Disclaimer: Everything belongs to CBS (sadly) and Anthony Zuiker (lucky bastard).
The song Why Ain't I Running belongs to Garth Brooks.
I just heard this song, and it made me think of Danny, so I decided to make a song-fic out of it… until my muses decide they like me again. Some of the story is connected; some of it is just bits and pieces. Enjoy and review, pretty please?
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I can hear
That highway calling
As I watch the sunrise
Crawling across her shoulder
"Montana? What are you doin' up at this un-godly hour?" Danny grunted and flipped over in the bed that surprisingly wasn't his. He could hear the city begin to wake and start its day, and he acknowledged the fact that he should probably do the same. However, it was his day off, and seeing Lindsay sitting up, reading a book like that, with only the sheet covering her body, really made him want to stay. The pale pink of the morning sky combined nicely with the gentle flush of her skin he had come to associate with a woman satisfied. She closed her book quietly and slid down to face him, his body blocking the sunlight from her eyes.
"I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." She tenderly stroked his cheek and he brought his hand up to twist with hers, holding her fingers in his like he had that day they had looked into the doll doctor murder, or whatever the hell that was. He kissed her gently.
"Nah, no point. I'm awake now." He grinned impishly and kissed her again. Lindsay sighed, but it was a contented sigh as she pulled him on top of her.
This is usually goodbye
And yet those words
I just can't find here
As I hold her
"Linds? You still alive?" Danny ran his hand softly up her arm and back down, resting his hand on her hip. She nodded faintly and smiled, eyes still firmly closed. "Mmm. That was amazing."
He smirked, tracing his fingers over her skin. "I concur. Let's do that more often."
She chuckled softly, pointing blindly to where their cell phones coincided on the bedside table. "If only those things wouldn't ring right in the middle of it, we could."
Danny sighed, resting his chin on her shoulder, sending the phones a death glare. "Mine shouldn't, at least not today. I'm off." He kissed the point where her neck met her shoulder, causing a shudder to tear through her body. "And I'm on call today. Start praying, cowboy." She rolled over and kissed him deeply. He groaned as her hands found his chest, waist, arms, back…
"WHOA, Montana. Happy to see me?" He licked his lips as she winked at him and began her descent downwards. He closed his eyes in anticipation. He felt her hand close around him and began reciting prayers in his head. God, let her finish, and I'll be a happy man.
That's when her ring tone cut through the air like a chainsaw. They both stared at it and each other in disbelief before Lindsay sighed, moving off the bed to answer it. Danny sat up, rubbing his face with his hands. He only half – heard the conversation, but that was enough.
Is this punishment for somethin', God? What the hell did I do?
He threw the pillow over his head and reveled in her laugh as she made her way to the shower.
She's like no other woman
That I have ever known before
And it ain't me to
See the morning sun
From this side of the door
"I'm really sorry about this, Danny. You know I am." She finished dressing and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him get dressed as well. He shrugged, not wanting to show her how much he really cared. "It's no big deal, Linds. I'll just go in today, see if they need me, go home if they don't, sleep, eat, breathe, ya know: guy stuff." He winked at her and she smiled at his nonchalance, putting on her shoes. Danny looked around the room once before heading out to make some coffee.
The first time he had been in Lindsay Monroe's apartment, she had been sick and he had been the bearer of good food. Stella, using all the cunning she possessed, he was sure, had tricked him into brining Lindsay all the good wishes from the lab, and all the other nonsense. Danny had rolled his eyes, informing Stella that Lindsay would probably kick him out upon seeing his face, but he was surprised when he got there to find that she was more than willing to let him up.
He had spent practically the whole day focused on making her feel better, and it made him feel fantastic.
Their relationship had gone entirely up-hill from there, a first for him. He had never lasted this long, eight months, without any doubts or second thoughts. There were times when they tended to drive each other insane, but had he really expected any different? The moment he had met her in that tiger cage, he knew it wouldn't be easy. She had been completely immune to every amount of his Messer charm, and it drove him nuts. But he loved her for it.
Why ain't I running?
Why ain't I gone?
How does she hold me
Without holding on?
"Danny, I thought I gave you the day off." Mac barely even looked up from the case file he was holding. Danny smirked and fell into step with his boss. "Yeah, well, you know me: over-achiever."
