DA-DA-DA! HELLO! IT IS US! YOU DON'T KNOW US, BUT WE CONTROL YOUR LIFE NOW!

This shiz is run by two people. Him and me.

DOUBLE TROUBLE!
Prepare yourself for random bullshit from us.
SO THAT YOU CAN DIFFERENTIATE, I AM BOLD!
I am italics. Don't confuse us with each other. We are trying to be as clear as possible with this.

TO START THE STORY OFF, WE SHOULD START FROM THE BEGINNING! WITH A GIRL NAMED...
SARAH!

Also, we don't own Red Vs. Blue. ROOSTERTEETH does.

3rd person POV

Sarah was a normal 14 year old. She had dyed her hair green a while ago, and she currently had it parted in the middle. Her eyes were a light aqua blue colour. She was short compared to all of her friends due to her height at 4' 11".

It was currently winter, or at least it felt like it. It was supposed to be spring, but it was usually below freezing with at least half an inch of snow.

Inside of Sarah's frost-covered house was her bedroom. And there she was, asleep. For the moment. Little did she know that she was going to have the best - and the worst - day of her life.

Sarah was sitting in her room on her laptop when she heard something downstairs. It sounded like voices and the shuffling of feet.

She got up off her bed and grabbed the hardest object she could find. Which happened to be her music stand. She then slowly went downstairs, careful not to make any noise.

When she reached the last step, still out of view because of the wall, she stopped and prepared herself for whatever is in her living room.
"Who the hell is in my house?!" She yelled as she revealed herself to the intruders.

She was not expecting what she found. She saw, before her very eyes, the Freelancers from Red Vs. Blue.

"What the hell?!" She yelled at the sight before her. Why were the freelancers in her living room? More importantly, how did they get there?

Agent Texas immediately had her gun out and pointed at her.

"Where are we? What are you doing here? Why are we here?" Agent Texas started grilling Sarah for information.
"This is my house! I don't know how you got here or why you're here!" said Sarah, more than a little afraid of the black armored freelancer.

"OK then. Explain your friend over there!" She gestured towards someone sitting at a couch. It was her friend Happy.
Happy had ebony black hair that was parted to one side. His eyes were a sort of metallic bronze colour, and he was considerably taller than Sarah at 5' 7".

"Happy, why are you in my house?! How did you even get here?!"

"It's 3:00 PM. We were going to have a meeting today to watch season 12. Anyway, I came up to your front door and rang the doorbell and suddenly these cosplayers opened the door and kidnapped me!" He explained, talking 85 miles per minute.

"Happy, we talked about this, speak slower! And I don't think they're cosplayers. Those guns look pretty real."

"Then why are they dressed like the freelancers?"

"I think they are the freelancers! I don't think cosplayers can recreate voices that accurately!"

"Then how come Agent Maine is speaking English?" Agent Maine then promptly spoke in his normal gibberish non-language way of speaking. "See?"
"Dude, no. He clearly did not just speak English."

"Yes he did. He wasn't very nice, but he spoke English."
"He was growling. I heard it. Your ears are messed up." Agent Maine then 'spoke' again.

"That's a rude word, Maine! Don't call Sarah's mother a Shisno!"

Sigma then appeared on Maine's shoulder.

"He did not say that. You're just making it up as you go along." Sigma told Happy.
"As much as I don't want to, I agree with Sigma." said Sarah.

"Thank you. I'll kill you last. I MEAN - I'll get you a cookie."
"Okay, putting that aside, is no one going to interrogate us on how we know your names? That's what I would do if some random teenager knew who I was."

"Happy explained it to us." Washington explained.
"Well I missed fucking everything didn't I?"

"Yes you did."
"Well that's just great. What are we gonna do about this?!"

"It could be worse. Maine here 'accidentally' broke the toaster."
"He did what?! My parents are gonna kill me!"

"Oh them? Yeah, we kind of locked them in their room."
"What?! Let them out right now!"

"But they threatened to call the police because we were breaking and entering, also, it was Sigma's idea."
"Of course it was! Why wouldn't it be that little flaming bastard's idea?!"

"Well, Happy pitched in on the idea-making process."
"Really Happy, really?! Locking my parents in their room?!"

"Maine did it! He used the broken toaster to weld the door to the doorframe!" Happy yelled in a half-assed self-defense.
"Happy, don't try to defend yourself. You're just gonna make the hole you're in deeper."

"Also, Maine shot your brother in the leg."
"Fucking really?! If he was gonna get shot in his life I wanted to be the one to do it!"

"Well actually, considering the fact that Maine's gun shoots grenades, it actually like ripped his leg off. He's uh… Bleeding out in his room."

"What the hell?! Why would you blow his freaking leg off?! Nevermind, that doesn't even matter, just get out of my house!"

South points her gun at Sarah. "No." Was her simple response.

"Fine! Can someone at least help him?! I can't exactly call 911! What am I gonna say? 'Yeah hello, my brother's leg was shot off by a gun grenade thing held by a fictional character that suddenly became real.' Like they're gonna buy that!"

"I think that Delta has medical subroutines." York interjected into the conversation. The green AI appeared on his shoulder.

"That is correct." Delta confirmed for the group.

"Well hurry up and routine them! I hate my brother but I don't want him to die!" shouted Sarah.

York then ran to Sarah's brother and started the subroutine.

"You wouldn't happen to have a battery pack with exactly 729 electrons?" York inquired.

"I didn't even understand half of that sentence."

"Do you at least have a Rez-Corp brand Plasma Grenade?
"I don't even think those exist yet. Happy, I thought you explained everything to them! And I thought the year was included in everything!"

"I did! I just didn't explain all of the technology that we don't have yet." Happy responded from the Living room.

"God dammit Happy." said Sarah, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Hey, I was getting there! Right after I showed them Peanut Butter! I was on the Peanut Butter!"
"Happy, I'm pretty sure Peanut Butter still exists in the future."

"You never know!"
"Whatever, just get my brother fixed!"

"My subroutines mention items that don't exist in your timeline. He will need to go to to a Medical professional from your timeline." Delta explained.
"What the hell am I gonna tell them?! Can you explain that greeny?!" yelled Sarah, getting a 'little bit' pissed off by this point.

"We could all go there!" Happy suggested from the living room.

"Happy you aren't helping a god damn thing!"

"We could say that they're all cosplayers and say that he lost his leg in some freak accident!"

"Fine! I just hope there are some really gullible doctors in today."

"YAY!"

And so, with all of the freelancers, Sarah and Happy left to the E.R. to help Sarah's brother with his blown-off leg. And in the house, they didn't realize that they forgot to free Sarah's parents, who had already called the cops right before the others left.

It is over.
This first chapter is finally done. It was a bitch to write.

For one of us.
Mostly because someone was bitching at me to get on google drive to write this all the time. But who cares about that.

Not me!

Putting that aside, this is my first attempt at a fanfiction so please have mercy. I tried.

This is not my first time writing a fanfiction. Please still show mercy. But with that, I think that we're done!