(UPDATED QUICKLY FORGIVE ME FOR ANY MISTAKES MADE)

Edward Cullen and the Real Girl presents:

The Latter Days

Prologue-

~.~

"You know...I've been wondering for a while lately, about you." Kaye peers up at Edward, eyes narrowing from the glittery gleam of his skin and just...wonders.

"If its to ask whether or not my penis works- we've had this conversation and it is none of your business." If Edward could flush he would, instead he seemed to pale even more.

"No. It's not about that- though you are totally gonna tell me later. Right?"

"What was you're question?"

"Your hat."

"My...hat?"

"Yeah. Where is it?"

Edward didn't think it would be a good idea to ask but...call him curious. Kaye didn't seem to have some sort of violent agenda and she actually leaned in to get a good look at him. "What hat?"

"You know. The tall one," She gestures to her own head mimicking a tall hat, one that Edward certainly did not have. "How can you move around without a hat?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," Kaye grins maliciously. "Isn't Frosty the Snowman only able to come to life wearing his magical hat."

"I am not Frosty the Snowman and why- goodness! Did Mike give you any of the eggnog?"

"Dude, I've been hitting the nog since like ten this morning. Anyway, you are totally Frosty."

"How so?" He asks, crossing his arms across his chest, knows he's pouting but refuses to act like an irate and irritated girl. "Explain wine-o."

"Cold, pale white, glittery in the sunlight...you are just snow. Snow!"

"You should really hand me the mug Katerina..." Edward twitches, annoyed. "Snow? Good grief."

"Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look at Frosty go."

"Kaye!"

~.~

Disclaimer: I happily do not own the copyrighted characters. I do however own the original characters and the strange and often times surreal scenarios all the characters involved will find themselves in.

That being said. Let's get this travesty on the road with a blast from the past!

"When I read it I was convinced Stephanie was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing."

-Robert Pattinson

~.~

Chapter 1

~.~

College in Washington was probably a lot better than any of the colleges she'd have gone to back in her world, in Florida. Knowing Kaye back then, she'd have ended up in Valencia community college living at home and miserable with a mother who didn't care enough and a father who didn't care at all.

She had issues she didn't think she'd have to worry about in another world. Fictional this place may be, she cared more about living here than being back there. She hadn't allowed herself to think about the hows and the why's too much. Two years in Forks going on her first year in Seattle...

She toyed with the golden coin necklace-the one she'd been wearing and which had seemed to be the catalyst on the how's and the what's.

She pulled out the round coin covered in a slight sheen of dust. It was gold and decorated with a dragon in its center. Written in odd lettering were the words 'Unum Galleon'.

"What's a galleon?"

The last person from back home she'd spoken to had been her first and only real boyfriend Byron. She'd yelled at him on the phone-well first she'd been awkward, then they'd joked like old times before she remembered exactly why she wouldn't take him back. And then she let him have it.

"I'm making a necklace."

"I could see that."

"And it takes priority."

"Over us?"

"Of course it take priority over us, there isn't even an Us." She said into the phone briskly. She waited for his reply refusing to look out the window at him.

"I guess you're right. Sorry to bother you Kaye."

Kaye would be lying if she said she didn't miss Byron. She thought about him sometimes, when she was sure she was alone and thus allowed to think in privacy. Byron had been her childhood friend-boy next door turned serious boyfriend. She thought, back when they were together when things moved on to the next level, that she and Byron would run away together after graduating highschool.

Byron Jinks with his broad shoulders, black flyaway hair and green eyes had been her salvation for so long that she didn't see getting out of her bad home situation without him. And then she'd caught him with her best friend Molly during a horrible morning after a party and everything just spiraled out of control from there.

It didn't matter that they'd been drunk or that they were both equally as sorry or more sorry than the other, it wouldn't happen again I swear...

It happened and nothing could change it. It happened and how was Kaye supposed to deal with the aftermath? It happened and Kaye would be damned if she'd take them both back and pretend it didn't happen when she knew that the possibility of it happening again was high.

So she'd dumped them both and tried to be happy on her own and tried to move on. Months went by and she thought it might happen, that she might be able to forgive Molly and Byron because she loved Byron so much and Molly had always been there for her.

