All Oz knows as he stumbles down the hallway is that Gilbert is gone. He wants to reach out desperately and find him again, but whenever he does, he grasps empty air. His body may be there, but Gilbert, his soul, his essence, has disappeared, and Oz can't get it back.
I didn't hold on enough.
The sentence beats throughout his head, pounding away all other thoughts and driving them far away until their nonexistent. Only the one thought remains, taking over. He wants to fall down next to Gilbert and never wake up. Join his soul into wherever it's gone.
Oz has always been afraid of being lost. And Gilbert was always there to hold his hand, to guide his master to wherever the next adventure awaited, whether it be a dragon or a picnic with Alice. Oz was never alone because Gilbert was beside him. Being alone meant being lost, and without Gilbert, he was alone.
But isn't Gilbert alone and lost now too? Was he anything? Was he really and truly gone, just nonexistent?
Maybe if I had just held on a little longer.
But he would've died! Oz knows this as his heartbeat pulses through his veins, making his blood run hot and cold and hot again. With fear, and loss, and anger. Nothing compares to losing Gilbert. He traded his best friend's life for his own.
Does anything mean something anymore? Or is it lost, just like him? Gilbert was his everything, his everyone. It's as if everyone else has evaporated, flown away to something that has no meaning.
Gilbert...
Alice doesn't matter. NO ONE matters except Gilbert.
Raven, the darkest of all, has finally joined the shadows.
And Oz is left behind?
He would never leave me.
But he has. The body lying in that room is proof.
Save him... voice seems to whisper as sorrow causes him to fall to his knees.
Save Gilbert...
"Alice," Oz whispers as his head hits the floor. "We have to...we have to save him."
Yes, the voice purrs.
Oz sees black.