Disclaimer: Death Note and all its characters belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.
I watched the moonlight dance across the water as I walked along the shore. My heart yearned for something. Instinctively, my feet led me to this place. I sensed his presence before I turned my gaze from the water.
"Hello Light."
"Hello." I looked into his dark eyes. They made my heart skip a beat.
"The stars are beautiful tonight." He said not really looking at the sky.
"Yes, they are beautiful." I obviously wasn't talking about the stars. He blushed from my compliment, but I could tell by his shy smile that he was pleased.
The wind blew a lock of hair into his eyes. Impulsively, I reached up and brushed it aside. I traced his jaw tenderly with my fingers. He trembled when I touched him, but his eyes beckoned me to come closer. Keeping my eyes locked into his gaze, I slowly leaned in to kiss him. I brushed by lips against his – just long enough to get a taste. I was teasing myself as much as him. I wanted to draw this moment out as long as possible. I pulled back a little to see his face more clearly. There was a mixture of bliss and desire in his dark eyes.
"Why do you have to be so damned enticing?" I couldn't hold back any longer. I pressed my lips to his, wrapped my arms around him, and began kissing him in earnest. My head began to spin as my senses went into overload. I was becoming lost in his embrace, but I didn't care. In fact, I would be perfectly happy to stay lost in this paradise forever. This is what you've been searching for all along my heart informed me. I couldn't deny that it felt so right holding L in my arms and tasting his sweet lips.
Suddenly I was jolted back into consciousness. Damn it, not another one! I tried in vain to calm myself down. Sweating profusely and breathless, I had endured ten long nights filled with pent up desire. Of course, the fact that the object of my desire was handcuffed to me, and so close I could feel his warm body, didn't help. I'd been dreaming about L virtually every night since we'd been handcuffed together.
Desperately I tried to reason with myself. How could I be attracted to L? There are so many women I could be with. Misa's image immediately came to my mind. After all, she's supposed to be my girlfriend. Logically I knew she was beautiful, but for some reason, I simply did not desire her. I looked over at L and instantly my intense longing returned. Impulsively I wrapped my arm around him and snuggled closer.
L moaned softly and rolled toward me. His face was so close and I could feel his breath. It was intoxicating and enticing! I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him into a gentle kiss. He awoke with a start and stared at me in wide-eyed shock, but instead of pushing me away, he returned my kiss. Before long, his hand was entangled in my hair and he was kissing me passionately. I tenderly ran my tongue across his lips and they parted, eagerly accepting me in.
I reveled unabashedly in his presence. Every touch, every caress created within me an ecstasy I had never in my life experienced. As we made love, I felt the walls I had carefully and purposely fashioned around my heart begin to slowly crumble.
I awoke the next morning with L still lying comfortably in my arms. I looked at his beautiful face and wondered how something like this could have happened so easily. I had always been taught that this kind of relationship was wrong. Although I knew it would destroy my father's plans for my future, I simply could not deny that I was attracted to L. Rather than giving me comfort, it scared the hell out of me.
While I was pondering my fate, L woke up. I blushed uneasily as I watched the expression on his face go from confusion to realization. He grinned uncomfortably. "Well, this was unexpected."
"I…I'm sorry," I stammered awkwardly as I pushed myself away. "It won't happen again." I got up abruptly and made a dash for the bathroom only to be thrown forcefully back toward the bed. I forgot about the handcuffs. This is definitely going to be much more difficult than before. The only time L would allow our handcuffs to be removed was when we were changing our clothes. "Um…" my voice wavered as I strove to keep my emotions under control. "I need to take a shower."
As I studied the data on Kira, I wondered what I would have done differently if I were him. Virtually every move he made was carefully planned and skillfully executed. After about an hour, I made the disconcerting discovery that I would have acted in exactly the same manner. Is it possible that I'm Kira after all? If so, then I must also have wanted to kill L. No! That's not possible. I looked over at L. He was studying the data about the current Kira. Once again I felt incredibly drawn to him. I remembered the first time I'd met him. I was struck by the intelligence I sensed behind his innocent dark eyes. I had always loved solving puzzles, and here was L, the most challenging puzzle I had ever discovered.
"What is it?" L asked hopefully. "Did you find something?"
"No, I was just thinking." I quickly focused my attention on the data I'd been studying. Forcing a studious expression on my face I wondered what the hell I was doing staring at him like a love sick school girl. I have got to be more careful. Everyone here, with the exception of Matsuda, is extremely perceptive. What would happen if someone else had noticed me mooning over L? What if my father had seen me? Calm down! I've got to calm down. I was acutely aware that L was still watching me. It took every ounce of my willpower not to look into his eyes.
