Title: Unhappy Birthday Ch 1
Main characters: Logan Mitchell, James Diamond, Katie Knight
Side characters: Kendall, Carlos, Mrs. Knight (Some are only mentioned)
Warning: Slash Jagan
Summary: It took an unhappy birthday (and unbelievable circumstances) to finally be with each other.
A/N: The fairy's description comes from Yue in Cardcaptor Sakura, just in female version, so credit goes to CLAMP. I own the weird idea, which was inspired by coordination system in Biology and a Happy Birthday greeting.
James's POV
"James… I think we should break up."
I blinked. For a moment I couldn't breathe. This certainly wasn't what I expected to hear first thing in the morning. Maybe I hadn't woken up? It was just a very cruel nightmare, I decided. Brushing my eyes, I blinked again. Logan looked even more real. I tried to pinch my cheek but Logan caught my hand. His touch felt so real. It can't be…
"I know I shouldn't do this on your birthday but I just have to. I can't pretend anymore, you know?"
Birthday? Oh, of course. This was a joke, right? It was a tradition to pull pranks on the birthday boy. We made him cry and then gave them surprise party and bear hugs so that said boy would never forget how special the day was. That must be it. Sigh, they needed to brainstorm more. Eventhough Logan's acting was as convincing as hell, there was just no way could I fall for this.
Playing along, I asked, "Why Logan? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing. I just…" He paused to think. I smirked inwardly, wondering what kind of reason he had prepared. "I just don't think I'm in love with you, James, not have I ever been. I was glad you confessed to me, and I accepted you because you're my best friend and I believed I would fall for you in the process. Apparently not. You kissed me once and honestly it didn't feel that special."
Something inside me broke. This was just a joke… right? My confidence wavered slightly.
"It's your birthday, your special day. I keep feeling guilty, James. You should be with someone you deserve, someone who loves you wholeheartedly and kisses you because he likes it."
Damn Logan, your acting was brilliant! I thought you were terrible at lying. Did you practice this fake break-up only for my birthday? If so I would feel very flattered. Thinking about this kicked my hesitation away that I kept on my original intention. "O-okay, Logan."
Logan looked surprised. "Really? Okay? I didn't think it would be this easy. I thought you wouldn't accept it just like that."
What did he expect? Me to cry and beg for him? I would if it were real. "Logan, stop it. It's not true, right? It's just a prank to the birthday boy, right? Find another idea, it hurts too much to even listen to those words."
My world started to crumble as Logan frowned. "O-oh, right. You must have thought that. No, James. I'm serious."
"Logan I already know! Drop it and find different way to trick me. Say Cuda goes bankrupt and I'll cry!"
"James, I'm breaking up with you." Logan restated his point. "I can't lie. If I were to prank you I would have asked Kendall to tell you your boyfriend just ran out with another guy or something."
"Do you?"
"What?"
"Do you break up with me because you want to run out with―"
"No I don't!"
"Then why?" I yelled, unshed tears already blurred my vision. "Why can't you pretend a bit longer? Why can't you wait, maybe later you can fall for me and that 'later' could be just tomorrow or whenever in the mean time? Why does it have to be on my birthday you decide this?"
"You should celebrate your birthday with someone who truly loves you."
"No. I should celebrate my birthday with someone I truly love!"
"James…"
"Logan I cannot lose you. Please. I just can't." My anger faded as I pleaded. I really couldn't lose him. Just when I loved him so much, when I needed him to ensure my happy birthday…
He didn't answer. He didn't move. He didn't even apologize for heaven's sake! I shook my head incredulously and headed back to my bedroom, our fucking bed room. I picked a random shirt on the floor and changed hastily, not bothering to wipe tears on my face. My hand than grabbed whatever important within reach: handphone, wallet, and a jacket because I realized the shirt I just took was really ugly and wrinkled. Then I dashed out. I heard Logan calling my name once again. The corner of my eyes caught questioning look from Carlos and Kendall in the living room. But I couldn't care less.
As if it couldn't get any worse, I passed Mrs. Knight in the lobby. "James? Where are you go― Oh my God, James, what happened? Why are you crying?"
