Parties really were not Eridan's forte, nor had he really wanted to attend this holiday celebration. It was not like he detested Christmas completely, only the things that associated with couples and socializing in a mass group of people Eridan didn't really care to know. An example would be his current situation. He had been invited by Feferi to attend some festivity she had decided to throw for Christmas for her friends. Or really, he had been forced to go in a very polite way, even if that was possible. Of course the princess always got what she wanted.
Really, Eridan wouldn't have minded going to Feferi's party, but it was so much more crowded than he had anticipated. It should have been expected, in all honesty. Feferi was a person who loved to interact with everyone around her, and everyone loved to be around her bubbly personality. There was always a piece of Feferi that caught someone's attention. So it naturally should have been assumed there would be a decent amount of people attending the party. Which made it all the worse for Eridan to be there.
Feferi had invited Eridan to attend the Christmas celebration out of kind natural and the fact she still considered him a friend. He still thought of her as a dear friend as well, even though he wished she was more than just that. Except that would never happen, and Eridan knew that. He messed up too badly. Not to mention the bitter fact that she was dating the pompous asshole Sollux, and from the looks of it, Feferi was better off with him than with Eridan. He accepted the truth, despite the fact he hated it.
So here he was, standing off to the side of the snack table and sipping some cherry-flavored punch. It was like he was that one nervous boy at his first dance, and all the other kids were having a fantastic time. The entire time sucks because he's too shy to ask any of the girls to dance with him. At the moment of consideration to go home, that one girl he always stole glance at offered to dance with him and then everything ended splendidly.
Except this scenario wasn't a shitty metaphor and the girl Eridan had his eyes on wasn't saving his evening.
A strained sigh escaped through Eridan's lips as he gazed into the plastic cup he held, swirling it so the liquid shifted with the cup. Something about the miniature whirlpool made his current mood fall down another notch so he stopped the motion. A tempting thought of just leaving crossed his mind as he watched the meandering strangers associate with each other in little groups. Some party-goers were dancing in rhythm to the music and a few had strayed to the snack table.
Despite the fact he had been welcomed to come the party, Eridan just didn't feel like he belonged there. So he decided to leave. Dropping his refreshment in the trash bin, Eridan pressed himself away from the wall and eased his way across the room. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was a little more than heartbroken that Feferi hadn't even paid him a little attention aside from greeting him when he had arrived. What was a guy with love issues to do though?
It wasn't until he reached the doorway that he felt a grip on his arm, felt his heart give a little jump from initial surprise.
"And just where do you think you're going, Mr. Ampora?" questioned a falsely stern voice. It was Feferi.
It had to be some unjustified karma lashing at Eridan, because why else would Feferi now pay attention to him?
"I'm going home," he responded.
"Why? The party only started a little while ago. You can't go home yet!" Feferi stated. Her voice sounded so sincere about wanting him to stay.
"Because I'm bored as hell, an' honestly, I didn't want to come here in the first place," Eridan countered. The sour tone in his voice was noticeable, and Feferi was probably frowning at the back of his head.
Eridan felt his arm being tugged, a gesture for him to turn around, and he did, even though he didn't want to look Feferi in the eyes. His assumption of her frowning had been right.
"Well, I'm sorry you're bored, Eridan, but that's your own fault," she retorted. "Everyone else is having a wonderful time by actually socializing with each other."
Really, Eridan wished he could have left and avoided this conversation. Drifting his gaze off Feferi, he happened to look in the wrong direction and caught a glance of Sollux staring at the pair, the tiniest hint of a scowl on his face.
"I don't feel like socializin' with anybody, Fef. I just want to go home."
Feferi's expression softened from a frown to something shy of sympathetic. "I know you don't like being around new people, Eridan, but come on! It's Christmas Eve, and you shouldn't be locked away by yourself."
He didn't know how to respond so he simply shrugged.
"Come on, blowfish, stay a little longer," Feferi tried to urge. "I'm sure you will begin to enjoy yourself after a little bit."
"No, Fef, I'm not stayin'," he remarked. He hadn't meant to sound as harsh as he had, but he was firm on leaving. "I've been here long enough, and I've been ignored since the moment I walked through the door. I'm not stayin' in a place I'm not even going to get a little attention from."
"Is that really what you're upset about?" The frown had returned to Feferi's face, and her voice held a tone of annoyance in it. "Just because no one is talking to you, you're going to get mad at them?"
"No, dammit," Eridan quietly growled out. "I'm not mad at anyone. I just… Fef, I'm leaving so stop tryin' to persuade me otherwise."
"You just what?" Feferi needled. She was keen on figuring out what had Eridan really upset, and dammit, why was that? She shouldn't be so caring, not towards him. "Come on, tell me."
"I'm…" Eridan struggled with getting the words out. He'd always been like that, even before he messed up his friendship with Feferi. He never could speak out what he meant to. Or really, he wouldn't; he was too stubborn to admit things. "I'm frustrated with you an' our relationship."
Obviously Feferi hadn't been expecting that because her frown morphed into surprise. She didn't say anything so he went on. "I'm tired of you tryin' to involve me with things you do an' then not even pay any mind to me. I feel fuckin' left out, and I wish you would have just let me be."
He waited for her to respond one way or another, but Feferi didn't say anything. Her face didn't give much relevance to what she was thinking either. The moments ticked into a minute before she said anything.
She let out a sigh before speaking. "Eridan, we've been over this. I still consider you my frond," Eridan gave her a disbelieving look for the pun before she smiled a little and continued, "and I still want to hang out with you, but I'm not going to center the world on you. You have to entertain yourself sometimes when we hang out with our friends."
She was right, as usual. "I know, I know," he muttered. Apparently the conversation wasn't done so he leaned against the door. Although something caught his attention, and when he looked up he noticed mistletoe hanging above them from a string. Maybe that was why Sollux had been looking their way.
Feferi noticed Eridan's attention had been shifted to something else, and she followed his gaze. "What are you looking at?" A pause. "Oh."
Well, what else could make this evening any more awful? Eridan sighed before looking back down at Feferi, and he was surprised to see a conflicted expression her face, like she was trying to decide something important.
He had been about to ask what was wrong when Feferi suddenly stood on her tiptoes and placed a chaste kiss on Eridan's cheek. It surprised him and a bewildered look crossed his face, which resulted with Feferi softly laughing.
"If you want to go, Eridan, I'm not going to stop you. I wish you would stay though and try to have some fun. No one banned you from hanging out your friends." That was all Feferi had to say before she turned to go back to the group she had been with.
Eridan was still tempted to leave, but he felt compelled to stay. Even if he didn't get much attention from Feferi, he could still talk to Kanaya or Karkat. He might not have been a big fan of mingling with new people, or Sollux, but he could tolerate the party for one night. It was Christmas Eve after all.