Allegiant: Alternative ending.

By: batzmary (M.C Rojas)

Hey guys, well… I finally had the courage to finish the last couple of chapters of Allegiant (after a month) and… well… now that I finally know how Tris died, I can write the alternative ending that I've wanted to write.

God, you should've seen me when I was reading up ahead to make sure she was alive and found out she wasn't. I pulled off a tantrum like a five year old and started crying and screaming and…I felt like throwing up…

Damn, I didn't even go to school the next day cuz I felt so sick to my stomach after that tantrum xD

(I need help o.O)

Anyway…

To be honest, I LOVED the ending. It was… painful and heart wrenching, but… it was… at the same time, soothing. Like if it said that no matter what kind of shit life throws at you, you can still lean on your friends and move on. "We can be mended. We mend each other."

It was the RIGHT ending just because Veronica Roth wanted it that way… (After all, it's her story and she can do whatever the hell she wants with it.)

But still, my heart aches just by the though of Tris dying and Tobias having to go through that. I hated how lonely his life sounded at the Epilogue. I hated that Tris made him better (like Amar pointed out) and that she was just taken away from him. I hated how Tris wanted to live (deserved to live) and…how she survived the death serum only to be killed by that…son of a bitch, David!

So in this, I'm writing an alternative ending. I need to pretend that Tris is still alive somehow and I hope that this also helps all of you out there. I mean, I'm an okay writer, I'm just… a wannabe xD still, I hope this helps you as it helped me.

Damn…I've never been so affected by a book before… o.O

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it.

I'M GONNA BE MIXING PARTS OF THE BOOK WITH WHAT I HAVE IN MIND. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VERONICA ROTH. (So don't sue me, please xD)

So… here goes nothing….

TRIS

(…)

I hear footsteps in the hallway outside. The soldiers are coming. Good –I need them to. I need them to be exposed to the air-born serum, to pass it on to the rest of the compound. I hope they wait until the air is clear of death serum.

"My mother wasn't a fool," I say. "She just understood something you didn't. That it's not sacrifice if it's someone else's life you're giving away, it's just evil."

I back up another step and say, "She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love, not misplaced disgust for another person's genetics. That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own. That's why I need to stop you from 'sacrificing' all those people and their memories. Why I need to rid the world of you once and for all."

I shake my head.

"I didn't come here to steal anything, David."

I twist and lunge toward the device. The gun goes off and pain races through my body. I don't even know where the bullet hit me.

I can still hear Caleb repeating the code for Mathew. With a quaking hand I type in the numbers on the keypad.

The gun goes off again, but this time I hear it go off twice. A bullet hits the machinery next to my head, right next to my ear.

"Tris!" I hear Caleb behind me.

I feel something liquid and warm running down by back and stomach and I look down, my shirt stained with blood. The green button, I remember as I clutch my stomach. I look up from my wound and press it on the keypad.

I hear a beep and a churning sound.

"Tris!" I hear Caleb yell my name again as my vision becomes spotty at the edges. The blood trickles through my fingers as I clutch my stomach harder. I fall to my knees and in a second, Caleb is right beside me, wearing the suit that would supposedly delay the death serum's effects.

I cough. "What…what are you doing here?"

He helps me sit on the floor. Behind him, I see David's dead body slumped on his chair, a bullet wound on his head. I look at Caleb, kneeling next to me, my gun in his hand.

"I couldn't let you do this," he shakes his head, pushing the cap of the suit back. "Not when I owe you too much."

I let out a small unbelieving laugh. "For someone so smart, you did something very stupid." He gives me a half smile. "How did you get pass the guards?"

"I believe that the death serum was still in the air," he says. "They were already dead when I got here."

I nod and then wince. I start to feel light headed; like I could faint in any second. I'm losing blood too fast.

"I need to get you to the hospital."

He moves to lift me up but I stop him, wincing as he tries to pass his arms underneath me. I shake my head. "Caleb, the doctors must be knocked out by now."

"Tris, I just can't let you bleed out in here! Come on, we have to try! I'm not going to let you die in here."

He slides his arm under mine and he pulls me up. I wince and can't help the whimper that escapes my lips. I lean against him and we stumble out the Weapons Lab. But we don't make it half way into the hall when I fall to my knees, bringing Caleb down with me.

