A/N: This story was written mostly by my mom, so the storyline characters, and most of the words are hers. I did the editing and some of the wording, so if there are errors, I am very sorry. This story has been being developed for two years, with some of the early parts being added more recently.

This story begins during Grissom's sabbatical. Sara and Grissom do not have a romantic relationship. That's all I can think of at this moment.

Please read and review.

Mists of Memory

It is winter. There is snow on the ground around the pond and lightly resting on the water. Two people are walking around the lake in opposite directions; slowly they are coming closer to one another. One is a man who is wearing a hat and long overcoat. The other figure is a woman; she is wearing a long black cape with a hood. They are lost in their own thoughts, yet each has an awareness of the other as they near. Their paces slow, and they look towards one another indirectly. The woman smiles with bemusement, and the man turns as she passes, puzzled. Painful memories stir in depths of the mind of Gil Grissom.

He has come to Walden Pond to escape the pressures of a hectic career, which has been wearing him down for the past several months. He has come to teach others the science of using insects to help solve crimes. He is has also come hoping to spend some time with a former professor of his, who will also be speaking at the seminar.

After talking to his group of students, Grissom is now on his way to the class he is eager to observe. In the back of his mind, his thoughts still linger on the woman he passed that morning; there is a familiarity about her which he cannot shake.

When he enters the hall, he realizes that the speaker is not the one he came to hear, but someone else whom he knew long ago. Jessica Davis, a forensic psychologist currently on leave from the FBI, has taken the place of Dr. Williams, the man who Grissom had come to see. It only takes a moment for Grissom to register that she was indeed the one he had walked past that morning, that it was really her and not someone who looked similar to her. He feels rather foolish for not immediately recognizing the woman he had once lived with for four years.

After the question and answer session at the end of the lecture concludes, and the students begin to file out, Grissom approaches her to talk privately.

"You don't look eighty-two," he says as he walks up to her.

"Dr. Williams is not well and asked me to fill in for him," Jess replies. "Did you enjoy your walk this morning?"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't realize it was you at first, and I figured we would run into each other here." An uncomfortable silence starts to grow between them, as their thoughts turn to unspoken questions. She breaks the silence with the only thing she can think to say, "Would you like to go to lunch? I'm staying with the professor and I know he would love to talk to you again." Grissom looks a little uncomfortable, but she pushes on hoping that maybe they can talk later. "Look, he doesn't have long to live and this may be your last chance to see him before he dies."

"All right," he says finally, and then they leave.

Grissom and Jessica walk along in silence as they approach the door of Dr. Williams' home. "How long have you been living here," Grissom finally asks.

"I've been here about a month. When I got back to the states two months ago I received several dozen messages from different people, and one was from him. He wanted me to visit him while there was still time left, so I came here. I sent messages back to some of the others," she pauses and looks at him. "Including you. Why were trying to find me?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

She nods, and then they walk through the door of the large estate. It is a three story stone house with ivy growing up the walls. Large trees are growing on the grounds, showing that the property is very old. Inside the house has large, spacious rooms with ornate molding on the ceilings and walls. Many of the floors are wood, while others are stone. The home is furnished and decorated in a variety of older styles.

In the foyer they are greeted by an elderly woman, she is Mary, the professor's wife. "John will be delighted to see you," she tells Grissom. "He was hoping to see you before the end. You were always one of his favorite students; both of you were. It is a shame that you didn't stay together." Grissom and Jess exchange a glance, knowing that the subject was something they had never dealt with, and neither wanted to either. Mary however continued on, choosing to ignore their discomfort. "You will come and stay with us won't you Gil? There's plenty of room."

"I'm staying at a hotel," he replies as they walk into a sitting room. It is decorated in red velvet, very much the picture of a Victorian parlor.

"Please, have a seat, I'll go see if John is up to having visitors and I'll check on lunch too," Mary says as she exits the room through another door.

When they sit Grissom says, "This must be hard for you."

"You mean because I used to run away from painful situations," Jess states irritably.

"No," he responds, and they fall into silence again, unable to find the words to breach the gap that has formed over many years. Several minutes before Jessica breaks the silence. "Why were you looking for me," she asks, bringing up the question she had asked before they entered the house. "There had to be more to it than just a desire to talk, even though there's a lot we need to say to each other. I know that when the FBI told you I was missing you started a search for me. Didn't it occur to you that if the FBI said one of their agents was missing that there was a good possibility that it was because I was doing something which required me to not be found by anyone?"

"I was worried," he replies.

"Is that all," she asks, her eyes searching his.