I tried desperately to concentrate on the statistics I was supposed to be calculating. I rubbed my temples as I contemplated the emotional turmoil that I'd been wrestling with all day. Although I had already come to terms with my physical attraction to L, I was still confused about how I felt about him emotionally. I had gradually come to acknowledge him as a friend, but in light of what happened last night, the term friend just didn't seem to apply anymore. God, what a mess! Could this day get any
worse? Of course it could, I reflected uncomfortably. I'd promised Misa yesterday I would see her tonight.
"Why can't we have just a few hours alone?" Misa whined for the third time.
"You know I have to be handcuffed to Ryuuzaki as long as he suspects I'm Kira." I explained impatiently.
"Couldn't Ryuuzaki just handcuff Light to my bed and leave him with me tonight?" Misa asked seductively as she moved uncomfortably close to me.
"I'm afraid I can't do that." L replied. Although his voice was as calm as always, I noticed a trace of pain in his eyes.
"Look, Misa," I said wearily. "I'm tired. I want to go back to our room and go to sleep." I got up to leave.
"But you just got here!" Misa protested rising as well. "Can't you stay a little longer?" She pleaded as she slid her arms around my neck.
"Misa please, I really need to rest." I reached up to pull myself away from her, but before I could loosen her grip, she surprised me with a kiss.
I pushed her away and looked over at L. His face was bright red and he looked as though he was lost in the depths of Dante's Inferno. Inwardly I winced. Why did it hurt me to see him in such pain?
"Good bye Misa." I said as I followed L out of her room. As we walked in silence to our room, I struggled to understand what had just happened. Misa kissed me. If I were a "normal" man, I would have become aroused. But no! I don't do what's "normal." Instead I was worrying about L's feelings. And then, when I saw the pain in his eyes, I actually wanted to take him in my arms and comfort him!
After L locked us into our room, I pulled him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know she was going to kiss me."
He looked at me with his innocent, vulnerable eyes. "I love you, Light."
Taken aback, I pulled away from him. "L, I have never been as attracted to another person as I am to you. After what happened last night, I certainly can't deny that I care about you, but…"
"You don't have to explain." L cut me off. He turned his back to me. "Let's just get ready for bed." He unlocked our handcuffs and we undressed in silence. As he tightened the handcuff on my wrist, I noticed he was fighting to hold back his tears. He turned off the light, curled into a ball and began quietly sobbing.
I laid there in agony listening to him cry himself to sleep. The thought that I was in love with L had actually crossed my mind, but I had been too afraid to seriously consider the possibility. After all, it is wrong for two men to be in love, isn't it? A relationship with L just couldn't be feasible, could it? No! It's impossible. If I were to become L's partner, it would kill my father. He expects me to marry a respectable woman and raise a family of my own. But still, I can't deny that I enjoy being with L, I admitted as I drifted off to sleep.
It was a warm, sunny day. I had just finished my last class and I was walking to the bus stop. In the distance, I saw L walking toward me. I smiled and waved at him. He reached up to wave back, but stopped mid wave. His eyes widened and he clutched his chest. My heart leaped to my throat as I raced toward him. He collapsed as I reached him. Writhing in pain, his hand still clutching his chest, he looked at me in despair.
"Somebody call an ambulance!" I screamed helplessly. "Hang on to me!" I pleaded, "Help is on the way."
"I love you, Light." He whispered as the life slowly left his eyes.
"NOOOOO!" I wailed panic stricken, "Don't die! Please, don't die!" His eyes began to close. "Don't leave me! Please don't leave me alone! I love you! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME…"
I awoke from my nightmare crying so hard it made my chest hurt. I was muttering "don't leave me" over and over again like a pitiful mantra between each choking sob. As I fully reached consciousness, I realized that L was holding me close and trying desperately to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around him eagerly returning his embrace, as I struggled to regain control of my emotions.
"I dreamt that you had been killed by Kira." I explained shakily. "All I could do was watch helplessly as you slowly faded away. I couldn't do anything to stop it. And I realized you were going to die without knowing… I was still so afraid to say it… But I wanted you to know before you died that……….. Please forgive me! I love you! I should have told you this earlier, but I was afraid. I have never felt such strong emotions before. Please forgive me!"