"Tris, come on! We have to move!" he tries pulling me up again, but I don't budge.

"Caleb…" I look at him before my eyes drift over his shoulder, something else catching my eye. "Mom…" I mumble, feeling the thread tugging me again, tugging me toward her. I hear Caleb yell my name.

My mother smiles at me as she gets closer. She is dressed in the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her, Abnegation grey, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo. There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she's frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few loose strands frame her face in gold.

I know she can't be alive, but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss, or if she is here in some other way. She kneels next to Caleb and me and touches a cool hand to my cheek.

"Hello, Beatrice," she says, and she smiles.

"Am I done, yet?" I say, frowning at her, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it and she hears it.

"Yes," she says, her eyes bright with tears. "My dear child, you've done so well."

"What about the others?" I choke on a sob, tears finally finding my eyes. Is this the end? No, please, it can't be. An image of Tobias comes into my mind, of how dark and how still his eyes were, how strong and warm his hand was, when we first stood face-to-face. "Tobias, Caleb, my friends?"

My eyes drift to Caleb, who's shaking me, but I can't feel it.

"They'll care for each other," she says. "That's what people do."

I feel the thread tugging me, but I fight against it. I shake my head, tears spilling from my eyes. I look at my mother. "I can't go yet. I can't leave them. I have to live. For them, for me." For Tobias. Please God, Tobias.

My mother smiles a kind smile, her hand still on my cheek. She nods and I watch her stand up, her hand falling to her side. She leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

That's the last thing I feel before I drift off into darkness, Caleb's panicked face engraved into my mind before I close my eyes.

TOBIAS

(…)

We drive past the fences and stop by the front doors, which are no longer manned by guards. We get out, and Zeke seizes his mother's hand to steady her as she shuffles through the snow. As we walk into the compound, I know for a fact that Caleb succeeded, because there is no one in sight. That can only mean that they have been reset, their memories forever altered.

"Where is everyone?" Amar says.

We walk through the abandoned security checkpoints without stopping. On the other side, I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face.

"What is it?" I say.

Cara shakes her head.

"Where's Tris?" I say.

"Tobias…Tobias, she…" she trails off with a sigh.

"Cara, what's going on? What happened to Tris?" I demand her, my voice louder. I feel my heart begin to speed up as Cara looks down at her shoes before she looks back up at me.

"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. I freeze. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she…she was shot. David shot her."

I shake my head. "No." This must be a lie. Tris is still alive, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed and her small body full of power and strength, standing in a shaft of light in the atrium. Tris is still alive; she wouldn't leave me here alone. She wouldn't go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb. No, she can't be dead. No.

"No," Christina says, shaking her head. "No way. There has to be some mistake."

"Christina-."

It's then that I realize: Of course Tris would go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb. Of course she would.

Christina yells something, but to me her voice sounds muffled, like I have submerged my head underwater. I hear Cara yell something back and all the details in her face have also become difficult to see, the world smearing together into dull colors.

"No, no, no," I mumble to myself, feeling like the earth will crumble underneath my feet at any second. I press a hand to my forehead and I feel lightheaded.

"Four!" I hear Amar exclaim my name, muffled, and I feel his hands steady me before I fall. "Four! Come on, man! Tobias!"

"Tobias!" I feel Cara's hands on my face and she makes me look at her. "God, didn't you hear me? Damn it! Tris is alive!" she yells. "She's alive!"

My eyes snap up to hers and I feel like my head rose from the water. "What?"

"She's not dead!" Cara repeats and then sighs, frowning. "But she lost a lot of blood and she's unconscious. One of the GD's with medical training stopped the bleeding. Apparently the bullet went right through her but luckily didn't hit any vital organs. We still don't know if she's going to wake up, though."

I feel my heart pounding in my ears as I press my index finger and thumb to my eyes. I let out a shaky breath. She's not dead. She can still get better. She has to get better. She will get better. She can't leave me like this, she wouldn't.

"I need to sit down."

TOBIAS

In the days that follow it's movement, not stillness that keeps my mind off Tris. She still hasn't woken up and I'm growing less hopeful each day. I watch everyone else recover from the memory serum that altered them permanently as if from a great distance.