Mac looked up at the small hint of sarcasm he detected in the young man's voice, raising an eyebrow. "Still, why don't you go home and get some sleep?" He stopped walking to sign a document handed to him by one of the techs. Danny shoved his hands in his back pockets, waiting for his boss, letting his eyes rove around the lab. His sight fell on Lindsay leaning over a piece of evidence, her hair pulled into a ponytail high on her head. She was deeply involved in her work and as he watched, she absently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear while also reaching for her magnifying glass. He bit his lip in the resistance to just go and press up behind her, to hold her for a moment while she looked so beautiful: but they were at work, and he knew she wouldn't like that. So he contented himself with watching her through the glass.
Mac looked up from the file to catch Danny staring at something in the lab. He looked and saw Lindsay carefully documenting pieces of evidence. Eyes shifting quickly, Mac realized what was going on. Danny was at work because Lindsay had to be; of course that's what it was. Danny wasn't being stubborn; he was in love. Mac smirked to himself and shook his head. Not funny joking about falling in love, my ass.
Danny looked over to catch Mac shaking his head and smiling. "What?"
Mac just chuckled and began walking towards his office, looking pointedly at Danny as he did so. Danny felt himself grow red with suspicion, but he simply held out his arms in a helpless gesture and followed his boss. "What?"
In love or a fight
She's stronger than strong
"I hate you!"
"That's impossible, because I'm still standin' here!"
"I can fix that!"
"Bitch!"
"Asshole!"
Danny's hand grabbed her wrist as she was about slap him. Lindsay's face was red and her chest was heaving, but she didn't let her surprise at his quick action control her. She hit him with her other hand, this time in the form of a fist, and gasped when she saw the pain in his eyes. Danny took her momentary pause as an opportunity, and he shoved her against the wall forcefully. "Lucky shot, Montana," he growled, pinning both her wrists above her head. She writhed beneath him, attempting to get away, but that only caused his hands to hold her tighter. She tried to kick him, but he braced her feet with his, using all the police training he had. "Just…stop…fightin'…me…" he panted.
She looked up at him with those big brown eyes and he felt his strength being sapped from him. "Okay," she whispered, and she captured his lips in hers, biting gently. He groaned and pressed his body against hers, giving into the lustful wanting spinning throughout his being.
Something's not right
If there ain't nothing wrong
It's got me wondering
Why ain't I running?
Why ain't I gone?
"You know, Messer, if we ever did have a fight that violent, you really wouldn't be getting any. I'd have kicked your ass." Lindsay traced circles on his chest, propping her head up on her arm to look at him.
Danny turned his head, wrapping her fingers in his. "Well, you shouldn't have given in that fast." It hadn't even been a real fight. They hadn't ever really fought about something, except at the office, and that banter always had some underlying sexual tension. If he had really fought with her, he wouldn't be lying in bed next to her right now: he'd be out that door, on his way to another woman.
Lindsay snorted, lightly slapping his shoulder. "I didn't! It took all the willpower I had not to jump you when you had me pushed against the wall the first time!"
He laughed at the innocent irritation in her eyes and voice. "Is that a confession, Miz Monroe?"
She rolled on top of him, straddling his hips. "You bet, cowboy."
All those words
I left behind me
Praying they would never
Find me and my freedom
Danny sighed, looking at the pictures his ma had sent him for Christmas. There was one of him and Louie when he was only eight. The boys were in full baseball gear and Danny was grinning at the camera with every amount of teeth he possessed. Which, ironically, was only about seventy-five percent; the other twenty-five had already gone to the tooth fairy.
"I guess that was the summer you decided to get rich quick?" Lindsay came up behind him and snaked her arms around his waist. Danny chuckled, lifting an arm so she could move around next to him. "Kinda. Louie taught me to fight that summer, and he knocked most of 'em out."
Lindsay giggled. "I bet your mom loved that."
Danny shrugged. "Ah, Ma was just glad we were gettin' along. That was the last summer he wanted anythin' to do with me." He felt the pressure around his waist tighten and looked down to see Lindsay watching him cautiously. He grinned and hugged her to him tighter. "Which allowed me to become focused on school and baseball, so I guess that was a good thing."
She laid her head against his chest. "You miss him."
It wasn't a question, just a simple statement, but it hit Danny like a ton of bricks. He looked back at the pictures, this time at the one of his high school graduation. Louie hadn't been able to come to that; he was on "business". Along with the Giant's Stadium incident, Danny had plenty to be angry at Louie at, but all the grudges went out the window when Louie had been beaten to a pulp by Sonny Sassone. Lindsay had stood by him through all of it: the hospital time, the paperwork, the pain. When Louie had died from internal bleeding, Lindsay had been at the funeral. She understood.