And then they'd begun dating and being incredibly touchy feely in front of her and the rest of the school. And everyone knew what had happened between the three of them, knew that Kaye had been cheated on and hurt.

It didn't seem real or fair. It was worse when Molly cornered her in the girls bathroom one day after Economics, trying to explain that they never planned for this to happen, that they liked each other and they didn't want to hurt her. They were giving it a shot to see if it went anywhere and Molly knew he'd leave her in a minute if Kaye even wanted him back and Molly would allow it.

She'd never punched another person in the face quite as hard as she had that day. The suspension and the yelling from her parents had been more than worth it. The sore fist scuffled knuckles and bruising was so worth it. It reminded Kaye that she was strong and didn't need to be coddled and fuck what anyone else thinks. She didn't need anyone to make her happy or feel valued or better about herself. Because in the end all Kaye had was herself.

She wondered how her parents handled her disappearance. What did they do with her room? Did her mother re-hang her crumpled horrible posters on the walls, the ones Kaye had pulled down and tossed aside the night she disappeared?

She settled herself on the queen bed in her bedroom, the large deep red duvet still crumpled from her afternoon nap (surprised she was able to swing that in at least.) She leaned back, laying fully on her bed and sighed. It seemed wrong that she was so comfortable in another world so strange, and yet, it seemed like she belonged here, that there was peace.

Well, mostly peace. Sometimes she had to deal with a mostly dead self-proclaimed vampire with a weird definition of courting and true love. She had a way of getting by him (maximum violence.)

"Huh...I've been able to sit quietly in my bedroom without having to deal with the leech in love with me. I wonder if this is a good thing or not-no this is good. Perfect even..."

"I was trying this new thing." She hears a voice smooth as silk (and annoying as a voice can be) from the opened window.

She turns her attention towards Edward-I stalk you long time- Cullen as he enters the room via window and saunters towards her in what he must imagine is a sexy strut. It never is. "Oh? Something new?"

"Yes." He grins as he sits on the bed nearest to her head (she was lying across the bed), careful not to sit on her curls. "It's called privacy. Apparently, humans enjoy it."

"Really? Who knew?"

"Mike said you were complaining about my constant presence."

"...did it seriously take Mike Newton to get you in to giving me privacy? Seriously?"

Mike was a pointed haired blond angel sent straight from Heaven!

"Well, actually, I was with him at the diner-"

"The usual place?"

"Yes. Kaye, there is something that I must tell you."

"I don't want to hear it."

"But Katerina-"

"Nope!" She sits up. Where's her frying pan she wants to hit him with her frying pan!

"I've put it away." He tells her because of course the mind rapist has raped her mind. She wishes Bella were in the apartment, that way she would have someone on her side. "Kaye there is something that you need to know. Something that Mike, Bella and I realized."

"What?" She's off the bed and at the closet.

The light had been left on and she stares at the right where her clothes are hanging, an endless sea of t-shirts, jeans and red sweater. Towards the left, she is embarrassed to see Edward's clothes. Pressed and perfect, more of an array of posh living than anything she would ever have in fabrics that make no sense. Their shoes are in the rack at the end of the closet, sneakers mixed with loafers, shiny dress shoes and boots.

When had they become so domesticated?

"It isn't domesticated." He takes her by the shoulders and he's got his serious face on. She hadn't seen it in a while and wasn't used to it at all. No, there was something going on something bad.

But she still wanted to beat his pretty face with her pan.

She pulled away from him with a scowl and walked out of the room, checking her clothes; Red hoodie opened revealing a Beatles T-shirt, scuffed blue jeans and work boots. She looked normal, her hair was loose and crazy wild curls but that was fine. Her makeup was on maybe a little heavy on the eye liner but whatever.

She needed to take a walk.

~.~

"You didn't let me finish." Edward is beside her, looming like the creeper he pretends not to be. His shoulders move only slightly, mock breathing. "It's rather important. There is change-"

"I don't like change." Kaye spits out as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Change equals bad things."

"You adapted to change rather well when you ended up in this...world." Edward pointed out with a grin.