Those lost in the memory serum haze are gathered into groups and given the truth: that human nature is complex, that all our genes are different, but neither damaged nor pure. They are also given a lie: that their memories were erased because of a freak accident, and that hey were on the verge of lobbying the government for equality for GD's.

I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and the crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I am terrified, terrified that if Tris dies, I'll lose everything; because, after all, she is all I have. I have nothing to live for anymore if she doesn't make it. If she dies, I die too.

My hands shake as I stop by the control room to watch the city on the screens. Johanna is arranging transportation for those who want to leave the city. They will come here to learn the truth. I don't know what will happen to those who remain in Chicago, and I'm not sure I care.

I shove my hands into my pockets and watch for a few minutes, then walk away again, trying to match my footsteps to my heartbeat, or to avoid the cracks between the tiles. When I walk past the entrance, I see a small group of people gathered by the stone sculpture, one of them in a wheelchair –Nita.

I walk past the useless security barrier and stand at a distance, watching them. Reggie steps on the stone slab and opens a valve in the bottom of the water tank. The drops turn into a stream of water and soon water gushes out of the tank, splattering all over the slab, soaking the bottom of Reggie's pants.

"Tobias?"

I shudder a little. It's Caleb. I turn away from the voice, searching for an escape route.

"Wait, please," he says.

I don't want to look at him, because, even though he's the one who shot David in the head and got Tris to the hospital on time, he is still the reason why she went in there instead of him; he's the reason why she got shot and almost bled to death in the first place.

Still I look at him. His hair is unwashed and unkempt, his green eyes bloodshot, his mouth twitching into a frown.

"I don't mean to bother you," he says. "But I have something to tell you. Something…she told me to tell you, before…"

"Just get on with it," I say, fighting the urge to choke him with my bare hands.

"She told me that if she didn't survive, I should tell you…" Caleb chokes, then pulls himself up straight, fighting off tears. "That she didn't want to leave you."

I glare at him, my hands balling into fists. "Why are you talking as if she's already dead?" I spit at him through gritted teeth. I take a step forward, my hands trembling with the desire of having his neck between my fingers. "She's not dead, Caleb! She's still not dead!"

He gulps, taking small steps back. "She might as well be," he murmurs and I feel the blood boiling in my veins, almost exploding in my head.

"There you are," Christina says, jogging towards us just as I was about to launch myself at him. She takes a hold of my arm and I force myself to stare at her. Her voice is listless, like a heavy sigh. "Come on, it's time. They're unplugging him."

I shudder at the word, but I take a deep breath and glance at Caleb once before I follow Christina down to the hospital. Perhaps it's better this way; I wouldn't want to explain Tris why her brother died so suddenly.

Hana and Zeke have been hovering over Uriah's body since we got here, their fingers finding his, their eyes searching for life. But there is no life left, just the machine beating his heart.

We make it to the observation window outside Uriah's room, right next to Tris's room. Evelyn is there –Amar picked her up in my stead, a few days ago. She tries to touch my shoulder and I yank it away, not wanting to be comforted.

Inside the room, Zeke and Hana stand on either side of Uriah. Hana is holding one of his hands, and Zeke is holding the other. A doctor stands near the heart monitor, a clipboard outstretched, held out not to Hana or Zeke but Zoe, David's assistant.

"What is she doing here?" I ask Cara, who stands next to me.

"Since David's dead, she's the one who's…sort of in charge. At least until they choose someone new," she explains and I nod. Zoe signs the clipboard, hunched and dazed, like all the others who have lost their memories. She turns around and exits the room, walking away without giving us a second look.

In Uriah's room, Zeke and Hana join their free hands over Uriah's body. I see Hana's lips moving, but I can't tell what she's saying –do the Dauntless have prayers for the dying? The Abnegation react to death with silence and service, not words. I'm suddenly lost in muffled grief for Uriah, whose smile is burned into my memory. My friend's brother, and then my friend, too, though not for long enough to let his humor work its way into me, not for long enough.

The doctor flips some switches, his clipboard clutched to his stomach, and the machines stop breathing for Uriah. Zeke's shoulders shake, and Hana squeezes his hand tightly, until her knuckles go white.

