Disclaimer: Not mine, all TP's.

A/N: Here's my take on how Dom feels when he finds out about Kel and Cleon. So obviously, it takes place during Squire. Please R&R! And enjoy.

A Thousand Pieces

Dom bit his lip lightly. He'd started to notice certain...feelings of his…some time ago, but since then they'd been getting steadily stronger, and life was getting more and more complicated as a result. He stared at the roof of his tent in frustration. What would his men say? The great Sergeant Domitian of Masbolle, losing sleep over a girl. But he couldn't help himself. He was in love—not that he'd done anything about it.

He'd tell her tomorrow, Dom promised himself. She should know. The thought of what would happen if she didn't return his feelings scarred the hell out of him. Things would get completely awkward between them, years of friendship would be ruined, and of course his heart would be broken.

But he would still try. Yes, tomorrow was the day. Tomorrow he would tell Keladry of Mindelan that he loved her.

-

He was shaking with nerves. It was getting late, and Dom hadn't even seen Kel all day, but as his nerves grew, he wasn't too sure this was a bad thing. After all, if he didn't see her, he didn't have to keep his promise to himself and tell her.

None of that now, Dom, he told himself. If he gave himself the option of chickening out, he would. He had to do this right now, he decided. Before he could think about it anymore. Which meant he'd have to actually look for her, rather than just hoping to run into her.

"Hey Wolset, have you seen Kel?" he asked.

"I think she's in her tent."

"Her tent. Right." His hope that Wolset wouldn't know died. He walked towards the other side of camp, towards her tent, forcing his quivering knees to take step after step.

Her tent was in sight.

This was it.

He was going to do it. He was going to tell her.

There was a horse outside, Dom noticed in confusion. He was just outside the tent when he heard shuffling around inside. It sounded like two people. There was a small crack where the flap didn't cover the entire entrance to the tent, and Dom peered in.

He froze, gone cold all over. Kel was in there, yes. And so was Cleon of Kennan. And they were…Kissing. The two of them. Kissing. Slowly, he pulled away from the tent, retreating back towards his own.

"Kel? Suppertime," he heard Raoul call, as he and Buri approached Kel's tent from the other direction. "Who's horse is that?"

"We're all right!" Kel called hurriedly.

"We?"

Dom didn't hear the rest of the conversation, he all but ran back to his own tent, ignoring Wolset when he called his name. He closed the flap to his tent, collapsing onto his cot and putting his head in his hands. He refused to cry, even as his heart was shattering. It had taken all his courage to simply walk to her tent to tell her, and now he couldn't even do that. But it was better this way, wasn't it? He didn't tell her, only to be rejected. At least this way their friendship was saved. But could he even look at her anymore?

His tent flap opened and Wolset entered. "What in the name of Mithros is wrong with you, Sergeant?"

Dom sighed. "Well…" he muttered into his hands. "I was just spared a great humiliation."

"Mmhm. Yes, I can definitely see how that would upset you." When Dom didn't laugh he grew more serious. "Seriously, what's up?"

Dom took his head out of his hands. "You know Kel and Cleon are courting?" he commented casually.

"No way! Really? That's fantastic! She deserves to have someone in her life…" he trailed off. "Not fantastic?" he offered instead, at the downhearted look on Dom's face. "Terrible? Horrible? How dare he? Am I getting warmer?" Dom just put his head in his hands again. "So that's the deal," Wolset muttered. "You like her." It wasn't a question.

"I was going to tell her," Dom said miserably.

"So how'd you find out?"

"He kissed her."

"And I'm assuming she didn't push him away?" Dom didn't even answer. "Wow, mate. That's rough."

"How am I even going to face her, now?"

"She doesn't know, though, does she? About how you feel, I mean?" Dom shook his head. "Well, if you can't be happy in general when you're around her, try being happy for her then."

Dom sighed yet again. "How disastrous would that have been if I'd walked in before Cleon did? Blabbing about how I feel, while she's already in a relationship."

"Just be thankful you didn't," Wolset looked at his pitiful friend. "I'm guessing you don't want to go to dinner right now?" Dom shook his head again. "I'll bring you back something, then." He patted his shoulder and left.

Dom lay down on the cot, starring at the roof of the tent again. Wetness trickled from his eyes despite his best efforts not to. But it was hard not to cry when your heart's been shattered into a thousand pieces.

-

"Dom, are you all right?" Kel asked the next morning. "You don't look like you feel well."

Dom forced himself to meet her eyes and smile. "I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night, is all."

I'm happy for her, he told himself firmly. Happy…

Happiness is overrated, he decided.

The End