The Rainbow Dash connection
It was a clear summers day and the sky was criss crossed with the rainbow trails of a certain Ponyville weather pegasus. There wasn't going to be a cloud for the next week she would be sure of that. She was closing in on the last strands when a blur of orange shot past her heading towards the ground. Rainbow Dash flipped and dived after it. She caught the object in her fore hooves and saw that it had a face.
"Hey thanks," it said in a male voice.
"No problem," Dash replied. "Just one thing, what the heck are you?"
"My names Walter," he said. "And I'm a Muppet."
Else where more Muppets were appearing. At Fluttershy's cottage a particularly disturbing scene was playing out.
"Elizabeak?"
Her chicken appeared to be being wined and dined by some kind of blue...blue...thing.
"Now you're a good looking lady," Gonzo said to the embarrassed looking Elizabeak. "But I must admitted these days I'm a one chicken...huh... whatever still I guess."
"You!" Fluttershy said in a cold rage. Gonzo's eyes went wide as he yellow pegasus subjected him to the Stare. "You're coming with me."
Over at Sweet Apple acres the sounds of a banjo being strummed danced through the apple trees. It had Applejack worried as there shouldn't have been anyone at the barn. Granny Smith was in town, Applebloom was out with the other crusaders and Big Macintosh was in Canterlot attending a conference on new cross pollination techniques. As she got closer the sounds began to include singing.
"One day we'll find it," came the heart felt words. "The lovers, the dreamers and me."
Applejack decided the voice wasn't threatening, if any thing it sounded lost. Maybe some pony had wondered off the trails in the nearby whitetail woods again. If that was the case Applejack would help them get to Ponyville. She turned the corner of the barn and was shocked by the sight.
"Whoa nelly!" she exclaimed. "I ain't never seen a banjo playing frog before."
"Well you've seen one horse in a cowboy hat you've seen them all," Replied Kermit the frog.
"I'm a pony not a dang horse."
"Yeesh sorry," Kermit said. "I seem to be a little lost and I got separated from my friends, can you point me to the nearest town?"
"I can do better that that," Applejack said. "Talking, banjo playing frogs, this seems right up Twilight's alley."
"I've also been know to dance," Kermit chuckled as he and Applejack set out towards Ponyville.
Meanwhile at the Carousel Boutique Rarity was attending to a most unusual customer.
"Oh the hat is most definitely you darling," she told her customer. "And purple suits you so well."
"You know it sister," replied the Pig currently getting fitted.
"It's just darling...well I'm having a little trouble with the shoes," Rarity explained. "I understand the desire for a raised heel, but the thing is I just don't have the materials to support... your fuller figure."
"What was that about my weight Marshmallow?"
"Marshmallow? Marshmallow!" Rarity wailed. "Oh it is on!"
"Bring it sister!" Miss Piggy yelled as she prepared to unleash a karate chop. Thankfully the epic fight was taking them closer to the Ponyville library.
Meanwhile Walter had said he had an idea about what to do. The idea promptly saw Rainbow Dash landing with him at sugar cube corner. Rainbow considered that while the chocolate chip cookies hadn't helped the Muppet's predicament they were still tasty. It was Mrs Cake who provided them with a clue to helping Walter.
"Oh you look kind of like Pinkie's new friend," Mrs Cake said. "Are you from the far off land of Sweden to?"
"Swedish Chef is here?" Walter asked. "Where?"
"In the kitchen I believe he and Pinkie are swapping recipes."
Walter was off like a shot.
"Hey wait," Rainbow Dash called after him.
"Der Blunderblussen," Swedish chef said as he took aim with the antique rifle. "Kerbloom."
Ten perfectly holed donuts fell into Pinkie Pie's mouth.
"That's great swedie," Pinkie said. "But surely you must admit my party cannon is more versatile, seen as it can do bagels as well, with the customer's choice of spread."
"Wutabut the flapjackens?" Swedish chef asked.
"No you have to use a spatula for those," Pinkie said. "In fact these ones are ready to flip, I would really like to see your technique."
"Okedokey bork bork bork," chef said as he flipped the tasty treats in the air only to have them stick to the ceiling.
"Bork, Bork, Bork," Pinkie said as she flipped her own flapjack right into Walter's face.
"Swedish Chef!" Walter yelled in delight despite the flapjack sliding down his face and the one stuck to the ceiling falling down to land atop his head.
