Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. I borrowed the characters for this story.

This is my own take on near death experience. I have had one. I also wished to express my views on my father's death in 2004. I believe he was given a choice to live or die. I believe sometimes you are given a choice. I also took liberties with several movies all of them I'm not sure which part came from. Cheers and Enjoy!

Chapter One-Bumping into your Guardian Angel.

The last thing Jim Brass heard as he fell into unconsciousness was that he had been shot. Funny, Jim had been shot before but not like this. Although he had worn his vest the bullets had hit just beside the Kevlar's protectiveness. He was sure that his right lung had been hit along with a possible knick to the subclavian artery. Enough time had been spent with Dr. Phillips and Dr. Robbins among others, not to know he was in dire circumstances.

The fear and pain was almost more than he could stand as blood started seeping into his mouth. Then he heard a woman's voice and saw a great light. The light was almost blinding as the disembodied voice said.

"Come and walk with me Jim." She put out her hand and he took it but not with his own in the physical since. He left his body behind lying on that hotel room floor.

Her presence was calming. He wasn't afraid or in pain anymore like he had been minutes ago tasting the blood. She smiled at him and as her shadow passed to where the light was backlighting her, he smiled at her. She was a lovely creature, a long haired blonde with blue eyes with the look of a pixie about her. She was in a robe of pure white and lovely white wings.

"Hello Jim." She said smiling.

"Hello, what's happening to me?" He asked.

"Jim, I'm your Guardian Angel I'm here to guide you though this time. You have been given a choice whether to live or die. I am here to help you make that choice."

"So I'm not dead? How can that be?" He asked.

"You know that sometimes people are put into comas."

"Yes."

"Well, you are in a coma right now. Your body has been broken and it's possible that the good doctors can't fix it. However; your spirit is strong and your will is too. You always said you would go out fighting or not at all. Here is your chance to do that. I will show you two paths. It is your choice to take one of them as given. The Creator is very happy with you and loves you dearly like he does everyone. Have you forgotten the times you could have died and didn't?" She asked.

"I guess I did for a minute or two. So I'm at a crossroads." He said.

"Yes." She said. "My name is Kyrie."

"Like Kyrie Elasion. Which means God Have Mercy."

"Exactly." She said giggling a little.

"I feel happy and calm." He said tightening the hold on Kyrie's hand.

"Good, then I'm doing my job. Not all deaths or near deaths are ugly, painful or scary. Just be glad it's me and not the other guys."

"I'm relieved really. I saw Ghost and those little black hooded guys scared the crap outta me."

"It's not far from the truth. Remember when good people died they were taken into the light? Well, as you were going unconscious you saw a light and then me. This is how it is for most but not all."

"So you have done this before? Guided someone?" He asked.

"Actually no, this is my first time. Angels have school too. That doesn't end when you die. We have training to finish. When you were born I was assigned to you. I helped you though your life as much as you would allow me. My stars you are a stubborn one!" She said shaking her head.

"Ma and Pop said so too. Most everyone I know has said that even my best friend Gil Grissom. Gil, ah he has power of attorney…..to….."

"Yes but ultimately it's your decision no matter what he does. Actually it's really not yours but free will withstanding…….our Creator has allowed me to show you what life will be like with you and without you. After you see both then you make the choice. Gil Grissom has no baring on the outcome." She said.

"I wish he knew that." Said Jim worrying a little.

"Somehow he will. He won't make it lightly. He is a good man and I know this to be true. Your friendship means a great deal to him. Which ever happens he won't be left with the feeling he didn't give you every chance. What ever happens he won't be left with guilt."

"Thank you. I don't want him to suffer like that. We have been close a long time. He's like a brother to me." Jim said sincerely.

"Ok so let's go and see what might be." She said.

"I can leave……here and not……"

"Trust me." Said Kyrie smiling and winking at him.

"Ok, you have taken me this far in my life." Said Jim as they walked off to cross into another plane.

The place they came too was misty and full of clouds.