Damn her and her motherly caring nature. I wiped the tears using the back of my hand, quickly faking a smile. "Ask Logan. I need to cool off for a while, maybe walking around the park would help."
"What did that boy do to hurt you like this?" She sighed, looking upset. "Fine. But be back this evening to eat your cake." She lifted a basket of groceries. I saw flour and eggs, along with chicken, veggies, and even frozen fish sticks. I really felt grateful towards her. Even my own mother almost never cooked for me. I wasn't even sure she remembered my birthday.
"Sure. Bye, Mrs. Knight."
It was still early in the morning. There were only a few people around the park. Even the pool area was empty. I decided to take a walk outside Palm Woods area. The streets in the morning weren't so crowded and the air was still fresh. It should have been able to cheer me up, at least help me to accept the fact that Logan just dumped me. What a horrible birthday…
Oh who was I kidding? It was nothing but an escape! I went out to take my mind off things.
However, out here I felt like I was just a James Diamond. Not James from Big Time Rush. Not James that was Kendall, Carlos, and Logan's best friend. Just myself. Some people recognized me though, but there were no raging fans attacking me or whatsoever. I felt free. And surprisingly it felt good to be free.
Perhaps I needed this. A moment or two to stop being such a narcissist stupid jerk.
Maybe that was why Logan didn't fall for me. Looks aside, I was vain. Damn me. Damn him. Damn this pain. Why wouldn't it go away?
Wait, where was I again? My eyes dilated as I failed to recognize this alley I just walked into. It was dark, as the trees blocked the sunlight, and very quiet. How creepy. I walked backwards, sweatdropped when my back touched solid surface. The walls before me came closer, so did those in the left and the right. I was… trapped? Was I gonna get crushed?
On the contrary I felt relief beyond wonder. Ha! Everything was a dream! A nightmare. A weird and random one indeed. As those walls got closer, I blacked out. Great. When I opened my eyes again, I would be on my bed. Logan would wake me up and called me lazy bum for sleeping my birthday off. And he would laugh when I told him about this stupid dream, then he would reassure me that he was never gonna leave.
I opened my eyes to see nothing. Everything was pitch dark and soundless. And I was floating in this nothingness. Really? When did this nightmare end?
"James Diamond."
A voice called me. A silhouette appeared from the blur in front of me. She had long silver tresses, silver orbs, and silver outfits. Geez, no wonder this creature glowed in the dark. Her face was pretty, even I admitted she was prettier than me. She was pale, though. White large wings spread out from her back. How in the world could I dream of such beauty?
"It's your birthday, isn't it? You're very unhappy because your boyfriend just dumped you."
Okay that was rather irritating. "Must you rub that in my face? I'm pretty sure it is not real."
"On the contrary, it is real. That's why I visit you after all." The pretty angel-like being moved closer. I could only gasp. "You could say I'm a fairy. I grant wishes for teens that are unhappy on their birthday."
"What?"
"Yes, you heard me. Now stop wasting my time and say your wish. Think carefully since it's one wish per teen."
What an arrogant fairy. Huh, like I believed any of this? "Then I wish you to take this pain away."
She looked surprised. "Seriously? It hurts that much?"
"I love him so much. I thought he loved me too. Why did he have to lie in the first place? If he had rejected me that day, when it was all just little crush, it wouldn't hurt this much…" My eyes watered again. "If you can really grant wishes, then I wish to stop hurting."
"Um. Let me clarify this. You want to stop feeling pain? This pain only? Or you wish never to feel pain anymore? You should realize by taking your pain away it means I'm taking your feelings away. I will have to make you stop loving Logan. Or… maybe you want me to redo things? For you to never fall for him? Your wish is too vague, James."
Her offerings sounded nice actually. I could wish never to feel pain anymore? How great was that? Who needed pain anyway? That aching feeling inside your chest that tortured you steadily. "Then I wish never to feel pain anymore. Take this pain away. And later if someone else broke my heart, I don't want to hurt."