"Oh goody another new friend," Pinkie beamed. "But the welcome party will have to wait, we need to see Twilight. Swedie here told me all about the explosion and the weird music during the swirling tunnel sequence."
"Your right," Rainbow Dash said. "Anything that swirls and isn't weather related is definitely Twilight's department."
Applejack and Kermit the Frog arrived at the library's front door just as Pinkie and Rainbow Dash did.
"Oh Kermit I'm so glad to see you," said Walter as he hugged his froggy friend. While it clearly made Kermit a little uncomfortable the frog nether the less placed a comforting flipper on the newest muppet.
"I'm glad you're okay," Kermit said. "You to Chef, but you haven't seen any of the others?"
"No Chef was the only other muppet I've ran into so far," Walter said. "Other than you Kermit sir."
Applejack was about to knock on the door when Spike opened it.
"There's more of them?" Spike said as he noticed who or rather what was with his other pony friends. Although the sound of Fluttershy's I'm very disappointed in you voice coming from further down the street shocked him more.
"Keep moving Mister," she bid the strange blue creature she was keeping a close eye on. "Perhaps Twilight will have an answer to what you are exactly."
"Gonzo," Kermit said in a defeated tone. "What did you do?"
"Nothing," Gonzo claimed. "I was merely getting to know a local when..."
Fluttershy's glare was so fierce that the creatures of the Everfree forest decided it would be best to find some where to hide for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week.
It was Spike who reacted to the ball of dust and violence heading their way from carousel boutique first. He rushed towards it and dived in.
"Unhand the fair lady Rarity you swine," he said as he grabbed Miss Piggy's arm.
"Lady? She bit me," Miss Piggy claimed.
"Piggy," Kermit sighed.
Suddenly Rarity was swinging at nothing and Spike was tossed aside.
"Oh Kermy," she giggled as she planted kiss after kiss on Kermit's face.
"I think we better go in and see Twilight," Applejack suggested.
"She's in the basement," Spike said as he lead the strange procession inside.
"Oh if she's busy I don't want to impose," Fluttershy stuttered.
"Nah its fine," Spike insisted. "In fact Twilight is already working on fixing the problem."
As they went down the stairs they saw that Twilight was being aided by two muppets in lab coats. That is to say she was preparing an experiment while the short muppet with glasses was strapping a taller thinner muppet into the colander Twilight had modified to take accurate neural scans during her ill fated research into Pinkie Sense.
"Meee, mee, moop?"
"Don't worry Beaker," Professor Bunsen von Honeydew replied. "Miss Sparkle as assured me the apparatus is perfectly safe."
It was then that the machine started sparking and Beaker received several shocks of magical energy and his ears, or where his ears would be, began to smoke.
"Should I shut it down?" Twilight asked.
"Not at all Miss Sparkle," the professor insisted. "Beaker is always interested in the pursuit of science, or in this case its indistinguishable cousin magic. "
Twilight shut the machine down anyway,
"It's okay I think I've gathered enough data," the mare of magic said. "I'm getting more and more readings pointing to some kind of Rainbow energy."
Twilight went on at length about the various wave patterns and energy signatures before she noticed she had more visitors.
"There are more?" she said before she recovered herself. "Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville librarian and personal student of Princess Celestia, welcome to Equestria!"
"Thank you Twilight," Kermit said before he turned his attention to von Honeydew. "What did you do?"
"It seems Beaker miscalculated the pressure rainbows can be stored under," the professor explained. "So when working on our new invention, the rainbow in a can, we had a catastrophic explosion that may or may not have engulfed the entire muppet theatre."
"Rainbow in a can," Pinkie Pie squealed. "Well you better let her out!"
"I don't get it," Rainbow Dash said to which Walter, Kermit and Applejack just shook their heads.
"We we're hoping to harness the awesome power of Rainbows to brighten up those frightfully dull places that exist in the world," the professor explained. "Such as the DMV or Beaker's great aunt Mildred's summer home."
"Meeep."
"Instead during the initial test run we seemed to have created an inter dimensional gateway into this magical land of Equestria."
"Can you fix it?" Kermit asked. "We have a show to do tonight."
"Maybe," the Professor replied.
"Definitely sir," Twilight told him. "But first you have to round up the, what do you call yourselves, muppets?"
