"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to
have loved at all."- Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam
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Across the Barrier of Friendship
Chapter One
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Hermione felt her eyes give a tug as she flipped the pages of an old, tattered-looking book. She glanced at the enchanted wall clock atop the fireplace, and squinted to see that it was already well past 5 o'clock in the morning.
Only two more pieces of homework to finish, she thought, somewhat distraught. Hermione's legs were curled up and crossed over each other onto the seat of the chair, worn out from walking from the library to the common room. Her hand was also getting tired of writing and page-flipping, and her frizzy brown hair had strands sticking out at odd angles. She sat, eyelids heavy, and thoughtlessly smudged her fingers at the spiralling marks of wood that swam under the hardness of the table.
At that moment, she felt like she wanted to agree with Ron that she really had taken another unnecessary load of subjects for their fifth year. But she couldn't admit this; it would be simply unprofessional for an academic whiz like she was. And, she would certainly look irresponsible if she didn't finish. She had to keep her eyes open. It would only be short of two hours more until the rest of the school awakens, and her homework would be completed.
She then picked up her quill and began to write on the piece of parchment that lay beside the huge library book, occasionally glancing at the carefully researched paragraphs that lay flatly before her. One of them read:
The Celtic Warrior Queen Boadicea (AD ..30-63) had taken a great liking to Paracelsus the Great of Rome. Unfortunately, however, Paracelsus had found her to be "squalidly barbaric" and made a prodigious attempt to keep away from her at all times. But Druidess Boadicea was not a woman of relinquishment, as she proved through the numerous creations of the era's early attraction concoctions, now more commonly known as "love potions", which she had intentionally placed in one of Paracelsus' jewelled goblets.
Although Paracelsus had finally, though artificially, fallen for Boadicea, the concept of these potions spread throughout the country, only ceasing to be as believable when Boadicea discovered Paracelsus to be affiliated with another woman in the event of their relationship. This brought about the Great Iceni-Roman war (AD 61-63), initiated by Queen Boadicea herself.
Hermione snorted lightly. "How could anyone get so desperate?" she asked herself in disbelief. This was the first alternate reaction she had experienced for hours—she had been having her mind carrying a load of things and a large chunk of missing sleep.
It was only a portion of her perseverance and the crackling fire of the Gryffindor common room that kept her awake. The crisp sound of the flames ringed around in her ears, reminding her to keep her eyes wide open and helping her fight back that incredibly strong wave of sleepiness that struggled to overcome her now and then. It was very fortunate that the fire crackled so loudly that morning---
"Wait, that isn't the fire!" she suddenly told herself, glancing up from her homework. She looked around carefully and saw a tuft of jet-black hair resting on the head of an armchair with its back to her. Slowly, she got up and stretched lightly, then walked to the spot where the armchair sat. She could recognize that mangled mess of hair anywhere.
"Harry?" she asked quietly. Getting no response, she walked around to face the boy. She smiled, amused, at the sight of a snoring Harry Potter with a green book in his hand.
"Quidditch Through the Ages," she muttered, taking a look at the book's cover. Typically Harry, she thought to herself.
She decided to just sit there for a while—after all, a few minutes wouldn't hurt. She just found the sight so soothing at the moment. It was a real break to see something so innocent, driving her away from her pressured thoughts of homework for a while.
And, it helped that this was Harry Potter. He was the best friend she never had, the boy she had read about even before she reached Hogwarts, and most importantly, the boy she had been admiring for years. Somehow, she felt so much courage in being the intelligent, school-oriented, hardworking Hermione; but she lost all of this courage when it came to letting Harry know how she really felt.
She stared at him quietly, like a little schoolgirl with a silly little crush. She studied the features that made up his charming face: the bangs that covered his uniquely-shaped scar; the thin mouth that hung slightly open with his light snores; and the eyelids that hid beneath them a pair of bright green eyes. He wasn't exceptionally handsome, but from the five years Hermione had spent with him, she knew more of what lay beneath. And looking at that restful, maturing face at the moment, Hermione couldn't help but marvel at how much he had grown through the years.
She had first seen him as that famous, eleven-year-old Boy-Who-Lived at that train ride going to Hogwarts. She seemed to have found him badly influenced by her other bestfriend Ron at that time, having had a knack for rule-breaking and getting into trouble. Hermione had the two of them to count on when she wanted to meet trouble along the way. Harry was nothing but a mere childish acquaintance at that time, only to become her best friend months later.
Of course, she could also remember how she had seen him a year later, when all of them were already twelve. It was only a birthday apart from their previous year, but it was in this year that Hermione began to see Harry in a different light. She just didn't know it yet, being rather overly preoccupied with academics and piles of books, but she felt it. It was not very hard for her to remember that distinct feeling at the pit of her ribs whenever she met Harry's eyes, or even just looked at him straight in the face. And, his admirable show of Godric's qualities upon opening the Chamber of Secrets just made Hermione like him even more.
Hermione smiled at the thought, and proceeded on.
Thirteen. Yes, she could remember that year well, too. It was the age that made the three of them turn away from the world of childhood and into the hustle and bustle of being--- what else, but teenagers. Hermione could not forget this year—it was when she had realized that even in the wizarding world existed the infallible concept of crushes, having finally noticed that she was already having one as well. And that event with the time-turner… it was Harry that had been there with her, the two attempting to save lives. And of course, she couldn't forget that memorable ride on Hagrid's hippogriff, Buckbeak.
