So everyone, welcome to my second posted fanfic. This is a little crackfic I wrote, just because.

There are multiple FemSheps in this piece, an idea I stole from The Sarendoctrinator on the BSN. All of my Shepard PTs are here. First is Margaret: Earthborn, American, Lone Survivor, Sentinal. She romanced Garrus. Second is Margurite: Earthborn, Danish-English, War Hero, Sentinal, Thane lover and Drellicker extraordinaire. She is the star of my other fics, Unfulfilled Desires, and Invictus. The third is Laura Mae: Spacer, Australian-Chinese heritage, Ruthless, Infiltrator, and Jacob's priiiize (sorry).

There is no connection to the Invictus timeline. None at all. So no spoilers, to those who have been asking for them.

A warning now, this is nowhere in the league of Unfulfilled Desires, at least in my opinion. I just finished it now, after spending the last *looks at clock* 7 hours sitting here at my laptop Alistair (well, I wasn't going to name him Zevran. That's just way too obvious, lol). It is also unbeta-d, so ye be warned, all ye who enter here.

To everyone who read Unfulfilled Desires; to everyone who reviewed, favourited, and Author Alerted me, here and on DA; to FeZeTh13, Crystal_Bulma, Cosmochyck, JECWSU, Friera, Sarendoctrinator, TashaVakarian, GrayWolf, Drell Warrioress, Ellise, Asenza, wildannie, hanar, FleshDress, Purple_Lobster, Dauntershi, Allelujah_Kyrios, Squeegee83, KaidanFanGirl, and anyone else I may have forgotten: Thank you. So much. You have no idea how much it means to me that you read it, and that you liked it. I hope you like this one too.

The title comes from the song "Solid Rock" by the Goanna's. Just because I've had it playing in my head all day and it wouldn't shut up. It's just that good a song. YouTube it. You'll love it!

The song playing in the story is Megan McCauley's "Tap That", in honour of Roarkshop and the Sexy Mass Effect Men fanvid she has on YouTube. Look that one up too! It's Awesome! :D

Solid Rock.

The elevator doors hissed open, allowing a green-scaled male to pass through to the CIC. He took one look towards the Galaxy Map and immediately tried to back away before anyone saw him.

The Gods were not so kind. Kelly heard the elevator arrive and had turned to trap whoever was so unfortunate in the conflict that was unfolding. "Thane! Oh, thank God."

Thane closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders drooping ever so slightly. He shook his head. Why, Arashu? Please, just tell me why.

Kelly ran up to him, grabbing his arm and dragging him further into the room. "Thane, please, you have to stop them! They'll kill each other!"

Thane steeled his spine, meeting the young woman's eyes. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"I don't know. I came back from a session with one of the crew and there were at each other's throats," Kelly said.

"Is it not your job to help them resolve their differences?" Thane asked. He had absolutely no desire to play peace maker. That was Maggie's job.

Kelly stared at him. "I can only help those who want to be helped. What those two want is to be given free rein to beat the living shit out each other."

Thane growled low in his throat. Those two women near constant bickering was becoming rather irritating. He looked down at Kelly. "Very well, Kelly. I will do my best."

Kelly sighed, relief written all over her face. "Thank you, Thane," she said gratefully. "Honestly, I worry for them both if they do not work this out. If you can convince either of them to come to me…"

"As I said, I will do my best," Thane replied. "Though, perhaps you should convince Jacob to come out and help."

Kelly nodded. "I was just about to," she said.

Thane bowed elegantly towards Kelly before the woman ran towards the Armoury.

Thane straightened, and glared at the two combatants. Since they insist on behaving as children... He walked over to them.

Standing at the galaxy map were two of the three Commanders now aboard the Normandy. Margurite Shepard was standing with her hands on her hips, her tall and mature figure shown off by the long wrap around skirt and skin-tight off the shoulder top she was wearing. Her pale skin fairly glowed from the light of the holograph in front of her. Her intricate tattoos of Hugin and Munin were like black holes on her shoulder blades. Her blonde hair, now streaked with grey, swept past her jaw. It hid her eyes; eyes he knew were a deep soulful green. Eyes he also knew would be burning with rage.

Those eyes were directed at Laura Mae Shepard. Short, spunky, and housing a temper that would rival a krogan's. Her yellow-brown skin looked murky compared to Margurite's, making the whites of her brown eyes shine. Her long brown hair was tied back in her usual military style bun. She was standing there in her casual Alliance uniform, a uniform he knew she hated, but much like Margurite and the Cerberus uniforms, one that Laura tolerated because she had to.

