Tom Riddle's Diary: Early Years of Being a Teenage Evil Angsty Diary

Day 1 as a Horcrux:

1pm.

Very well done, me. Creating horcrux, yet another way I can never be defeated. Very well done me.

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2pm

*Looks around* Hmm I guess a part of my soul actually has to stay here.

Interesting.

3pm.

*Kicks wall.* I should've left some kind of play plan or something to keep me occupied. I don't even have cable, wifi or a piano forte to practice my Chopin concerto!

Bugger it. Why did the other 6/7 of me think I would be fine stuck in a diary?! Voldemort think your plans through, you idiot!

I'm bored!

4pm

Fuck this shit. I'm getting out of here! *scratches at walls* Help! Somebody help me! I'm a teenage dark lord stuck in a diary! Help let me out! I'm just like a genie in a bottle, you just have to rub me the right way!

6pm

Fuck me, I'm bored. This place sucks big time. Fuck. I hate myself.

If I don't have people to torture or take over the world, I get BORED big time.

7pm

*scratches and rolls around pages dramatically* I'm so bored and handsome, SOMEBODY PLAY WITH ME! If somebody doesn't pick up this diary right now, I'm going to sue myself!

9pm

Can one sue oneself for being a boring, stupid prat who leaves 1/7th of one's soul in a boring, drab diary?

The idiot older version of me should've had at least left me in a muggle library. At least I could've killed a few muggles for fun.

Fuck.

10pm.

Going to sleep. I better wake up to a god forsaken better day tomorrow!

Please god, merlin, whoever, whatever higher power is out there: please give me someone to torture or control tomorrow! You know I wasn't given these psycho killer instincts for nothing, I have to use them on something. Just give me one muggle please! PLEASEEEE! I need to use my cunning, manipulative evil skills on somebody!

God: please send me somebody stupid enough to read my diary!

Thank you.

11pm

ZZZzzzzzz. *snores* zzzzzzz.

1am

Oh, so I can fall asleep here. That is good to know. I might have to sleep the next 200 years because I'm bored as fuck. And I'm going to be mad as fuck and ready to slaughter everyone once I get out of here. Damn me. Damn me!

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