"There are more of us here," Walter asked.
"Possibly," Twilight said. "The energy discharge was quite large. However it's a simple manner of setting Rarity's locator spell to search for muppet biology instead of gems."
Her horn glowed purple as she activated it. All the muppets in the basement pulsed with the same purple in response. And so did Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie?"
"Oh sorry Twilight I forgot I was carrying this around with me," Pinkie said as she pulled out a giant check mark made of green felt. From where she pulled it from was an even greater mystery than why she had it in the first place.
"Well anyway," Twilight said. "I can maintain the spell from here while I work on the rest of the calculations. A purple light should mark each muppet so I suggest Dash and Fluttershy should take to the air and call out the positions to the ground search team consisting of Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity."
"If it's not to much trouble I'd like to help to?" Walter asked.
"I'll come to," Kermit sighed. "Someone will have to apologise for whatever they're up to."
Piggy was being reasonable for once and agreed to stay with Twilight and the others.
"Anything for you Kermy."
"So they are wings," Lyra said to the blue bald eagle she had baled up. "But you can use them pretty much as, squee, hands."
"And I thought I worked with weirdos," Sam the Eagle sighed.
"Hey Sam come with us," Walter said as he suddenly appeared with Pinkie Pie and dragged him away.
"Thank goodness," Sam said as he was dragged away. "Have I ever told you Walter what an honor it was the met a hard working American from the mid-west such as yourself. You are truly a sight for sore eyes in this strange land, with its down right sinful tolerance of certain relationships and its values being not freedom and liberty but the strange ideas of love and tolerance. Do you know this place is a Consitutional monarchy."
Sam shuddered as he remembered being told by the pony with a blue and pink mane that had been with the strange green one that the land was ruled by two possibly immortal princesses who were also the local deities.
"Lyra asked you about the hands didn't she?" Pinkie asked.
"It was disturbing," Sam said.
"It's a pity she didn't get to meet Swedie," Pinkie sighed. " I could have thrown that super duper Lyra final meet an almost human with hands celebration jubilee!"
Applejack was the next to find a muppet. Well actually she found several in the Ponyville park involved in a jam session with Vinyl Scratch and her close friend Octavia. They had just finished a resounding rock rendition of the Equestrian National anthem when Applejack had walked into the park and had fallen into conversation with each other.
"Hey!" Applejack yelled failing to get anyone's attention.
"Come on!" she yelled again but again no one stopped talking.
"Right then!" she said as she adjusted her hat and approached the drum set, unnoticed. With an all mighty buck she kicked the set and caused a cacophony of crashes and beats. Startled by the commotion the conversation slowed to a halt. Well almost...
"So I said," Janice continued. "listen Grandma if I want to bareback ride in the bare well that's my business."
"Listen up y'all," Applejack said ignoring it. "Any muppet that wants to go home can come with me to the Library."
"Books! Knowledge! Scary!" Animal said as he tried to run away.
"Quick someone get him before he runs into that freaky Everfree forest," Dr. Teeth said.
"That place has some really bad vibes," Floyd agreed.
Applejack had quickly swung into action and had Animal roped in her lasso.
"Cowpony Strong," he muttered as he was dragged through the Ponyville streets back to library.
Rainbow Dash had sent Rarity back to Carousel Boutique as their was another Muppet presence there. She could only hope whatever or who ever the Muppet was they weren't helping Sweetie Belle destroy the store, again. She was quite surprised to see her younger sister in the Kitchen playing cards with the rest of the crusaders, a prawn and a rat.
"I call okay," Pepe said.
"Well I raise," Sweetie Belle said.
"I fold," Rizzo told his playing companions.
"I fold as well," Applebloom said.
"What would Rainbow Dash do?" Scootaloo asked before coming to a decision. "All in!"
The cards where laid out on the table. Scootaloo only had a pair of fours, Sweetie Belle had four tens and Pepe had a 7, 4, 2, and well lets just say he didn't have anything.
"I win again okay," he told the fillies.
"Why? How?" asked Sweetie Belle indignantly.
"I have a Seafood sampler okay," Pepe said. "Which clearly beats four of a kind."
Rarity stormed in to break it up and stop Sweetie from being swindled out of her bits.
"Doesn't matter," Applebloom said quietly. "They would have just tried to give us some of the phony paper money anyway."
