Disclaimer: Do not own any of the BTR boys or company.
Pairings: Kogan/Jarlos
Warnings: Swearing/boy x boy.
Note 1: Erm...So...I just read Clean by Amy Reed and...yeah. I don't know why I wrote this. Just did.
Kendall paced the living room, a scowl panted firmly upon his lips. For possibly the fifteenth time this hour, he glanced at his watch again, his frown growing deeper.
"Will you please stop pacing! It's making me dizzy!" James exclaimed from his spot on the bright orange couch, perched neatly in the corner with Carlos snuggled up to his side. Both were watching a movie, Zombie Smashers: Legends of the Dead, and while Carlos was engrossed in the story, James kept getting distracted by Kendall's movements.
"I can't help it! He promised he would be back hours ago!" Kendall shot a look at James, his aggravation evident in his voice and face.
Logan had left early, before eight, to head to the library just as it opened. He was working on a special extra assignment given to him by their teacher. Kendall nearly threw a fit the other day when, Ms. Collins kept Logan aside after class to hand him a pile of additional work, which Logan accepted with a forced smile. She explained that it would help boost his college resume, but the poor genius was already over loaded with school, rehearsals, and college applications. Not to mention just plan hanging out with friends.
It wasn't even all the extra time that Logan had been recently spending doing extra school work that bothered Kendall. The blond knew how important Logan's education was and would be the very last person to hinder any chance of his achieving his dream of becoming a doctor. No. What worried him was that he was beginning to see all this work weigh heavily on the poor boy genius, pressing down on him until it would inevitably crush him.
The past few nights Kendall had awoken to Logan out of bed and at his desk working steadily as the early light from dawn made itself known. He would be typing away quietly, unaware that Kendall knew he was up, and had most likely been before dawn even began.
Then he was off to class or rehearsals or whatever else was required of Logan that particular day. If he hadn't anything scheduled, he would use the time at the library or (if Kendall pouted enough) spend time with his boyfriend, which Kendall often designated fun time. In and out of the bedroom.
But, the physical remnants of Logan's long days were beginning to become even more noticeable. Dark shadows were seated under his eyes. He barely could stay awake for class. And even at the studio Gustavo had often called Logan out on his continuous nervous habit of glancing at the clock, counting the hours until he could hit the books again.
Kendall was immensely worried about Logan, and had declared this day the day he would sit his love down and get him to talk about what was going on.
Yet the planned speech he had prepared was now half forgotten and replaced with aggravation, anger and even more worry.
And that speech was a damn good one to.
The sound of the front door closing led Kendall out of his thoughts as he spun to regard his tired boyfriend slide off his backpack and regard Kendall with a smile.
A smile that was not returned.
With his long hands on his hips, Kendall walked up to his boyfriend, gearing for a fight. "Where have you been?"
Logan let out a sigh before he wiped a hand over his face, "You know where I've been. At the library."
"You said you were going to be home around lunch. It's past three now." Kendall didn't want to sound like a nagging boyfriend, but the worry in his chest was just increasing with every moment.
Running a hand through his hair and meeting the ground with his eyes, Logan muttered, "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" Kendall scoffed.
"Yes Kendall. I'm sorry. The assignment Ms. Collins gave me required more additional resources than I anticipated." He stepped closer to slide his arms around Kendall's firm waist, "But I finished it. Which means I have the rest of the day off." He raised an eyebrow, his tone indicating that by his work being finished that they could spend such time doing more...fun activities.
Kendall, however, was not sharing Logan's thoughts.
Before Kendall could voice just what he thought they should do with the rest of the day, Carlos's words cut through to them.
"You have the rest of the day off! Awesome!" Carlos jumped up from the couch, pulling James to stand as well. As he bounced over to his two friends, James followed while regarding himself in his hand held mirror. "Camille and Lucy want us all to meet them in ten minutes to hang out."
Kendall turned to Logan, and saw that despite his boyfriends promise of an active afternoon, he looked more like he was going to keel over.
"No." Kendall stated.
Logan, James and Carlos all turned to their blond leader with confusion. "What do you mean?" James spoke out loud what they were all wondering. Kendall rarely was one to turn down a fun time, and also to answer for both himself and Logan.
"You two can go, " Kendall pointed to James and Carlos, "But Logan's staying here, with me."
"Oh I see," Carlos said, a smile and a nudge to his taller boyfriend, "Kendall want's some alone time with Logan." James smirked at Logan's direction, nodding his head and making exaggerated sexual movements with his hips. Logan just rolled his eyes at his two friends and crossed his arms.
"Actually, Logan needs a nap." Kendall said, bending down to pick up Logan's back pack that was leaning against the wall.
"...what?" Logan asked confused. He turned to Kendall who was sliding his arm around his waist, casting a nervous glance at the bag being slung over Kendall's shoulder.
"You need a nap. You've had a long day and need to lie down for a bit."