A woman a few feet away, seated on a bench with her boyfriend sighed loudly. Her boyfriend scowls and a fight starts. Typical whenever Leechy McLeecherson smiles in public.

Next time Kaye wants to storm off away from Edward she's going to the laundry room- less likely to end up pissed and annoyed by Edward's pretty and unnatural looks.

"No I didn't. Case in point- I never beat someone with an iron handled skillet until I came to this world and met you. I also didn't shriek unnaturally when I saw glitter debris on the floor before."

"I have said, time and time again that the glitter bits on the carpet were a part of Mike's prank. He wanted you to believe I'd exploded into glitter dust in the light."

"...I know that now..."

"I am still rather disappointed in you for being so excited about that. I didn't realize my untimely and sparkling death would cause you to make a noise like that."

"Yeah well, you're annoying as hell." She shrugs. "Really annoying. So, this thing you and Bell Buggy and Mike realized, what is it?"

He places his solid cold hand on the small of her back and guides her to the swings. It's late so there aren't any kids at the park but it's light out enough so that there are still other people milling about the paved trail. To have a private conversation one would have to go towards the playground. Not like it made a difference to Kaye. She liked the swings more than someone her age should.

He detours and heads for the see saw, standing off to the side. They wont be getting on-thank God because how weird would that be. But there is something wrong here, something weird. Edward's shoulders are set too stiff even for him and there is a tick in his eye.

"Bella and Mike are getting married."

Kaye's mouth fell open and the look on Edward's face tells her that he is surprised her jaw hadn't come clean off in shock.

"You're fucking with me!" Kaye shouts. "No fucking way-no! No no. I mean she and I- we have a packt. Never get married ever. Because marriage is just...and Mike? Mike?"

Edward shrugs.

"It was bound to happen. They're old enough-"

"They're not old enough. Lets see. I met Bella when she was seventeen, I've been here two almost three years and her birthday's in September...so she's just shy of twenty. Twenty. Too young to get married."

"I think it's an appropriate age. Twenty. They've been dating nearly three years, engaged for six months and living together-sleeping together since we've moved into the apartment"

"Which explains the nights I actually get to be alone."

"It isn't something I want to hear." Edward says defensively. He sits at one end of the see saw and Kaye has a surreal moment of wonder when he motions for her to sit on the other end.

"They're in college I mean, okay so maybe they're weirdly perfect together somehow and sure they've been bumping uglies ever since they had quarters to share but still-"

"But still you see what I am saying. It doesn't matter if they're twenty and nineteen or that they're still in college or that they're inexperienced adults. They know each other and seem to think that it is enough."

It lifts softly and he puts his full weight down after she's seated and it lowers just as gently as he pushes up.

"I hate it when you're right." Kaye glares, eye narrowing into dark slits as Edward laughs. "I really hate it."

"Yes I know and for some inexplicable reason your annoyance makes me laugh."

"..." He falls off of his end of the see saw and Kaye thinks it's worth a sore ass as the plank she sits on slams into the ground. Her boot had knocked the idiot clear off of his seat, making direct contact with his perfect and insufferable face.

"WAS THAT ACTUALLY NECESSARY?!"

"OF COURSE IT WAS YOU IDIOT!" Stumbling off of the plank and the ground, Kaye rubs her sore bottom and stares down at Edward. "Your face didn't crack."

"It was a boot." He stands up, rubbing his face. "Of course it wasn't heavy enough or hard enough to put cracks in my skin."

"Dude..." She steps up and pokes the...strange grey bruise blossoming at his cheek. That shouldn't be there at all. "You...this is so weird its like you have a bruise or something."

"It's been rather unusual lately." He admits, leaning his cheek against her warm palm, milking the attention for all its worth. Kaye never touches him without the intent of hurting him. Ever. "Do you remember last week, with Alfred and his puck in the hallway-"

"Mattie was so pissed at his brother. Who plays hockey in a narrow hallway or how does someone play hockey in a narrow hallway?"

"It was not hockey. It was Alfred playing hokey pucks down the hall. One, if you remember, happened to hit me square in the forehead."