Then she says something, and her hands spring open, and she steps back from Uriah's body, letting him go.

I move away from the window, letting out a pained sigh as I look away, not really wanting to face my best friend's grief. I walk out of the hospital, continuing my aimless walk around the compound.

I didn't get back to the dorm until around one in the morning, knowing that everyone would be in their beds by that time. After staring at Tris's empty bed for a couple of hours, I finally managed to fall into a restless sleep.

I wake up the next morning with Christina shaking my shoulder avidly. I frown and stare up at her annoyed. I blink a couple of times, trying to focus her face.

"What?"

"It's Tris," she says. I immediately spring up, ignoring the soreness of my muscles and try to blink away the sleep in my eyes. I want to ask what's wrong with her, but the fear of her answer prevents me from doing it, so I just wait for her to talk. She smiles and she wipes a tear away. I hadn't even noticed that she was crying. "She's awake."

The next thing I know is that I'm sprinting down the hallways, pushing people out of my way, Christina right at my tail. My heart beats wildly in my chest and I feel it pounding in the tip of my fingers. I turn at a sharp corner, almost slipping and falling, but I quickly regain my balance. Christina's voice still sounds in my head. She's awake, she's awake. My Tris is awake. Please, don't let this be a dream.

"Four, slow down, you're going to hurt yourself!" I hear Amar chuckle as I push through the double doors of the hospital. I don't even bother to answer him, or look at him for that matter, and I burst into Tris's room, my heart beating at its fastest.

Her light blue eyes snap over to me as soon as I come in and a smile spreads across her face. She looks drained and fragile, like she hadn't slept in days. She looks small, smaller than usual. Caleb, who was sitting on the bed next to her, stands up, but I don't really look at him. I make my way over to Tris, breathing heavily from running. Don't let this be a dream; please, don't let this be a dream.

"I'll leave you two alone," Caleb murmurs and walks out of the room.

"Hi," she says softly.

I stare at her for a moment, my eyes roaming over her pale face, a part of me still believing that I'm dreaming. I sit on the bed and her tiny hand reaches for mine, her touch weak and soft. I continue looking at her, and suddenly I can't take it anymore. A rush of emotions overwhelms me and I shake my head, tears finding their way into my eyes. I try to fight them back, but I know there is no use.

"You're so stupid, Tris!" I hiss at her, pulling my shaking hand from of hers and placing it over her cheek, resting my forehead on hers. She places a hand on the back of my neck.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs and I press my lips to hers, kissing her firmly, almost urgent. "I'm sorry."

"You can't do this to me again," I shake my head, tears spilling from my eyes, my hands shaking against her skin. "Not for a third time, you can't. I don't think I could handle it. I can't risk losing you again."

"You won't lose me," she assures me. "It was just something I had to do."

"I know," I say. "And I know you, but… and I know I sound selfish but…but I don't care. You can't leave me."

"Hey," she brushes her thumb across my cheek and I look into her eyes. "I won't. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, at least not without you."

"Okay," I nod and kiss her again. "You better not."

She smiles. "I won't."

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too."

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

TRIS

Evelyn stands at the place where two worlds meet. Tire tracks are beginning to worn into the ground now, from the frequent coming and going of people from the fringe, moving in and out, or the people from the former Bureau compound, commuting back and forth. Her bag rests against her leg, in one of the wells in the earth. She lifts a hand to greet us when we're close.

When she gets into the back part of the truck she leans over to kiss Tobias on the cheek and gives me a polite smile, which I return. We're trying to get along for Tobias's sake, but we're still working on it. After everything she put her son through, I'm not quite fond of her. A smile creeps across Tobias's face and I can't help but smile at his smile as he squeezes my thigh.

"Welcome back," Tobias says to his mother.

The agreement, that Tobias offered her eight months ago and then she offered to Johanna shortly after, was that she would leave the city. Now, so much has changed in Chicago that we don't see the harm of her coming back and neither does she; much to my dislike.

"How are you?" she says.

"We're okay," Tobias says. "We're scattering Uriah's ashes today at the chasm."

