Hetalia: A Meal Together
A German, a Japanese, and an Italiano…they went out to eat, out together.
It was the anniversary date of the alliance Germany, Japan, and Italy made together and so they thought it would be a good idea to splurge at a restaurant for once. Not that they weren't good cooks, according to their own abilities, they just wanted to sit back, relax, and not worry about cleaning up afterwards.
"Yippie!" Italy leaped in the air. He was so excited that they were going out and was jogging in place while German was trying to keep him still. He was hard at work attempting to tie the red tie around the neck of an enthusiastic Italian.
It's actually rather pathetic that he can't even do his own tie, Germany thought to himself. But then again, there are many things he can't do by himself. One of them is folding his clothes und making his bed…I wish he'd be so energetic when he is in training.
They had all decided to wear nice suits today.
Japan was also in a really good mood, but he wasn't outwardly showing it. He was content with Italy's expressions and was satisfied if he displayed all of the excitement for himself and Germany. He enjoyed watching Germany chase Italy around the room in order dress the man who kept shouting 'Can we go yet? Can we go yet?'
"Nein!" Germany shouted after each attempt of Italy to run out the door.
Finally, when everyone was fully dressed and ready to leave, Germany glanced at his watch. "Italy, you've probably made us late for our reservations!" He grabbed his coat, because it was a cold evening, and tossed one over to Italy. He rushed both Italy and Japan out of the door and locked it in a hurry. He put his keys inside his coat pocket and the threesome began walking. It was twilight and the sun was almost gone. They had to meet their reservations in twenty minutes and were already eight minutes behind schedule. Germans liked to be precisely on time for things, not late or early, so having a friend like Italy (who made them late) and a friend like Japan (who was an early bird) was tough on his nerves.
At the restaurant, thanks to a bit of 'double-time' from Germany, they were shown to their seats and given menus. Japan let out a sigh, walking in such a hasty manor has made me build up an appetite.
Italy looked a little worried and was making strange sounds. "Ho…..hmmm…uh…Ger-….er…"
Germany finally asked after about a minute of Italy's noises, "Italy, what's bothering you now?"
"Hey, Germany!" Italy tried to play it cool as if he wasn't worried about anything. "Um…yeah…" he was silent for a few seconds. "What can I order?" He was used to Germany's strictness of 'not wasting money,' so he was concerned that Germany would get mad if he happened to order the most expensive item on the menu.
"Eat whatever you want," Germany said with a smile, "this is a celebration after all. Enjoy yourself…just don't embarrass me und don't flirt with the waitress."
"Yay!" Italy engulfed himself in the menu and was saying things to himself on what would be the most delicious thing to order. Then he realized what Germany's last words were. "Aw, no girls…"
Japan smiled. It was good that they were all getting along. Since it was okay to 'order whatever you want' (yes, even he was concerned about Germany lecturing him on eating healthier), he scanned the menu for something salty. He was in the mood for something pleasing to his sensitive taste buds.
The waitress took their drink order. Germany ordered beer, Italy ordered wine, and Japan ordered sake. They were really in good moods.
After the meal…
Japan wiped his mouth with the fancy cloth napkin. These Western restaurants are so nice…I think I will use cloth napkins in my restaurants back home.
Besides for Italy's random inserts and blabbering, Germany realized that they had not spoken much during their meal despite all of the things they could have said. But he felt alright with it. It wasn't awkward and they were all enjoying their casual time together.
The waitress brought the bill over to them in a small, black leather case. "Please take your time and enjoy the rest of the meal," she smiled and walked away. Italy watched her and was always blushing whenever she came – it was killing him that Germany eyed him like a hawk whenever she was there. He really wanted to talk to pretty women.
Germany slowly, but trying to be casual, opened the black case and examined the bill.
The German was thinking how they could split the bill equally.
Let's see, one-third for each of us would be… he was calculating the math in his head. Oh, and the tip also…He was the type of man who wanted everything in order and everyone to work hard to pull their own weight.
The Japanese was thinking how much paying the whole bill would cost him.
Japan quietly took his wallet out and viewed it under the table, checking how much he would have to pay in order to cover everyone's meal. He wanted to treat them as a 'thank you' for all of the help and he also wanted to act like a good host. He peered over and saw the bill in Germany's hand. That much? He started to get a little flustered. He was the type of man who wanted everyone to be content.
The Italiano was thinking about how to appropriately say 'thank you' to the sucker who ended up paying for his entire meal.
Italy was humming and pretended to be oblivious to the fact that the bill had arrived and he possibly had to pitch in. He sipped more of his wine and thought, Gee, do they know that I didn't bring money…I didn't even think to…besides, Germany pays for most of my stuff, right? And Japan would help me, too, because he's so friendly and polite…in his own strange way…yeah, I should be fine. He was the type of man who was unconsciously useless, but cheery all the feet were tapping innocently under the table, letting off some quiet 'clicks.'
Germany seemed to notice the little irritation, however, and knew what it meant. Italy was acting way too innocent and had that smile on his face that meant he was trying to get out of something. Japan also seemed to notice.
Germany thought, well, if I have to pay for Italy, I might as well pay for Japan. It would be rude, otherwise.
Germany and Japan blurred out at the same time, "I will cover the meal!" They looked at each other, blushing, and Italy clapped his hands.
Thata means I don't have to pay at all! Italy thought, all I have to do is say 'Gratzie' in the politest way possible! Italy sat up from the chair and it caused Germany and Japan to look at him in wonder.
He sang in a high-pitched squeal: PASTA!
HETALIA
Source: Jokes About Japanese People From Around the World
By Takashi Hayasaka
Published by Chuko Shinsho La Clef