Summary:
I recently read R.A Salvatores Drizzt tales series and I found these little... monologues, if you will, rather interesting. So i'm going to "burrow" his idea and use edit the entire tale of Cry of a Restless Soul.

Disclaimer:
I do not own any J.K Rowling created characters or names; I am merely duplicating her great work in the way I feel like articling events. The only character, for now, that I own, is Aran Schmitz who is introduced in the second chapter. I also do not own the title of the story or the chapter titles; they essentially belong to one of my favourite power metal bands, Lost Horizon. The next story will be the same, duplicating song titles from one of my many favourite metal bands. I do not intend to earn profit from this story and if I do end up selling it to someone I will distribute the profit accordingly to the owners of the many things in this story. I also do not own the idea of monologues at the beginng of certain parts of stories.

Part One:

Lost Horizon

My life has always been one of constant danger and fast-paced conflicts. I have attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding for… five years now. A minuscule amount of time for a normal human life, yet I have learnt more from the experiences of this simple school than I have from my normal home.

Home, it is something I have been denied from all of my life. I was envious of the people who would talk daily about their siblings playing Quidditch, playing gobstones or other such activates to pass the time. I thought myself a failure because of the Dursleys, who had denied absolutely everything from me. As I gazed at a small child before the Quidditch World Cup in the summer before my fourth year, he was playing with his father's wand. I felt jealously roar inside of me, for I was denied the very existence of wands and magic until the age of eleven.

Though I feel that I must thank the Dursleys, for it is they who have moulded me into the shape that I am today, the shy yet brave and strong boy called Harry Potter, the Boy-who-lived, and most recently, the Chosen One. Though names and titles have always been rather irrelevant in my opinion, the pampering of Dudley Dursley has taught me that much.

Is the Dursley residence the true home of Harry James Potter though? Is Godric's Hollow even my home? This has always been a goal for my life, to find my true home.

I could say it is Hogwarts, I thought that too when I saw it for the first time, but later in my teens, I found out that I did not belong there. For that was the home for everyone, the home for the peasants, the home for the rich, the home for the knowledgeable, the home for the stupid.

Hogwarts accepted every individual, no matter what colour, or what intelligence, and what race. Hogwarts did not bring me the comforting, relaxing feeling that I longed for and that everyone else around me has already found.

I lusted for this feeling, it took over my mind, leaving it for Voldemort to crawl right in and do what he wanted to do. I knew he had entered my mind too, but did I care? Voldemort was always just another obstacle in my way to finding my true home.

I could say my home was where all my friends gathered, where they laughed and drank, swapping various tales about their lives and their wants. I thought that too, when I realized Hogwarts wasn't my true home. Then I realized that it was not true, for my friends were slowly, yet very obviously, distancing themselves from my existence. Instead pleasing themselves with their respective relationships and futures, I thought for a long time in my fifth year, that I was indeed in love with someone.

Love is something that's also been denied for me and it's also something that everyone else around me has always earned as soon as they were born. I was born with death around me, clouding my existence with darkness.

Home, love, a family to call your own… all of these things I was born without, yet I continue to live. Just like everyone else around me. Death has not yet stung me with its long fingered black hands; I have escaped the feared death many times to this day.

Yet… do I want to escape it any longer? Does my existence have no other purpose other then to be Lord Voldemort's bane? Does my life have no meaning behind it? Does life indeed have any meaning behind it? We are born, we live, sucking knowledge into our minds and thirst for power, while trying to grasp ultimate power, we die, our body wasting away with the millions of others of the dead.

Death is the inevitable outcome of life, I know now that was what Dumbledore was trying to tell me so long ago. The first year of Hogwarts seems so far away now, the blissful welcoming feeling that Hogwarts seemed to enter my eleven year old body the instant I laid eyes upon it.

I cannot deny that my life at Hogwarts is better than the life at the Dursleys; but is there another place that I can actually call my true home? One that I may live in peace and welcome death wholeheartedly? I am turning sixteen in a matter of hours, if I want to find this blessed place, for that is my true objective of life.

Or so I hope so, for if the only purpose of my existence was to fulfil the Prophecy… it would be a rather pitiful existence yes?

- Harry Potter