I see Evelyn nod in the rearview mirror and I look out at the fields. The crops that were once isolated to the areas around Amity head-quarters are beginning to spread through all the grassy spaces around the city. It's nice to see that the once desolated land is now being occupied by rows and rows of corn and wheat. I see people among the plants, checking the soul with handheld devices designed by former Bureau scientists. They wear red and blue and green and purple.

Tobias takes Evelyn and I back to our apartment just north of the river. It's on one of the lower floors, but through the abundant windows I can see a wide stretch of buildings under construction. We were two of the first settlers in the new Chicago, so we got to choose where we lived.

Zeke, Shauna, Christina, Amar and George opted to live in the higher floors of the Hancock building, and Caleb and Cara both moved back to the apartments near Millennium Park, but we decided to come here because it's beautiful and because it's nowhere near either of our old houses. We wanted a fresh start.

"Our neighbor is a history expert, he came from the fringe," Tobias says behind me as I search my pockets for the keys. "He calls Chicago 'the fourth city' –because it was destroyed by fire, ages ago, and then again by the Purity War, and now we're on the fourth attempt at settlement here."

"The fourth city," Evelyn says as I push the door open. "I like it."

"Yeah, I do too," he grins and winks at me as he brings Evelyn's luggage into the house.

I roll my eyes. "Please, you only like it because your nickname is Four," I say and Tobias kisses my cheek.

"And you're just jealous because you wished it was called 'the sixth city'," he smirks at me and I glare at him as he drops Evelyn's bags on the couch.

There's hardly any furniture inside, just a table and a couch, some chairs and a kitchen. Tobias and I haven't been exactly looking around to decorate our apartment. Sunlight winks in the windows of the building across the marshy river. Some of the former Bureau scientists are trying to restore the river and the lake to their former glory, but it will be a while. Change, like healing, takes time.

I walk to the kitchen to prepare something to eat before we go to the Dauntless compound for Uriah's ceremony. I let Tobias chat away with his mother as I pull out a bag of bread from the cupboard. I can't help but eavesdrop as I prepare the sandwiches.

I watch her sit at the table and look around, twitchy and spry, like a cat.

"Do you know where your father is?" she says.

Tobias shrugs. "Someone told me he left. I didn't ask where he went."

Evelyn rests her chin on her hand. "There's nothing you wanted to say to him? Nothing at all?"

"No," he says. "I just wanted to leave him behind me, where he belongs."

I turn my head to look at Tobias's expression. He had told me about the last encounter he had with Marcus two weeks after I left the hospital. He said that attacking him in front of the Dauntless in the Merciless Mart didn't make him feel better about the pain he had caused him, yelling him or insulting him wouldn't work either, that there was only one option left and that was letting go.

That's Tobias, and I'm proud of him. He's always been the strongest out of the both of us. I still have to learn to overcome things and leave them behind, where they should be. Every day I try, but the images of what happened at the Weapon's Lab still burn brightly in my head, the wound in my stomach and back still hurting at times. The image of my parents being shot, Will, Al, Lynn, Marlene, that young boy from the Candor compound, Fernando, Tori, Uriah…

I've forgiven myself, and I no longer want to die because of what I did, but I still think about them, they never leave my mind. Some days they're less present than others, but… at the end of the day they're still there. Even Eric's death crawls into my head once in a while, and it's not like I was his biggest fan.

I frown, but then I'm brought back from my thoughts when I see Evelyn pull out something from her bag on the couch. She takes out an object made of blue glass. It looks like falling water, suspended in time. Tobias's water sculpture; the one that symbolized his quiet defiance against his father, against being an obedient Abnegation boy; the one that symbolized his strength and also his mother's.

"When you were gone, this reminded me of you," Evelyn says, clutching the glass to her stomach. "Reminded me of how brave you were, always have been." She smiles a little. "I thought you might keep it here. I intended it for you, after all."

Tobias smiles back and nods. A part of me wonders what he's thinking, but I guess he'll tell me later.

Assuming that they're done discussing, I bring over the sandwiches and we sit down to eat.