With a frown, Logan tried to jerk out of Kendall's hold, "Kendall I'm not five I don't need a nap." He flushed a bit deeper red as he heard James and Carlos snickering behind him while Kendall continued pulling him down the hallway to their shared room.
"I know your not five Logan. But you're taking a nap so no more arguments." Kendall opened their bedroom door, tossing Logan's back pack into their closet. He turned back to his raven haired boyfriend, who had his arms crossed and an adorable pout perched upon his lips.
"I don't want a nap Kendall." Kendall let out a sigh, already knowing this wasn't going to be easy. He knew that Logan hated taking naps. He always felt like they were a waste of time that could be better used for something more productive. The only time Kendall could every get Logan to even get in a fifteen minute nap was after sex if they dozed of while cuddling. But even that never lasted long if it was during the day.
"I know Logie. But please? You're wearing yourself thin and I don't want to see you get sick." Kendall walked over to place his hands on Logan's shoulders, trying to rub the tension and aggravation out of each muscle.
"Then I'll take more vitamin C. But I'm not taking a nap." And to just prove he wasn't five, Logan continued, "And you can't make me."
Kendall had to bite back a smirk at Logan's protests. Even as Logan said he didn't want a nap, he was melting under Kendall's touch, shifting forward and backwards as his eyes refused to stay open.
"M'not tired." Logan protested again, sleepily.
Kendall began humming "WorldWide" quietly as he continued rubbing Logan's shoulders, eventually moving down to his back so he could pull the boy closer to him. When he felt Logan's weight grow heavy on his chest, he slid his hands down to pick up the boy and place him on their bed.
"M'not taking a nap...just resting my eyes." Logan muttered with sleep in his voice as Kendall began taking off his shoes and pants, leaving him in boxers and his t-shirt. Kendall then stripped down to his own boxers before sliding into bed, spooning Logan into his arms.
By that point, Logan was out cold.
"Ken..baby wake up."
Kendall moaned quietly, waving a lazy hand against the voice trying to drag him out of sleep. He didn't have the energy to protest.
"Kendall..." The voice warned, but Kendall chose to ignore it. Instead he snuggled deeper into the soft warmth with a scent strongly resembling Logan.
Until he felt a sharp poke on his stomach.
"Ouch hey!" Kendall exclaimed, eyes flying open to regard a smirking Logan as he rubbed his sore stomach, "That wasn't very nice."
Logan rolled his eyes and affectionately said, "Stop whining." Then he bent forward to place a soft kiss on the spot he poked earlier.
"M'not whining." Kendall muttered, noticing that Logan seemed more awake and alert then he was earlier in the day. There was still daylight pouring into their room, so he knew they hadn't been sleeping long. A quick glance at their bedside clock proved it had only been two and a half hours since they laid down.
"How do you feel?" Kendall asked, shifting so he could slide an arm around Logan and pull him in close.
His raven haired genius gave him a patent half smile as he ran a hand through the blond locks he loved, "Better. A lot better actually. I never realized how good just...stopping was."
Running his eyes all over Logan's face as he searched for any lies in that statement, then finding none, Kendall nodded. "You look a lot better. I'm sorry I forced you I-" he paused, not wanting to upset the boy but also knowing he needed to broach the subject, "I'm worried about you. You do so much Logan and I know you want to do well with the band and in school and go to college but...you just need a breather sometimes okay?" When Logan frowned and looked down at his hands, Kendall began to panic a bit so he sat up, continuing, "There's nothing wrong with saying no or just I need more time. Isn't that what you told that kid you were partnered with once? And I'm not saying this cause I want you to spend all your time with me...I-I just don't want you driving yourself into the ground."
Kendall bit his lip so hard he was sure the skin would break. He didn't want to fight with Logan, but couldn't think of any other way to explain what he felt.
With a frustrated sigh Logan sat up and got off the bed. Kendall ran his hands through his hair, sure that he had just messed everything up.
"Logan...I'm sorry. I know this is the last thing you want to hear but I had to say it. I care to much about you to see you hurting yourself..." Kendall trailed off. Logan wasn't getting ready to leave the room like he thought, but instead was rummaging around in his back pack.
"Logie...?" Kendall asked, sliding his long legs off the side of the bed but not getting up. Finally Logan stood, holding something in his hand. He walked back over to the bed and took a seat next to Kendall.
"So..." Logan began, still not meeting Kendall's eyes, "I lied to you."
"What?"
"I...wasn't at the library the whole time." He opened his hand and neatly inside it was a prescription pill bottle. "I got a call from Gustavo. He wanted me to meet him at Roque Records. He gave me this, saying to take a couple a day...more if I needed it. And to just let him know when I ran out."
Taking the bottle from his hand, Kendall frowned as he read the words on the bottle. He glanced at Logan with confusion, "What is this? And why did he give this to you?"
"This particular prescription has very high levels of amphetamine's in it..." he paused, finally looking up to Kendall's still confused eyes with a bit of fear, "uh...speed."
