Author's Note: It's no secret that I love VOC LOID. This story is based off of the song "Witch Hunter", with Luka, Miku, and all the rest. It's a very sad song that's definitely worth listening to. If Japanese isn't your think, Jubyphonic has a beautiful English fandub of the song that can easily be found on YouTube.
Integra Hellsing was not a woman to be trifled with. However, her unusual servant wasn't a man to give up. Currently, the two were in a silent standoff as she refused to acknowledge the fact that he currently was peering over her shoulder, breathing rather dramatically on her neck as he surveyed her work. Finally Integra slammed the manila folder shut and pulled a cigar from the breast pocket of her suit. Lighting it, she took a relaxing drag and finally turned to face her would-be tormentor.
"Can I help you with something, Alucard?" she snapped. He smirked at her and shook his head, leaning back against the windowsill. "Then why are you here?" she asked, grinding her teeth on the cigar as she struggled to keep her composure. As much as she loved using him as an undead target, the budget sheet told her that she needed to save as much money (and therefore as many bullets) as she could.
"Tonight is an exceptionally beautiful night, Lady Hellsing," Alucard said, gesturing to the moonlit grounds outside the window. "It's nights like these that I used to fill that young, innocent head of yours with stories." Integra huffed, remembering all too well what he was referring to.
"You mean you gave me mental scars. I had nightmares for months after your "story". You're lucky I never told Walter."
"Yes, and you never asked for a fairytale from me again. We're both winners," Alucard replied scathingly. Integra bit down unthinkingly and snapped the lit cigar in half. Cursing, she stamped the embers on the tile floor and rubbed a hand over her face in frustration. Alucard eyed her thoughtfully. "Stress doesn't become you, my master." Integra gave him a weary look before leaning back in her chair.
"It's just that the Vatican is still trying to stick their noses in my affairs, and besides that; haven't you noticed that there are too many vampires at once? I've never seen such an outbreak." She looked towards the No-Life-King, wondering if he had any advice to give on the matter.
"Yes, I've noticed that as well. So many maggots; there must be garbage nearby. But still…the Vatican, you say? Priests and their lot have always had a bad time with nosing in others' affairs." He smiled almost wistfully at the moon before glancing at the woman in the chair, the grin widening into a vicious leer. "This reminds me of when I met a witch."
"Witches don't exist; you and I both know that," Integra said, not bothering to take the bait. Alucard hummed noncommittally, crossing his arms under his coat.
"No? But that can't be, because I met one. It's not a story I tell often, simply because it has a happier ending then the others. Not one of my favorites, you see." Integra opened her eyes at his offhanded comment, leaning forward to rest her hands on her knees. Alucard telling a happy story? Impossible.
"I don't believe you," Integra said in a bored tone, fully realizing that this was what the vampire wanted. She did enjoy humoring her servant once in a while; he loved to speak of blood and guts in an effort to nauseate her, but every once in a while a miniscule moral would be slipped unintentionally into his grotesque tales. "But if it'll keep you quiet, I'll listen." The vampire gave her an absolutely sickening smirk and waved his hands in the air theatrically.
"As you wish, but don't say I didn't warn you. Once, long ago…"