"I wanted to make sure everything was all right, that you were ok."

"Why?"

Grissom opens his mouth to say something, but at that moment Mary enters the room. She walks over to Grissom and tells him that he can go up and see her husband. He and Jessica exchange a look, knowing that their conversation would continue later. Then Grissom walks with Mary up a flight of stairs and down a long corridor where she motions to an open doorway. "He's awake, and doing well for now. I have to go check on lunch still."

"Thank you," he says softly, and she presses her lips into a thin smile before leaving. Quietly, Grissom walks into the bedroom. Lying in an old oak four-post bed is Dr. John Williams. He is frail, his body ravaged by the effects of cancer. He had taught Grissom everything he knew in the field of psychology, and has been his friend for many years. Grissom sits on a chair, which is at the head of the bed.

The old man looks at him and smiles faintly. In a frail voice he says, "It's been a long time. What have you been doing?"

Grissom shrugs and tries in vain to hide the emotions churning inside him. "Work," he replies finally.

"You can't spend your life hiding in a lab. You have to get out and experience the fun side of life." He gives Grissom a stern look, and Grissom nods in agreement. His demeanor softens again, and he asks, "Have you and Jess made peace at last?"

"We haven't really had a chance to talk."

"She needs you." Grissom looks bewildered, his mind currently flooded with too many strong emotions to know how to handle them all. John looks at him with concern and caring, calming some of Grissom's turmoil. "Neither of you will ever be able to find peace until you deal with your loss together. You both have lost yourselves in work, you in a lab, and her in a quest to track a killer. You've both consumed your lives in avoiding really living. In the end it's not worth it."

At a loss for words, Grissom just looks at his friend; this wasn't exactly the reunion he had been hoping for. Having a friend say that you've wasted your life is hard to hear. "You should look at the painting on the walls in her room," John says, shaking Gil out of his thoughts.

"All right, I will. I'll come back to see you later."

"Thank you. I look forward to it," he replies with a smile. "Turn right when you leave my room, her room is at the end of the hall."

"Thank you," Grissom says. A moment later, he leaves the room and walks down the hall to Jessica's room. The door is half-open, so instead of knocking, he says, "Jessica?"

"Yeah," she replies as she appears in the doorway. "That was a short visit."

He shrugs. "He says that I should see the painting on your walls."

She half smiles as she opens the door and motions for him to enter the room. "A painting is an understatement"

As he enters, he realizes that the painting is actually a mural which covers all of the walls in the room, except that one wall is covered by sheets. "Eighteen years ago you suggested that I should come here," she begins. "When I came, John suggested that I should paint my feelings on the walls since I wouldn't talk about them to anyone. I also wasn't sure at first of how to talk to him, and how much to say, so this became my form of therapy."

The first wall in the series, to the left of the covered wall, was painted dark red. On it were black images resembling people being abused. It was a depiction her childhood, and the largest of the images represented her strangulation and near death at age fifteen. To the right, the next wall after the covered one, showed a long road, winding its way through jungles and forests. Along the bottom of the wall were many greyish-white rectangles—graves. The final wall, where the door was, was the most peaceful of the images. It was an image of the ocean, with sand on the bottom of the wall and waves higher up. Above the waves was the sky, which became darker the higher up the ceiling one looked, and above that was the ceiling, which was dark blue, with hundreds of stars painted on it.

Silence filled the room as Grissom took in all of the images. He stood in awe of the contrasts of horror and peace which represented her life. "I've added to it over the years," she says softly as he walks around the room.

"What's on this wall," he asks as he stands before the covered wall.

With pain in her eyes she answers, "You may not want to go there." Her warning however comes too late, because he has already pulled on the sheet, and let it fall from the hooks that held it up. She closes her eyes with a sad sigh, and then watches him as he steps back to take in the image.

The wall was painted more intricately than the rest. The image was of a grassy meadow, with a bright blue sky in which there were white clouds and a brilliant yellow sun. There were birds and butterflies in the mural, along with flowers, maple trees, and various insects. Yet in the center of the image, giving it a feel of deep sadness, was a dark cloud under which there was another grave, far lager than the ones on the other wall. As he reads the name on the tombstone, his eyes fill with tears and the pain that has been buried within him for years shows clearly on his face. The name on the grave brings back memories of joy and pain; it is the name of his infant son, a child who had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome when only three weeks old.

At that very moment, there is a knock on the door. Turning to see who is there, Gil sees the same look of pain on Jess's face. Mary enters the room with a tray of sandwiches and tea, places it on a table and leaves wordlessly.

TBC...