Tobias and I step out of the truck and walk down the platform toward the group that has already gathered. He slips his fingers through mine and holds my hand tightly. I squeeze back, knowing that facing Zeke is making him nervous. Things are still weird between them; they haven't shared more than a couple of words since we left the Bureau compound. Even though Tobias was able to get over his father, he still feels guilty for what happened to Uriah.

Christina stands with Zeke and Shauna, who sits in the wheelchair with a blanket and Uriah's urn over her lap. She has a better wheelchair now, one without handles on the back, so she can maneuver it more easily. Matthew stands on the platform with his toes over the edge and Caleb is discussing something with Cara.

As we approach, Zeke turns to us and I feel Tobias's hand tighten around mine before he flashes a small smile to us. I smile back and wave at him.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey, I'm glad you could make it," Zeke says, rubbing Shauna's shoulder softly.

"Yeah, us too," I say and then look around. "Where's Amar?"

"He and George should be here soon," Shauna responds.

Tobias shifts from one foot to another beside me and I look up at him. He looks uneasy, worried even. I wrap my arms around his waist and he turns his gaze on me. I give him a reassuring smile and rub his back. He smiles back and leans down to kiss me.

"I'm fine," he murmurs so softly that if I wasn't this close to him, I wouldn't have heard him. I nod.

"Just making sure."

"I've got something to show you," Shauna says, making us look at her. She passes the urn over to Zeke and tosses the blanket aside, revealing complicated metal braces on her legs. They go all the way up to her hips and wrap around her belly like a cage. She smiles at us, and with a gear-grinding sound, her feet shift to the ground in front of the chair, and in fits and starts, she stands.

I watch Tobias grin by the corner of my eye and I smile too, despite the serious occasion.

"Well, look at that," Tobias says. "I'd forgotten how tall you are."

"Caleb and his lab buddies made them for me," she says. "Still getting the hang of it, but they say I might be able to run someday."

"Nice," Tobias says, glancing over at Caleb, who finally took notice of us. I watch him smile and walk over to us. He embraces me in a tight hug.

"Hey, sis," he smiles, pulling away. He turns to Tobias, who doesn't look too pleased to see him, and I know he isn't. I know that even though he made peace with Caleb, he still has a little trouble being around him. "Tobias."

"Caleb."

Just then the train comes. It squeals as it slows to a stop in front of the platform. A head leans out the window of the first car, where the controls are –it's Amar, grinning at us. George's head pops out next and he waves.

"Get on, losers!" Amar says.

Shauna sits in the chair again and pushes herself through the doorway. Mathew, Christina, Caleb, Cara, Zeke and Tobias follow. I get on last and sit down against the wall and Christina sits down next to me. We smile at each other. I watch Tobias stand in the doorway, his hand clutching the handle. The train starts again, building speed with each second, and I hear it churning over the tracks and whistling over the rails. The air blows through Tobias hair and presses his clothes to his body and I can't help but bite the inside of my cheek as I stare.

"Do you want me to get you a bucket for your drool?" Christina mocks me and I elbow her playfully.

"Shut up," I laugh and she smirks at me.

I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes. It's not the same as it used to be, and it's getting hard to get accustomed to our new way of living, but I guess I've always been good with hard. All of us have found new places. Cara and Caleb started working in the laboratories at the compound, which became a small segment of the Department of Agriculture that works to make agriculture more efficient, capable of feeding more people since the city is starting to get crowded. Matthew works in the psychiatric research somewhere in the city –the last time I asked him, he was studying something about memory. Christina and I work in an office that relocates people from the fringe who want to move into the city. Tobias is now the assistant of Johanna Reyes, one of our city's representatives in government; instead of using his force he now prefers to use his words. I don't blame him; I don't think I'll ever touch a gun again in my life. Zeke and Amar are policemen, and George trains the police force –Dauntless jobs, I call them.

"So," Christina says, getting my attention. I open my eyes and turn to look at her. "How are you dealing with all this Tobias's-mother-moving-in-with-you thing?"

I shrug. "I don't like the woman, but she's still the mother of my boyfriend," I say, watching by the corner of my eye how Tobias grasps the other handle and leans out of the car as it turns. I watch the train climb up higher and higher, toward the rooftop we're going to jump on. "I kinda have to suck it up. Besides, she's not going to live with us forever; she's going to go looking for apartments with Tobias tomorrow, so…"

Christina nods. "That's what she says now," she says and I elbow her again. She laughs. "Kidding, I'm kidding."