"You sure? You cannot undo your wish."
No. Honestly I was not sure. But I needed it. I was afraid being heartbroken would affect my friendship, my career, everything. Without the pain, I would be okay. Logan wouldn't have to feel guilty or burdened. Yeah, Miss Fairy, please grant this wish. Suddenly I could accept it being real.
With a blinding light, I lost my consciousness again.
This time I woke up on a bed. When everything was black previously, this time everything was white. I soon realized I was in a hospital bed. The typical smell confirmed it.
Logan was on my side. On the other side was Katie. Both were asleep with tears on their face. I looked across the room. Mrs. Knight and Kendall were on the sofa. Just when I wondered where Carlos was, the door opened, revealing the Latino.
"James you're awake!" He quickly scooted here, shoving Logan slightly. Being a light sleeper, Logan was awakened by Carlos's cheerful voice and then our gazes met. There was clear guilt on those beautiful orbs. I was quickly reminded to the break-up but hey, it felt like… I was over it. As if I had moved on. The feeling of loving Logan was so distant, almost like I never ever fell for him.
"What happened?"
"You didn't remember?" Carlos raised an eyebrow. "That's what we're gonna ask actually. You left in the morning with tears. And then we were called by the hospital, telling you were hit by a car and bleeding to death. What happened?"
Trapped by walls. Floating in the nothingness. Then a beautiful but arrogant fairy granted my wishes. That's what happened. Get hit by a car? Bleed to death? How come? I felt perfectly fine ― wait. Did I just wish never to feel pain anymore? Including physical pain? My eyes widened at the guess. I tested it by pulling my hand which was near the sleeping Katie to a fist and dug my nails as hard as possible to my palm. I used the amount of force that normally would emit at least a flinch. But I felt nothing sort of a pain.
I didn't know I should be happy or terrified. Can a man really live without pain sensory nerve? Wouldn't it be dangerous?
"It is my fault, isn't it James? I'm sorry…" Finally, an apologize from Logan. But he's sorry because I got hit, not because he broke up with me or because he couldn't reciprocate my feelings or because he tried to fake everything from the beginning.
"No. I was just being careless. Don't feel guilty, Logan."
"How can I not? I'm the cause of you being careless!"
"Hey, I'm careless all the time!"
"No you're not. Carlos is!"
"Why am I brought?" The name's owner chose to leave. He joined the two Knights at the sofa to wake them up, informing them about my consciousness.
"Seriously, Logan. Don't feel bad about it. Walking around helped me over you."
For few seconds, he only stared at me. The look he gave was one I couldn't decipher. What did it mean? Was he relieved? Was he disappointed? No… why would he be? "Why? Did you meet a pretty girl in your walk? Or hot dude?" He grinned after that.
"A pretty girl." I didn't lie. "But it's not that I'm over you because I fall for her. She just helped me to take my mind off painful things. I don't know how I was hit but when I woke up, the pain's gone." Again, I did not lie.
"Oh… okay."
"Best friends?" I offered a hand. That was when I realized my right hand was totally bandaged. Was it broken? I faked a wince then, not wanting Logan to suspect.
"Don't move it, silly. You got your right arm damaged badly. I bet you hit the road on your right side." There Logan, always sounded smart without him intending to. I remembered this was one of the annoying but cute habitual of Logan I used to adore.
I was going to lift my other hand instead but I noticed there was blood on my palm, leaking from new four nail injuries. Fortunately Logan didn't notice it, brushing my right hand softly instead. "You're always my best friend. Get well soon, James. I have asked Mrs. Knight to cook and bake your cake just on the day you can come home. You don't mind your birthday party to wait, do you?"
"Sure no. Don't forget to buy me present, alright?"
"Already bought. Don't worry, you'll like it."
Ah, too bad I forgot to ask that fairy's name. I needed to thank her. If she didn't come, I would have still been miserable and angry and I would possibly lose an awesome friend too.
The problem was just how to hide the fact that I couldn't feel pain. I needed to be careful now. Because it was just hard to hide things from your best friends, people you count as family.
-End of Chapter 1-