"Yeah," Scootaloo said. "And they're only getting chocolate bits instead of real ones."
Rarity calmed down a bit seen as her sister and her friends weren't being fleeced as the sheep she knew said. She cleared her throat to announce her presence.
"Hello everyone," she said being polite to the non ponies. "I'm afraid you have to say good bye to your new friends Sweetie Belle we need to get them home."
"Awww," all three crusaders whined.
"Not without our hard won chocolate!" Rizzo yelled.
"You ponies can keep our monopoly money okay!"
There was a single muppet life form that had yet to get to the Library. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went to check it out as the reading from Twilight's spell was coming from half way towards sweet apple acres. The found a large muppet, almost as large as a bear, easily lifting a wagon that Big Macintosh was replacing the wheel on.
"All done pal?" The muppet asked.
"Eeyup," Big Mac replied.
"Umm... Sir?" Fluttershy said as the two Pegusi landed. "We can...ah take you to your friends."
"Really?" the large muppet said. "I thought those guys had left me behind again."
"If you would please, that is if you don't mind, follow us sir."
"My names Sweetums," he growled happily. "You can call me that if you like."
"Oh may what a wonderful name," Fluttershy said as she overcame her usually meekness and hovered around her new friend.
"You really think so?"
"Right listen up," Twilight said to the assembled ponies and muppets. "I believe the 'rainbow in a can' properties are similar to the energies that are present when Rainbow Dash performs a sonic rainboom."
"So if we could harness the power," Professor Honyedew continued. "We believe we can create a portal back to our world and the Muppet theatre."
"Sounds good," Rainbow Dash said.
"The thing is Dash is you'll have to be pulling the muppets behind you while performing the sonic Rainboom," Twilight explained. "And due to the risks you'll have to do it all in one trip, or at least rest for at least one whole day in-between the attempts."
Rainbow ran the calculations in her head.
"I'll need the balloon, a breathing mask and thirty energy bars," the pegasus said. "Then I can do it all at once."
"You can't just break the rules of reality," Twilight said. "Sweetums alone will require his own trip."
"You know magic Twilight," Rainbow told her friend. "I know flight, I can do this. I would have been able to get degree in flight theory if I didn't drop out."
"Rainbow?" Fluttershy asked finding it odd that Rainbow would freely share anything about flight school that wasn't misadventures with Gilda.
"I can do this," Rainbow said.
"Of course she can," Walter said. "I mean she plucked me right out of the air and we were like swoosh and it was cool."
"Well lets give it a shot," Kermit said.
"What if it doesn't work?" Applejack asked.
"Don't worry," Kermit said. "If we have to...well I'm sure we've all survived rougher landings."
"Why are you looking at me Kermit?" Gonzo asked.
Later all the muppets were squeezed into the balloon's basket. Miss Piggy was especially enjoying being squished in next to Kermit. Slow the craft rose to the required altitude, Rainbow Dash was taking it slow for now as well, just letting the balloon do the work as she had one of her forelegs wrapped around one of its ropes. Twilight and her other friends were at the point the Rainboom should occur. Right next to the lake in case something went wrong. Of course at the speeds Dash was going to be flying at even a water landing would leave her with a longer hospital stay. Pinkie Pie was serving up snacks to the assembled media ponies who had gotten wind of the events and wanted to capture the Rainboom on camera. Finally Dash's innate magical abilities told her the Balloon was at the correct height. She flew a bit away from the basket to address the muppets.
"Okay everyone hold each others..." Rainbow began. "What did you call them?"
"Hands," Walter replied.
"Right hands," she said. "Who ever has the longest arm I can actually get my mouth around hold it out of the basket."
After some measuring Animal stuck out his arm.
"Right," Dash said. "I will ascend a further few thousand feet, once I can't get any higher I shall begin to accelerate assisted by gravity. As I near top speed I shall be grabbing onto Animals arm. So hold on tight. You'll be pulled along until the Rainboom occurs at which point you should reappear in our world. Twilight assured me that your velocity will be bleed off in the space between worlds so you should only have a minor tumble when you get home."
All the muppets nodded their understanding of the plan.
"Right," Dash said as she slipped on the breathing mask that was hanging around her neck. She speed into the sky, so far up that she could almost reach out and touch the moon. She shook her head that was an adventure for another day. She turned enjoying the momentary weightlessness. Having orientated herself correctly she pumped her powerful wings getting the rhythm and motion right for a steady acceleration. Soon she felt the air resisting her, trying to hold her back, but she stretched her hoofs outwards. The air in front of her was on longer merely stretching but tearing.
