I am having so much fun writing this. I hope you guys have just as much fun reading it!
I DONT OWN ALICE IN WONDERLAND OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.
Man, what in the world was Miley doing with her life? This music video was nauseating, but the song was addicting.
With the volume turned up as high as it could go, I leaned back on the full sized bed and got lost in my playlist. If my mother tried to scold me for not responding when she yelled for me, I can honestly say I didn't hear her. I chuckled. Lex, you are such a douche. But what does it matter? My life was perfect, regardless of how I treated the world.
I was the hottest girl in school, a senior, a blonde haired blue-eyed package, petite, curvy, funny and rebellious. What else is there?
Happiness.
Oh shut up, brain. I don't need your crap right now.
Though I couldn't stop myself from venturing off onto that path.
Since I was a child, I had never fit in. The other kids would laugh and play about trying not to fall in the lava and trying to be the best power ranger, but I could never see the lava. I could never transform into a power ranger. All I saw were a bunch of ridiculous kids; foolish, all of them. But I had one friend who understood, Ms. Clarisse.
When all the children were outside playing, I would be sitting on the bench alone; longing to be a part of their fun. Then here would come Ms. Clarisse with a Curious George book. She read to me. I read to her. Then I read on my own. Every day, I'd devour a new book.
Imagination; who needed it?
Slowly but surely, I lost the spark every human should possess; that one thing that you can take pride in. That one thing that made you happy.
In Middle School, I rose to the top as the school bully for putting people down who had that spark I longed for; those kids that had happiness and creativity that added color to life. Who needed them anyway? Doctor Who is fake. Game of Thrones is fake. All video games are fake. Why would I indulge in such silliness?
That's basically where it all began.
Now who was Alexandra Marianne Liddell?
Lex was the daughter of Alice Liddell, a single mother with a wild imagination. Lex was also the sister of Dasiy Heart Liddell, who was a six year old with an even wilder imagination. Lex was the outcast, even in her own home.
I would hear my mother telling Daisy about made-up adventures she took in a place beyond a rabbit hole called Wonderland. Daisy and her would laugh and share jokes about such stories, but me? Never heard these stories. She attempted to enlighten me, but I never had the same imaginative spark needed to understand. Slowly, I became the rebellious, dark teen that went through two tubes of eyeliner in a week.
The teen that made fun of the theatre nerds for willingly singing in front of the whole school. The teen that sat at the back of the class because it was the cool thing to do. The teen that refused to wear pastels. The teen that refused to wear a neckline higher than her armpits. The teen with all the friends. The teen who wanted to be happy.
Only two more months, I thought. Then it's off to college; frat parties, drinking, drugs and the like. Maybe that was when I would let it all go. Maybe that was where I would find myself.
A hand grasped my ankle causing me to sit right up, a bit startled. Daisy's big, innocent blue eyes stared up at me. Exasperated, I pulled my ear buds out of my ears.
"What is it?" I cocked an eyebrow at her.
"It's time for dinner." She told me, a bit shyly. It hurt just a bit that my own little sister was afraid of me. As if I didn't get enough of that at school.
"What'd mom make?" I asked.
"Steak and mash potatoes." She blinked.
"Tell her I'm not hungry." I waved it off.
"But," Daisy swallowed. "She's gonna tell us another Wonderland story. Don't you wanna hear it?" I rolled my eyes.
"Those stories aren't real, D." I told her patiently, yet irritated. Daisy stood up a bit straighter in defiance.
"Yes, they are. Mommy says so." She pouted.
"Well mommy also said your hamster ran away, but you know what? She dropped a chair on him." Guilt pierced my gut when the first tear trailed down the side of her face. She gave a little sob and ran out my room, leaving my door open to stare after her. With a big sigh, I flopped back onto my bed.
On average, it took mom five minutes and thirty three seconds to come upstairs and start scolding me about being a better older sister. Give me a break. I was honestly helping her in the long run. Even if I was being a total arse.
My phone buzzed.
Hey, babe. I grinned. Tony was my on-again, off-again boyfriend of two years. He had jet black hair and wore red contacts because genetics shouldn't determine who he his. I swooned. He was so deep. Where I was 5'2, he was 6'0, but we still made the cutest couple ever.
Lex: Hey, Tony. ;D
Tony: I think we should end it.
I chuckled. This again. We would be back together before the week was up, so I didn't entertain the thought by responding.
As if on cue, my door burst open. My mother wore a look of a perfect balance of anger and disappointment. Rolling my eyes, I moved to put my headphones in. She snatched it away from me.
"You can kiss your phone goodbye until you learn to be a decent human being." She scolded.
"I didn't think a decent human being filled a child's head with false hope." I spat.
"False hope? No. I'm giving her something to smile about. Something to dream about. My only regret is that I couldn't do the same for you." The pain in my mother's eyes struck me deep. The usual light in her eye was gone along with the soft smile that never fell from her face, until now. It hurt that I made her this disappointed in me.
"Well I'm not like you or Daisy. I'm more practical." My voice was steady.
"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" She demanded.
"I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted." Regret filled my gut. My mom's face softened as she placed her hand on the side of my face.
"I love you the way you are, Lex. But you need to let go." She half whispered. I hated the pity in her eyes, so I snapped my head away from her embrace. Slowly, she retracted; her eyes suddenly pained once again.
"If you won't be eating, I guess, goodnight." My mom nodded and left my room with my phone and laptop in hand. Ugh. Now what was I to do.
I picked up the copy of "Alice in Wonderland" that my mother had given me. Maybe I would suddenly understand what all the craze was about.