Margurite leaned in towards Laura. Laura crossed her arms and leaned in towards Margurite.

Laura snarled. "Listen here, you aristocratic, alcoholic daughter of a…"

Margurite jerked. "Don't you dare insult my mother, you arrogant, miserable, little whore!"

Laura smirked. "That's a little hypocritical, coming from you!"

Margurite stepped closer to the other woman. "You have no idea what I had to do to survive those streets. I only did what I had to, while you were flying around out here, from one station to the next, living it up in whosever bed you fell into at night."

Thane growled loudly. "ENOUGH!" he yelled.

The two women jumped apart, surprised to find him standing at the bottom of the platform. Margurite smiled slightly, her eyes softening a little at the sight of him.

While the sight of her giving him that loving smile normally made his heart clench, today Thane was not having any of it. He shot his Siha one of his best glares. The smile fell from her face, leaving it cold. I'll make it up to her later, Thane thought.

Thane looked from one to the other. "May I enquire as to the cause of this... discussion?"

Margurite and Laura both opened their mouths to speak at once. "I…" "She…"

Thane held up a hand. "No. It is not important. This needs to stop."

Laura glared at him. "It is none of your business, frog-boy. So would you kindly leave? Now," she said, her voice low, and her scars glowing a demonic, Saren-esque red.

Thane stared her down. "Your constant bickering is disturbing the crew. As a member of the crew, it is my concern. Doubly so, when you are targeting my wife!"

"It's mine, too." Jacob said. He walked out of the Armoury to stand beside Thane. "All the arguing you two are doing is affecting everyone else on the ship. You even have Wrex and Grunt concerned. And quite frankly, I can't get any work done, with you two going at each other all damn day!"

Margurite folded her arm, her pose identical to Laura's. "Watch your tone, Lieutenant."

Jacob stood his ground. "No, Commander. With all due respect I will not. The constant stress you are putting Laura under is not good for the child."

Margurite stared back at Jacob in shock. A small twinge of sadness flittered across her face before she steeled her features into a calm, dispassionate façade. But Thane saw it. His heart twinged in sympathy. She is still suffering.

Thane looked at Jacob. "They are both at fault. You cannot blame one over the other, Jacob."

Jacob nodded, realising his words. "My apologies, Commander, Krios," he said.

Margurite and Thane nodded their acceptance. Laura stared at her boyfriend. "I'm pregnant, Jacob, not an invalid."

Thane's mouth twitched. Irikah stares up at me from the bed, indignant, sunset eyes flashing. She frowns. "I'm pregnant, Thane, not an invalid."

Thane snaps himself out of it. Laura and Jacob stare at him, while Margurite just rolls her eyes at him. She had gotten used to his occasional lapses into solipsism. Thane cleared his throat with a cough. "My apologies, everyone," he said. He looked to the two women. "There actually was a reason for my coming to find you."

Margurite stepped down from the galaxy map to stand before him. "What is it, Thane? Has something happened to Kolyat?"

Thane shook his head. "Kolyat is well, Siha. I also came looking for Laura."

Laura looked up at him. "What do you want me for, Krios?"

"Miranda requested I fetch you. You are needed on the Crew Deck."

Laura frowned. "Why didn't she just message me, or get EDI to tell me."

Thane smiled. "She did."

Laura blinked, and then checked her omni-tool. "Oh, she did," she said. Laura shrugged. "I better go see what she wants."

Laura hopped down from the platform. Suddenly she fell. Jacob rushed forward and caught her. "Are you all right, Laura?"

Laura stood. "Perfect. Now if you excuse me," Laura said. She straightened the hem of her top, and strode towards the elevator. Jacob followed close behind, shadowing her ever step. The elevator doors hissed opened, the two stepped inside, and soon disappeared from sight.

Thane smiled. He slid his arm around Margurite and pulled him to her. Margurite rested her hands on his chest, tracing the scar along his breastbone. Thane rested his forehead against her, and stared deep into her eyes. "Are you all right, Siha?" he asked.

Margurite smiled at him. "I will be. It's was just a shock, finding out that Laura was pregnant."

Thane crooned softly at his wife. "You still mourn, Siha," he said. It wasn't a question.

Margurite nodded. "I do," she said. She coughed, and put on a smile. "What's going on?" she asked.

Thane chuckled. "There's some sort of celebration on the crew deck. The mess is covered in food, alcohol, and human decorations displaying the Alliance insignia and a representation of Earth."

Margurite frowned. "Alliance insignia? Oh wait, I know. It's the Terra Day party Miranda asked me for!"

