Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
A/N - This is really AU, so keep that in mind while reading please. Written for lots of Challenges, as usual. Anyway, enjoy :)
Written For :
The Three Prompts Competition - Nymphadora Tonks / Silhouette / You aren't the only one who got hurt
The Disney Character Competition - Abu - Tonks
The Animal Competition - Wolf - A Hufflepuff
The Hunger Games - District 9 - A Hufflepuff
The Birthday Competition - April - Zodiac - Patience
The Variety of Prompts Challenge - Harry Potter Related Words - Auror
The Wand Wood Competition - Cypress - Remus Lupin
The Fault In Our Stars Competition - Love is keeping a promise.
Word Count Without A/N - 2256
Love Is
The order meeting finished and people began trickling out from the kitchen in groups of two and three. It had been three months since the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, and the war had taken a solid hold of the wizarding world. Deaths and disappearances marred the meeting as each member had given their reports, each one worse than the last.
Tonks remained behind, set on knocking some sense into the forlorn figure of Remus Lupin.
Since Sirius was knocked through the veil, the werewolf had moped around Grimmauld Place feeling sorry for himself. He had neglected to reply to any of the letters Harry sent, something that was affecting the young man badly she knew. The fledgling relationship that had been forming between herself and Remus had all but died along with Sirius, but at the moment, that wasn't what she was worried about.
Remus was a danger to himself, and anyone out fighting with him, at the moment and unless he wanted to get someone killed, she had to make him snap out of it. He stayed sitting at the table as she stood, talking quietly with Kingsley before he left. When the last person exited the kitchen, she closed the door with a quiet click.
Remus hadn't even realised he wasn't alone, and she watched as he summoned a half empty bottle of Firewhiskey to himself.
"Not even using a glass anymore, Remus?" she said quietly, watching with a small sense of satisfaction as the bottle nearly fell off the table, he jumped so hard.
"I thought everyone had gone," he muttered, putting the lid back on the bottle.
"You're not going to off me any?" She asked, sitting down at the table. "My, my, Remus, what have you done with your manners?"
"Whatever game you're playing, Dora, I'm not in the mood," he growled, narrowing his eyes at her.
"It's Tonks. You lost any and all rights to address me as Dora when you threw me out two months ago," she said, speaking in little more than a whisper though her voice carried in the otherwise silent kitchen.
"Is that what this is about?" he sighed.
"No."
"Then what do you want?"
"That's a loaded question if ever I heard one," she scoffed. "I want you to pull yourself together. I want you to let people in. I want you to accept help when it's freely offered. I want you to remember that you aren't the only one who got hurt when Sirius died. I want you to get a grip!"
She finished with a hand slapped to the table, her voice having risen with every word so that by the end, she had been almost shouting.
"You think you have it bad, Remus?" She asked sarcastically. "What about Harry? He lost his parents, only to get dumped with a pair of monsters that don't deserve to call themselves human beings. Then, when he finally finds out he has a godfather, family, someone who cares about him for who he is, he dies too. Then, if that isn't enough, the other father figure in his life, the one who is still alive, dammit, decides to abandon him because he's feeling fucking sorry for himself. That boy has the world on his shoulder's Remus, and yet, you can't even be bothered to answer a letter to him?"
She was ranting she knew, and she had promised herself she wouldn't. She had promised herself that she would hold her patience, and that hadn't worked either.
Remus sat stiffly, looking at the table, but she could tell he was listening to her. His hands had clenched while she was talking, and a scowl had set deep on his face.
"Have you even read his letters, Remus?"
He looked up to meet her eyes, and she almost flinched. Only her Auror training stopped her from showing fear at the cold harsh look on his face.
"Why is this any of your business, Tonks? Have you grown fond of him, has he been telling you all of his woes, his tales of sorrow? He killed my best friend. That's why I haven't read his letters. That's why I don't want to see him. That's why I don't fucking care, alright?"
Tonks had never in her life been as angry as she was in that moment. Leaning over the table, she slapped Remus hard across the face.
"How dare you!" She snarled at him, glad to see the surprise on his face as he raised a hand to the cheek she had slapped. "Harry is a child. A child, Remus, and you insinuate I might have, what, feelings for the boy? Are you really that stupid? As for Harry killing Sirius, that's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard spew from your mouth. Bellatrix killed Sirius. Sirius was careless, and he paid for it. I stayed tonight, to try and help you. To help you deal with the grief of losing your best friend. Instead, all I want to do is curse you to the fiery pits of hell and never look back. I cared about you. I could have even loved you. You make me sick."
Tonks slammed out of the kitchen, setting Mrs Black's portrait off as she did, and left the house, tears of anger and frustration running down her cheeks.
Remus stared ahead, opening the bottle again, a sad and lonely silhouette of the man he used to be.
xxxx
Two Months Later
"I think we're done for the night. I must get back to the school, anyway," Dumbledore said, closing the meeting. Tonks stood up as soon as the meeting ended, along with Kingsley and Moody, planning to get back to work. She hadn't been sleeping well, and instead of being stuck in her flat, restless and alone, she had been putting in a lot of overtime.
Nodding to the others, she turned to leave, only to be called back.
"Tonks, can I have a word?" Remus asked, and she raised an eyebrow at him.
"I can think of a few 'words' I'd like to say to you, Lupin, but none of them are polite enough to say in front of company, so perhaps it's best if we don't."
