Dean experienced many of Sam's firsts: his first steps; his first day at school; the first time he rode a bike without training wheels; the first time he had gotten a filling at the dentist; the first time he got into a fight at school; the first time that he realised monsters were real… Dean had watched, and helped, Sam all through these things – trying to teach him those things which he needed to be taught. It wasn't because their dad didn't care about them, he was just busy – he had a lot of other things on his mind, and they took up his concentration… because of that, Dean was the one that felt the pride and the joy at what Sam did as he grew older, at the expense of his own childhood. The bond between them was closer than most siblings, Dean cared for Sam more than anything else in the entire world – Sam was his baby brother, his responsibility; it was Dean's job to protect him from the world he knew existed.
There were some firsts, however, that Dean hadn't reckoned on being involved in, particularly as Sammy got older. Being a teenager was hard enough, without having to look after a younger brother as well; especially one who strained so hard against the grain of everything that Dean knew about. Sam didn't want to go hunting; he wanted to stay in one place for more than two months- he wanted to go to school, to not be treated as though he was a recruit being trained for battle, he wanted to be normal... Dean knew that "normal" wasn't a possible option for them, not while the thing that had killed their mom was still about - nothing could ever be normal until this hunt, the one that had been going on for 14 years was over. But explaining that to someone who hadn't witnessed the incident that had begun this, was complicated…
Sam was a typical teenager; he had had a growth spurt in the last two years and was almost taller than Dean was now. He spent a lot of time brooding and sulking, especially when their dad and he argued - which was a frequent occurrence. These arguments often escalated once their dad left, when Sam and Dean were stuck in the same dingy motel room with only each other to rail up against.
On this particular afternoon, Sam had almost thrown something at Dean in his annoyance – Dean couldn't quite get why Sam was so worked up, or what about, but he wasn't going to put up with it today. He had flung his hands up in the air in exasperation and stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door behind him. He would let Sam cool down before he went back, whatever had made Sam erupt couldn't go on forever... Until he calmed down, Dean would just have to hang about the outside of the motel. He would never actually leave - he knew that if something happened to Sammy and he hadn't been around that his dad would have Dean's guts for garters. Dean skulked around the entrance to the motel for a short while, taking note of the cars that drove past until he no longer had any interest. Then as he ambled back along the side of the building, past the windows of the rooms, he heard a voice that sounded familiar floating through the tiny strip that was open at the bottom of the window that Dean recognised as the one that was from their room.
"Oh God..." Dean froze about a foot away from the window and listened carefully. It wasn't an exclamation, it wasn't said out of fear or worry; Dean could have sworn that it sounded exultant. Moving quietly forward, he peeked in at the corner of the window - his protective urge had overcome him, he wanted to check to make sure that Sammy was alright. The blinds were pulled half shut over the inside of the window, but there was about an inch space that Dean was able to peer through. Sam was propped on his bed, half lying down, half sitting; his eyes were closed and his head thrown back against the pillow. It took a few seconds before Dean realised that Sam was panting slightly and that his hands were positioned at his groin. There was a flash of flesh and Dean let out a low chuckle- Sam was jerking off! Maybe that was why Sam had been so pissed off earlier, all those pent up feelings straining to be released! And he couldn't do it with Dean in the room, that would have been strange... But this was equally as strange! Dean couldn't stand here – watching his little brother jacking off, that was just wrong… But as he turned away, he heard Sam's voice again, and it caused him to freeze:
"Dean…" Dean stopped dead in his tracks – had Sam seen him looking through the window? Man, that would be awkward! He stood, waiting for Sam's face to appear at the window and yell at him, but it never happened. Then Sam's voice came again, and this time there was a different quality to it; he sounded longing… Very tentatively, trying not to make any noise that might alert Sam to the fact that he was outside; but Sam was too involved, too wrapped up to notice. Dean felt an odd shivering sensation running up his spine; Sam was calling his name… Feeling a little stunned, Dean stumbled away from the window, shaking his head slightly as though trying to clear fog from inside his mind. He wasn't quite sure what to think about this… Surely he ought to be slightly weirded out by seeing his little brother masturbating and calling out his name? But for some, unknown, reason – he didn't feel that alarmed by it.