L looked into my swollen, bloodshot eyes. "My love, of course I forgive you!" He declared his voice filled with relief. I snuggled close to him with a contented smile on my face and drifted blissfully into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I became aware, as I gradually began to wake up, that someone was watching me. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that L was gazing lovingly down at me. His disheveled black hair fell haphazardly over his face. Beautiful dark eyes looked deeply into mine and his sweet lips were turned into a playful smile.
"Good morning," he said before kissing me tenderly.
"Morning," I croaked painfully. My throat was still raw from screaming and crying.
"We should get something for your throat." L suggested carefully unwinding his body from mine.
"Later," I whispered pulling him into an ardent kiss.
That was the day I discovered the connection between Kira and the Yotsuba Corporation. Everything seemed to move into fast forward after that. Up until the day I touched Rem's Death Note and regained my memories of Kira.
When I realized I was the original Kira and remembered all I'd done, I felt awful. How could I have ever entertained the notion of creating a new world by arbitrarily punishing criminals? The realization that I had attempted to make myself the tyrannical god of a new world created by fear made me feel deeply ashamed. Even though it was still far from perfect, I knew that L's version of justice was far superior to the "justice" I had striven for as Kira. The fact that innocent people had been killed was further proof that Kira's version of justice was fatally flawed. What caused me the most distress was the fact that I'd asked Rem to kill L. Needless to say, the thought of my nightmare becoming a reality made my blood run cold.
I realized instantly that I would have to act quickly and decisively, if I wanted to save L. I used the piece of the Death Note I had hidden in my watch to kill Higuchi. I didn't want to kill him, but it was the only way I could gain control of the Death Note and have Rem as my Shinigami. When we returned to headquarters, I informed L that I needed to speak with him privately.
"What's going on, Light?" L asked warily glancing at Rem as he locked us in our room.
"I have a confession to make," I began as my stomach began twisting into knots. This wasn't going to be easy. "You were right all along. I am Kira."
The expression on L's face went in rapid succession from shock to surprise and anger before it settled on sorrow. After what seemed like an eternity, he replied, "So Misa was the second Kira."
I noticed Rem stiffen beside me. "Yes, but you have to leave her out of this. I'll take responsibility for her actions. Once you destroy the Death Notes, she won't remember anything. You know she won't be a danger to society."
"But she's guilty! She has to be punished," L answered incredulously. "Does she mean so much to you that you are willing to face the death penalty for her?" Tears were beginning to form in his eyes.
"She doesn't mean anything to me," I responded truthfully. "But she means everything to Rem, and, if Misa is threatened by anyone, Rem will kill them!"
L looked to Rem for confirmation. "What Light says is the truth."
"You still shouldn't be the only one blamed for all of this," he repeated stubbornly.
"I didn't want to do it this way," I reluctantly announced. "Rem, I don't pose a threat to Misa at this moment, right?"
"Correct," she answered with a confused expression on her face.
"Then kill me now," I demanded, "and prove to Ryuuzaki that you are serious about keeping Misa safe. Since you won't be preventing her death, you won't die, and you can keep on protecting her."
"As you wish," Rem answered reaching for her Death Note.
"WAIT!" L screamed, "I won't go after Misa. I'll make sure she's left completely out of this." He looked at me in wonder. "I can't believe you were willing to throw your life away so easily!"
"I would rather die a thousand deaths than watch you die again!" I answered referring to my recent nightmare. "Now that I know you will be safe," I continued, "I guess I should go and turn myself in to my father."
"Before you do that, Light," requested L, "I want you to tell me everything."
Beginning with finding the Death Note on the ground at school, I told L everything that had happened up to that point. The last words I said to him were: "You probably won't believe me, but you saved me! Before I met you, I was a selfish, self-centered, immature child, who didn't care about anyone but himself. You've shown me how to love, and by loving you, I learned how to care for and value another person's life above my own. I have no desire to be Kira anymore, and I just wanted to thank you for rescuing me from the Hell I'd created for myself. No matter what, I will always love you!"
After my confession, L removed our handcuffs and told me to stay in the room and wait for him. Before he left, he made me promise not to tell anyone else that I was Kira. Several hours passed before my father, not L I noted glumly, came for me.
"Since we're nearly finished with this case," father explained, "L says you're no longer needed."
"You're kidding, right?" I was stunned. "What's going on?"