Against her instincts to keep the bugs out her mouth she opened her maw and then clamped down on Animal's out stretched arm. As she continued to the ground of Equestria a chain of Muppets came along behind her. First Animal and the rest of the Electric Mayhem, then Kermit, Piggy and Walter. Beaker and The Professor. Swedish chef was next and clasped tightly to him was Gonzo whose legs had been stretched out by Sweetums. To whom Rizzo and Pepe clung to for their lives.
That was it. Rainbow curved sharply before she hit the ground and just before the lake she tore the air asunder. A ring of Rainbow energy expanding outwards, one lucky photographer got a shot of the phenomenon as it passed a mere length from her face. Rainbow Dash's own trail through the sky became more permanent and as the muppets hit the spot where the Rainboom had occurred they faded from Equestria as they went home.
"Bye Bye," Animal called his voice called with an echo as he disappeared the rest of the muppet chain followed.
"Groovy," Janice exclaimed as she hit the Rainboom.
"You said it sister," Floyd said a he to disappeared.
"Thanks for everything," both Walter and Kermit said.
"Thirty seconds to curtain Ms Strong," Scooter said as he poked his head into the guest Stars Dressing room.
"Thanks Scooter," the guest star replied. "I'll just finish writing this tweet. And that's why Rainbows are important your faithful voice artist Tara Strong."
Suddenly her computer was bathed in light from all colours of the rainbow and the Muppets that had previously been in Equestria came tumbling out. Thankfully Tara had dived out of the way before Sweetums came through. Kermit was the first to recover.
"Oh you must be our guest star," Kermit said. "I must say its nice to put a face to a voice, several voices in fact."
"You know I considered becoming a voice over person," Walter said. "But I was afraid I'd get typecast."
"You can't really get Typecast when you can do any voice."
"That's just it I can only do two," he claimed. "It's like this see I can either do my normal voice see or what all villains sound like in my head see and I don't think any one has actually sounded like that since the forties doll."
"You're right stick to whistling," Tara said.
That night back in Equestria Rainbow Dash hadn't had the energy to return to her cloud home, nor even the energy to eat the energy bars she had requested before she performed her amazing feet. Twilight smiled as she pulled a blanket over Dash's sleeping form. She noticed that Dash had failed to get through even one page of her Daring Do novel before falling asleep on the couch.
"Time for some more study and experimentation," she said to herself.
She went down stairs to the lab to find Spike cleaning up.
"Thank you for our help today Spike," she said.
"Aw you're welcome Twilight," he replied.
"Once our done help me take some notes," Twilight said. "I've had an idea to expand the locator spell to assist when ponies go missing. I think I can extend it as far as Canterlot."
"Okay I'm done anyway," Spike said.
"Now it I feed it through the capacitor and then bounce the magic feed back off of... oh no!" she said.
"What's wrong?"
"I still have it set to muppet and I'm getting three traces from Canterlot," she said worriedly.
"Twi, Dash can't do anything about it for maybe another two days," Spike said. "I'm sure they'll be fine until then."
In Canterlot the Great and Powerful Trixie was finishing her act.
"The Ursa was vanquished and the Traveller swore never to lie about something so important again. She still boasts of course but only about things she's good at. Like fireworks!"
A colourful explosion appeared above the crowd in all the colours of the rainbow it pulsed up and down the spectrum.
"Great and powerful, so that's how you describe the odour," Staler said.
"Yeah this show stinks," Waldorf agreed.
Trixie left the stage trying to hold back her tears.
"Don't worry," Fozzie said to his new friend. "The show was great that particular segment of the audience is just hard to please. Guess I'm up."
"Break a leg," Trixie said as he went on stage.
"Waka Waka how is everyone tonight," Fozzie began. "Better than I'll be if I don't pony up the rent to my landlord, get it because she's a pony. Seriously though the currency is called bits, bits of what?"
"Get Trixie back on stage," Waldorf said.
"Why? she wasn't an good either," Statler asked.
"Maybe she knows how to get that mage to come get rid of the Ursa Major on stage."
"Major annoyance you mean."
"Doh hoh hoh," the both laughed.