Dean pushed slowly on the motel room door; he had stood outside for the past five minutes, listening for any sound that might come from Sam… but everything was quiet now. He assumed that Sam must be finished, and he thought he could risk walking in. He was right in that assumption; Sam was now sitting upon the edge of his bed, a book in his hands. His whole demeanour was different from when Dean had left, he was much calmer – his shoulders had dropped, his expression had softened; he had relaxed. Suddenly Dean felt awkward, what was he supposed to do with the information that he had just came upon? How was he meant to interact with Sam now?
"Hey Dean," Sam said, looking up from his book; Dean jerked his head in a noncommittal fashion, but he didn't move, he just stood there – watching Sam. "I was just gonna get a drink, you want one?" Sam placed his book next to him on the bed and stood up.
"I'm fine, thanks Sammy." Dean replied, his voice was a little hoarse for some reason.
"Sam." Sam corrected insistently, he didn't like it when Dean called him Sammy- it made him feel like he was still a little kid. Just as Sam reached the door, his hand on the door handle ready to open it, Dean took a breath and said:
"Sam?" Sam turned his head to look at his brother, the door open just a crack, "I know what you've been doing." It was Sam's turn to freeze; after a second in which he must have thought he had heard wrong, his head flicked round to stare at Dean with his eyes wide in horror.
"What did you say?" His voice had dropped to a whisper and he had let go of the door handle so the door swung shut again.
"I… I heard you." Dean admitted; he shifted on his feet – an uncomfortable niggling sensation was making it difficult to stand still.
"Were… were you – watching me?!" Sam asked, he not only sounded outraged, but he looked downright petrified at the thought.
"No!" Dean rejected instantly. "I was outside! I just… overheard."
"I… I…" Sam stammered, his face had gone bright red.
"I don't want this to be awkward." Dean started slowly.
"How is this not going to be awkward?" Sam responded sharply, he looked rather embarrassed and ashamed.
"Why were you doing it?" Dean asked – then realised how stupid this question sounded.
"What do you mean?" Sam questioned, sounding confused. Dean took a step closer towards Sam, who was looking down at his feet as though they were the most interesting thing on the planet. Dean's fingers were trembling as he placed them underneath Sam's chin and raised his face so he was looking in his eyes. Sam was biting his lip, his chin was trembling; the look on his face made it look like this was his worst possible nightmare coming true.
"You know what I mean." Dean said firmly.
"I don't know…" Sam whispered honestly, his eyes were raking Dean's face –he was searching for any kind of recognition, any kind of platitude that would make this situation alright.
"Is it... Do you...?"Dean began speaking twice and cut off both times; he was very close to Sam's face now, he could see the flecks of gold that were distributed in Sam's eyes, but he didn't say anything else. There was a split second pause as the two of them stared into each other's eyes, then it happened- Dean's lips met Sam's, it was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Sam's lips were warm, soft, different to the stubble around Dean' mouth. Dean was aware of a dull pounding; the blood that was pumping through his veins had become unnecessarily loud as his hands gripped onto Sam's hips, pulling him closer towards him.
"This is wrong…" Sam murmured, pulling away rather reluctantly.
"Do you want me to stop?" Dean whispered, but despite Sam's vocal resistance, he was still holding himself close to Dean. It was like he was relishing in the protection that being close to Dean made him feel.
"No…" Sam responded, although he didn't sound altogether sure of what he was saying.
"Are you sure about that?" Dean gazed intently at his little brother; Sam wrapped his smaller arms around Dean's waist and with a strength that Dean wouldn't have given him credit for, drew Dean close towards him again.