"L says he doesn't need you anymore." Father repeated as he began packing my clothes. "I've already phoned your mother and sister. They'll be expecting you soon." Noting the look on my face he added, "I'm sorry, Light. You know L has the final say about this."
"When L said, 'I don't need him anymore,' were those his exact words?" I asked fighting to keep all emotion out of my voice.
"Yes. Those were his exact words." Father answered still preoccupied with my packing.
While I helped my father pack, I wondered what was going on. I should be going to prison, not home. And what exactly did L mean when he said he didn't need me anymore. Had he been using me from the start?
So I went home and waited.
After several tense weeks, father returned home an informed us that L had closed the Kira case. In the end, at the cost of his reputation and his personal values, L protected me, and completely disappeared from my life.
I tried my best to pick up the pieces of my screwed up life. I went back to Touou University enrolling in as many classes as I could as well as taking on a part-time job in order to keep myself too busy to think about how much I missed L. Misa and I rented an apartment near the campus, but she moved out after a couple of months. Without L in my life, I merely existed. I'd wake up, go to class, go to work, come home, study, sleep, and do it all again the next day.
Finally the day of my graduation arrived. I tried to act happy about obtaining my degree, but in reality I was afraid. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. What frightened me the most was the prospect of all the free time I would now have. I had been keeping the agony of a life without L at bay with all of the extra college credits I'd been carrying. Even then there would still be a few hours, when I wouldn't have enough to do. During those moments, all I could do was curl into a ball and allow my wretchedness to overtake me. Now all I had was my part-time job. What am I going to do now? I wondered fighting desperately against the despair that was threatening to fall upon me.
After the graduation ceremony, my family threw a party for me. I tried to enjoy myself, but I simply couldn't stop wishing for L to be there with me. I was in the process of choosing a good enough excuse to leave early, when some of my friends invited me to another party. Luckily, my father urged me to accept their invitation. At least I didn't have to worry about disappointing my family.
As we neared the party, I told my friends that I was getting a headache, and they could go on without me. I'd been pretending to be happy for about ten hours and I just couldn't do it anymore. What I wanted more than anything was to go home and go to sleep – preferably without bawling my eyes out.
It actually was a beautiful night. The sky was clear and the moon was full. It was so bright; the street lights almost weren't needed. I had just turned onto my block, when I noticed it lying on the sidewalk in front of me. It can't be another Death Note. My stomach churned violently as I looked down at the offensive object. I have to get rid of this thing! I grabbed the napkin I had absentmindedly shoved in my pocket and picked it up. I didn't want to have to explain to the Shinigami, who owned this Death Note that it had to be destroyed.
"Sorry Ryuuku, or whoever this belongs to," I apologized. The last thing I wanted to do was offend a Shinigami. I tucked it under my arm and ducked into the nearest convenience store to buy lighter fluid and some matches.
I rushed back to my apartment complex. In the courtyard, we had several outdoor grills. I placed the Death Note in a grill, doused it with the lighter fluid, and set it on fire. Once I determined that every scrap of it had been reduced to ashes, I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I wish you were here to see this, L." I said as the tears began to pour down my cheeks. I was glad it was late and everyone was asleep. I knew that once I started crying, I wouldn't be able to stop. Fighting to stifle my sobs, I raced into my apartment and locked the door. Stumbling blindly, I managed to take two steps before I gave up and collapsed on the floor.
Someone knocked on my door. Struggling to steady my voice, I called out, "I'm sorry. I'll keep it down." This wasn't the first time I'd cried loud enough to bother my neighbors. As I crawled toward my couch, I heard them knock again. "I said I'd keep it down!" I yelled not bothering to keep the anguish out of my voice this time. I grabbed a pillow from my couch as I heard them knock a third time. I decided to ignore them. I was in no shape to talk with anyone. They'll give up eventually and go away I reasoned as I buried my face in the pillow and began bawling in earnest.
"Light, please don't cry."
Oh great! I'm beginning to hear voices. That's definitely not a good sign. I felt someone lift me off the floor. I looked up expecting to see the apartment manager. He's the only person who would have a key to my apartment. Instead I found myself looking into L's beautiful eyes.
"Is it really you?" I whispered in disbelief as I tentatively touched his face.
"Light, I'm sorry I had to put you through this." L said guiltily. "I had to make sure you had really given up your Kira persona."
"So all this time you've had me under surveillance." I deduced
"Yes. I also had hidden cameras installed here." L freely admitted.
"Well you're nothing if not thorough." I retorted sarcastically fighting to control my temper. I knew he had every right to do this after all I'd put him through, but it still irked me.