I've been staying with Parvati and Lavender too much, she thought, still smiling. Hermione, keep poor little Buckbeak away from your love-stricken fantasies!
Oh, and who could forget their fourth year at Hogwarts? It was perhaps the busiest year they had had as of that moment. There was the Triwizard Tournament for one, and the Quidditch World Cup even before the schoolyear had begun. And those nasty encounters with deatheaters and the Dark Lord—it wasn't at all easy to forget about them. But, atop all this, Hermione still managed to squeeze in one of the most fussed about events that happened in the same year—their Yule Ball. She remembered how bad she felt when Harry proved to be oblivious to the fact of her existence as a girl. It was such a silly thing to do, fussing over some Asian girl and having a very giggly girl as his date. And Ron—he was there, but he only worsened the situation when he began that senseless fight with her.
The smile on Hermione's face slowly faded back into a line, and looked back at Harry's face. Through the years, she realized that she had actually seen through all his flaws, grasped to the thought of his undaunted courage, and had gone to appreciate how wonderful Harry really was.
Hermione rested her cheek in one hand. I love you, Harry, she thought. More than you'll ever know.
Unfortunately, as the green book Harry had been holding on to dropped with a little thud on the carpeted floor, the pair of green orbs in front of her slowly came into view as Harry suddenly opened his eyes.
"Wh—Hermione!" he said, startled at seeing her. "What are you doing here?"
Hermione blushed at being addressed so suddenly. "Oh—sorry—didn't see you wake up," she replied incoherently. "I was doing my homework and I accidentally spotted you-- out of your dormitory." She breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing herself make an acceptable excuse. "Which reminds me, why on earth are you sleeping here?"
Harry yawned. "Oh… I guess I fell asleep reading this. Ron was here too, but I guess he already went back to sleep. Agh, didn't even bother to wake me up."
Hermione nodded absentmindedly.
They just stared at each other for a while, still groggy from not getting enough sleep. There was a peaceful silence between them, and not even a trace of awkwardness. It was the kind of silence one would feel with friends of age. But, somehow, Hermione couldn't stifle that other feeling that rested inside her. Her heart felt secure, but it seemed like it had been melting at the same time.
"What about you?" Harry inquired. "Why've you been doing your homework at this hour?"
"Oh, fell asleep while doing all my assignments as well. Can you believe I wasn't even able to finish the one Professor Vector had given on tesseract roots?"
Harry rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms. "You work too hard, Hermione." He shook his head disbelievingly.
Hermione gave him a sarcastic grin. "So what's it to you?"
"Well, for one, I'm having a hard time distinguishing your eyes from those eyebags. They're both huge."
"Oh, shut up."
"Well, it's true," Harry replied with a groggy smile.
Another period of silence followed, with only the slow tick-tocking of the clock and the real cracks of the fire. Hermione gazed into the smiling pools of green that caught her in a wave of pure admiration, but it was then that the both of them began to feel awkward. Harry noticed he had been glancing at her blankly as well, and turned away to look at the fireplace instead. Hermione, noticing this, stood up almost immediately. She had almost forgotten about her homework!
"Erm, I need to finish my homework now, it'll be six in the morning soon."
Harry nodded rather awkwardly, and got up from the couch as well. "Oh, alright then. I'll see you at the Great Hall for breakfast."
He was about to walk away when Hermione looked back instinctively. "Er, Harry," she said subconsciously.
"Hmm?"
"I—I have to tell you something."
She couldn't keep it any longer. She was going to tell him. She just had to tell him. It was definitely now or never.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
Hermione blushed. "It's—it's…" She felt her mind search desperately for another excuse. "---It's… Ron."
Ron? What about Ron?, she thought, panicking. Think something up, quick!
Harry's face looked even more confused. "Ron? What about Ron?"
"Erm…" She said the first sentence that entered her mind. "I like him?" Oh, nice going, Hermione, you idiot!, she scolded herself. That was utterly stupid!
Harry looked speechless at first, but his face soon broke into a mischievous smile. "Oh… so you do?"
"I mean---"
"You mean like like? Or just like?" There was a definite though discreet boost of energy that suddenly sprang up in his voice.
"Harry! I was—I was just joking---"
"Don't worry, Hermione, your secret's safe with me." He proceeded to walk quietly out of the common room towards his dormitory. "Oh, and Hermione?" he added quickly. His smile broadened. "I think Ron likes you too."
"Harry, wait!" Hermione called out. But it was too late—Harry had already gone out of view.
Hermione ruffled her hair in irritation, scolding herself repeatedly. "You idiot, you idiot, you idiot, you idiot! Why, Hermione, you wretched girl, did you tell him that? Why???" She looked down at her essay hopelessly. "Now you're never going to finish this. Never."
And she sat there, frustrated, not knowing that somewhere behind her, a red-headed figure had already waken up in one of the other armchairs, unable to stifle a goofy grin on his freckled face.
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A/N: How did it go? Please don't forget to review! ^_~ I'd really appreciate the reviews!