Hello. I got this idea out of nowhere and I just thought I'd try it.

It's a fic about Tsunade's drinking problem and how after a particularly bad hangover, her friends decide that she's going to quit whether she likes it or not. There's one pairing; NarutoShizune, but it's all for humor's sake. I promise. Nothing serious.

I don't own Naruto, or any other name brand products listed in this story

Tsunade sat at her desk on a Thursday night, buried in paperwork that she had put off for weeks. Now she had been awake for 96 hours. Three-foot stacks of paper covered in kanji stood all around her. She looked sadly at her nearly five-foot-high-just-as-good-as-vacant 'out' box and felt like crying. A pale moonlight was creeping into the office slowly. In one hand, she clutched a can of Red Bull (Kami knows where she got it) and in the other, an inked brush.

Taking a swig of the can in her left hand, she looked up at the clock by the door. 2:34 it read. She sighed and looked down at her young assistant Shizune, who was slouched over on the wall and snoring lightly.

She shook her head and continued to doodle her name on the multiple forms and mission requests until she nodded off.

Tsunade woke with a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. Her eyes snapped open and she groaned in distress as she eyed the mess of ink and energy drink all over her green kimono... as well as the front of her hair.

"Tsunade-sama?" It was Shizune. Tsunade lifted her head up with much effort. Her neck muscles hurt like hell, and her face was adhered to the desk by Red Bull.

"How long have I been out?" She managed to mumble.

Shizune giggled slightly at how ridiculous her master looked. A small bead of ink was working its way down her forehead and past her nose. "How long?" Tsunade repeated, a glassy look to her eyes.

"Uh... it's Wednesday," She said.

Tsunade blinked. "But... Wednesday was yesterday," she said unsurely.

Shizune fumbled with her words. She was not sure how her instructor would react. "You slept for... six days,"

Tsunade snapped out of her morning daze. "WHAT?!" She bolted upright, but then fell back to the floor, flailing in pain. Her back felt like it had been put through a taffy machine. "Aaah! Shit!!" She roared, clutching her back. Her hands glowed with green chakra, and she stopped after a few seconds.

"Six days?!" She asked, a little more calmly now.

"Y-Yes," Shizune said shakily.

"Well, why the HELL didn't you wake me?!" She cried.

So I could get pictures of you covered in sticky energy drink with ink on your forehead to every window in Konoha. "Well, Tsunade-sama... you do remember the last time someone tried to wake you when you hadn't slept enough..." Tsunade remembered, alright. It had happened in a casino when she had fallen asleep at the slots. The man who had tried to wake her didn't have a left arm anymore.

Tsunade wasn't sure she bought it. Six days? That was 48 hours more than the amount of time she was awake. Her eyes strayed to Shizune's pocket. A corner of a piece of paper was sticking out of it. "What's that?" She asked, pointing to her pocket.

"What's what?" Shizune said quickly.

"That,"

"What's that?"

"That! There!" Tsunade pointed sharply towards Shizune's pocket.

Shizune turned slightly, hiding the paper. "That's what?"

"What is it?"

"What?"

"In your pocket!"

"What's in my pocket?"

"What's in your pocket?"

"That's what I just said!"

"Aaagh!" Tsunade tackled Shizune and pinned her to the floor, then shot her hand towards Shizune's pocket. Then they both froze. At that moment, a certain white-haired, mask-wearing, Copy Ninja opened the door to find Tsunade over Shizune with her hand in her kimono. He blinked, and a spot right around his nose on his mask darkened a little bit.

"I'll just... come back later..." He started to back towards the door he came from.

"Wait!" Both women shouted in unison.

"It's not what you think!" Tsunade fumbled, but Kakashi was already out and away. Tsunade slowly turned her head at Shizune, the most menacing look she had ever sported was creeping over her face. "That's it," She snatched the paper from Shizune's pocket and looked at it, her face turning from sheer anger, to sheer horror. A loud noise erupted from the Hokage mansion.

"SHHHHIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!"

Shizune was creeping toward the door that Kakashi had left open, then bolted out quickly before her master's anger could get much worse and she would blow her stomach out with her fist. Yes, my friends, it was a photograph of Tsunade, passed out from exhaustion, with ink all over her forehead, and Red Bull covering every piece of paper and fabric around it.

As an added bonus, there was Shizune holding a large posterboard with an arrow pointing at the blonde Godaime and the words: "And she's available, guys!"

Tsunade sped out of her office, and grabbed Shizune's ear lobe. And with inhuman strength, she hoisted the girl into the air. "Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowoooowwww!" Shizune cried in anguish.

"Shizune," Tsuande said calmly. "How many copies of these are there?" Shizune gulped nervously.

"Uhh... hundreds," She gave a toothy smile, hoping that maybe Tsunade might have some mercy.

Tsunade set her down and turned to look at her in the eye. "You. Will. Destroy. Every. Last. One." She said through gritted teeth. Shizune gulped and nodded again. "If I find one copy, I will tell Naruto that you have a picture of him showering in your wallet." She threatened.

"No!" Shizune gasped. "You promised you would never!" She bawled.

"Given the circumstances, I think it seems just," Tsunade retorted. "Now go!" She concluded.

Shizune snapped to attention. "Hai, Tsunade-sama!" She then fled her boss' presence to rip down every copy of the photograph from the store windows before she was gutted like a trout.

Tsunade sighed. "I need a drink," she decided.

Hi, I really hope you liked it. Please tell me what you think.

Please r&r.

–Rai