~ Raging pain, burning fire ~ Disclaimer: I do not own TVD only the twisted plot…
First of all I want to thank Angela76 and BadBoysAreBest for putting up with me complaining about the last two TVD episodes and for doing their best at cheering me up and calm my disappointment. I wouldn't be so mad with the ways things played out if it wasn't affecting my writing…but the fact is that it is and I have two stories that are stuck in limbo because I can't bring myself to write about DElena when things so f****d up between them on the series. Anyway…that being neither here nor there, I had this 3 part story pop up in my head tonight. I was resisting writing it but then couldn't sleep and simply had to.
This story takes place after TVD S3 E15 all my children and picks up from the scene where Elena is reading Elijah's letter in her room. I hope you guys like it. It certainly helped me blow some steam off.
There's a little black spot on the sun today
(That`s my soul up there)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(it`s my soul up there)
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
(it`s my soul up there)
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop
(it`s my soul up there)
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
(it`s my soul up there)
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
"King of pain" – The Police
Elena finished reading Elijah's letter with trembling hands and a heavy heart. She looked out into the night knowing that today no one would be crawling up her window, startling her with an unexpected visit or ringing her phone to ask how she was doing. No, tonight she was utterly and completely alone...
Elena sighed sorrowfully leaning against the wall…This had been the longest day in a list of really long days in the longest two years of her short life.
It was true that the past two years had been eventful, filled with peril and distress, with loss and pain, with love and hate…The supernatural had invaded her life bringing destruction and uncertainty in its trail. Elena had fought side by side with it and against it with all the might she could summon because it was more than her life at stake, because this was bigger than her…At least until tonight…
Tonight her fire burned low and weak… A victim of a weariness that threatened to break Elena's will once and for all. Until tonight, at every life threatening corner, after every peril and heartbreak, her loved one's stood by her. Not tonight…, tonight she stood alone in a house full of memories but empty of people and love...
Stefan didn't love her anymore…he loved his revenge much more than he had ever loved her. Damon had taken his own love out of the bargaining table and reverted to his man whore ways… Elena was convinced she had lost her chances with him for good…
Honestly at this point it almost didn't matter to her anymore… Choosing between Stefan or Damon had become a triviality in the greater scheme of the nightmare her life had become. Elena was almost glad that she didn't have a choice anymore…that both Salvatore's had turned their backs on her. One last drama to worry about she huffed annoyed.
Elijah's departure had pushed the knife deeper…Elena hadn't wanted to lie to him, but she didn't know what else to do… When Elijah confronted her she knew she had lost a friend… It reminded her of when she had betrayed Damon… The memory of his pained look still cut her up deep inside. Elena shook her head to chase the thought away. She didn't want to think of Damon…ever again. She wished she could talk about it all with someone… Even Alaric would do at this point… but her substitute father had stayed at Meredith's tonight.
"Well at least someone is getting some." – Elena muttered under her breath.
Elena chided herself for being so petty… Only a couple of days ago Alaric had been dying in her arms… He had suffered his share of setbacks and woes… Alaric deserved to be loved even if she did not. After all, her and Jeremy would have been lost without him.
"Jeremy…" – Elena whispered.
The thought of her brother made her heart bleed a little more, but deep down she was happy that he was away from all this… She only wished she could get one hug to remind her of why she was fighting to stay alive… Because honestly, did it matter anymore? Did it matter to anyone? The price was too steep...At this point Elena couldn't quite remember what she started fighting for…
Elena knew she wouldn't be thinking this is she wasn't feeling so abandoned and emotionally drained.
"An afternoon with a psychotic 1000 year old pyromaniac hissy fitty vampire will do that to you." – she grumbled to no one in particular.
Elena knew that she was dancing around what truly bothered her… Bonnnie… The pain she was feeling because of her friend paled in comparison to betraying Elijah or being abandoned by the Salvatore brothers. Bonnie who had always been her friend, who knew her and should love her as much as Elena loved her… Bonnie who had lost too much because of Elena... The losses she had suffered would probably be the cause of the death of their friendship… Bonnie had grown up without a mother because of Elena… She had lost her grandmother saving Elena… Her life had been threatened, her safety compromised and now… her mother turned into a vampire because of Elena… How could she resent Bonnie for not loving her anymore? Elena simply couldn't… but it still hurt… a lot.
Then there was Matt… he didn't want any part in their lives anymore… Finally there was Caroline… Again, because of Elena her human life had been cut short… Caroline had to come to terms with being a vampire and then… her father was killed… all because of her...It was all her fault Elena told herself.
Elena placed her face on her hands and heaved a sigh. She was too exhausted to shed tears… She felt hollow filled by the knowledge that she had no friends anymore…
After a couple of minutes indulging in self pity Elena recognized the pointlessness of her sitting here and moping. She stood up with determination and walked to her wardrobe choosing a sexy black dress that she hadn't used since before her parents died. Before she forgot what it was to be alive…when she was fun and carefree.
Elena placed the dress on the bed and went to have a shower.
Half an hour later, dressed, make –up and heels in place, Elena closed the front door on the empty house and drove off.
How did you like it?.Review & let me know ok? Chapter two will be up soon but I still need to write chapter three and wont get to it till at least Sunday. xoxo