AN: I think this is a little different than what I normally write and may just be due to my frustration with the current direction of Glee, but either way I hope you enjoy.
So, legit, he thinks he is invisible. No, seriously. I mean really if he wasn't do you think Rachel would have let him stand during her performance to Finn how she wasn't anything without him (he totally remembers when she was, without him that is). Also she totally didn't care that he figures all he's got to look forward to in ten years is jail—I mean at least you always get your meal on time right? And the latest evidence, she wouldn't say when the baby's due. Now granted it's not just Rachel, the others haven't said anything either. But that's more normal. Obviously if he's invisible there's only one thing to do.
He takes his shirt off when Mr. Shue has his backed turned writing this week's assignment on the board. And is placing his hand down his pants as the guy turns (what it's just more comfortable like that!). I mean really what's the point of clothes when you're invisible; au naturel is the way to be.
"Puck, what are you doing? Why are you getting undressed in class?" Mr. Shue immediately demands.
In front of him, Rachel whirls as she yells, "Noah!"
He can't help but smirk and say, "Knew you were hot for my bod, Berry!" But she merely huffs and turns back around.
As he re-dons his shirts, he can't help but murmur to himself, "Guess I'm not really invisible."
That totally must mean that they just can't hear him. It makes sense, if he were invisible Berry totally would have been tracking him down to see why he wasn't in Glee doing his part to get them to Nationals. But mute, dude he can say whatever he wants or no, whatever he thinks.
"I bet the sex is bad. That's why marriage makes sense. Cause then she can like refuse and say she has a headache and he just has to take it cause their married. . . I wonder if San would be down with a threesome and letting me watch. That way it's not really cheating but. . . "
"Noah Puckerman, in the hall right now!" a glaring and beet red Rachel demands.
"Uh okay," so maybe he's not been turned to mute either. Mr. Shue doesn't even try to save him, or like question Rachel's authority to pull him out of class.
"Hey Rach," he greets casually as he gets out in the hallway.
"What do you think you're doing, Puckerman?" she prompts.
He decides playing dumb is the way to go, "What do you mean?"
"Your sudden desire to act out," she immediately responds.
" 'S not acting out," he denies.
"Really?" she questions. "So you just lost your mind? And thus thought Glee was the place to remove your clothing? Are you suggesting a need to see a neurologist or just a psychologist? And what would ever make you think the things you were saying were appropriate?"
He doesn't respond at first. Like maybe these are rhetorical, but her glare says otherwise.
"I thought I was invisible or maybe just mute?" he offers hesitantly.
"Noah," she condescends. Then rolling her eyes," and what pray tell would give you such a preponderous notion?"
"Well, um, you haven't chastised me in awhile. And then you wouldn't even tell me when the baby's due," he whines.
"Noah," she sighs, "I'm not pregnant."
"Then why are you getting married?" he asks perplexed.
"It's really none of your business," she tells him wearily.
"But Rach, we're friends, right? And I mean we're only teenagers. . . so why not wait a few years is all I'm saying."
"Look Puck," she starts suddenly cold again and not making eye contact, "the way I see it if you can have intercourse with my mother than I can get married whenever I want. And as I said before it's no concern of yours. Now, we're returning to glee so at least try to act like you have some sense and not like a toddler begging for its mother's attention. Your focus needs to be on Nationals, nothing else."
Oh, is really the only thought that enters his mind. Oh, Shelby's not just Beth's mom. Oh, Rachel has abandonment issues too. Oh, he really screwed up this time if Rachel won't even forgive him. And finally oh, and it wasn't even worth it because Shelby used him and threw him out just like all the others. He dutifully follows her back into the choir room.