For a moment everything stood still. Kendall let the words Logan just spoke settle into his mind, and then, upon realization, everything started to move again. And that movement was fulled by anger. Anger unlike Kendall had ever felt before seared through his chest. He clenched the bottle firmly, then stood.
"Kendall?" Logan questioned, standing along with his boyfriend.
Kendall didn't say a word as he threw open their bedroom door and headed straight towards the kitchen, cutting through it to get to the bathroom.
"Kendall what are you doing?" Logan asked, following Kendall as the taller boy stood over the toilet. He opened the bottle, then poured the pills inside.
"Oh my God Kendall!" Logan exclaimed, his fear growing when Kendall pulled the level to flush. "Gustavo's going to kill us!"
Logan jumped when Kendall reached forward to grab his arm, pushing him gently up against the wall, "Did you take any?" The blond was breathing hard, and his voice was fierce and serious.
"No!" Logan's voice cracked with a little bit of fear. Kendall had revenge in his eyes and his grip was tight on Logan's arm.
"You swear?" Logan nodded rapidly, not wanting to upset the blond even more. When Kendall remained silent, staring at Logan, the smart boy shifted nervously and said, "I wanted to...okay? It would have just helped so much to have that little extra...jolt I needed. I-I'm trying so hard Kendall. I want to get good grades and do well in the band and be there for you. But I can't do it all. And even though I knew that, I didn't take a pill. I wanted to but I didn't. I swear."
Kendall took a deep breath to calm himself before he gathered Logan in his arms. "You are amazing Logan. You don't need this medicine or any extra jolt. You need to slow down." He pulled Logan back, looking deeply into his eyes, "You are an amazing performer, and you worked hard to get there on your own. And you are so damn smart Logan you don't need all this extra work to prove it. And most of all," Kendall paused to place a shaking hand on Logan's cheek, "You are always there for me. Never think that you aren't. And I want you to keep being there for me. I don't want to loose you to something that you could get addicted to while trying to reach some ridiculous, fake level of perfection." He tightened his other arm around Logan's waist, pulling him in close to bury his head in Logan's silky raven hair. He quietly muttered, "Promise me you wont ever get into stuff like that okay? Please Logan...I-I can't loose you. Please."
Kendall had to take another breath, trying hard to keep himself together. He never realized how close he could have come to loosing Logan if his love became to addicted to the pills. He had heard enough stories from the other actors and singers that lived at the Palm Woods to know how easy it could be. How accessible anything they wanted could be with the help of some friends in the right places with the right amount of money. And how quick that little extra jolt became an all consuming daily need. He never would have guessed Logan would fall prey to it...any of them really...but Kendall could only thank God that Logan told him now before things went to far.
"I wont. I swear Kendall. I'm sorry for freaking out you." Logan held onto Kendall tight, feeling like a jerk for putting Kendall through this. But he was glad he had told him what happened. He was ashamed to admit it, but there was a point where he was planning on using them. He told himself he would just use them for a while, just until the semester would end. But...isn't that how it normally starts?
Kendall shook his head and pulled his boyfriend back, leaning forward to capture his lips in a deep kiss. "It's okay. I'm okay. And you mister..." Kendall lifted a hand to poke him on the nose, "Are on Kendall watch for a while."
"Kendall watch?"
Kendall nodded, taking Logan's hand to drag him out of the bathroom towards the orange couch, "That means that if you are not in class, rehearsals or allotted homework time, you must be relaxing or having fun." He grabbed the remote and pulled Logan onto the couch, taking up the spot James and Carlos vacated earlier. He grabbed the duvet and placed it over them as Logan snuggled up to his side.
"And by allotted homework time I mean no more super crazy extra assignments. Just the basic stuff that everyone else gets. We're going to talk to Ms. Collins on Monday." Kendall continued as he fiddled with the remote, trying to find a movie.
"Okay..." Logan said, a little nervous about that but he knew that Kendall was right. He was overworked.
"...After we talk with Gustavo about what he did."
Stuttering out, "K-Kendall!" Logan sat up to look at Kendall with fear. Kendall wrapped an arm tight around Logan and shushed him.
"Don't worry baby. I'm not going to call the cops on him or anything. But I think Kelly, and my mom, as well as us, should have a little talk about Gustavo's...helpful methods."
Biting his lip nervously Logan settled back against Kendall, "I guess..."
Kendall sighed, "Imagine if it had been something worse...and he gave it to Carlos...or James. Or even me. Would you want us to risk ourselves?"
With a defeated sigh Logan shook his head, "No."
Kendall smiled and kissed the top of Logan's head, "Good. Now Zombie Smashers: Legends of the Dead is in the que. Sounds good?"
Letting out a shudder as Kendall pressed play, Logan groaned out, "How about another nap?"
I hope you enjoyed it! The second chapter will be Jarlos.
xoxo BA