"However," L continued, "I wasn't completely convinced until tonight. When I saw you destroy our fake Death Note, I knew the confession you made to me was sincere."
"So where does that leave us?" I asked hesitantly.
L turned and gazed out my living room window. "Misa lived here with you for three months."
"It wasn't my idea." I answered the question behind his statement. "You know how persistent she was with me. Besides, the way you left me… I thought I'd never see you again. So I figured I'd give it a try. Mainly I didn't want to be alone."
He turned around and looked at me. Pain, anger, and jealousy all fought for dominance on his bright red face. "Did you sleep with her?" He choked out at last.
"Shouldn't you already know?" I asked nonplussed. "Didn't you mention earlier you had hidden cameras installed?"
"I had Watari watching you while Misa was living here." He admitted shakily. "I instructed him to base his reports solely on any activities related to Kira."
"Why should you care about it now?" I asked as a knot slowly formed in my stomach. I really didn't want to talk about this.
"Please, I need to know. Did you sleep with her?" He pleaded as tears began streaming down his face.
I'd better tell him the truth. He probably still has the tapes stashed somewhere. "I slept on the couch and she slept on the bed. But she got me drunk one night and tried to take advantage of me." I knew it sounded silly, but it was the truth.
I could tell by the wounded look on L's face that he was revisiting Dante's Inferno. "I guess you couldn't help it." He replied choking back a sob. "I'd left you, and she really is a beautiful woman. Any man would be happy to make love to a woman like her."
"L, didn't you hear me?" I asked incredulously. "She had to get me drunk to do anything with her." I paused –this was going to be embarrassing. "I said she tried to take advantage of me because I couldn't get aroused enough to do anything."
I walked over to L and pulled him into a gentle hug. "You are the only person I will ever love." I declared as I wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I should have known better than to try to live here with Misa. I knew I couldn't give her what she wanted." I chuckled as I thought of our last encounter. "I'll never forget her last words to me when she moved out. She told me, 'You act as if you're still handcuffed to Ryuuzaki!' It's funny now, but it hurt so much when she said it because at the time, I would have given anything to be handcuffed to you again."
"I love you, Light!" He said as he ran his fingers through my hair. Slowly he pulled me into a gentle kiss. The taste of his lips after such a long absence made my head spin and sent tingles throughout my entire body. I embraced him tighter, ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him back urgently. One passionate kiss from L was enough to cause the arousal that Misa had tried so desperately to achieve.
I wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed myself into him. "My love, you are the only one who makes my body respond like this." I took L by the hand and led him into the bedroom.
We clung to each other breathing heavy and still kissing passionately. It didn't matter how many times we made love. We just couldn't get enough of each other. We had been apart for so long, and I didn't know how long we could be together like this. I held on to L desperately jealous of anything that would take him away from me as I succumbed to exhaustion.
It was late afternoon by the time I finally woke up. I reached over to pull L into an embrace, but he wasn't there. I leaped up and raced through my apartment. I couldn't find him anywhere. Slowly I walked back into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Images of our love making flashed across my mind as I began to weep bitterly.
Suddenly, I heard someone unlocking my apartment door. I threw on my boxers and rushed into the living room just as L entered struggling under the weight of two large grocery bags full of food. "Did you know that almost all of your food was expired?" He laughed as he put the bags on the kitchen counter." Noticing the look on my face he asked, "Light, what's wrong?"
I rushed over to him and hugged him fiercely. "I thought you'd left me again!" I confessed still crying uncontrollably. "Please, don't ever leave me!"
L wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked deeply into my eyes. "I promise I will never leave you." He vowed before kissing me tenderly. "Would you like something to eat?"
It had been a long time since I'd eaten anything. "Sure, what did you buy?"
"Would you like some miso ramen?" He asked pulling a container from one of the bags.
"Yes, thank you!" I noted with pleasure that he had ordered my favorite meal.
He pulled out a pint of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and whip cream for himself. I brought him a large bowl and a spoon. While he made his ice cream sundae, I put the rest of the groceries away. As I began to eat my noodles, I watched with amused fascination as he poured more chocolate syrup over his sundae. When he finally put the bottle down, I noticed that it was already half empty. Only L would use a half a bottle of chocolate syrup on one sundae, I observed humorously. I couldn't help myself. The utter joy of being in L's presence again made me unexpectedly giddy and I began to laugh hysterically.