"I beg your pardon, Siha. But what is this 'Terra Day?'" Thane asked.

Margurite grinned. "It the day that humans were recognised by the Citadel Council and officially welcomed into the galactic community. Every year people everywhere throw massive parties to celebrate," she said. She grabbed her husband's hand and drew him towards the elevator. "Come, my love. It is sacrilege not to celebrate!"

Laura and Jacob stepped from the elevator into chaos. Suddenly the skeleton crew made sense. Everyone was here, knee deep in food and alcohol. Alliance and Earth flags were everywhere, and tacked on to the walls were the national flags of every member of the crew. Donnelly was there, with a four-pronged plant leave painted on to a hat, and a tall glass full of green Guinness. The new cook, Vittorio, was belting out La Donna E Mobile in his native Italian. One of the soldiers was dressed as a matador, taunting Kelly with his cape. Three others were dancing Zorbas Dance in the middle of the room, only one of whom was Greek.

Even the squad was there. Zaeed was in the corner, a black fern leaf painted on his face, where he was teaching Wrex and Grunt the Haka. Kasumi had ditched her usual outfit in favour for a traditional kimono, fake cherry blossoms in her hair. Liara, Samara and Mordin were standing against a wall, each with a glass in their hands. Margaret, dressed in red, white and blue, had even managed to get Garrus out of the Main Battery, and was straddling his lap, attacking his lips with everything she had.

Laura grinned. She threw her hands in the air. "TERRA DAY! WOOT!" she yelled. Every human in the room cheered with her.

Miranda stood up behind the counter where she was making a cocktail. "Laura!" she yelled.

Laura grabbed Jacob's hand and they made their way through the throng to the woman. Miranda was wearing a green and yellow bikini, and had the Australian flag tied around her as a sarong.

Miranda grinned and thrust a drink in each of their hands. "Here! Drink!" she said. She gave Laura a look. "Non-alcoholic for you, Missy!"

Laura grinned. Miranda had been the first person she told when she found out she was pregnant. Her friend had been so happy for her, despite her own sadness at never being able to have a child of her own. Laura had decided there and then to ask her to be the child's Godmother. Jacob had agreed, and together they had asked her the day before. Miranda had said yes, and was making sure Laura took care of herself as much as Jacob was.

Laura took a sip of her drink. "It's good, Miri."

Miranda smiled. "Thank you. Now, Jacob, do you mind if I borrow her for a moment?" she asked.

Jacob shook his head. "Just bring her back, Miranda," he said.

Miri grabbed Laura's hand and dragged her into her quarters. Resting on the back of a chair was another bikini, and some Chinese hair sticks. Miranda pointed at them. "Go, get changed."

Laura looked at Miranda as if she had suddenly sprouted a second head. And then a third. "Miranda, I was born in space, remember. I have no nationality."

Miranda waved her hand. "That is absolutely no reason not to acknowledge your heritage. Now get dressed."

After a quick trip up to the loft, Margurite and Thane stepped out onto the Crew Deck. Margurite had changed from her skirt and top and was wearing a belted medieval style dress, a horned helmet, and had Union Jack earrings in her ears. She smiled as she remembered the trip to the Viking festival in Denmark she had been to after basic training. She had truly fallen in love with her ancestry that day.

Thane stood beside her, chuckling to himself at the sight Margaret and Garrus made as Garrus struggled to make it back to the Main Battery with Margaret wrapped around him.

Vittorio waved them over to the table the food was placed on. Their new navigator, Hanne, was standing there with a drinking horn in her hand. "Hey, Viking, who would have won, your ancestors or mine?"

Hanne snorted. "Yeah, smart move, Roman. Ask the Dane Devil."

Margurite laughed. "Shut up, Swede, and pass me a horn!"

Thane watched his wife and the navigator bump their horns and downed the sweet smelling drink. He only grew concerned when she went back for third refill. The news of Laura's pregnancy had hit her more than she was letting on. At the fourth refill he took the horn from her, and drank it himself. He was surprised to find that he liked it. He led her away from the table, leaving the corrupting influences behind to brag of their ancestors accomplishments.

Margurite snatched at her horn. "Hey, give that back!"

Thane smiled. "Make me, Siha."

Margurite laughed. "Oh, you're going to get it now, my handsome assassin."

They looked towards the mess counter for more drinks. Miranda and Laura were shaking up cocktails, bumping hips and dancing to the music. Margurite sighed. "Can you excuse me for a minute, Thane? I really need to talk to Laura."

Thane frowned at her. "Would this not be better left for another time, Siha?"