"Yeah, you better," I glare at her and she laughs harder. I shake my head at her but end up laughing along. "I don't think I'd live through that."

Tobias turns his head to look at us and he smiles, arching one of his eyebrows at us. I only wink at him and he chuckles, pushing himself off the doorway and sitting next to me on the floor.

"What are you ladies laughing about?"

"Oh nothing," I grin at him, running my fingers through his hair. "Just girl stuff," I lie.

"Yeah, make-up and stuff," Christina says and we laugh again. Tobias stares at us weirdly and shakes his head, probably deciding that he doesn't want to know.

A while later, Zeke walks over to the door. "It's time," he shouts over the loud wind.

We all get up on our feet and walk over to the doorway, except for Shauna. "I'll meet you guys down there, okay?" she shouts and we nod. She'll probably just get off at the Pire above the pit with Amar and George.

One by one jump on the roof until there's only me and Tobias left. I look at him for a second before I grasp his hand firmly in mine and we jump. I wince as my feet impact with the cement of the roof, a sharp pain piercing through my bullet wound. My hand poses over my stomach and then I feel Tobias arms holding me at my waist.

"You okay?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah."

I straighten up and take small and paused breaths, the pain in my wound subsiding with each inhalation. I sigh and then make my way over to join the others at the ledge of the roof, Tobias right next to me.

This is Uriah's last Dauntless action. Zeke decided that scattering his ashes in the chasm was the ideal way to say goodbye, and since it's Choosing Day, he thought that making the whole initiation journey would be a good idea. He made sure that the net was still in place before we came here, so there's no danger of falling to our deaths.

"Would you like to go first, first jumper?" Zeke asks me kindly.

I shake my head. "Nah, not this time. Today's Uriah's day."

Zeke smiles at me and nods. "Alright, in that case," he pats the urn, "we'll go first little bro."

"Try not to trip this time, Zeke," Tobias says and Zeke turns to look at him with a smile.

"Don't you worry about me, Four," he replies and then stands on the ledge, gripping the urn to his chest, one hand on the top. Then he jumps off.

Cara walks over to the ledge and looks down. She shakes her head and turns to us. "I need a push."

Tobias walks over to her and places a hand on her back. "Close your eyes and take a deep breath." Cara does as she's told, but before she could do or say anything else, Tobias shoves her off the ledge, her screams piercing into my ears as she falls. Christina laughs and I shake my head at him.

He stands on the ledge next and I see him take a deep breath himself, curling his shaking hands into fists. I know he can jump. He's terrified of heights but he's done this about a million times in his fear landscape. He breathes out and then he jumps.

I follow after him. I look down at the hole in between the square of buildings and a familiar rush runs through my veins. I can still remember my first jump. I had jumped first because I was too proud and wanted to prove myself to everyone that I could be as brave as them, no matter if I was a Stiff or not. Stiff. That words sounds so foreign to me now. I lick my lips and like that first time, I don't think, I just bend my knees and jump. Soon, the hole surrounds me and I drop into darkness. I hit the net hard, the impact knocking the wind out of my lungs and making my bullet wound sting. I bite down the pain and I crawl over to the edge. A hand is there to help me down. I take it and then I get this feeling of Déjà vu when I stare into Tobias's dark blue eyes. He grins at me.

"First jumper, Tris," he murmurs and I smile big at him, kissing his lips.

By the corner of my eye I see another person drop, I quickly recognize Christina because of her loud screams. We all chuckle at her and Tobias helps her down as well. After her, Matthew follows and then Caleb.

"I can't believe Will had to do that," Cara sighs, rubbing at her arms.

We all walk down the narrow tunnel, lit at long intervals, and then Zeke pushes the set of double doors that leads us into the Pit. As we enter, I see that Amar, George and Shauna are already there, along with Hana –Zeke and Uriah's mother, and other old members of the Dauntless faction. Zeke walks over to his mother and kisses her cheek, taking a hold of her hand and squeezing it tightly. She gives him a sad smile before she poses her eyes on us. Tobias reaches over for my hand and I, too, squeeze his fingers in comfort.

