Axton

It was bloody hot.

Axton wiped the sweat from his brow absently on a worn sleeve, noting with disdain how often he had to perform such an action. That was at least the fifth time in the last thirty seconds, and the frequency had only increased the longer he had been outside.

"At least it ain't humid," grunted the commando. He had been to a few places where it was both hot and humid, to the point where he could take a morning shower and not dry off till the evening.

Not the Dust though. The Dust was dryer than a middle-aged comedian's sense of humor, and past a certain point nothing could withstand the lack of water. He hadn't even seen a cactus for two days now, to his eternal dismay, as he had grown fond of the juice from them.

"It really quenches the thirst," he whispered. "I should be more careful though. That last one made me hallucinate for four hours."

He paused, noting some sort of obstruction ahead. The plains had been clear for hours now, and this was the first thing even shaped like a rock. It jutted out several meters out of the ground, slanted as if it had begun to fall over before deciding to simply stop.

Axton drove closer, noting how it appeared to have once been a structure and not a random rock. Any symbols or marks that had once been on it were gone, but it was simply too rectangular to have been a geological occurrence.

He drove past it, noting a few more stones were ahead. They were of different sizes and angles, but each one looked similar to the original one he had passed. Finally he reached a low stone wall, making a quarter-circle away from him similar to a ledge

He parked his car and walked onto the ledge, looking down in mild astonishment. Past the ledge a massive hole in the sand had appeared, scaling down gently but consistently downwards. More stones appeared sporadically in the hole, and these ones still had their markings. A few even had the residual shiny lines on them, like he had predicted.

"Eridian," murmured Axton.

He reached into his car and grabbed his assault rifle, bracing the butt against his shoulder. He methodically walked into the ruin, checking each blind spot as he passed it.

He found the first Eridian behind a rock, slumped in darkness. It was lying down on its back, most of its massive form obscured by darkness. He approached it quietly and slowly, rifle aimed at it.

He reached it, noting its blood pooling nearby. He kicked it sharply, the body jerking only from the force alone.

"Dead, and not for long," he noted.

He found another car nearby, this one apparently from a bandit group. The car was empty, but the engine was still hot from recent operations. Judging by the supplies in it, there was only one person.

"Defector, or a scout," he pondered. "Whatever it is, this isn't good."

He kept going down into the hole, finding more Eridian bodies the further he went. Each one had been killed with bullet wounds, most precisely aimed center mass.

"This guy is good," he commented absently. "If he's a defector, I'd gladly take him."

He heard movement ahead and ducked behind a rock, peeking out after a few seconds.

A large structure was in the center of the hole, appearing like two rocks sloped up against each other. Upon closer inspection, they made the perfect shape of a V, a symbol he recognized.

"A Vault?" he whispered amazed. "That's impossible. There isn't a Vault marked anywhere near here."

He saw what had startled him a moment ago, a lone figure digging through the rubble. The figure was dressed in bandit armor, but was rather clean and well-kept compared to most. He wasn't whispering to himself or covered in blood, and he seemed no different from an ordinary man. Every few seconds, he looked around cautiously, his firearm in his hands.

"That idiot is unburying it," murmured Axton annoyed. "He probably thinks its treasure or something."

The figure finished his job, the V arch completely unburied. He sighed, dusting off his hands on his trousers.

"Finally," he heard the man say. "So…maybe…?"

Axton rolled his eyes. Whatever was in here probably had dried up or been excavated already. The Eridians left over were just here because they were bound here. This place was likely a previously pillaged Vault of some sort, not even worth a mention.

He saw the figure remove something glowing from his pocket, and his eyes widened. The object was square and glowed purple, a familiar purple.

"No!" roared Axton leaping out of cover and charging him. "Stop!" Whatever would happen from activating whatever mechanism was in here wouldn't be good for either of them.

The figure either didn't hear him from this distance or didn't care, as he held up the Eridium into the arch.

The Eridium disappeared in a flurry of sparks as the arch lit up with electricity, glowing a deep white color.

Then it flashed every color imaginable, Axton covering his eyes in pain from the brightness exponentially increasing. A loud whine came from the arch, sounding as if something was charging inside of it.

"Get back!" he warned as loud as he could.

The figure, again didn't seem to notice. He was staring at the light in wonder, hand still outstretched into the arch. He was likely equally terrified and transfixed, like a man gazing upon the wake of a great natural disaster.