"In private I meant. You can say whatever you want then," he replied, and she hated the half smile on his lips that had made her fall for him in the first place.
"Fine. Make it quick."
"The library?" he asked, making a gesture for her to go first.
"After you," she nodded, narrowing her eyes at him when he looked like he was about to argue. Sighing, he left the kitchen, leading her to the spacious library two floors up.
She closed the door behind her, casting privacy charms as she did. She hadn't missed the surprised looks in the kitchen at her hostility towards Remus, and she didn't want anyone trying to eavesdrop.
"Well?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently.
"I...You were right. About everything you said. I'm sorry."
"Good. See you at the next meeting."
As she turned to leave, she heard him sit down heavily in one of the overstuffed armchairs.
"Dora, please wait. Please?"
She felt her resolve crumble and she paused in her movements, waiting to see what he had to say.
"Would you share a drink with me?"
"No."
"Butterbeer only, I promise," he said quickly, apparently knowing where her mind was going without her having to say it.
She sighed, nodding as she sat down facing him.
"What do you want, Remus?" she asked tiredly.
"I wanted to thank you. After you left, I... Well. I got drunk and trashed the kitchen, but then, then I sat and I cried, and I grieved for my friend. When I woke up the day after, I had a killer hangover of course, but I felt better. I have you to thank for that. So thank you."
She nodded. No matter how angry she was with him, she was glad her words had gotten through to him.
"You've written to Harry?" She asked, wondering if this was the reason for the smile on Harry's face when she saw him in Hogsmead the weekend previous.
"I have. I've apologised to him, and I'll make it up to him, one way or another. He isn't the only one I have things to make up for though, is he?"
"You don't need to worry about me, Remus," she replied, taking a drink of the Butterbeer he had handed to her. "I'm a big girl. I don't need looking after."
"You look like you could use some though. Please, don't get me wrong, you're as beautiful as always, but you look tired, Dora. Really tired."
She looked at him for a long moments, willing the tears she could feel brewing behind her eyes to go away. They didn't and before she knew it they had fallen from her eyes, dripping onto pale cheeks as she stared at the only man she had ever loved. Why couldn't he have done this before? Why had he made her hate him, to get to this point?
"Dora? Please, don't cry," he said, leaning forward to wipe away her tears, moving his hand when she flinched away from him. "Merlin, I'm so so sorry."
"Stop," she told him, angrily brushing the tears off her cheeks. "Just... Stop, alright. Don't make me... Don't make me love you more. Please. Just... I have to go."
Tonk's left the library, leaving Remus watching from behind her, wondering what on earth he could do to fix the mess he had made.
xxxx
Dumbledore called an emergency meeting of the Order.
Remus sat at the table, wondering what was happening and why Moody and Tonks were missing from the table when Kingsley stood up.
"I... I don't even know how to say this," the man said, and Remus felt his heart sink into his stomach. He knew what was coming. They all did, and as tears fell onto people's cheeks, Remus sat staring numbly at Kingsley, waiting for the words to spill from his mouth.
"Moody and Tonks were out on what we all thought was a routine call. They were ambushed. It was a setup from the start. Moody... Alastor jumped in front of a Killing curse, to protect Dora, who was shielding three Muggle children. It hit him in the chest."
A cry from Molly stopped him from continuing for a moment, but he looked like he need a minute to pull himself together.
"Dora, she's going to be alright, at least the Healers at 's said she will be. We arrived in time to intercept the Death Eaters. As soon as she's ready, we'll be moving her here to recover. It's safer than the hospital."
Dumbledore, the twinkle conspicuously missing from his eyes, started the meeting. Remus sat in absolute shock, promising himself that he would prove to Dora that he loved her. He would make up for what he had done.
It was a week later when Tonks was moved to Grimmauld, and in that week, Remus had been hard at work making a room up for her that was not only habitable, but pleasant.
It was another day when he finally got to see her alone.
Entering the room with her breakfast on a tray, he found her sat up in bed, a haunted look in her eyes.
"Dora."
She turned to him, looking but not really seeing, as he put her breakfast on a small table out of the way. Sitting down gently on the bed, he pulled her into his arms. She tensed for a minute, but finally, she let go. Sobbing into his shoulder, she clutched at him like he was a lifeline.
It could have been seconds, minutes or hours, neither of them knew, before pulled back.
"Sorry," she sniffed wiping at her face. "I got your shirt all wet."
"Don't worry about it. It'll wash. How are you feeling?"
"I don't know. Until now, numb. Now... relieved? I don't know. I miss him."
"I know. It will get easier, but you'll always miss him."
"Thanks. For being here, I mean."
"I'll do for you what I wouldn't allow you to do for me."
She nodded, settling down in the bed. Remus stroked her head gently.
"I love you," he whispered, thinking she was asleep. Her eyes opened wide, staring at him in shock.
"Don't say something you don't mean, Remus."
"I do mean it. Years ago, Lily told me something. She said, Love is keeping a promise, and that was how she knew James loved her. In Second year, he promised her he would still love her in seventh year, and she said if he did, she'd go on a date with him. Anyway, If love is keeping a promise, then I promise you this. I'll be here for you, whenever you need me for whatever reason, for as long as I live."
She smiled at him softly, snuggling into the blanket and leaning into his hand.
"I love you, too."