Another drabble/oneshot for my hundred themes challenge. As usual, I don't own Final Fantasy. Warning for complete crack up ahead.

The opening quote from Kuja is his actual versus quote against Cecil.

Frowning, Cecil unsheathed his blade and pointed it at his current foe. Undaunted, Kuja simply began to levitate and summoned forth several holy spheres of light. "You don't wear the light very well!" Kuja sneered.

After fighting against manikins for several hours, one tended to be in a rotten mood; Cecil was no exception. His patience had been worn thin by the tribulations of battle, and now all he wanted was a target for his vexation, which was pretty peculiar behavior for the normally kind paladin. "Welll then, Mister Fashionista, how do you suggest I wear it?"

Kuja hadn't become accustomed to snide remarks, it was apparent to see. "Excuse me?! These clothes are perfectly fine! Only the most luxurious clothes are fit to be worn on my gorgeous body!"

Cecil simply rolled his eyes. "Sure, just make up excuses for your narcissism."

"At least I don't wear lipstick," Kuja snarled in anger.

Cecil upturned his lip and growled, "For the last time, I am a Lunarian, my lips are naturally purple! You should see my friend Kain, he wears nail polish!"

Kuja ceased his levitating and stood, placing his one hand on his hips and gesturing flamboyantly with the other. "Oh, no. You see, you just can't do that as a male. Even I find that ridiculous."

Cecil opted to not point out that Kuja had just acknowleged his own feminine appearance and instead said, "So you're offering me...fashion advice?" Upon watching Kuja nod vigorously, Cecil decided to just roll with the absurdity. "Figures, you really do feed off this stuff. Fine, I won't fight you if you tell me all you want about why I don't wear light best."

"Well, first things first," Kuja responded as he cheerily clapped his hands, clearly getting a rush out of this, "all that white really makes you look washed out. It...doesn't match your complexion!" Cecil nodded, secretly storing these facts in his brain for later, but looking very bored on the exterior. He had to protect what little masculinity he had. It wasn't his fault he looked like his mother!

"So stick to darker colors, maybe black or violet," Kuja was saying. "Try to have some gold accents, they'll make you look GORGEOUS, darling!"

Finally, Cecil couldn't tolerate Kuja's presence anymore. "Kay, thanks, girly man!" he called as he ran off, leaving Kuja to his own outrage.

Cecil smiled inside his armor as he marched toward his new, rather short sparring partner. He had taken Kuja's advice and was now wearing his sparkling dark knight armor, sans the helmet.

Shantotto looked ipunimpressed. "You don't wear the dark very well."

Cecil snapped. "MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!"