quondam
fandom: harry potter
rating: r for implied sex
pairing: sirius/cedric
disclaimer: Rowling owns.
word count: 776
notes: Takes place during GOF. Title means "former". Beta by sioniann.

1. Cedric runs 10 miles every other day. First around the castle, then to the fields and from them to the cave on the side of the mountain, and back. He's not frightened when he first runs into a man in the cave.

"I'm hiding from someone," the man says, and he looks it. Cedric tells him that and the man laughs.

"Then I suppose you understand to keep your mouth shut about seeing me here."

"Okay," Cedric says, then adds, "What's in it for me?"

"Sharing a secret," the man answers. He hesitates for a second but then asks, "Do you want tea?"

Cedric does.

2. At first Sirius curses the fact he had no time to change into a dog when the boy first walked into the cave but later he appreciates the company. It keeps him sane. Well, as sane as one can be after spending all that time in Azkaban. He dislikes the fact there is stone around him, wet dark stone, but it's just a cave and not Azkaban so there's light in the end of the tunnel, even though he shouldn't be seen in that light often.

Company is good, but he doesn't expect it to last.

"Bye," he says when the boy leaves and the kid replies, "See you again". They always do.

3. There's conversation and lies from both sides and he doesn't mind it. Normally he swears by truths but it doesn't seem important, where they're there, just the two of them. They don't exchange names or credentials or ages. Nearly every topic is forbidden. Everything feels forbidden, every sip of drink, every movement of limb – it's something he hasn't experienced in ages, a positive sense of danger.

"Who are you hiding from?" Cedric asks him as he takes the cup of tea from Sirius' hand and their fingers brush.

"Myself." He knows Cedric is looking at him, which is strange, because they usually avoid each other's eyes. Looks reveal too much.

"That's a lie," Cedric says and kisses Sirius suddenly, and the other man looks at him, stunned.

"You really shouldn't."

"Does that mean you don't want to?" Cedric asks, wiping his mouth, and Sirius thinks, No. Wrong.

Still he breathes in and reaches for Cedric, kissing him back with force. Lies stop clogging up all the conversations when they stop using words to communicate and for a moment, that's the best way to keep up their bizarre friendship, they consider. They lose their fear of facing each other, almost, finding new ways to interrupt silent moments.

4. The nights are getting colder.

"You should go."

"I want to call you something."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"You should go."

"I'm keeping a secret already, aren't I?"

"Wouldn't want to increase your burden."

Cedric swallows. "Please."

"Put your robes back on."

This time he doesn't say, "Bye" and Cedric doesn't reply with, "See you again", absolutely nothing filling the silence but doubt and fear and anger.

5. It doesn't take too long for Cedric to realize he's sleeping with a wanted killer. A massmurderer. He can put two and two together, but he can also keep secrets (Sirius' location, his own feelings), but sometimes he's had enough of all the heavy pauses between lies and sex, and more sex.

"My name is--" he starts defiantly one afternoon that's growing darker and he knows he has to go soon.

"Don't say it. I don't want to know." Sirius looks back at him like he means it.

Cedric looks back at him, fiercely. "I want to tell you."

"But you're not going to." Sirius crowds him, forces him against the wall of the cave and Cedric is intimidated, but not enough to give up. "Because if you so much as breathe it, I may have to live up to my reputation."

Cedric looks back at him and says nothing, knowing now that Sirius knows that he knows. Sirius steps back.

"I think you should go."

Cedric nods and pulls Sirius close enough to kiss and his hands run down Sirius' arms and grab hold of his wrists. Cedric pulls away and whispers, "My name is Cedric Diggory." and he can feel Sirius shiver.

He leaves and means to return, but doesn't.

6. "This Diggory," Sirius says, folding the newspaper in his hand, and Remus looks up. "Harry's friend?"

Remus shakes his head. "I don't think they were that close."

"I see," Sirius says and sets down the paper. So many levels of wrong.

"Go sleep already. You need to relax."

Will you die and leave me, too? Sirius wants to ask him but keeps his mouth shut.