"Yes." Sam's confirmation was exactly what Dean wanted to hear – his whole body had been flooded with electricity, with an excitement the like of which he had never felt before. Dean was trembling as Sam stretched up to kiss him again, but this time it was different – it wasn't like the last kiss; Sam's tongue had penetrated its way into Dean's mouth. Sam's tongue brushed across Dean's teeth, sending shivers up Dean's spine – Sam was in control now, all those times that Dean had looked out for his little brother, thinking he wasn't strong enough or dominant enough to take control, and he couldn't have been more wrong... Sam's hands gripped the lapels of Dean's coat and he was forcing him back onto the motel bed, which creaked loudly at the force of the two of the falling on top of it.
"Dean?" Sam asked quickly, "you alright?" Dean was panting, his mind whirling from the situation as it was unfolding.
"Yeah..." he answered, panting slightly as he lay on his back staring up at Sam. "Oh god yeah." Dean wrapped his fingers in Sam's hair- pulling him back towards, so he was in kissing distance again. Sam's hand was making its way down Dean's body, caressing his torso through his t-shirt. Dean moaned involuntarily when Sam's hand reached his groin, and pressed lightly- teasing him.
"Sam..." Dean was engulfed in a lust, in pure unadulterated desire and longing. "Sam, are you...?" Dean didn't even have the chance to get the words out; Sam was tugging at buckle of Dean's jeans. He was tearing down Dean's jeans, revealing his boxer shorts, a small smile lingering across his face.
"You want me to do this?" He asked, he was breathless himself; Dean nodded, barely able to contain the anticipation that was raging through him. Sam had straddled Dean's hips and begun pressing down into Dean's groin, the feeling was unlike anything that Dean had ever experienced before- he knew this was wrong, but that made the feeling even more intense. Sam was rubbing, pressing gently down onto Dean's cock- exciting him, arousing him. Then Sam's fingers slipped beneath the waist band of Dean's boxers, the cold touch of Sam's hand made Dean arch his back, moaning softly.
"Sam..." Dean whispered so gently it was barely audible, Sam lingered over Dean's face- so close to kissing him, but far enough away for Dean not to be able to reach him. Sam sat upright again, his knees pressing into the mattress either side of Dean's hips; and he pulled Dean's boxers down to around his knees, revealing Dean's genitals- his penis already erect and throbbing with impatience. Sam's fingers curled around the base of Dean's cock, his touch cold and gentle; and slowly he began to pulse up and down, stroking the entire length from base to tip. Dean's body was flooded with a warm, tingling sensation- he closed his eyes, allowing Sam to be in control, to be fully in charge of the reigns. Dean could hardly command his own body- he was quivering strongly, his limbs trembling as Sam stroked up and down Dean's cock. The heat that had begun pooling in Dean's body was concentrating in his abdomen; he knew what this was a build up to- he wasn't going to last much longer... "Sam... I can't-" he tried to speak, but his words were almost incoherent with the pleasure that was reaching a peak in his body.
"Sssh Dean," Sam whispered soothingly; he buried his head into Dean's neck, kissing it gently causing more shivers to race through Dean, all the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. "Come on..." His hand was pulsing harder and faster, gripping stronger.
The feeling was at its peak, Dean couldn't hold on for any longer; he came suddenly, with a loud moan and then went limp. He was gasping for air, trying to draw enough oxygen into his lungs- and Sam kissed Dean's neck again.
"Oh God Sam..." Dean breathed heavily; Sam collapsed beside Dean on the small bed, nestling close into his brother, taking in the warmth and the comforting smell of him. "How... how did you know... know how to do that?" Dean asked, slightly surprised at how good Sam was at this- how experienced he seemed to be... Sam raised his head from next to Dean's on the pillow, he was smiling- really smiling, the kind that didn't just affect a person's mouth, but lit up their eyes as well.
"I'm not a little kid anymore Dean, I've grown up." Sam answered.
"I can see that." Dean chuckled lowly.
"Do you like it?" Sam questioned faintly.
"Do I hell?" Dean nodded, "I love it." Dean leant over and kissed Sam gently on the lips. "I really love it..."
A/N: Really not used to writing Wincest, or smut in general actually... I'm just getting used to it, and I'd love to know what you think about it! :)