"Yeah." Kaye pulls her hand back and laughs. "You got so dizzy you puked."

"Yes." Edward narrows her with a glare. "I vomited. I became dizzy. I was entirely too-"

"Human. Yeah." Kaye nods. "How is it your becoming more people like?"

"I have no idea but whoever is doing this to me is cruel and horrible"

~.~

In a place (mentioned in the first story Edward Cullen and the Real Girl) where writers exist there sits Stephanie Meyer. She looks at the screen of her laptop and cackles at the changes to Edward's character description.

"You realize he wont be happy with this." Another writer-a better writer- says from behind her. "This wont make your story better. You still can't write worth a damn."

"Well see Stephen. We'll see."

~.~

They'd been back in their room for all of twenty minutes when it happens.

"Since when have you been able to do that?" Kaye's eyes widen in terror.

"Well." Edward stammers, concerned about the heavy feeling of his eyes lids, how his actual eyes continued to water...

"I'm not sure. Is this...is this yawning? Is it actual exhaustion?" He asked. "I feel as though my eyes could fall shut and I would probably lose the strength to open them forever." He sighed deeply and shook his head feeling dizzy. "What is wrong with me?"

Kaye pushed off the bathroom's door frame and meandered to the opened window across her bedroom with a chuckle. She shut the thick curtains for the first time since she had been in the apartment, since it seemed to her that Edward wouldn't be sneaking off through her window at night anymore. "I think you need sleep."

"But I don't sleep!"

"You don't eat either, right?" She smiled. "As an experiment so just try it." She lifted her hand to the towel on her head and pulled it off. A shower of teal curls fell against her shoulders. "You like, Stalker?"

"I...find it improper for a woman to wear such color in her hair but I feel that if I continue that I shall be promptly beaten again. So I shall merely agree to disagree." He said. "I agree that the color is nice, I disagree about the drastic loud change in hair color."

The fist to Edward's face was new-Kaye had never hit him with a part of her body (kicks didn't count). The fact that it dimly tickled annoyed him.

"OW-SHIT!" Kaye waved her hand around wildly. "Damn it I think it's broken!"

"Let me see that."

"Ow!"

"...it bruised not broken. Why isn't it broken?"

"How the shit am I supposed to know you damn freak! I figured as soon as you started becoming more people like I would be allowed the pleasure of hurting you with my bare hands!"

"Well, that was foolish on your part."

An hour later found Kaye with her hand bandaged. She stalked out of her bedroom with a mangled frying pan and a baseball bat in her hand. Bella, who was situated on a stool by the counter near the small kitchen area flipping though a magazine, looked up and watched as Kaye dropped the mangled twisted metal on the couch before stalking into the kitchen. Kaye opened the refrigerator with gusto and slurped milk from the carton (vanilla flavored soy milk).

"So," Bella bravely asked a seething Kaye. "-is Edward currently lying in a pathetic ball on the floor in pain?"

"He's asleep. Unconscious, possibly dying (I wish)...you know, the usual."

"Asleep?"

Kaye smiled brightly as she recalled the feelings of Edward's porcelain skin cracking beneath the metal, the shriek in literal terror that came forth from his stupid mouth at the impact, how his eyes widened in horror as the bat came down onto his idiotic face...

"Oh yeah, he's sleeping alright."

A year in a half ago Bella would have been terrified, a year in a half ago Bella would have also fallen in love with someone like Edward Cullen...but Bella now could only laugh, nod and go back to her magazine.

"So he's more human like?"

"A weird hybrid I think. The author of this story is twisted." Kaye said.

"Very. Seems like things are going to get pretty interesting. And I am not even talking about wedding preparations."

~.~

Me: Ah...chapter one of the new story. Wonderful. I hope you like it. Updates may take a little longer than I would have liked, I have to get back into the groove of writing Kaye all over again and of course this is a slightly romantic story. Which is just the weirdest thing ever...although really, if I think about it Kaye and Edward's relationship seems just like the first story. No change there. Yet. Review please, I really want to know if this is read and liked by more than just two people. Otherwise why continue it, am I right?

Review no spoilers please.