"What's so funny?" He asked as he licked some chocolate off his spoon.
"It's nothing" I gasped trying to catch my breath. "I've…just really…missed you!"
"I've missed your smile, Light." L replied seriously. "It has been very difficult for me to watch you living miserably for so long. Every day I had to struggle against an overwhelming desire to come here, take you in my arms, and comfort you. Every time I saw you cry I felt as if I'd been stabbed in the heart. I was so afraid that you would hate me for making you suffer for so long."
That really must have been terrible. I remembered how much it hurt to see the pain in L's eyes when Misa kissed me, and how horrible it was listening to him cry himself to sleep the night I was too afraid to tell him that I love him. I couldn't imagine enduring that for the past two and a half years. At least I had school and my job to keep myself occupied. This ordeal had probably been much harder for him than it had been for me!
"Light?...Light!" L called out to me with a hint of panic in his voice.
"Huh?" My mind snapped back to the present.
"Please forgive me, Light. I shouldn't have made you suffer for so long." His voice was filled with emotion as he made this impassioned plea.
I reached across the table and tenderly took his hands in mine. "There's nothing to forgive. You had just learned that I was Kira – the worst serial killer of all time. At one time I had even wanted to kill you!" I shuddered when I remembered how close I had come to killing the love of my life. "I would have done the same, if I were you. We're together now. That's all that matters."
L smiled visibly relieved and said, "I love you!"
"Love you, too!" I smiled back at him playfully.
We finished our food, and I cleared the table. As I washed the dishes, I noted that L was milling around the living room nervously. Drying my hands on the dish towel, I called out "are you alright?"
"I have something I need to ask you." L answered uneasily.
"What is it?" I asked inquisitively as I took a seat on the couch.
L hopped on the couch next to me and looked intently into my eyes as he pulled something out of his pocket. He took one of my hands and placed a silver ring in my palm. "Will you be my partner?" His voice shook slightly as he posed the question.
My face went pale as I looked at the ring in my hand. I noticed that he had an identical ring on his left hand. "I…don't know what to say." I finally stammered.
He shifted uncomfortably, "I know what this looks like, but I just wanted to have a visible representation of our bond together. You don't have to wear it if it makes you too uncomfortable." The look on his face clearly betrayed the words he was speaking. "Unless… you don't want to be my partner…"
Tears were already beginning to form in his innocent, vulnerable eyes. My stomach churned queasily as I realized his face looked exactly the same when I was afraid to tell him that I love him. But the thought of someone discovering our relationship and telling my father about it scared the hell out of me. "L, nothing would make me happier than being your partner, but do you think it would be a good idea for us to wear these rings?"
"Are you ashamed to be in love with me?" L demanded as he began to weep.
I looked into his eyes and inwardly winced. I hated myself for hurting him again like this. No, not again! I will not hurt him again! I don't care what happens to me. "To Hell with everyone else," I declared as I put the ring on my finger. "I love you! I want to be your partner and I don't care about what my father or anyone else thinks!" I pulled him into an impassioned embrace. "Please don't cry, my love. Please forgive me. I can't bear to see you hurting like this!"
My eyes widened in surprise as L began kissing me intensely. Moaning softly, I eagerly kissed him in return. Suddenly I found myself flat on my back with L on top of me his hands exploring my body libidinously. This was the first time he had ever been this aggressive with me and I loved every second of it. Desperate to feel his skin, I pulled his shirt off over his head and ran my hands hungrily over his body. I cried out in ecstasy from his passionate caress. Half wild with lust, I unsnapped his pants and struggled to push them over his hips. He pushed away from me to remove his pants and I quickly wiggled out of my boxers. His eyes were absolutely smoldering as he gazed at me with hungry desire. He looked so damn sexy! Impulsively, I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Please," I implored him breathlessly. "I want you!"
A feral smile widened across L's face as he slipped his fingers into my mouth…"
Sighing contentedly, I snuggled closer to L as he lovingly ran his fingers through my hair. I thought about the past three and a half years with bewildered fascination. At one time I was a lonely, self-absorbed, megalomaniac, who was foolishly determined to create a "perfect" world using fear and domination. By sheer serendipity, I met the love of my life, which saved me from the destructive path I'd been traveling. I trembled as I contemplated what my future would have been like if I hadn't fallen in love with L.
Feeling me tremble, L asked, "Are you alright?"
I looked into his beautiful, dark eyes and smiled. "For the first time in my life, I am absolutely perfect!"