The arch's light flowed onto his arm, the figure stopping motionless. He looked at it curiously as it coiled snake-like around his arm, gently humming and buzzing.

Then it stabbed into his arm and he began screaming.

Axton began sprinting away as fast as he could, the uphill climb literally feeling every bit as uphill. Whatever the arch was doing, he did not want to be hit by it.

The figure's body became covered in the light, his voice increasing in pitch as he howled in agony. He did not collapse or even move however, standing statue-like in the face of the arch.

Then it all vanished in an instant, the noise and light dissipating. Axton peered out from the rock he had sought refuge behind, noting the man lying there in front of the arch. His body was smoking, likely from the heat of whatever had been done to him, and lay motionless.

"Damn, poor bastard," grunted Axton.

Then it started to move.

He dove back into cover, cursing to himself.

"This ain't good," he murmured. "He knows I'm here."

He looked out under the rock from a small hole, taking in the man. The man had the normal bandit attire of random stained leather and metal plates, but also had a leather cloak over his shoulders to guard from the sun, complete with hood.

The man stood, dusting off the dirt from where he had fallen. He moved slowly and drunkenly, as if it was trying on new arms and legs.

"Come on, come on," he whispered. "Just bloody leave already."

The man glared right at the rock he was hiding behind, Axton cursing himself for not trying to hide his footprints better. He gripped his rifle tight, his knuckles turning white.

Then the man disappeared.

One second he was glaring right at him, the next second he had vanished. Axton blinked several times, making sure it wasn't some sort of illusion.

"What the…?" he grunted as he began looking around.

Only to find the man waiting right behind him, crouched and silent.

Axton leaped back for half a second as he brought his rifle up, but a half-second wasn't fast enough.

The man shoved him through the rock. One arm was strong enough to throw him bodily through stone, his armor absorbing the impact as he shattered the ancient rock. He flew down into the hole, rolling in the sand and getting it in everywhere. He could taste it in his mouth and smell it in his nose, and it burned every inch of exposed skin and then some.

He managed to right himself on one knee, bringing his rifle up. He began firing, not even bothering for a clever catchphrase. At this point, it was shoot or die.

The man raised a single hand, the bullets halting in mid-air in front of him. Each one hovered compliantly a meter from his body, each one still spinning from the rifling.

Axton swore and threw out his turret to the side, running to the opposite direction. Maybe the man couldn't do that trick in both directions, or it could be overwhelmed if done so.

His turret popped into life, but the man only glanced at it and it burst into pieces. He wanted to call out in despair at the destruction of his mechanical ally, but had to focus. Mourning could come when he wasn't about to get killed.

He threw a few grenades from his belt, each one stopped in front of the man liked the others. Thankfully, they detonated, throwing dust and smoke everywhere.

"How do you like that?!" roared Axton cockily.

His eyes widened in shock, taking a step backwards in horror.

The man still stood there, not a mark on his body. The blast had gone all around him, not even scorching his clothes.

Axton, now panicking, drew a rocket launcher from his SDU and began firing it like a madman. He was so scared he was practically working on auto-pilot, barely able to even think.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!" he screamed in frustration. The man wasn't even reacting was what frightened him. Even things that had taken this much damage had at least reacted before. The other things he had hit. This thing wasn't even getting touched by all the things he was doing.

The rockets had the same effect as the grenades, the explosions reflected harmlessly over the man's body.

The man glanced at him, his hood obscuring his facial features, and disappeared. This time, he appeared right in front of him.

Axton took an instinctive step back, but a hand grabbed around his throat to stop him. He grasped at the arm around his throat, the grip so tight it cut off the air to his head.

"Let…go…!" snapped the commando. He drew a knife and tried to stab it into the man's wrist, but the man stopped the blade and crushed it in his free hand.

"…who rules this planet?" asked the man in a voice that didn't sound human. Hell, it didn't sound like anything Axton had ever heard. It sounded half machine and half animal, portions of it snarling and rising unnaturally to levels he could barely hear.

"…the…Crimson Raiders…" whispered Axton.

The man looked around, noting the bodies of the other Eridians with a mild disdain in his posture. "…how long…?"

"Since…what…?"

"Since my kind walked this earth."

"Your…kind…?"