Margurite shook her head. "No. It has to be done now," she said. She smiled, and planted a kiss on his cheek. "It'll be all right. Just try to enjoy yourself."

Thane squeezed her hand. "I'm here if you need me," he said.

"I know."

Margurite disentangled herself from her husband, and made her way to Laura. The woman glared at her when she saw her in front of her. Margurite sighed. "Can we talk please, Laura?"

Laura shook her head. "Not now."

"Please, Laura?"

Miranda took the container out of Laura's hands. "Go, you can use my office," she said.

Laura glared at her. "Traitor," she muttered under her breath. Miranda ignored her.

Laura sighed. "Fine," she said. She led the way, Margurite following behind. She sat behind Miranda's desk, and looked up at the woman. "So, Commander, what do you want?"

Margurite sighed. "I just wanted to say congratulations," she said. "It's a wonderful thing, having a child."

Laura snorted. "Yeah, how would you know what this is like?" she retorted.

Margurite smiled sadly, and sank into the chair opposite her. "It is hell. Blood pressure goes up, energy levels go down, hormones go flying out of control. You can't stomach the smell of your favourite food and spend hours every morning cramped up over a toilet bowl. By the end you can't even get out of a chair on your own, you can't remember what your feet look like, you feel like you're about to herniate your entire spine and every major organ in your body is squished and pushed into places they really shouldn't go. And then when it's finally time for the little bastard to just come out, you spend hours and hours in absolute agony when every muscle in your stomach contacts and when you finally, finally, push the little sucker out…" Margurite paused. She closed her eyes, hiding the tears forming behind them.

Finally she looked up at Laura, and she smiled. "When it is finally born, when you look down, and you see the little person you have carried inside you for so long, you realise that everything, the nausea, the pain, was all worth it. And you wouldn't change it for the world."

Laura frowned as Margurite spoke. The woman was so soft, yet so adamant, so sincere. Laura had never thought it before; no journalist had ever found that out about her, but… "You have a child, don't you?"

Margurite smiled sadly. "I did. A little girl."

She did? Laura's heart clenched inside her chest. She placed her hands over her stomach, over her and Jacob's child that lay nestled inside her womb. "What happened?"

Margurite sniffed. "She died." She choked on a sob, tried to turn it into a laugh. "It's funny, you know. They can bring us back from the dead, but they couldn't cure SIDS."

"How old was she?" Laura asked quietly.

"Three weeks," Margurite murmured. And she cried. She couldn't stop it. The tears wouldn't stop, the pain wouldn't end. She would always feel the sadness, the guilt, of her child's passing. She sobbed. "She passed away during the night. I didn't hear her crying at all that night. I thought that maybe she was starting to sleep through the night, you know. I didn't find her until morning, when I went in to feed her. She had been dead for hours."

Laura felt a tear slide down her cheek. She hastily swept it away. Damn it. I want to stay angry at you!

She couldn't though. The thought that she could suffer the way the woman across from her had suffered, was still suffering, absolutely terrified her. She loved the little life inside her, more than anything, and Margurite made her accept the very real possibility that just maybe that wouldn't be enough.

Laura got up, rounded Miranda's desk, and took her rival in her arms. "It's not your fault, Margurite. You did nothing wrong."

Margurite sniffed in her arms. "I know, but I still feel it." She pulled away from Laura, looked up at her with red eyes. "He's right, you know."

Laura blinked. "Who's right?" she asked.

Margurite smiled. "Jacob. This, let's say distrust, between us, the stress, it's just going to make things harder for you. We really need to get past it, for your child, if not for ourselves."

Laura frowned. "Or our husbands."

Margurite smiled. "I didn't know you and Jacob had married. Congratulations."

Laura shook her head. "We didn't. I guess I just think of him that way," she said. Then she sighed. "I still don't like you. You're far too… goody-goody."

"Kicking a merc out of a window was goody-goody?"

Laura laughed. "Okay maybe not that."

Margurite laughed with her. "Pax? At least until the baby's born?"

Laura nodded. "Pax." And she threw her arms around Margurite and hugged her tight.

Thane stood at the counter with Miranda. Jacob had joined them a few minutes ago. They were all staring towards Miranda's quarters. Thane lifted Margurite's drinking horn to his lips, filled now with a fruity tea.

Jacob sighed. "They've been in there a while," he said, concerned.

Thane nodded. "I know," he said. He passed Miranda the horn. "We better check on them."

"Oh, no you don't." Miranda placed hand on his shoulder. "We haven't heard any yelling, or anyone being thrown against a wall. They will be fine. They need to do this."