"We are crossing into Limbo so hold tight. Those souls are not yet ready to make the jump. Most are still earth bound and you don't want to get caught up with them." She said as they quickly walked though the mist. He saw people standing around and some walking aimlessly.

"This place feels so….isolated and desolate. Like the desert."

"It's sorta like that." She said. "Come on let's find where we are supposed to be."

They came to a door and she opened it. It lead into a narrow hallway that was painted white. At the end was a great whitish blue light around a door. He walked down further. He put his hand on the doorknob. She stopped him.

"Don't open that door unless you want to cross over. This is the door to the living." She pointed over to another door. "We want that one first." She said pulling him back.

"Oh ok. I'm new at this."

"It's ok. So am I. But I want you to know that I was first in my class of 1953."

"The year I was born." He said.

"Yes."

"Were you always an angel?" He asked.

"Yes. I haven't had my time on earth yet as a human being. I'll be someone's child as soon as you make your choice. It's like sorta a graduation for me too." She said.

"Are angels born or made?" He asked.

"We are born but not like humans are. Some of the first ones were made of course. Gabriel, Raphael and Michael were made along with the one who's name isn't spoken." She said.

"Oh Lucifer."

"Shhhhhhush." She said strongly.

"Sorry."

They crossed though the door to the living.

"Why don't we say his name?" Asked Jim.

"It sorta invokes him. Let's the demons know there is a soul that hasn't crossed yet. That's one reason why we hot footed it though Limbo. Demons sometimes come to the outskirts to see what's up. It's not really heaven and hell doesn't claim it, not really. It's sorta a no man's land. Jim you don't want to get stuck there. There is confusion and frustration and very few ways out. An angel or demon has to come and get you. So many times it's not the good guys. Those guys entice souls that just want peace and don't know how to find it on their own." She said.

"Humm, they never said that in Catholic School."

"There are many misnomers here." She said.

"Kyrie, why did I have to be responsible for Bell's shooting?" He asked.

"That I can't answer. It's the way the world works. It was an accident. Bell got up from his position, in the line of fire. He didn't look behind him before he did. You shot at the suspect thinking it would hit the man and you weren't aiming for Bell. He knows that. So does his widow. Those are the only people you have to answer too on that, no one else. Sometimes it's just a person's time to go. Some are taken young with families some are taken old with none to speak of. It's the way our Creator wants. It has to do with free will too. Bell knew he was at risk when he stood up…..Jim do you believe me?" She asked.

"I'm trying too." Said Jim as they walked down a street. He looked around and saw familiar places. His childhood home, his mother calling him to dinner on the porch. Himself, as a child running up the steps and past his mother into the house.

"That's me." He said.

"Surely it is Jim. You were a good child. You did what you were told amid being taunted by the other kids. You were a short stocky kid. But you filled out nicely." Kyrie said as they walked hand in hand. She had not dropped his hand. "Jim don't drop my hand or you'll be staying here in the past."

"Ok. It's been a long time since I held such a pretty girls hand anyway."

"One thing. I'm not a woman. I'm an angel those are two different things Jim."

"You could have fooled me. Your hand is warm to the touch. Mine has to be cold."

"Actually no. You think you are breathing air? No Jim what you are doing is still in a sense in the living world. However; you can sense hot cold, air, breathing everything but pain until you either go back or go to the light. After you go into the light there is no more of that. No pain, no sorrow, no hurt. Just love in its purest form."

As they walked the scenery changed. He was older and in the Marines. He did a tour in Viet Nam. It was at the end of the war and before he got into the police academy in Newark. In the Marines he had been Military Police. He saw himself in his dress blues and smiled.

"That was one hot shot Lance Corporal."

"Yes he was." She said. "But he is still in you and why you were such an affective police captain. You saved many lives and gave many families peace over your three decades as an officer, detective and captain."

"I did?" He asked.

"Yes. Why do you doubt yourself? You have no reason to be doubtful of your abilities." She said stopping.

"Well, there was the Holly Gribbs shooting that cost me the head of CSI." HE said.