The man sighed. "Yes. The Eridians. How long?"

Axton found the last sentence curious, but his oxygen-deprived brain was beginning to run low. His vision was already turning black, his body losing strength. "No…idea…"

The man loosened his grip a bit, allowing him to get more oxygen. "Figures as much. Judging by the attire and weaponry of you and this man, your kind hasn't gotten very far in technology. All the better. You spoke of Crimson Raiders. Tell me, how many are you?"

Axton knew answering honestly wasn't wise. Their ranks had never been bigger, but compared to a proper army like the Crimson Elite, they were rather lacking. "Tens of thousands, with hundreds of warriors stronger than entire legions of men."

The man let out a noise that might've been one of surprise. "Oh? Well, that's good to hear. This would be boring if you were all complacent."

Axton looked at the man's face, but couldn't see anything past the shadows of the hood. "Who…are you?"

The man chuckled. "Didn't that pesky Watcher speak of me? He warned of a war? Well, here I am."

Axton's eyes widened as the full dawn of what was happening sank in. This was the warning the Eridian known only as the Watcher had given them. This person before him.

"What is your name?" asked Axton.

"Oh? Well, I'm King. I think this man here was once named Charlemagne. I think I like that."

"King Charlemagne, huh? Well…what do you want?"

The man drew back his hood, exposing his face, or specifically, his eyes. They were a deep white, like the arch before, and full of sparkling electricity. He grinned, his teeth shining white.

"Everything," whispered King Charlemagne menacingly.

He threw Axton across the hole, the commando smashing into several rocks as he flew. He landed in a heap near the edge of the pit, several body parts broken or bleeding or both. He could hardly move, let alone stand.

Charlemagne walked past him, chuckling quietly to himself. He glanced at his body, his face twisted in a grin. "Tell your leaders this: War is coming, and they best have readied themselves. After war, comes death."

He walked off after that, Axton weakly grasping into one of his pockets. He withdrew a red syringe, stabbing it into his arm.

He gasped as the medicine rapidly began healing his wounds, resetting broken bones and replacing lost blood. In a few moments, he was in pain but healthy.

He stood, looking around in every direction for Charlemagne. The man, the Eridian, the whatever-the-hell, had disappeared, leaving only Axton.

He put down his rifle, sighing. "Well shit."

[Richard McGuinness]: "Hell yeah! We're back in business!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "Wait, why are we here? We're not characters this time, are we?"

[Samuel Keller]: "No. I kept you two from the original story because I liked your personalities as a voice box for me when I don't personally wish to appear."

[Richard McGuinness]: "Oh, hey Sam. But…you're appearing now."

[Samuel Keller]: "Merely to explain the situation to any new viewers, at least I certainly hope I'll get new viewers. These two guys are my voices in the story, a slightly more appropriate tone for the overall comedic story. Richard is an older gentleman with crippling alcoholism and troubles with his ex-wives. Scotty is a omnisexual pervert with a gambling addiction. I just summarized their entire personality for you."

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "I don't have a gambling problem! I can quit any time I want!"

[Richard McGuinness]: "I think your phone is beeping."

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "Hey, I got more coins! Time to hit the slots!"

[Richard McGuinness]: "As for me, I agree completely. I miss my ex-wives, but my aim is getting better."

[Samuel Keller]: "Yeah…so anyway, for my veteran viewers, this is my new Borderlands story. My older one, bless its heart, will eventually get wrapped up and finished, but it would be best to consider it dead in the water. I am sorry for not bringing closure like I liked, but let me assure you, I mean to fix that. This story is already breathing fresh breath into me. I got the fire back."

[Richard McGuinness]: "Careful. We might have to get an extinguisher at this rate."

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "That was the lamest joke I've read since I got off that cripple site."

[Richard McGuinness]: "Offensive! Offensive content!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "Oh bugger off! I'm trying to win!"

[Samuel Keller]: "Well, I guess that wraps this chapter up. Old fans, take the time to drop a review and see how it compares to the original. New fans…merely state how you liked it! And since I'm not a money-grubbing scrub, I won't ask you to Like and Subscribe or whatever, but I would appreciate it if the effort is sincere. Whatever the case, have a nice day!"

[Richard McGuinness]: "Later you Saudi-Arabian pieces of piss!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale]: "Tatty bye!"