Annabeth POV
I walked out the doors of the Athena cabin and headed to the main house. I knew that this was frowned upon by the camp administrators and that in some sort of rule book, there was probably a rule about leaving your cabin at three in the morning, but I didn't care. I needed to be by the lake. It was the only place I felt near to him anymore. He was gone now, and I had no idea when I'd see him again. Sure, Leo was working with the Hephaestus cabin as fast and hard as they could on the boat, but nothing was fast enough for me. I wished he was here with me, right now. I could even hear his teasing voice, almost as if he was walking up the steps to talk to me.
"Hey there, Wise Girl, can't sleep? I bet it has something to do with that nasty butt Kronos right? Ah, what a punk that guy is. Don't worry, he's gone, we made sure of that. Come here," and then he'd wrap his arms around me because he knew that the only thing that made me feel safe again after one of my nightmares was being wrapped in his strong, protective arms.
But tonight, there were no arms to hold me but my own. I sat in a chair on the porch, pulled my knees up to my chest, and hugged myself. I felt empty. Void of any sort of feeling at all. Discarded, like a card that was played and then forgotten about. I felt meaningless, worthless, and homeless. Camp Half-Blood had always been my home, but not since Percy left.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes. I hadn't even realized that I'd been crying. Just thinking about him anymore could do that to me. I looked up at the stars I'd once loved, and immediately felt sadder, if that was possible. Stargazing had always been one of my favorite pastimes, but also one I'd shared with him. The number of times we'd gazed at those beautiful stars was innumerable. I'd always imagined them leaning down to kiss us. But now, they were kissing us separately, something I didn't like. I wanted to be one with my love again, something that didn't seem possible. I drew in a shaky breath. While they were leaning down to kiss him, I was lying awake and missing him. I felt almost as if I couldn't breathe something that was normal now a day. I often felt like I needed a cup of oxygen or atmosphere or something.
I hurt like I'd never hurt before. I didn't like it either. I had never been so into a boy that when they left suddenly, I was left bleeding. Heck, when my dad had left me, I hadn't really cried more than once, and that's only because I was seven. I was freaking 16 for pity's sake! I had no business crying about him.
Yet I couldn't help but let the tears flow freely. I wished I at least knew if he was alive. Jason said that the Roman camp was brutal; you only made it through if you were the toughest of tough. I knew Percy well enough to know that he was plenty tough, but what if he forgot how to use Riptide? What if he didn't even know he was a demigod? What if, I could hardly think this one, but what if he forgot about me? Jason remembered no one from his old life, what if Percy didn't remember me? What if he was dead?
At least I was safe. I'd doze off safe and soundly, but I couldn't say the same thing for him. I'd miss his arms around me, but he'd miss his memory. I had it easy compared to him. True, having to live with Percy's presence in everything haunted me, but imagine if I forgot everything. Percy was much braver than me, but still, one demigod can only take so much. He was only 16. I needed him.
I was being selfish, I knew that, but I needed him so badly. We normally always watched the sunrise together, but now he wasn't there it wasn't the same. I'd still see the same light blue color, but it wouldn't be the same without him. Nothing was the same without him. I remembered all those times at his mothers house, all those late nights on the beach when he would hold me, all those times sipping lemonade on the porch whispering about how funny some new campers acted. The problem is, it takes two to whisper quietly.
I barely talked to anyone anymore. The silence wasn't normally that bad, but then again it was. I would look at things that would remind me of him, simple things, and all of a sudden, I'd get all choked up. The lake, the Poseidon cabin, the canoes, the summer camp beads I had, all those orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirts, couples holding hands, even my own hands, because the spaces in between my fingers are right where his fit perfectly.
I remembered how he could always make me feel safer and better. If there was a little brat being a jerk at camp, he'd always tell them off and come to my rescue. I missed him calling me Wise Girl. I missed the way he would openly defy the rules and drag me over to the Poseidon table to eat with him. I missed most of all falling asleep in his arms though. I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't falling asleep in his arms. Another thing frowned upon was two people of opposite gender in the same bed. But that's what we did most nights. It wasn't as if we ever did anything, but I needed to feel his strong arms around me to feel at peace with the world anymore. He was the only thing that could make the nightmares go away. I'd find repose in new ways although I hadn't slept in a few days. I couldn't exactly sleep because cold nostalgia chilled me to the bone.
I remembered everything. Every little detail about him, and it made me sadder and emptier. I hadn't laughed in weeks, months maybe. Who knew the last time I cracked a real smile?
Just then, a cloud moved and the moon drenched me in vanilla twilight. That's what Percy always called it. Vanilla twilight. I'd liked the ring of it, but now it made me sad. What didn't these days? I always kept myself at least waist deep in the thought of him, because at least that way I didn't feel so alone.
I allowed myself to close my eyes for a moment, knowing full well that I'd never be able to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and immediately regretted it. The sea green eyes I'd been dying to see for weeks were looking intensely at me behind my closed lids. I could feel my facial muscles contorting into a horrible grimace, but I didn't open my eyes yet. I felt tears drip from my closed eyes, while the green ones grew brighter. Slowly, my face relaxed, almost as if the heavy burden I'd been carrying for a long time was growling slightly lighter.
But I knew that it wasn't true. I knew that this heaviness I'd been carrying for so long would only grow lighter when those sea green eyes honestly blazed brighter. When they did, I'd taste the sky and feel alive again. I'd be able to gaze at those beautiful stars once again, I'd be able to venture into the lake, I'd be able to feel those strong, safe arms around me and simply be alive again.
I'd forget this horrible world that I'd found, but I'd never forget him. Never. Even if I lost my memory like he did, I'd make sure I didn't forget him. I wished I could talk to him, just a simple sentence, that's all I wanted to say. I couldn't reach him from here, but if I could, my whisper would be carried out on the wind, all the way to him, so I could simply utter that one sentence.
"Oh, darling, I wish you were here."
And with that, I put my head in my knees and slowly, yet surely, cried myself to sleep.
A/N: So, guess what you guys? I finally got a full day to just work on fanfic, which is the good part! The bad part is it came at the costly price of cramps (not fun for me :/) so anyway, I was able to write this, and actually write like another page or two for continuation. Then I decided I shouldn't just make this one long huge chapter. That'd be just plain annoying! Plus, it flows better as multi-chaptered. So, anywho,if you want me to continue, just let me know in a review! You have NO IDEA how much I love reviews! So I won't reward you with something with so many reviews, but if you like this story just let me know if I should continue!
P.S. Oh, oh, also, if anyone can guess what song I based this chapter off of, I will give you a virtual waffle! So yeah, work hard for that! I said the name of the freaking song in my story; it shouldn't really be that hard…all the guesses have been good so far, but none are correct! Keep on guessing!