After a minute or so, Zeke finally steps onto a wooden box, holding Uriah's urn tight to his chest. For some reason my thoughts travel to Al and his funeral, but I quickly shake them off and concentrate on Zeke.

"Thanks to all of you for being here," he starts off. "I know Uriah would be happy to see all his friends, family and neighbors gathered up here today. Uriah… he was… he was brave, and I'm not just talking about zip-lining or jumping off buildings. He was someone who always had something good to say and someone who always made people laugh. He stood up for the people he cared about and always had their backs. He was always there when someone needed to be cheered up; he was always good with words. He always used to attempt to steal my chocolate cake at dinner," we all let out a quiet laugh. He smiles. "And shoot muffins off people's heads," we laugh again and I look down, remembering that day that I spent with him, Marlene and Lynn when my friends weren't exactly being my friends. Zeke pauses for a second, letting out a sigh. "What happened to my brother was unfortunate," he glances at Tobias. "It was a horrible accident. He died young. But we're not here to cry for his dead, we've never done that as Dauntless, and we're not going to start now, he wouldn't want that; in fact he'd be cracking jokes right now. No, we're gonna celebrate his life, because his life is worth admiring and remembering. He lived like a true dauntless –always brave, always looking up ahead, always moving on and always living in the present. That was Uriah for you. Words can't really describe how brave he actually was, so…" he nods, taking off the top of the urn and stepping off the box. He walks over to the edge of the chasm. "For Uriah!" he exclaims and throws his ashes into the air.

I bite my lips together as I watch them fall toward the water before we all break into a cry, "For Uriah!"

We clap and cheer, and once more I feel like I'm Dauntless. Zeke walks back to his mother, who has tears in her eyes, and embraces her tightly. I squeeze Tobias's hand tighter and he squeezes back. The ashes mix with the water of the rumbling river and I feel a knot forming in my throat.

Goodbye my friend. Be brave.

"What are you thinking about?" Tobias asks me as we lay in bed later that night, our legs tangled together as I rest my head over his chest. He rubs my shoulder tenderly. He knows I'm still awake. After the ceremony, Zeke managed to get his hands on a couple of boxes of the Dauntless chocolate cake mix and we all had a piece in Uriah's name. We ate and chatted for a while, even Tobias and Zeke had a decent conversation, which makes me glad.

"Uriah," I respond. "And Will and Al, Tori, my parents…and I guess everyone. Not everyone had the chance to have a funeral like the one Uriah had."

"I know."

"It's just hard. At some moment I thought that I would overcome their deaths, I used to close my eyes and count to five, and then the pain would be gone, just for a moment of course; but I guess that it was just that I didn't really have the time to think of them after...we escaped the Erudite headquarters. Now that… everything's finally at peace… I guess my mind's not all over the place anymore." I say. "And now…they're just there…all the time."

Tobias sighs and moves us so he's now on his side, looking at me. He places a hand on my hip and props himself up on his elbow. "You never really get over something like that, Tris. You just learn to live with it, you never really forget."

"Wouldn't it be easier, though?"

He gives me a half smile. "You've never gone for easy, Tris. That's one of the many reasons why I love you."

I smile at him and lean up to kiss him. He moves his hand from my hip and places it on my cheek.

"Just give time some time," he says, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can't escape that damage. But now, I'm also learning this: that we can be mended. We mend each other," he gives me a small smile. "And you have no idea in how many ways you have accomplished to mend me, and I'm not talking only about Marcus. It's not going to be easy but you will learn to live with that pain, but you won't do it alone, you have me. We're a team, remember?"

I bite the inside of my cheek and smile. I nod. "Four and Six."

"Four and Six."

THE END

Like I said, I'm not that good of a writer, and it wasn't like I didn't like Veronica's ending, I loved it. I just needed to mend my heart. I hope that this had helped you as well.

Hope I hadn't ruined the book for you xD

Anyway, happy holidays.

Be Brave :)

P.S: was I the only one who whispered "Be Brave" when Tris died?

P.S. 2: sorry for Grammar and Spelling mistakes. If you want to share your pain, you can leave a review behind.

Xoxox

Mary.