Thane and Jacob both rested back against the counter. Thane clapped Jacob on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Jacob. Having a child is a wonderful thing."

Jacob nodded. "Thanks, Krios. It scares the shit out of me though."

Thane nodded. "It's a feeling that will never go away, Jacob. But I guarantee, you wouldn't change it for the world."

Jacob smiled. "I don't want to now." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Miranda rub her eyes. Oh, shit. That was right. Miranda couldn't have children, and here they were, discussing theirs right in front of her. He quickly changed the subject. "So, Miri, Happy Australia Day, by the way."

Miranda smiled. "Thanks, mate." She and Jacob chinked glasses.

Thane frowned. "Australia day?" he asked. "I thought it was Terra Day?"

Miranda grinned. "It's both. January 26 is the day we Aussies celebrate the forming of our nation as a separate entity from Mother England. Terra Day, just happens to fall on the same day."

Thane nodded. "I see." He looked towards Jacob. "How did you know?"

Jacob grinned. "I was stationed for a couple of years in Brisbane and Melbourne. The Australia Day festivities were a big thing!"

Miranda laughed. "Congratulations, Jacob. You actually managed to pronounce Brisbane and Melbourne properly! For a Yank, anyway." Miranda gave Thane back the horn. "It holds very special significance for me too."

Thane frowned. "If you do not wish to speak of it, Miranda…"

Miranda shook her head. "No, Thane. It's all right," she said. She took a deep breath. "I was about 15, and I had managed to sneak out of my father's house for the first time. There were people all around, laughing, smiling. It was wonderful. I met a young man that day. Tall, lanky, kind of geeky, not at all the type of person my father would allow me to associate with. He took me to the beach where the city council was throwing a huge party. It was… liberating. No tutors, no doctors, no pressure to be perfect in every way possible. Most of all no father manipulating me. It was the first time I met someone who didn't know who I was, or who I was supposed to be." Miranda smiled. "It was the day I decided that I was going to escape. I spent the few years planning, preparing. The when I was ready, I ran. And I haven't looked back since." She lifted her cocktail to her lips. "And that was my Great Escape."

Thane smiled. "You have changed, Miranda. When we first met, you would never have told any of us about yourself."

Miranda shrugged. "I guess your wife had taught me to appreciate life a little more," she said.

"She is very good at that," Thane replied.

The doors to Miranda's quarters opened. Margurite and Laura stepped out, their arms around each other's waist. Both had trails of make up running over their cheeks.

Jacob and Thane exchanged a concerned look. They stood, leaving their drinks behind, and went to their women.

Thane took Margurite in his arms. She looked tired, pained, but relaxed somewhat. "Siha, is everything all right?"

Margurite nodded. "Yes. It is." She turned her head to look at Laura. Jacob held her tight, gently kissing her dried tears away. She smiled, and looked back to her husband, the strong, spiritual, philosophical assassin who had stolen her heart without her even knowing until it was far too late. She gently pressed a kiss to his lips. "Take me home, my love."

Thane led his wife back to the elevator and up to the loft. Laura looked over Jacob's shoulder and watched them as they left. She smiled. She may not like either of them overly much, but their love was something that was very hard to deny.

She glanced up into Jacob's beautiful brown eyes. His love was even harder to resist, when she returned it in full measure. "I love you, Jacob."

Jacob kissed her. "I love you too, Laura."

Miranda cleared her throat. "If you two are going to try to create a twin for that baby of yours, I suggest you take it elsewhere," she said dryly.

Laura and Jacob both laughed. "No, we're good," Laura replied. She took Jacob back to the counter, and picked up a cocktail shaker again. She began mixing. "Hey Miranda? Did you know Margurite had a child?"

Miranda nodded, slicing up lemon wedged for the drinks. "Yes. She told me. It was terrible that the complications of the birth left her unable to have more children."

Laura frowned. "She can't have kids?" she asked.

Miranda smiled. "No. At least, not before."

Jacob looked at her. "Before? You mean she can have children now?"

Laura gave Miranda a glare. "Did you tell her that?"

Miranda returned the glare. "Yes, darling Laura, I told her. She didn't believe me. Even when I showed her the reports." She grinned. "She's too stubborn. Just like you."

Laura screwed up her face at her best friend. "Oh, ha ha, Miri."

Jacob smiled quietly, knowing better than to say anything.

Four months later, and the entire medical community was in an uproar. Laura wasn't the only Shepard having a child...

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYONE!

Thane lamingtons and Normandy Pavlovas for all!