"I spent my whole adulthood trying to get away from him. From that past, but it just catches up with me." He bit his lip, thinking. "I never really understood him, and I don't think he ever got me either." He nodded once, as though to clarify something with himself. "I do miss him, though," he confessed, sighing.
She just held him tighter.
But if they stood
Right here beside me
They would never recognize me
For all that she's done
He looked the same: same body, same voice, same glasses. He hadn't been majorly sick, or undergone any huge surgery. No piercings or tattoos, save the one on his right bicep, the one that always made her frown when she saw it. His clothes weren't especially new, and his hair was the same color it had always been.
It must have been the way he was holding the young woman's hand and whispering in her ear, explaining the complexities of Italian tradition. Or the way he laughed more openly than he had after his brother's funeral and traded jabs with his cousins. The way his eyes sparkled when he said her name or when he teased her about her accent.
Ma Messer rarely missed anything in her watchful gaze, taking in everything and everyone, and she definitely noticed the change in her son. He held the Lindsay woman's hand protectively, guiding her through the vast multitudes of family. She smiled at his happiness. Granted, the woman of his choice wasn't Italian, but Mrs. Messer could overlook that fact accept that this was the woman who brought her youngest bambino joy.
Danny kissed his mother on the cheek, noticing her misty eyes. "You feelin' okay, Ma?" he asked, grabbing a piece of bread from the counter in front of her.
His mother's eyes narrowed as he grinned at her around the food. "I'm fine, Daniel, but you won't be if your father doesn't get enough bread because of your big stomach." She swatted his shoulder, handing him another piece. "Which isn't big enough. Eat, you're too skinny."
Danny threw back his head and laughed. "Ma, please. I'm savin' room for dinner!" Nevertheless, he took the warm bread from his mother, raising his eyebrows at her when she didn't immediately let go. She pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, smiling as he buried his head in her shoulder, like he did when he was young. "You've changed, Danny," she whispered, stroking his hair softly.
He pulled away slowly, confused. "What are you talking about, Ma? I'm still me."
She shook her head, looking over at where Lindsay was playing with some of her grandnieces and nephews. Danny caught her gaze and followed it, grinning a laughing Lindsay. He looked back at his mother, only to find her focused on him. Her eyes softened, and she kissed his cheek. "No, you've changed. Just make sure you keep this one."
Once happiness was only
Whenever I was on my own
So now why do I feel lonely
Any time that I'm alone?
"C'mon, pick up the phone. C'mon!" Danny paced anxiously in his living room, stopping every so often to stare at his kitchen clock defiantly. That can't seriously be the time.
"Danny?" Lindsay's voice was groggy over the phone line and he breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Lindsay! I was just checkin' up on you, just make sure you were still alive over there." She had asked for a day off, just to get some sleep, and Danny had to admit that he was worried about her. Hearing her voice on the other end of the line was a comfort, and he stopped pacing to sit on his couch and listen to her yawn.
He could almost hear the sleep in her tone when she told him, in very unclear sentences, that she was fine. "Just tired; lack of sleep will do that to you; is that the time?" She yawned again and Danny suddenly felt very foolish for being so concerned. "Yeah, well, just makin' sure you were—"
"Still alive? Yeah, I got the point." Her words were severe, but he caught the smallest hint of a smile and he grinned sheepishly before remembering that she couldn't see him. "'Kay, well, I'll let you get back to dreamland then."
"Yes, your dream self is eager to finish what he started." Lindsay giggled at Danny's stunned silence. "Goodnight, sweet prince." She had to stifle her laughter as she was hanging up her phone. I only wish I could've seen the look on his face.
Danny's grin grew a little wider as he caught snippets of laughter through the phone before Lindsay had finished hanging up. God, I love that woman. He blinked owlishly. Wait, love? Danny Messer leaned back on his couch, contemplating the seriousness of his words. His whole body relaxed as he looked around his empty apartment.
Lindsay's cell beeped once, signifying the arrival of a text message. She rolled over sleepily and looked at the display screen through hazy eyes.
I love you. D.
She grinned into her pillow. He must really be missing her, poor boy. She quickly texted him back, turning off her phone as she did so. She had wanted a day off for sleeping purposes, and no hot New York detective would deter her mission. Not even if he was adorably vulnerable at the moment.
Danny flipped open the view screen of his phone as it told him he had a new text.
Get some sleep, cowboy. You'll need to be in tip-top shape when I stop by your place tomorrow. Reply back to this, and you can tell Mac why I'm in such a bad mood for the next week.
P.S. Love you too. Montana.
Danny smirked and picked himself off his couch to head to the bedroom.