There was a pounding on the wooden floor. Thank kamisama. Shigekuni finally arrived. The captains fell silent. Byakuya did not know how long more he could stand the buzz with his headache.

"Ahem! Today we are going to discuss about the appearance of hollows in the living world after Aizen has been defeated. Soifong taichou, please give your views on this incident."

When most of the captains had finished speaking, Byakuya's world slowly began to black out in blotches. He heard the old man saying "Kuchiki taichou, what are your views?" very faintly in the background.

Then he fell to the floor.

The rest of the captains stared at the fallen Kuchiki Taichou. Even when falling, he fell in a graceful arc. It was as if he had even taken etiquette lessons on the various ways of falling. That, unknown to the other captains he did.

Unohana blinked twice before shunpoing to Byakuya's side. No one had seen the great and powerful Kuchiki taichou collapse before other than the time when he took Ichimaru's blade for Rukia, and this time, he were in a meeting room, with no outbursts of spiritual power whatsoever.

"Unohana, Shunsui, Jyuushiro, please bring Kuchiki taichou to the 4th division, after that tell his lieutenant Abarai Renji to take over." Yamamoto soutaichou rasped.

"Hai! Yama-ji!" Shunsui said, inclining his head slightly. He and Jyuushiro grabbed hold of one arm each and literally dragged and shunpoed him all the way to the fourth division.

¬At the fourth division¬

Babble broke out in the fourth division as the two senior captains and Unohana grimly carried the 6th division captain to a resting room.

"I think I will let him rest before giving him a medical check up." Unohana muttered. "He looks tired out. Please inform Abarai san and maybe Rukia chan." The other two captains nodded before disappearing in a whirl of white, and in Shunsui's case a swirl of pink and a smell of sake.

¬At the 6th division¬

"What Byakuya fainted? When?" Renji shouted.

"During the captains' meeting. So as his lieutenant, you will have to take over for the time when he is ill." Since when have you been on a first name basis with him?

"Hell no! I am going to see him!" Renji shouted, his red hair waving in the wind. A second later, he disappeared.

Then it hit Shunsui. He grinned to himself. Ah… Young love. I must tell Jyuuchan!

¬At the 13th division¬

"Onichan fainted?" Rukia asked in astonishment, her eyes a wide.

Ichigo, who was beside her, sniggered. "I was wondering when that will happen!"

Rukia lost her temper. "Kido spell number 30, red cannonball!" With that, a big fireball flew at Ichigo's face.

Ichigo yapped, getting out of the way. A huge crater formed in the wall behind them. The captain sighed.

"Rukia, you can go and see him, Unohana has given you her permission. As for your fukutaichou duties, Kiyone and Sentarou will take over for the moment."

The two said 3rd seats burst into the room, apparently eavesdropping outside.

Kiyone shouted, "Taichou, don't trust Sentarou, his paperwork is horrible!"

"Nonsense!" the other 3rd seat shouted.

Rukia raised her eyebrow ever so slightly and narrowed her eyes, looking exactly like her brother.

"Some no mai, tsukishiro…" A white ribbon flew out and hit the two 3rd seats knocking them on the stomach and causing them to fall on their knees. Rukia coldly said, " I have no interest in which one of you is better. If my paperwork is not perfect, both of you are in trouble."

"H…Hai!", the two 3rd seats answered together before glaring at each other. Rukia sighed.

"Taichou, I will take my leave then." She said.

Jyuushiro smiled and reminded her, "Papa will do, no need for Taichou."

"Hai." Rukia replied with a smile before dragging Ichigo and shunpoing to the 4th division.

¬4th division¬

Byakuya felt very dizzy and wanted to throw up. He groaned as he opened his eyes a fraction. Oh no! He swore internally as he did not recognise his surroundings. He bolted up immediately just as the door opened.

"Ah! Kuchiki taichou, you are awake. You have a visitor. He may come in for only fifteen minutes before I start running your tests."

Byakuya nodded wearily as Unohana motioned for his 'visitor', which was none other than…

"Byachannnnn! Are you alright?" A certain red-haired pineapple shouted, before earning a well-deserved glare from Unohana.

Renji pranced to the side of the bed while Unohana smiled and exited the room. It did not escape Renji's eyes that his Bya-chan was very tired. He leaned down and kissed Byakuya when the door swung open.

"Onnnniiiiichannnnn!" A small blur entered pulling a orange-haired strawberry along. Oops wrong timing.

The two men who were caught in 'action' leapt apart from each other, blushing very hard. In fact, Renji was blushing so furiously that his face was redder than his hair.

Ichigo smirked while Rukia tried not to look at her brother and her friend.

"Rukia, what are you here for?" Byakuya inquired.

The younger Kuchiki brightened up significantly, as she looked up and pulled books from her sleeves. "I brought you your favourite books! There's 'How to improve your kido', 'History of Sereitei', 'Adventures of CHAPPY THE BUNNY!'!"

Ichigo gaped. Byakuya reading the stupid kido and history books is expected. But Chappy the Bunny? Blackmail information!!

Byakuya blushed even more as he reached out for the books and placed it on his bedside table.

Ichigo smirked, "Now we know where Rukia inherits her love of those stupid bunnies from."

Byakuya, (forgetting to blush, in his urgency to protect his favourite Chappy) and Rukia gave their famous Kuchiki death glare(s).

Ichigo was creeped out. They looked so alike...

"Never ever insult Chappy in front of me!" Byakuya growled, unsheathing his sword. "Scatter Senbonzakura!"

Ichigo screamed bloody murder as the pretty pink petals chased him around the room. He slammed into the door when it was opened and fell with a great thump. Byakuya, taking advantage, commanded Senbonzakura to attack him.

High-pitched screams could be heard everywhere in Sereitei.

Unohana stood at the door, gaping at the scene in front of her. Suddenly she realised her mouth was turning dry and closed it.

"Please leave the room Kurosaki, Rukia-chan and Abarai fukutaichou. Fifteen minutes is up and I have to run medical tests for Kuchiki Taichou." She said.

Rukia gave her brother a wave and pulled the badly beaten up strawberry out of the room as Byakuya sheathed his sword. Dark red eyes met gray eyes as Renji gave his Bya-chan's hand a squeeze.