"Like I said before Jim everyone has his or her time on earth when it is over it's over. You are a different man now and that is why you are being given a choice. If that hadn't happened you would still be the sarcastic, full of himself Jim Brass that was then. The one that was born out of your divorce. You let that sour you. You allowed Nancy to make you into something you were never supposed to be. I know loosing her and Ellie were hard……"

"What about Ellie now?" He asked.

"We shall see. I know she isn't yours by biology. Things like that happened when you take your eyes off your goals. Sure you wanted a career but you were going about it the wrong way. Our Creator doesn't intervene unless it goes way off his plan that is written for us. Because we have evil in the world that takes many shapes and forms. He only intervenes when the necessity warrants it."

"So we are made out of our experiences?" He asked.

"Yes, you are a very smart man. I'm glad you are listening to me." She said as they started walking and turned a corner.

"You keep calling God the Creator. Why is that?" he asked.

"Because, on the earth there are many religions. He has many names there. Allah, Yeoway, Jehovah, Great Spirit, White Father to name a few. Depends on the person I guess. I use Creator because that is what He is." She said.

"Makes sense." Said Jim.

"It sure does." She said giggling again.

"As for a difference between women and angels……"

"I chose this form so it would be pleasing to you." She said.

"Well, I was always a sucker for a blonde." Said Jim blushing a little.

"I know." She giggled again.

"Nancy was a blonde, Ellie was too for a little while."

"Yes and those were pleasing to you. I thought why not. The form you are seeing now is only for you." She said.

"Well, thanks." He said.

"No problem Jim. Let's go forward in time to Ellie's birth. It was something that made you." She said.

"Ok."

They watched as Ellie was born. He hadn't been too happy his wife had slept with his best friend. But as soon as he saw the child his heart changed and he had done everything he knew to protect and love her even if he wasn't her father. He did everything that a father would do and then some but somehow as she grew resentment followed. He had been cheated out of his own child and given second best. Unfortunately Ellie was a bright child and caught on to it. They watched as she grew and Jim finally realized what had happened.

"Oh God what did I do? Why?" He asked sobbing a little.

"It's the way it works sometime. She made you and you made her into what she is today. You kinda sorta made each other."

"Can I change it?" He asked.

"No, it's written in the past now. The only thing you can do is something in the future." She said patting his shoulder with her other hand.

"So there is something I can do? I have tried." He said.

"Yes there is. I know you have. She's just as stubborn. She gets herself into things she shouldn't. But humans always do that. Its part of being human. Part of the experience."

"Kyrie, can we please go forward?" He asked.

"Sure. This is hurting you. It shouldn't be but you are still earthbound. Once you cross over remember there is no pain there. If you choose to go back there will be just like you left." She said.

"Do many go back?" He asked.

"Yes and some see they could be more help to those they love spiritually or as an angel." She said.

"You said there is school for that?" He asked.

"Yes, there is but we are not yet ready to explore that choice yet Jim." She said.

"Ok, but I am thinking on things." He said.

"That's good. But don't allow the pain to cloud your decision." She said. "Once you make it you can't take it back."

"Ok, at least I am certain of one thing."

"What's that?" She asked.

"I know I can still change things with Ellie I just have to try harder."

"That's right." She said as they walked on down the street and went into a building then a flight of stairs. Then another hallway like before.

"In order to go forward some we have to take the long way to it."

"Though Limbo again?" He asked.

"No we are done with that place." She said.

"Before you and I go further can we stop for a while. My head is spinning a bit."

"Sure. Let's go down the way to a rest area. It's not only you that gets a spinning head. It's part of being out of your body. I don't know what the feels like actually but I have been told to let you wait for a while before you and I go on to the next stop in your past."

"Thanks Kyrie. You're a doll."

Kyrie looked a little shocked. "Jim I'm an angel!" She joked.

"You look like a doll to me and angel doll." He said as they walked a ways down the hall.

She giggled and they disappeared into a room.